What Disney Characters Will Never Say

[Prudence]

EVIL QUEEN:
Magic Mirror on the wall,
Who's the fairest one of all?

MAGIC MIRROR:
Snow White, Snow White, Snow White --
I've told you a million times tonight.

QUEEN:
Magic Mirror on the wall,
What would happen if I let you fall?
You'd shatter to bits with a clang and a crash,
Your glass would be splintered - swept out with the trash,
Your frame would be bent, lying here on the floor --

MIRROR:
Hey, go ahead, ask me just once more.

QUEEN:
Magic Mirror on the wall,
Who's the fairest one of all?

MIRROR:
You - you - It's true,
The fairest of all is you - you - you.
(Whew!)

Shel Silverstein.

[Big Disney Fan]

EVIL QUEEN:
Magic Mirror on the wall,
Who's the fairest one of all?

MAGIC MIRROR:
Snow White, Snow White, Snow White --
I've told you a million times tonight.

QUEEN:
Magic Mirror on the wall,
What would happen if I let you fall?
You'd shatter to bits with a clang and a crash,
Your glass would be splintered - swept out with the trash,
Your frame would be bent, lying here on the floor --

MIRROR:
Hey, go ahead, ask me just once more.

QUEEN:
Magic Mirror on the wall,
Who's the fairest one of all?

MIRROR:
You - you - It's true,
The fairest of all is you - you - you.
(Whew!)

Shel Silverstein.

Yep, that's where it came from all right.

[Escapay]

I said that a month ago.

albert

[PeterPanfan]

Really, BDF. I don't even know if 1 % of what you say is plagarized or not...

[Big Disney Fan]

Here's something that's 100% my own:

WALT DISNEY: I'm perfectly fine with just "Snow White". Let's not do any more movies ever again!

---

LAMPWICK: What am I doing in a pool hall? I'll never be able to get an education at this rate in order to become an architect.

How's that? Can we please be nicer to each other now?

[universALLove]

How's that? Can we please be nicer to each other now?

I agree! Some people are giving way too much attitude on this forum!

[Prudence]

I said that a month ago.

albert

I didn't notice.

[Mason_Ireton]

*Buzz reads the plot for Toy Story 3*

Buzz: Why do we return to Andy's room?? let's just stay in the area where the climax took place.

[Margos]

Ooh, ooh, let me try!

Tiana: OMG, Lottie, look! It's a frog! I'm gonna go kiss it!
Charlotte: Eww! Tiana, get away from that filthy, disease-ridden amphibian!
Tiana: But it's just so cute! I want to put my mouth on it! It will become my one true love!
Charlotte: Don't be silly! You'll catch your death of mucus inhalation!
Tiana: But, Lottie...
Charlotte: No "buts" Missy! You march straight to my house, and I'll bake us some nice beignets.
Tiana: But I hate beignets! My Dad used to make them all the time, and I couldn't even eat them! Frogs taste so much better! *starts to cry like a baby*
Charlotte: *pulls out a toy frog* Who wants this frog?
Tiana: Me! Me!
Charlotte: Who's gonna be a princess when she grows up?
Tiana: Me! Me!
Charlotte: That's right! *gives her the toy frog* Now come on, I gotta get to do some nice, honest work! My dad wants to give me an allowance, but I won't accept anything I get for free!
Tiana: That's because you're not very bright, Lottie.
Charlotte: *glares, snatches toy frog, stomps off* You'll see! I'll open my own resturaunt someday! Then you'll see what honest work can do!
Tiana: *blank stare*
Froggy Naveen: She's right, you know. You disgust me, you lazy thing, you! *hops away*

[WDWLocal]

HORACE HORSECOLLAR: "Hello. I'm Mr. Ed."

PLUTO: "My master made me this collar. He is a good and smart master and he made me this collar so that I may talk. SQUIRREL!"

BIG BAD WOLF: "I'm through with pork! I'm only going to eat Kosher foods from now on!"

ALPHA: "What happened to my voice? I sound like Chip & Dale!"

WALL-E: *any lengthy sentences*

EVE: *any lengthy sentences*

M-O: *any lengthy sentences*

[Margos]

PLUTO: "My master made me this collar. He is a good and smart master and he made me this collar so that I may talk. SQUIRREL!"

Mickey: The bird is MINE!!
Donald: SQUAWK!!

[WDWLocal]

SILVERMIST: I hate water!

IRIDESSA: Turn off that light!

ROSETTA: (sneezes) Excuse me. I'm allergic to flowers.

FAWN (singing): A hunting I will go, a hunting I will go...

[Margos]

SILVERMIST: I hate water!

IRIDESSA: Turn off that light!

