Michael, I hope none of the following sounds like lecturing; I actually give presentations/lectures targeting healthy approaches to weight loss since I'm so passionate about it these days (as you probably know from FB, I've lost nearly 150 pounds while still being a work in progress). I just want you to have every chance to get better! Like I said before, I had diabetes for over ten years without even being diagnosed (no insurance at the time, no money for doctor visits), and my eyes have been permanently damaged because of it. I'm lucky that the damage didn't progress enough to affect my vision, but it definitely will if I let my blood sugar get out of control again.
Are you having any doctors or dietitians working with you on a food plan? Be sure to find out from a medical professional how many grams of sugar you should be allowed daily, and how to properly treat sudden rises or falls in your blood sugar (do you have something to test your blood with?). You also need to know how many calories to have every day. I agree with you that portion control is extremely important. Definitely read all labels to check for sugar content as well as the calories per serving (also pay attention to given serving sizes, they can be deceptive). I'd also suggest avoiding high glycemic foods in general, and be sure to pay attention to carb counts and choose complex carbs (whole grains) over simple ones (white bread, saltine crackers, etc.) whenever possible. This will help stabilize your blood sugar; you don't ever want to spike it, because that's when the damage happens. As a general rule, look for
low-sugar or
low-carb products instead of
low-fat. Be extra skeptical of anything marked
low-fat or
fat-free; more often than not, extra sugar is added to make up for the missing flavor of the lowered fat content. But with that being said, stay away from overly-processed (boxed, canned, ready-made) foods whenever possible; you'll get the most bang for your buck when it comes to calories and overall nutrition when you choose fresh, whole foods most of the time like meat, cheese, veggies, fruits, etc., and when you do things like create your own pizza with fresh ingredients.
Since you liked that restaurant salad, give all sorts of different veggies a try and find what you like best. I make a big,
pretty awesome salad every few days and scoop out a serving to go with most of my meals, and I personally enjoy using spinach, sugar snap peas, cauliflower, broccoli, cucumbers, and even a small amount of fruit like mango, strawberries, blueberries, grapes, and melon to give it a more interesting flavor. It seems a lot of people don't realize this, but salad doesn't have to be just iceberg lettuce, shredded carrots, croutons, a tomato slice, and dressing.

To be completely honest, I often use [real] bacon bits, and I also use grated cheese, and unsalted nuts/seeds, all in small amounts; it's actually good to have a little added fat so your body can better absorb the nutrients in the veggies. Fats in general are healthy in moderation (especially plant-based like avocado and olive oil) as long as you stay away from trans fats and anything deep-fried. Also be sure to try steaming veggies in the microwave or roasting them in the oven with different seasonings, they can turn out quite tasty.
Swimming is one of the best exercises, and staying active will help keep your blood sugar in check.

I actually joined a gym yesterday so I can finally get back in the pool to supplement all the jogging I've been doing. Exercise is an enormous stress reliever. It's low impact so it's easy on the joints, the water is refreshing and buoyant, plus it's a lot of fun. It's a great starting point and I bet you'll have a lot of fun with it too!
Something that has stayed with me all of my life was finding my mother unresponsive one morning. I called 911 and the EMT came out; following the scare and a frightening drive to the hospital we were told she was in a diabetic coma. I knew absolutely nothing about the disease at the time, and apparently my mother didn't either; instead of testing her blood sugar to keep it regulated, she just kept taking the medicine the doctor gave her to lower her blood sugar and put herself right into that coma. No one warned us of any consequence of not checking things properly; while she did wake up that afternoon, her speech was unintelligible for a few days before returning to normal and we could have easily lost her. So gather information, ask questions, do everything you can to find out how to take care of yourself. And if any of it seems overwhelming, don't underestimate the power of baby steps. Set yourself up for success by clearing the junk out of the house and stocking it with healthy groceries, and take everything one day at a time.
I have generalized anxiety disorder that has, at times, advanced into agoraphobia, and I've also been diagnosed with clinical depression. I doubt I'll ever find be completely cured, but eating healthier and becoming active has certainly helped me through issues that have been extremely crippling throughout portions of my life. At times it got so bad that I was unable to drive, walk outside, answer the door, or even answer the phone due to irrational, inescapable fears brought on by my body chemistry and a history of emotional trauma. And at one time I was so heavy that I had trouble walking from one end of the room to the other, in fact I ended up in the hospital a few times because my body simply couldn't handle carrying its own weight. Although we don't have the exact same issues, I'm familiar with the struggle of feeling like my freedom to live life to its fullest was being robbed by my poor health. It's not a good place to be. I'm definitely an emotional stress eater, and on top of my sugar addiction I really had to get a hold of myself a few times after last year's miscarriage. My depression and anxieties were spiraling out of control all over again and it's why my online visits became so sporadic; I really had to slow things down and sort of shut off the outside world in order to focus on getting better.
When I say you can pull through this, it's from a place of compassion and understanding. I think PatrickvD is right on how it would be a good idea to set up a support system through a thread about healthier eating. None of us are judging you; we all wish you well and only want to help. I think you're off to a good start. Remember that everything you eat will effect your body as well as your mind: do everything you can to nurture yourself with healthy choices and you'll be feeling better before you know it.
