Hannah Montana: Season One (2006-07) Show & DVD Details Creators: Michael Poryes, Rich Correll, Barry O'Brien / Regular Director: Roger S. Christiansen / Regular Writers: Douglas Lieblein, Sally Lapiduss, Heather Wordham, Steven Peterman, Todd J. Greenwald Regular Cast: Miley Cyrus (Miley Stewart/Hannah Montana), Emily Osment (Lilly Truscott), Mitchel Musso (Oliver Oken), Jason Earles (Jackson Stewart), Billy Ray Cyrus (Robbie Ray Stewart) Recurring Characters: André Jamal Kinney (Cooper), Moises Arias (Rico), Shanica Knowles (Amber Addison), Anna Maria Perez de Tagle (Ashley Dewitt), Francis Callier (Roxy), Cody Linley (Jake Ryan), Greg Baker (Mr. Corelli), Romi Dames (Traci Van Horn), Morgan York (Sarah), Peter Allen Vogt (Albert Dontzig), Lisa Arch (Liza), Jack Taylor (Dandruff Danny), Kyle Kaplan (Chad the Chomper) Notable Guest Stars: Corbin Bleu (Johnny Collins), Matt Winston (Fermine), Paul Vogt (Mr. Dontzig), Lindsey Stoddart (Margo Diamond), Daniel Samonas (Josh), Rae'ven Larrymore Kelly (Olivia), Allison Brie (Nina), Vicki Lawrence (Mamaw Ruthie), Patrick Kerr (Simon Tisdale), Shenika Williams (Coach Lewis), Cooper Thornton (Mr. Picker), Kirby Blanton (Becca Weller), Ashley Tisdale (Maddie Fitzpatrick), Richard Portnow (Marty Klein), Gwendoline Yeo (Bree Yang Shixian Takahashi Samuels), Dolly Parton (Aunt Dolly Stewart), Donovan Scott (Principal Fisher), Drew Osborne (Willis), Erin Matthews (Ms. Karen Kunkle), Ellen Albertini Dow (Katherine McCord), Amir Talai (Sanjay), Kenneth Mars (Gunther), Jaelin Palmer (The Cracker), Michael Kagan (Collin Lassiter), Savannah Stehlin (Paula Dontzig), Sean Whalen (Moose Master Mike) Running Time: 591 Minutes (26 episodes) / Rating: TV-G 1.33:1 Fullscreen (Original Broadcast Ratio) / Dolby Stereo 2.0 (English, Spanish) Subtitles: English for Hearing Impaired, Spanish; Closed Captioned; Extras Subtitled Season 1 Airdates: March 24, 2006 - March 30, 2007 DVD Release Date: November 18, 2008; Six-sided fold-out Digipak with cardboard slipcover Suggested Retail Price: $39.99; Four single-sided, dual-layered discs (DVD-9)

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There have been plenty of cheesy sitcoms aimed at children in recent years. Most of them never earn awareness from non-parents or anyone else outside the limited target demographic. Most are forgotten after they leave the air, usually after a few short seasons. I could give you titles of examples, but they likely wouldn't ring any bells (if they did, you might be offended) and to be honest, I'm having trouble remembering them myself. Today, one cheesy, kid-oriented sitcom stands well above the competition: Disney Channel's "Hannah Montana". This two-year-old series is the foundation of a tween empire predicted to value $1 billion by year's end. You may already know that, though, because the show carries so much unprecedented recognition that its existence and success is planted firmly in the public's consciousness. And that is the new Disney magic, the kind of wizardry that's been at the forefront of the company since Robert Iger became CEO in 2005. Content with little artistic worth gets embraced by children and families to unheard of degrees. The ensuing merchandise onslaught provides the Mouse financial stability, so who cares if the quality of the brand name takes a dive? That would only be an issue if the people of America and around the globe weren't welcoming these loud fads with open arms and wallets. And unless audience standards suddenly rise, Disney has no short-term reason not to keep milking the Hannah Montana, High School Musical, and Air/Snow/Space Buddies cash cows that now feature so prominently in the company portfolio. It's really not all bad. Pixar has secured dictionary placement under "genius", Disney's feature animation department appears to be taking strides since its mid-decade lows, Jerry Bruckheimer's less objectionable adventures offer family films a jolt of excitement, and there are even plans for the Muppets to make a grand scale return (preferably without the company of Disney Channel stars). But, this review looks at one of the studio's present favorite enterprises, the mundane, ill-conceived cable television program that introduced the world to Miley Cyrus, Hannah Montana, and the obnoxious franchise that's rendered both ubiquitous since 2006. "Hannah Montana" centers on a crowd-inciting teenage pop star (Cyrus) whose fame and schedule apparently rarely extend beyond Malibu. That conveniently enables the pop star to lead a quiet, ordinary life as California student Miley Stewart. With a blonde wig on, she's Hannah, a sold-out concert act and riot waiting to happen. Without, she's simply Miley, a down-to-earth brunette girl who doesn't quite fit into any of the school cliques the series hardly establishes. At no point does the