Due to a mess up, I lost all I wrote, including the honeymoon bit. I'm sorry, but I think the re-write is shorter and better.
Cinderella's Unenchanted Tale II: What Did They Do?
Hello there. It's Cinderella again. As you remember from last time, even though I was going to live in a VERY nice place and be waited on hand and foot instead of doing that for my stepfamily, I still missed my mistress Tremaine and was not looking forward to having to pretend to love and make love with the prince. I had to get rid of the pesky prince and the king. On my wedding day, while everyone was busy with preparations, I sneaked into the King's office and pretended to be him in a letter to another king of another country. I said I wanted war, and that if he wanted that changed, he would have to let me into his kingdom with my son to talk things over. I sent the letter via the bluebirds, and was sure that after recieving a very angry and confused letter in return, the king would take his son off while I stayed in the palace. In fact, I hoped that the king would order the prince and I to return from our honeymoon early for this important matter of state.
As I stepped out of the carriage to let the fat old man in to join his dim-witted son, I saw the most intrigueing looking woman, who reminded me so much of my Mistress. She was tall, skinny, had a long, narrow face with a big, strong chin, but was more beautiful than my Mistress with her smoother, cuter nose. She also looked strict and aristocratic like my Mistress, dressed in varying shades of gray. I felt embarassed in front of her with the dress I had to wear in its varying shades of puke pink (which was curiously just like the ballgown my fairy godmother made, meaning the royal tailors remembered it extremely well from that one night, too bad they forgot the superior shade of gray it was).
I passed her to witness a sight that was not pretty like her at all: the palace! I either didn't look at it well enough up close in daylight on my wedding day, or they remodeled it - for the worse. The pure white turrets were painted ruddy red, the majestic archways blocked by stained-glass windows, and the grand staircase severely shortened, so it looked like the whole castle moved down a level...or two. And worst of all, the clock was removed from the tower! When I asked the royal decorators about it, they said they thought I hated it because it made me leave at midnight. But I loved that clock, it was beautiful, and it helped me escape the pervert prince! The interior was no better, as I was disgusted by a disgusting portrait of the king, who was also disgusting in real life. And I was dissapointed to find my boy dog and male mice inside, as well. At least I had Mary.
The next day I woke early as usual, but not to the palace clock, but a clock decorated with a golden cock, somewhere in the village. Ugh. I made myself breakfast, but then that wonderful woman I met, Prudence was her pretty name, came in and ordered me to stop doing things for myself! Then she gave me more orders on what to wear and how to act and how to
live! Needless to say, I loved being ordered around again by this hot new chick! Not to mention the hoopskirt I had to wear was like a cage imprisoning me...
Of course I knew what colors were correct and how to make a good feast, but I wanted her to have to tell me how to do everything, and maybe even get some physical contact. "Oops, I thought ecru was the right color. If you hit me when I get something wrong, I'll eventually learn." Prudence was puzzled by that, and she was so bent on doing things her way, she didn't even take up that suggestion. I tried to get her mad by messing up some really dumb things, like curtseying to nobility and spitting on royalty, but she had such control of herself! I thought for sure I would get her to retaliate when she said, "Commoners are never allowed in the palace" and I contradicted her with, "Yes they are! You invited all the eligible maidens in the land to the palace!" But Prudence just ignored it like it never happened. Weird.
And then it all started to annoy me. I had danced expertly at the ball, so it was actually hard to look bad dancing for Prudence, and rather maddening that she really thought I wasn't graceful enough. She said it had to be perfect because it was the king's favorite dance, and I realized this was all for a man! And I also realized I was in a situation almost exactly like the one back at the chateau. An aristocratic woman I had the hots for barking orders with her too unnatractive girls (well, maybe Beatrice had a nice nose) in my own home which I should be the boss of. Then, as they crowded around me with lists of rules, I was reminded of my Mistress' own lists of chores she would give me, not to mention the time she merely watched as her ugly daughters crowded around me to tear the dress off her much lovier stepdaughter. It was like a flash back. I ran up to my room and cried, missing my Mistress. Prudence was just too beautiful like her and too bitchy like her.
Jaq told me not to cry, like I was gonna obey
him now, too, but he had a point. I finally took a good look in the grotesquely framed mirror and found
myself to be grotesque! Well, I was still beautiful, but I looked cartoony, and if I was a cartoon, I would say I was off-model! The palace and the whole landscape got a make-under, I wasn't about to let them get me! I tore off my ugly putrid pink clothes and slipped into an ugly bastardizing blue version of my former rags, because at least it had good design and familarity. I decided I wasn't going to be a slave to love anymore, it made me a slave to Mistress Tremaine and Prudence. I shouldn't have to do anything for any man
or woman.
