What Disney Characters Will Never Say

[avonleastories95]

Quasimodo: If it walks like a woman, it talks like a woman, it swaggers like a woman, if it plays ball like a woman, if it f**** like a woman, IT SHOLY MUST BE A WOMAN!
Laverne: Quasi, you have no respect for women.
Quasimodo: So, stony, you woman too? Stony!

(Laverne slaps Quasi)
Quasi:

[Big Disney Fan]

A variation on an old quote previously posted some time ago...

WALT DISNEY: If you can dream it - and you're practically made of money - you can do it. Always remember that this whole thing was started with a dream and some contractual mumbo-jumbo that screwed me out of a cartoon rabbit.

[avonleastories95]

Statler: I'm Statler.
Waldorf: I'm Waldorf, we're here to heckle the Muppets Hurt or Heal!
Policeman: New thread in Polls and Games.
Statler: Polls and Games?
Waldorf: Yeah, they are afraid to put it in General Discussion!
Statler: Oh, the Polls and Games thread!
Waldorf: Look at it, what a dump!
Statler: Bunch of weirdos around here, look at em!
Waldorf: CLOSE THIS DUMP DOWN!
Sweetums: Hey, is this seat taken?
Miss Piggy: HEY YOU, HEY, BRING THAT BACK! Kermie, I saved you a seat, but someone "took" it.
Statler: I like this Hurt or Heal fine so far!
Waldorf: It has not started yet!
Statler: That's what I like about it!
Kermit: Statler, Waldorf, what are you guys doing here?
Statler: We entered a UD contest!
Waldorf: We lost. Instead of getting a Lace Collar, we have to host and heckle this Hurt or Heal.
Kermit: Thank you all for attending this! It goes back from 1979 to 1996 and has a few TV Specials in there too!
Miss Piggy: Kermie, speeches are not necessary deart, start the game.
Kermit: I just wanted to thank avonleastories95 for his hard work and his patience.
Animal: START GAME!!!!!!!! START GAME!!!!!!!!
Kermit: Start the game!

[Sky Syndrome]

*Pocahontas and John Smith run through the woods with a buck and a doe*
Buck and Doe *to Pocahonta's dress*: Hello, deceased friend deer!

[Semaj]

Snow White: "No thanks. I hate apples."

Cinderella: (to stepsisters) "You two are my best friends!"

Alice: "I love you, Mad Hatter." <3

Aurora: "You fools! My favorite color is green!"

Ariel: "I'm hungry. Let's go to Red Lobster!"

Belle: "Reading is for nerds."

Jasmine: "I'm alone and scared. I wanna go home."

Pocahontas: "Don't you love my coonskin cap?"

Mulan: "My sex change operation was last Friday."

Tiana: "I eat my meals at Mickey's D's. Cooking is for chumps."

Rapunzel: "Where's my shoes?"

[Big Disney Fan]

I forgot to mention something...

TIANA: I want a feast!
TIANA'S FATHER: You just ate!
TIANA: I want a bean feast. Cream buns and doughnuts and fruitcake with no nuts So good you could go nuts.

No, now!!

I want a ball
I want a party
Pink macaroons and a million balloons
And performing baboons and ...
Give it to me
Rrhh rhhh
Now!

I want the world
I want the whole world
I want to lock it all up in my pocket
It's my bar of chocolate
Give it to me
Now!

I want today
I want tomorrow
I want to wear 'em like braids in my hair
And I don't want to share 'em

I want a party with room fulls of laughter
Ten thousand tons of ice cream
And if I don't get the things I am after
I'm going to scream!

I want the works
I want the whole works
Presents and prizes and sweets and surprises
Of all shapes and sizes
And now
Don't care how
I want it now
Don't care how
I want it now.

PRINCE NAVEEN: She was a bad egg.

[avonleastories95]

That was clever!

[Big Disney Fan]

KING LOUIE: Now, here's your part of the deal, cuz: lay the secret on me of man's red fire.
MOWGLI: Matches.
KING LOUIE: That's it?

[Semaj]

Pluto: (about Goofy) "He's the only fucking dog who's good enough to wear fucking pants?

Well I wanna wear the fucking pants for once!"

[avonleastories95]

Pluto: (about Goofy) "He's the only fucking dog who's good enough to wear fucking pants?

Well I wanna wear the fucking pants for once!"

That was very funny, Semaj! This reminds me of Buck the Dog from Married with Children. Even funnier that way!