sitcom ever overcome that lamebrained premise. It's juvenile fantasy wrapped in accessibility, imagined by middle-aged men and lobbed at receptive tweenaged girls. That this demographic, on the cusp of applying to high school, is able to overlook the show's rampant idiocy is no testament to the show's producers, but a startling revelation of how lacking in discernment many of today's youths evidently are. Miley's secret is safe with the rest of the regular cast. Cornball widowed father Robbie Ray Stewart (country 1-hit wonder and Miley's real-life pa Billy Ray Cyrus) always has something banal to say. He shows only a pinch of maturity above his teenaged kids, but his parenting style is one of the most reliable sources of comedy, nearly all of it the unintentional variety. Dad's partner in "B" storylines is his son Jackson (Jason Earles), an oddball whose broad antics the show mistakenly believes are funny. The firm belief of "Hannah Montana" creators in broad comedy can be traced back to popular past Disney Channel original series in whose mold it was built. The show's success rate falls in between the intolerable "That's So Raven" and the nearly adequate "The Suite Life of Zack & Cody." Like those programs, it opts for some of the lowest quality digital video and least believable laugh tracks you'll find on television. The critical consensus seems to be that Disney was more relevant and potent with its single-camera film comedies from earlier this decade: "Even Stevens", "Lizzie McGuire", and "Phil of the Future." But it's well-known that their techniques cost more. Since the inexpensive "Raven", "Suite", and "Hannah" have garnered the network its highest ratings to date, the onus again falls on the public, who are getting more of the cheap rubbish they've bafflingly chosen to embrace. "Hannah" shows very little creativity in the stories it tells. Most of the time, our attentions lie with Hannah in her unassuming alter ego. Often by her side are two Seaview Middle School classmates (why 15-year-olds are still in middle school, I don't know): best friend Lilly Truscott (Emily Osment) and platonic pal Oliver Oken (Mitchel Musso). On occasion, an effort is made to reveal geeky quirks about the two buddies. For the most part, though, despite the fine efforts of their performers, they're contrived confidants; mere extensions of Miley's agreeable and lightly sarcastic personality. The plots involving secrets, the opposite sex, gossip, rivalries, misunderstandings, and predicaments have all been told before and with far more realism and maturity. To break up the shallow episode center, we cut to Dad and Jackson, who are occupied by no shortage of silly issues. It's a safe bet that any given father/son B plot will feature some wacky hairstyles and/or food-in-face incidents. It's fine that there is not a shred of realism on display, as sitcoms rarely possess much of this. But one never for a second believes that these are genuine family and friends hanging out in an occupied house. Even those who don't quite think about their television programming in such a way have to somehow recognize these are actors of modest skill and salary goofing around for the numerous cameras located around the flashy artificial sets. This understanding tends to deflate the instances when the show tries to get serious or reveal a heart. At least, such moments are rare and offer respite from the standard shenanigans. The list of shortcomings could go on and on, while covering every aspect of the show. Stupid writing: the title character and scenarios surrounding her bear no relation to our world, the episodes are tremendously predictable. Feeble execution: at every opportunity, the show chooses the broadest route possible, minimizing the comedic potential that's already low since every dull joke is overly telegraphed. Weak acting: pick any given line, think about its intention and witness how the delivery fails to achieve this. Ironically, the two most famous names in the cast (Miley and Billy Ray) are probably the weakest in this department; she's more talented as a singer/stage presence and he may have been funnier on the PAX drama "Doc." The overriding lack of subtlety contributes to each of these drawbacks. To make up for the white-bread core cast, nearly every guest star and recurring character lets the show and network tout their diversity cards. Guest stars are as over-the-top as the regulars, if not more so. (For a perfect example, look no further than Francis Callier, who seems to think she's on "Raven" as sassy bodyguard Roxy.) So too are the liberally-employed stunt doubles. Speaking of guest stars and stunts, "Hannah" may not have network sweeps but it does dabble in stunt casting. Appearing as Hannah's relatives in Season 1 are Vicki Lawrence ("Mama's Family") as Mamaw Ruthie, Dolly Parton