Attraction Discussion Series: Maelstrom
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Attraction Discussion Series: Maelstrom
Oh Maelstrom, my Maelstrom, what shall I make of you? You are perhaps the most bizarre oddity in all of Walt Disney World, and for this reason alone you simply fascinate me. Many people board your boats expecting a Viking Pirates of the Caribbean, but get a ride that's so much of a hodgepodge of Norway imagery, one feels like they're trying to remember a night after a hangover at Restaurant Akershus.
I have heard some people call you lame, but to my girlfriend and I you are a cult classic. The main reason why we love you is your sheer "What-the-f***ery." You go from traditional vikings and trolls to polar bears and then down to a whole bunch of oil rigs. The narrative of it seems completely threadbare and you really have no idea of what's happening (What happens to Odin, our narrator, who suddenly just disappears halfway through the ride? I demand you explain how we go from Troll country to oil rig seas!) that it winds up being hilarious in itself.
One of my favorite moments is when you're turning around to go forward down the falls to the oil rigs. There's this really angry looking stump troll who's obviously saying something to the effect that he's really pissed off at you (what ever happened to that narration? It's turned down so low now you can barely even make out what he's saying) while Edvard Grieg's "Morning Mood" is playing, or as we call it "happy morning music." It just cracks me up thinking this obviously pissed off troll is trying to plummet us down the falls to our death while "happy good morning music" plays cheerfully away.
So my dear Maelstrom, I think the best analogy I can come up for you is that it's like traveling through the spirit of Norway in the Twilight Zone - it doesn't really make sense, it seems very surreal, and it's very jarring. So much so to the point that I love you for sheer hilarity.
ALL HAIL NORWAY! The land of trolls and giant painted nurses!
I have heard some people call you lame, but to my girlfriend and I you are a cult classic. The main reason why we love you is your sheer "What-the-f***ery." You go from traditional vikings and trolls to polar bears and then down to a whole bunch of oil rigs. The narrative of it seems completely threadbare and you really have no idea of what's happening (What happens to Odin, our narrator, who suddenly just disappears halfway through the ride? I demand you explain how we go from Troll country to oil rig seas!) that it winds up being hilarious in itself.
One of my favorite moments is when you're turning around to go forward down the falls to the oil rigs. There's this really angry looking stump troll who's obviously saying something to the effect that he's really pissed off at you (what ever happened to that narration? It's turned down so low now you can barely even make out what he's saying) while Edvard Grieg's "Morning Mood" is playing, or as we call it "happy morning music." It just cracks me up thinking this obviously pissed off troll is trying to plummet us down the falls to our death while "happy good morning music" plays cheerfully away.
So my dear Maelstrom, I think the best analogy I can come up for you is that it's like traveling through the spirit of Norway in the Twilight Zone - it doesn't really make sense, it seems very surreal, and it's very jarring. So much so to the point that I love you for sheer hilarity.
ALL HAIL NORWAY! The land of trolls and giant painted nurses!
-Tim


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Oh Maelstrom, the ride that keeps you absolutely trapped if you are too slow to make it to the doors for the movie. Oh Maelstrom, the ride that I thought went backwards over the waterfall my first time riding, and now whenever I ride it, I scream anyway at that part to make the other people in the boat nervous. Oh Maelstrom, located near where I get yummy lefses.

I've read about these before:
http://progresscityusa.com/2009/12/03/r ... f-denmark/
(And this article is also about what the video is:
http://progresscityusa.com/tag/denmark-pavilion/ )
...but it's still funny...about the bathrooms...and things were built around them...
Did they have big to-dos for all of the Pavillions when the opened???
That sounds amazing. It sounds more extreme than the ride is now...not that I don't like the ride now, but wind + waves =the video wrote:A full scale North Sea storm would also be produced, complete with wind, rain, waves, and real lightning
the video wrote:Over the next 2 years, the Pavillion would take shape around the 1982 restroom building.
http://progresscityusa.com/2009/12/03/r ... f-denmark/
(And this article is also about what the video is:
http://progresscityusa.com/tag/denmark-pavilion/ )
...but it's still funny...about the bathrooms...and things were built around them...
Did they have big to-dos for all of the Pavillions when the opened???

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What's up with the "Oh Maelstrom" poetry? Sound retarded.