If this banquet was all for the king, I would ruin it and show him who was boss. I invited country bumpkins, who would dance to country music, and dance horribly at that. I mean butt-shaking would be involved. I decided to give the king his just desserts by making the dessert chocolate instead of his favorite, prunes. When I threw open the curtains, Prudence screamed, "What will the King say?" And I finally told her she didn't have to please a man, there was now a princess in power, and if we worked together we could make the monarchy a matriarchy! She was frightened and stressed, but I put my hand on her to sooth her. And that led to more touching, and I tried to get her to come to my side, or at least bisexuality. "I know this is a big change, but you have to try doing girls my way..."
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In the moments where our mouths weren't busy, we planned how to kill the king. Prudence told me she knew the king to have quite the temper, and he really needed to watch his blood pressure. The king would no doubt be mad from dealing with that foreign king about that letter I sent, so, she thought the royally ruined banquet may send him over the edge and give him a heart attack. But he was mad in both senses of the word. She also said that he seemed insane, crawling over balconys and such, and there were rumours of his poor mental health throughout the kingdom. If he acted unruly enough in response to the blasphemous banquet, all the people there would see him unfit to rule and he could be removed. And if none of that worked, I poisoned the pudding.
Prudence was afraid it wouldn't work, that we would get caught, and said, "I certainly hope you know what you're doing." Well, I knew how to look good for a ball, which she didn't with her weird curled strands of hair that looked like sideburns, but I think she was trying to look more butch because she was going bi. Well, she was the dominant one. But alas, everything backfired. As soon as the king arrived, Daphne spilled the posion pudding on the king. Prudence panicked and went to help the king. She copped out of doing this together and blamed the mess on me. Then the king actually liked the changes, lost his anger, and the worst thing happened: he made Prudence dance with the duke! I was so upset, but then Prudence looked up at me and said "It is the
Princess who deserves your praise, sire, and I am honored to be at her highness'
service." I was curious as to what she meant by that, but it made me smile and I said, "I think we're going to be great friends."
Well, that's one way to put it. We got into bed that night after recieving my tiara to signify my reign over the castle, and the prince (I hid the crown he was supposed to get). I asked Prudence why she betrayed me, and she said that when the plan started to fall apart, she was worried we would be found out. She also had trouble disobeying authority. She told me that if I wanted to, I could punish her. So I gave her some smacks, and since she was honored to be at "her higness' service", she let me put her to my hiney's service. I thanked her for letting me the top this time, and told her I loved her. Dreams do come true.
But after that night, I swear, I
swear,
I could not find Prudence anywhere! It was like she disappeared from the palace! I don't know what happened, but I guess she could have felt embarassed over being with a girl or still guilty over what she did to me. I didn't give up, and kept looking and asking, but I needed pussy so bad I decided to get to know the palace cat, Pom-Pom, who thankfully was a female and actually had a pussy. She was much better than Lucifer. But in a twist, my return to animal turn-ons turned on me as the male mice also came to "help" me with sexual frustration. So, I sicked the cat on them.
When the cat proved to be unsuccessful, and taken away by that damn duke, I got another idea when Jaq was almost stepped on by a fat woman. I invited him to his doom when I told him to meet me at the stables, where I could get the horses to stomp him to death. I walked in and couldn't find him, so I chose the heaviest horse and trotted out to look for him. When I heard him squeak my name from the roof, I pretended not to hear him so he would jump onto the ground to get my attention, and so he wouldn't wonder why I ignored his squeaks of pain when I killed him by hoofs. But he jumped onto the horse itself. Well, I know how to talk to animals, so I whispered in the horse's ear to use his tail to whip the rodent hard and fast to the ground. The horse threw him too far for me to see, and I had a festival to attend to, so I just hoped the little pest landed in his grave.
Unfortunately, my fairy godmother didn't ignore Jaq's cries, and he became human. The ugliest human I've ever seen. He may have become human so he could do me better and he thought I might accept if he was my species, but there was no way. He didn't know I knew who he really was, so I was able to get him to ride yet another horse. This time, I was sure the horse would throw him off or crash him into a tree or do enough damage to render him dead, but he merely crashed into pretty flowers, which he gave to me in another attempt at courtship. I quickly set him up with the fat woman who almost killed him earlier, if he wanted sex so bad.
But I knew that wouldn't hold him, the woman was even less desirable than he was. Since my fairy godmother seemed to be around more, I decided to attract her attention by complaining about Jaq's pursual aloud. In a flurry of white specks, she appeared to ask what was wrong. I could have asked her to make Jaq a mouse again, but he would keep pestering me, so why stop there? Part of my party preparations included a real live elephant for the festival. So I would find a way to get the elephant mad, stomping mad. I asked my fairy godmother to make Jaq a mouse again when he's near enough to the elephant, so Sir Hugh could get under the huge feet and be trampled. The old woman cried, "You're so different now! Your stepmother's spell changed more than time! I knew I should have returned you to your former life!" And then she disappeared. Weird.