ROSETTA: (sneezes) Excuse me. I'm allergic to flowers.

FAWN (singing): A hunting I will go, a hunting I will go...

The last one gave me a mental image of Fawn dressed as Amos Slade, mustache and all *twitch*
On the same note:

VIDIA: OMG! Tink, I sooo love your hair! You're the coolest fairy ever, I LOVE YOU! Please be my bff! Talk to me! Come back!!!! *sobs endlessly*

TERENCE: I broke your scepter? I broke your scepter!? Oh yeah!? Come 'ere, bitch! *starts beating the crap out of Tink*

FAIRY MARY: Calm down, Duuude.... Relaaaax. We don't need to work today.... let's just go stare at clouds and just... be y'know? Maaaan.... my hands are beauuutiful! *stares dazedly at hands for next hour and a half*

[WDWLocal]

CHEF LOUIE: "Yorn desh born, der ritt de gitt der gue, Orn desh, dee born desh, de umn børk! børk! børk!"

WALL-E: "Man, I need a shower!"

AUTO: "You are absolutely right, Captain. Earth IS our home and in danger and we MUST go home at once!"

MAD HATTER: "Tea?! (snorts in disdain) Get me a cup of coffee!"

TIMON & PUMBAA: "Bugs?! Why would anyone want to eat bugs?! They're so icky and gross!!!"

CHIP & DALE: "We really should give Donald a break and leave him alone."

[IagoZazu]

Yes! This will be fun!

Jafar: Why can't I be sultan?! I hate that little fat moron and his chump daughter! I hired a bunch of bozos from all over Arabia and not a SINGLE one got me far to get that lamp! The lamp! I wanna have that lamp! Then I can shove those moldy, disgusting crackers in HIS mouth! Seriously! If I have to choke on another one of those crackers, I'll bash him on the head with my staff like BAM! SLAM!

Iago: Calm yourself Jafar. We shall win this massive battle quickly, easily, and focibly with utmost efficiency.

Zazu: Go ahead young master! Go out and explore the whole wide world! Go see all of it's wonders! And I personally recommend you go to the Elephant Graveyard. I hear it's simply fantastic!

Rolly: I'm not hungry mother. Really, I'm not.

Gaston: Read to succeed!

Amos Slade: I live for coats, I worship coats! After all is there a man in this dang country who doesn't?!

Taran: Being a famous warrior would be too demanding. I would have to go around fighting big scary monsters and saving stupid girls. Being a pigkeeper is great! I can waller in the mud with my Hennie Wennie all day!

Young Simba: Guess what uncle Scar? When I become king, I'll rule over a BIG kingdom with all the animals bowing before me! I'll be all powerful!

Scar: I know...

Young Simba: Yeah Scar, that must suck. You won't be around when I become king! And you were so close to becoming one too!

Scar: Why don't you go see what the crocodile is doing this fine day? I bet he would bow before you so gracefully.

Merlin: Just you wait Archimedes! One day there will be children playing visions on TVs called video games and people listening to electrical music on round glass and tiny boxes that will be called CDs and Ipods! There will be metal vehicles called cars and moving objects on a sceern called movies! Why, there will be a man on the moon and many more people in outer space! But then there will come a universal force that will connect all people around the world through networking, chat rooms, sites, and forums called the internet! (Archimedes laughs his beak off and Merlin scowls and turns away bitterly)

[ajmrowland]

[Mason_Ireton]

Geppetto: Ah instead of real boy, I rather find myself a good girl. And I'll date the 1st girl I see.

*Blue Fairy appears*

Blue Fairy: Geppetto, you've given so much to others, your wish shall be granted.

Geppetto: Will you date me?

Blue Fairy: Sorry I'm datin Father Time.

[Margos]

[Mason_Ireton]

Thanks for the inspiration Margos... she gets full credit for this next one.

What would happen if Chip and Dale had girl friends

Rene (Chip's Gf): Take out the trash!
Chip: But honey, I have to go bother some duck!
Rene: NOW, Mister!
*Dale laughs at Chip's misfortune*

Gwen (Dale's Gf): Don't you laugh, you got'ta run a few errands.

Dale: But I don't want to. Already ran the errands anyways.

*Rene keeps a watchful eye on Chip*

Chip: Sweetie can I please bother Donald?? *puts the dishes away*

Rene: No way you've pissed him off for nearly 66 years.

Chip/Dale: So! We love ticking him off

*Gwen backhands Dale on the head*

Dale: ouch I mean I kinda feel bad

*Gwen whaps him again*

Dale: Uh I mean I feel ashamed. *rubbing his head*

[Margos]

Thanks for the credit, Mason, but you know I only wrote, like, a third of that.