Anyway, yeah I fucking Maelstrom. the trolls are creepy and badass. It's just a kickass ride.
Only thing missing is having some hot Scandinavian girls dancing around.
Anyway, yeah I fucking Maelstrom. the trolls are creepy and badass. It's just a kickass ride.
Only thing missing is having some hot Scandinavian girls dancing around.
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Oh Maelstrom, I have never heard of you in my entire life. In fact, I didn't even know Epcot had rides. Especially ones where Vikings, and trolls, and Gods co-exist peacefully together. I just thought Epcot was a shrine to a giant golf ball that all people of the Earth had to pay homage to.
The ride really does sound bizarre. Now I'm interested!
Oh, and keep the "Oh Maelstrom". It adds flair!
The ride really does sound bizarre. Now I'm interested!
Oh, and keep the "Oh Maelstrom". It adds flair!
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Wow... You must love that ride a whole heck of a lot, hey, Super Aurora?Super Aurora wrote: Anyway, yeah I fucking Maelstrom.
Anyway... The first time I rode it, I was with my cousin and grandma. And when we thought we were going to fall out of the back, my grandma started freaking out, and my cousin and I were holding on to each other and bidding tearful farewells... It was really intense. But then we couldn't stop laughing when we learned we had been tricked.
And then the next time we rode it, my little brother was with us, and he was like 3. My mom and my aunt were, too, and they had never been on it. So, while going up the hill at the beginning, they assumed there would be a massive drop. So my aunt was all like "OMG! OMG!" and my mom was screaming "Hold on to your brother! OMG, hold on to him!!!!" But then we just sort of dipped into the water, the rest of us laughed at them, and they felt like total idiots.
But one of the most embarrasing things ever happened to me on that ride. We were getting off, and my cousin (not the one from the first story, another one) left her purse on the boat. It was going away, and she was like "Oh NO!!!" So I lept back into the boat, grabbed her purse, and managed to jump back out before getting to far away. And then the lady dressed in the Scandinavian outfit was all like "WTF is wrong with you!? You could have been hurt! NEVER do that!" And my family (except my cousin, who was very happy) seemed pretty mad at my stupidity, and I just wanted to be invisible.
So....
Oh Maelstrom, place of embarassment and hilarity!
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Oh come on, I'm friends with Tim even. I just thought, when trying to read it, seem redundant. He'll laugh though. That's type of guy he is.blackcauldron85 wrote:LEAVE TIM ALONE!
It's actually is. You see when you go into the ride, make sure you find Tiger Woods and his female harem in the ride. It's an awesome site to see.UmbrellaFish wrote: I just thought Epcot was a shrine to a giant golf ball that all people of the Earth had to pay homage to.
UmbrellaFish wrote:Oh, and keep the "Oh Maelstrom". It adds flair!

Wow...I didn't notice that. Must missed that before clicking the submit button. Ah the hell with it. I'll leave it in. It'll make the statement that much more awesome.Margos wrote:Wow... You must love that ride a whole heck of a lot, hey, Super Aurora?Super Aurora wrote: Anyway, yeah I fucking Maelstrom.![]()
Y'know what would be an awesome renovation for this ride? Adding internet trolls in with the Norwegian trolls.
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Well, it's not that awesome, as the ride is mostly a lot of trolls. I'm not sure how much fun that would be. Now maybe if they took your suggestion concerning the dancing Scandinavian girls... Then it would be much more pleasant.Super Aurora wrote:]
Wow...I didn't notice that. Must missed that before clicking the submit button. Ah the hell with it. I'll leave it in. It'll make the statement that much more awesome.Margos wrote: Wow... You must love that ride a whole heck of a lot, hey, Super Aurora?![]()
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What are you smoking? Of course trolls are awesome.Margos wrote: Well, it's not that awesome, as the ride is mostly a lot of trolls. I'm not sure how much fun that would be.
Actually it would make the experience more awesome than it already isMargos wrote:Now maybe if they took your suggestion concerning the dancing Scandinavian girls... Then it would be much more pleasant.![]()
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Is someone keeping a tally count here of who i meme'd? And wtf does WIST stand for?UmbrellaFish wrote:So I've been Super Aurora meme'd and WIST'd all in one year? Making some progress!
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But... not necessarily for... wait... maybe you need to look at what your typo looked like again!Super Aurora wrote:What are you smoking? Of course trolls are awesome.