Mickey Mouse: Steamboat Bill, strollin down the Mississippi. Wtf? My name is Willie, not Bill! Matthew, will you ever get it right?
Mickey Mouse: Hiya folks! Oh, I sees me purty gurls in de water. Ah hope ol’ Peggy Leg doesn’t realize I ate his last cookie!
Peg Leg Pete: Mr. Mouse, what happened to my last cookie?
Mickey Mouse: Well, I ated it.
Peg Leg Pete: What?!?!?! GO DOWN THERE! I BE TAKIN CHARGE OF THIS SHIP NOW!
Parrot: Squawk that was an epic fail, squawk!
Minnie Mouse: HEY, WAIT UP MICKEY! I THOUGHT WHAT WE HAD WAS SPECIAL! WAIT UP!
Mickey: Hi, future wifie!
Minnie: I am writing music for a play, hey Mickey, what is that stoned goat doing?
Mickey: Wait, we can still hear it. We’re old cartoon characters; we are supposed to be cruel to animals!
avonleastories95: Just wait until the ASPCA hears about this.
Mickey Mouse: I am also going to bang on some pots for no reason because I am special!
Duck: Must. Resist. Eating. Mouse.
Pete: Did I hear you having FUN down here? Off to the Potato Bin!
Parrot: That fail was so horrible, fail sweat is dripping!
Mickey Mouse: You started this, I will end it.
Parrot: Oops, you missed me. [/u][/b]

[Big Disney Fan]

MR. PRICKLEPANTS: Pricklepants. James Pricklepants.

(The joke is that Timothy Dalton voiced Mr. Pricklepants. Dalton had also portrayed James Bond in the past.)

[Margos]

MILO: F*** my mom! Try making me eat broccoli NOW! You can't! HAHAHAHAHA!
GRIBBLE: Now, young man. That's no way to behave. We must rescue your mother, as it is your filial duty.
MILO: Grrr, fine.
KI: ARGH! Resistance is futile! Long live the supervisor! (Shoots them both)

[Jay]

Ariel (to Eric)- Ya know I really don't like being part of your world anymore. I want to go back under the sea it's way more cheerful. Plus I look way hotter with a tail it makes me look skinner.

Drizella- Give it up mother I suck balls at singing. Give the solo to Cinderella her voice is lovely.

Quasimodo- I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt so sexy yea.....

Gaston- I think I'm going to shave my chest hair today.

[avonleastories95]

Little Green Men: Stop, retun to home! Incredible race of giants here, race of giants!
Fairy Godmomma: I can't let you in, Cinderella, you might be Mr. Death!
Mr Grim: Someone should remind her that Christmas is more than just barging down department store aisles and pushing people out of the way!
Chip (as a human): He was a baaaaadddd man, so I turned 'im into a jack-in the box, you must not think bad thoughts about me either or I'll do the same to you.
The Golden Harp: I'm not a harp, I am a mannequin! That's what I am, I'm a mannequin!

[Semaj]

Donald Duck: "Leave my pals Chip n' Dale alone!"

Peter Pan: (sigh) "Maybe it's time for me to grow up."

Dumbo: "Um, I have to something to say..."
Timothy: "HOLY SHIT! You can talk!"

Aurora: "But Flora, I don't wanna take a nap!"

Wart: "You know, I feel kinda sorry for that girl squirrel..."

Snow White: "I dunno girls, maybe we should let Eilonwy into our group..."
Cinderella: "Just shut up and eat your apples."
Snow White: "Okay..."

Penny (from The Resucers): "Pfft, who needs parents?"

Pooh: "YO PIGLET, WHERE'S MAH HUNNNY?!?!?!?!?!!11111"

[avonleastories95]

Flynn: Who am I fooling, my nose does look right!

Rapunzel: Wait? A frying pan could be used to hit people? FASCINATING!

Mother Gothel: I don't know if I am a villain or a hero, what the hey!

[Jules]

Winnie the Pooh: "Damn I need some exercise."

[Big Disney Fan]

MR. TOAD: Gad! What is it?
CYRIL: Blimey, gov'nor! It's a motorcar!
MR. TOAD: A motorcar? Eh, whatever.

[TheValentineBros]

Mickey Mouse: I HATE VIDEO GAMES!

Yeah, it's a WGJ4K reference.

[Jay]

Belle- This book blows!!!!! I have read it 100 times already and OH MY GOD I HATE THIS PART! She meets the prince and the dumbass doesn't even realize it's him

Snow White's Prince- Sorry guys I don't mack on dead chicks. There is this hot blonde in the next land over who is lookeing for her shoe I believe I can give her some assistance

Mother Gothel- Jeeeeeezus Rapunzel I just tripped over your hair again for the 5th time today! I have had it where are my shears your getting a long over do mushroom cut babay.