as Aunt Dolly, and Miley Cyrus herself as hillbilly cousin Luann. "Suite Life"/High School Musical actress Ashley Tisdale also guests as part of July 2006's highly-viewed three-series crossover event. "Hannah Montana" boasts the production values of the cheapest kid sitcom around, yet also somehow a fanbase that network TV would envy. It's not that the show is terrible so much as its success and current prominence in the Disney family is terribly undeserved. Such a certain moneymaker is "Hannah Montana" that it recently became only the third Disney Channel series treated to a Complete First Season DVD set by Disney themselves. Both of the previous ones (the 1980s' Australian "Five Mile Creek" and 1990s' Canadian "Avonlea") never received a second release, nor did the more direct ancestor "Lizzie McGuire" (which was dropped after a Volume 1 Box Set in 2004). Does "Hannah" have what it takes to keep coming to DVD in this way or is this a fluke? We certainly haven't seen the last of the less consumer-friendly 4-episode compilations Disney Channel shows usually get; new ones are scheduled for "Wizards of Waverly Place" and "Phineas and Ferb", plus the Mouse just announced a fifth one devoted to "Hannah" for release next March. However, with the third season recently commenced (and earning more headlines from another microcontroversy), a theatrical film due in April (Hannah Montana: The Movie), and an Amazon sales rank on this set still under 1000 over a month after release, I'd say "Hannah" seems likely to elicit a coveted Second Season DVD from the unusually-cautious-about-TV-DVDs Disney. Disc 1 1. Lilly, Do You Want To Know A Secret? (23:52) (Originally aired March 24, 2006) Backstage at a Hannah Montana concert, Lilly discovers Miley's secret, thus complicating the girls' friendship. Jackson wants money from Dad. 2. Miley Get Your Gum (22:42) (Originally aired March 31, 2006) Miley hatches a plan to deal with Oliver's Hannah Montana obsession. Jackson immediately regrets buying a used car when he learns it's a "girl's" one. 3. She's a Super Sneak (22:42) (Originally aired April 7, 2006) Ignoring their father's directions to stay home and study, Miley and Jackson separately sneak out to attend an Ashton Kutcher movie premiere. There, they see Dad, with a companion requiring undercover investigation. 4. I Can't Make You Love Hannah If You Don't (22:42) (Originally aired April 14, 2006) Miley tries to make a Hannah Montana fan out of 9th grade boy Josh (Daniel Samonas) by bringing him to one of her concerts and trying to be in two places at once. Jackson has a love interest of his own in Olivia (Rae'ven Larrymore Kelly), but his friend Cooper doesn't approve. 5. It's My Party And I'll Lie If I Want To (22:42) (Originally aired April 21, 2006) Hannah Montana attends Kelly Clarkson's birthday party without Lily tagging along as planned. Rather than admit she's embarrassed by Lily's antics as "Lola", Miley tries to hide the front page newspaper photo of her at the party. Jackson lets a student beautician (Romi Dames) have her way with his hair. 6. Grandmas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Play Favorites (22:42) (Originally aired April 28, 2006) Miley is upset to find her visiting Mamaw (Vicki Lawrence) more interested in seeing Jackson's championship volleyball match than her own audience with the Queen of England. Disc 2 7. It's a Mannequin's World (22:41) (Originally aired May 12, 2006) Despite Lilly's efforts to help, Robbie Ray still buys an embarrassingly uncool article of clothing for Miley's birthday. Also, Jackson struggles to keep a cake intact and bodyguard Roxy is overly protective of her client. 8. Mascot Love (22:42) (Originally aired May 26, 2006) To help them spend more time together, Miley convinces Lilly to try out for cheerleading. "Against" expectations, Lilly makes the team, but Miley is made mascot. Jackson offers to fix the kitchen sink for less than a plumber would charge. 9. Ooh, Ooh Itchy Woman (22:41) (Originally aired June 10, 2006) Miley must endure a class camping trip in close proximity to her nemeses. Back home, Jackson and Dad try to catch a mouse in separate ways. 10. O Say Can You... Remember These Words? (22:42) (Originally aired June 30, 2006) Miley develops stage fright when her Romeo & Juliet assignment partner Oliver introduces her to the concept. After botching a national anthem performance, she seeks redemption on an unplugged show. Jackson battles a sweets addiction. 11. Oops! I Meddled Again (22:41) (Originally aired July 15, 2006) Because apparently Hannah Montana is also a responsive advice columnist, Miley learns a classmate has the hots for Oliver and tries to bring them together. Rico subjects Jackson to embarrassing duties while introducing chicken wings at the surf shop. 12. On the Road Again (22:41) (Originally aired July 28, 2006) A comment by Maddie of "The Suite Life of Zack & Cody" (Ashley Tisdale, appearing as part of the That's So Suite Life of Hannah Montana crossover event) prompts Miley to encourage Dad to return to the music stage he left years ago for child-raising. With Dad away on tour, Roxy keeps a very close watch on Miley and Jackson. 