At the Spring Festival, I decided to use Jaq's repulsion to the fat woman as an advantage. I made her and him dance the first dance, and when she wanted another one, he ran. I hoped he would run into the elephant. As always my plan didn't work how I expected and he fell on the elephant instead, but it worked for me as it still caused the fat animal to go on a rampage. The fairy godmother positioned Jaq in front of the elephant, very near to it, like I wished for. Then, she changed him to a mouse, like I wished for. But instead of stepping on him, the elephant got scared and stopped. I thought elephants being afraid of mice was only a myth perpetuated by cartoons. Hmmm... Well, at least in the end Mary, my furry female friend, kissed him, so he kissed her, and it looked like he would love her instead of me from now on. "You saved the day!" I told Mary.
After looking all over for Prudence in the castle, I decided to go out looking for her in the village. I wore my serving clothes as a disguise so no one would wonder why the princess was searching for her lesbian lover, and the prince being thick-headed wouldn't recognize me and it was a way to avoid him. But I came upon a sickly sight. My ugly stepsister was gawking at an ugly baker. Even smiling! My stepmother put a stop to it, but I feared Anastasia would go back because of "true love". No woman can truly love a man, but Anastasia might think that. And the fact that she fawned over the prince previously and now this fat loser I could see she was just going after any man and thinking it was love. I couldn't stand obesity, and I couldn't stand heterosexuality, I had to do something. I only set up Jaq with the fat Countess because I knew he was completely turned off by her. But the Baker seemed to love Anastasia back! He even had the same doofus look my doofus prince got for me!
So I told the birds to steal Anastasia's hat and lead her back to the Baker. I told the mice to go into the Baker's shop, and then lead him outside. When the Baker and Anastasia were together, the mice finished the plan by scaring the horse, and a buck was sent to Anastasia that could hit her so hard her face would be messed up if it wasn't already. She crashed into the baked goods and ingredients and looked awful. If the Baker didn't think it was bad, I knew her embarassment would make her think she could never see the Baker or let him see her again.
Ugh, but then she started crying about how she was horrible and beneath the Baker, and contrary to a lot of what I've told you, it's true, I am as kind as I am lovely, and I couldn't stand a girl in pain. So I decided to show her how bad men truly are. I gussied her up, telling her looks are what men really care about, and then told her to meet me at noon in the marketplace where the Baker was. Somewhere in there I saw Lucifer chasing the mice around, and I decided to let him do that. He also started chasing Pom-Pom, my pussy source, but I knew she wouldn't let some man get her. Besides, I was starting to consider Anastasia if I couldn't find Prudence. I mean, I was doing a pretty decent job of making her look decent.
So in the village, I told Anastasia to meet me by the apple cart, I popular hang out for hot girls. I knew the Baker couldn't resist lusting after one, and if he wasn't stupid enough to think those girls who would surly make fun of him actually liked him, Anastasia would be stupid enough to see him with them and think one of them was her replacement. And she
was stupid enough. And the Baker was stupid, too, because he saw her run away but
somehow didn't know where she went. And yet, they
somehow found each other again, but my stepmother came and I decided to hide in the shadows and let her break them up, but then Anastasia actually stood up to herself! She must have gotten my preaching about not listening to
men wrong, because she was not listening to her
mother, who was actually right: the Baker, a man, was beneath her. But no, she ended up going to the ball with her own very ball-like Baker. I pulled her away from him and embraced her saying, "If you want to see, I
can make sure your dreams
do come true."
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And until Anastasia realizes a man can't satisfy like a woman can, I leave her that, which is only open until I find
my true love, Prudence. I don't think she'll be with the commoners, so I decided to use the mice for good for once and asked them to look for her and listen for any conversations about her that I'm not meant to hear. I also considered asking my fairy gomdother just to give me Prudence, but she said she can't bring me someone if she doesn't know where to bring them from. She just doesn't want me to have her, she's just oblivious to what I really want. Uh, maybe I should just come out already! Well, then they'd throw me out of the palace for not having reason to be with the prince. What happened to my dream of two Queens who were going to take over the kingdom? Well, a dream is a wish your heart makes, I'm going to keep dreaming and not give up on finding Prudence. I hope that there aren't some crazy circumstances that prevent anyone from finding her, like the mice are looking in the wrong direction when Prudence appears or no one can see Prudence because she's hidden by that fat lady in waiting...
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i"m glad you liked it 
i can't stand that terrible movie and i denail it (like every sequle) 
I laughed out loud for that, and I don't laugh out loud often! The whole thing was good but that was the best part! Ariel's tuna! Ha! I like how she actually got to be with her beloved and she didn't kill anyone else! But you'd never ever kill Ariel, I know.
what to do?.