13. You're So Vain, You Probably Think This Zit Is About You (22:42) (Originally aired August 12, 2006) Lilly doesn't want to wear unfashionable glasses while waiting for new contact lenses. Miley's own appearance concerns involve a giant zit on an acne cream billboard. Needing a raise at work, Jackson reluctantly agrees to play the female assistant in Rico's magic act. The haughty photographer shooting Hannah (played by Lisa Arch of "Cory in the House") has new significance following the Annie Leibovitz photo scandal. Disc 3 14. New Kid In School (22:42) (Originally aired September 8, 2006) Bothered by the star treatment bestowed upon, and lapped up by, new celebrity classmate Jake Ryan (Cody Linley), Miley reveals her secret famous alter ego to an entertainment reporter. Jackson and Dad wreck each other's car. 15. More Than a Zombie To Me (22:41) (Originally aired September 8, 2006) While making a guest appearance on Jake's TV show "Zombie High", Miley begins developing feelings for her cocksure co-star and invades the '70s dance he's taken Lilly to. Robbie and Jackson engage in a war of pranks. 16. Good Golly, Miss Dolly (22:42) (Originally aired September 29, 2006) Aunt Dolly (Dolly Parton) visits and advises Miley on how to deal with her complicated feelings for Jake Ryan. When a tape holding Miley's private declaration of love for Jake gets into his hands, Dolly leads the mission to retrieve it. 17. Torn Between Two Hannahs (22:11) (Originally aired October 14, 2006) Miley's evil country cousin Luann (also played by Miley Cyrus) threatens to ruin her life when she attends a Halloween party posing as Hannah Montana. Jackson and Robbie work to make their house more scary. 18. People Who Use People (22:42) (Originally aired November 3, 2006) When Miley sees Jake with another girl, she tries to make him jealous with the first guy she can find. Jackson encourages Robbie dating his teacher. 19. Money For Nothing, Guilt For Free (22:31) (Originally aired November 26, 2006) Miley, Lilly, and Oliver realize Hannah Montana can drastically help their efforts to collect charity donations. Jackson learns that Dad has been letting him win in their basketball games. This episode randomly ends with Hannah singing "Who Said" in concert. 20. Debt It Be (22:42) (Originally aired December 1, 2006) After purchasing clothes from a flea market with her newly-received emergency credit card, Miley immediately feels buyer's remorse. She and Jackson hatch a plan to cover the bill by selling off Hannah Montana's wardrobe. Disc 4 21. My Boyfriend's Jackson and There's Gonna Be Trouble (22:42) (Originally aired January 1, 2007) After a report claims Jackson is Hannah's boyfriend, he plays the part to his advantage. Oliver teams with Sarah (Morgan York) on a school project. 22. We Are Family - Now Get Me Some Water! (22:42) (Originally aired January 7, 2007) After Hannah inadvertently gets Jackson fired, she reluctantly takes him on as a professional assistant. 23. Schooly Bully (22:42) (Originally aired January 19, 2007) When the new girl in school (whose racist nickname is The Cracker) picks on Miley, her bodyguard Roxy poses as a student to protect her. Robbie and Jackson get snowed in at a strange motel with its odd manager (guest Kenneth Mars). 24. The Idol Side of Me (22:41) (Originally aired February 9, 2007) As revenge for ranking near the bottom of Amber and Ashley's popularity list, Hannah arranges for Ashley to embarrass herself on "Singing with the Stars." Jackson and Dad do battle with the neighbor and his dog. 25. Smells Like Teen Sellout (22:42) (Originally aired March 2, 2007) Miley is conflicted by endorsing a perfume she can't stand the smell of. Jackson tries outdoor living for a shot at appearing on TV's Teen Wilderness Challenge. 26. Bad Moose Rising (22:42) (Originally aired March 30, 2007) Miley bets Jackson that she can endure a day with the neighbor's demanding niece. Meanwhile, Roxy tries to restore health in a sick Robbie Ray. VIDEO and AUDIO Picture quality on the fullscreen video is atrocious, but that's because it's made in the cheap-as-possible Disney Channel digital video sitcom format. This design renders everything soft and blurry, and colors tend to be bright and garish. I understand these represent the series' humble beginnings, but really, you'd think Disney could take just a tiny bit of the franchise's billion dollar net worth to make "Hannah Montana" be a show about 15-year-olds, not one that looks like 15-year-olds shot it on their lunch hour with a younger sibling's Polaroid Pixie. Sitcoms from the 1960s look better than this. And I'm simply watching this on a standard 27-inch television. I can only imagine how painful it'd be blown up on a larger screen. As far as sound goes, we get just two-channel stereo. You would think that a show about a music star, on which original popular songs regularly feature, that a 5.1 mix might be in order. Instead, the presentation seems needlessly short-sighted and probably is comparable to cable broadcast quality. BONUS FEATURES, MENUS and PACKAGING Each disc designates one episode part of "Hannah's Highlights." The four episodes ("Grandmas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Play Favorites", "You're So Vain, You Probably Think This is Zit is About You", "Torn Between Two Hannahs", and "The Idol Side of Me") are treated to a pop-up trivia subtitle track. Two actual supplements reside on Disc 4. First up is the 7-minute featurette "Back Home Again with Miley", which lets us tag along with Billy Ray Cyrus and his daughter as they show us their Nashville, Tennessee ranch and share some personal anecdotes. It's played for the camera, but at least it reveals that a real human family is behind the show, not just suits and automatons. Second and final is the first episode of the 2008 "Disney Channel Games" (22:35). It's a neat inclusion because it falls into the "so easy Disney ordinarily wouldn't think of it" class. That said, it's also reality television at its cheesiest. Quasi-celebrities from the cable network's shows/movies and unknown personalities from the international versions come together for a four-team, tween-friendly, Olympic-style competition. Though there are a number of noteworthy absences (like the entire High School Musical troupe, then busy with HSM3's 2-month production), this year's talent includes the Sprouse twins of "The Suite Life of Zack & Cody" (who miss this episode aside from scripted comedy bits), Camp Rock's Demi Lovato, and all three Jonas Brothers. "Hannah Montana" is represented by Moises Arias (Rico), Anna Maria Perez de Tagle (Ashley), and 31-year-old Jason Earles (Jackson). Brian Stepanek (Arwin on "Suite Life", Dex on Qwest billboards) hosts and Miley Cyrus closes the episode with a performance of her song "Break Out" to a typically excited audience. The animated main menu screens lend themselves more to inspection than your typical DVD, with the title "Hannah Montana" being comprised of hundreds of tiny clips. Or at least that's what it looks like; you're not really able to make anything out. But it's a nice design choice and less expected than the use of "Best of Both Worlds." Static submenus use other Hannah songs. All the discs load with the now-standard Disney promo. Disc One follows it up with trailers for Pinocchio: Platinum Edition, Bolt, The Cheetah Girls: One World, the "Hannah Montana" and High School Musical DVD games, and an ad for Disney Movie Rewards. The Sneak Peeks' menu first page adds looks at High School Musical 2, The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian, The Little Mermaid II: Return to the Sea Special Edition, The Secret of the Magic Gourd, Space Buddies, and "Wizards of Waverly Place". The Complete First Season of "Hannah Montana" is treated to Disney's formerly preferred sitcom set packaging: a Digipak sliding into a box cardboard box. Because "Hannah" requires that extra bit of flair, the box is spruced up with touches of holography and embossing. Three inserts reside in the Digipak's designated slot. They supply a Disney Movie Rewards code (which will earn 250 points through mid-December), a booklet advertising a whole mess of Disney Channel DVDs (and their big screen cousin High School Musical 3, slated for February release), and a tiny glittery Hannah Montana iron-on T-shirt transfer. CLOSING THOUGHTS The fairly wretched sitcom "Hannah Montana" has finally been given the complete season treatment that most of today's scripted TV shows get without hesitation. I don't recommend this program. Though not a complete loss, it's more appropriate to check out during a channel-surfing dry spell than to own and revisit regularly. If you like "Hannah" enough to disregard my disapproval, you may very well have spent as much on just two of the random 4-episode compilations earlier released. In which case, shame on you and this is a no-brainer purchase. With all the terrific TV programming Disney has produced over the years, it's so unfair that this oft-aired tripe is released to DVD while far more valuable telemovies, specials, and series collect dust in the studio's archives. Oh well, let me close with a cliché worthy of being uttered on "Hannah": money talks. After all, life's what you make it and she's just being Miley. More on the DVD / Buy from Amazon.com