No arguements there.Super Aurora wrote: Actually it would make the experience more awesome than it already is
"Wish I'd Said That."Super Aurora wrote: Is someone keeping a tally count here of who i meme'd? And wtf does WIST stand for?
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Oh Maelstrom, even on an online forum you're strange and confusing.
I had no idea what I was in for in 1991 and was under the belief that there must be something wrong with the ride if we could see boats sticking out of the ride and nearly falling, only to pull themselves back in again. I remember the line being obscenely long because to a six year old, twenty minutes might as well be an entire day.
I always loved the post-attraction video. That kid in the museum and then the storm and everything. For the past four years, nobody ever wanted to sit down with me to watch it. It was easier to just skip it and move on to the next pavilion.
albert
I had no idea what I was in for in 1991 and was under the belief that there must be something wrong with the ride if we could see boats sticking out of the ride and nearly falling, only to pull themselves back in again. I remember the line being obscenely long because to a six year old, twenty minutes might as well be an entire day.
I always loved the post-attraction video. That kid in the museum and then the storm and everything. For the past four years, nobody ever wanted to sit down with me to watch it. It was easier to just skip it and move on to the next pavilion.
albert
WIST #60:
AwallaceUNC: Would you prefer Substi-Blu-tiary Locomotion?
WIST #61:
TheSequelOfDisney: Damn, did Lin-Manuel Miranda go and murder all your families?
AwallaceUNC: Would you prefer Substi-Blu-tiary Locomotion?
WIST #61:
TheSequelOfDisney: Damn, did Lin-Manuel Miranda go and murder all your families?
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Just a friendly reminder, when you do a thread like this (and mention it's part of the series), be sure and include the other things in the series:
<b>The Disney Attractions Discussion Series
Part One - <a href="http://www.ultimatedisney.com/forum/vie ... php?t=6648" target="_blank">Space Mountain</a>
Part Two - <a href="http://www.ultimatedisney.com/forum/vie ... php?t=6699" target="_blank">Peter Pan's Flight</a>
Part Three - <a href="http://www.ultimatedisney.com/forum/vie ... php?t=6739" target="_blank">Pirates of the Caribbean</a>
Part Four - <a href="http://www.ultimatedisney.com/forum/vie ... php?t=6774" target="_blank">Tom Sawyer's Island</a>
Part Five - <a href="http://www.ultimatedisney.com/forum/vie ... php?t=6828" target="_blank">It's A Small World</a>
Part Six - <a href="http://www.ultimatedisney.com/forum/vie ... php?t=6903" target="_blank">Star Tours</a>
Part Seven - <a href="http://www.ultimatedisney.com/forum/vie ... php?t=7004" target="_blank">Splash Mountain</a>
Part Eight - <a href="http://www.ultimatedisney.com/forum/vie ... php?t=7183" target="_blank">Mr Toad's Wild Ride</a>
Part Nine - <a href="http://www.ultimatedisney.com/forum/vie ... php?t=7388" target="_blank">The Haunted Mansion</a>
Part Ten - <a href="http://www.ultimatedisney.com/forum/vie ... hp?t=14225" target="_blank">Soarin'</a>
Part Eleven - <a href="http://www.ultimatedisney.com/forum/vie ... p?p=226391" target="_blank">The Twilight Zone Tower of Terror</a>
Part Twelve - <a href="http://www.dvdizzy.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=14272" target="_blank">Big Thunder Mountain Railroad</a>
Part Thirteen - <a href="http://www.dvdizzy.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=26687" target="_blank"> Mad Tea Party</a>
Part Fourteen - Maelstrom</b>
Back in the day, Maelstrom seemed a bit intense, now it seems a bit less than so, for some reason.
<b>The Disney Attractions Discussion Series
Part One - <a href="http://www.ultimatedisney.com/forum/vie ... php?t=6648" target="_blank">Space Mountain</a>
Part Two - <a href="http://www.ultimatedisney.com/forum/vie ... php?t=6699" target="_blank">Peter Pan's Flight</a>
Part Three - <a href="http://www.ultimatedisney.com/forum/vie ... php?t=6739" target="_blank">Pirates of the Caribbean</a>
Part Four - <a href="http://www.ultimatedisney.com/forum/vie ... php?t=6774" target="_blank">Tom Sawyer's Island</a>
Part Five - <a href="http://www.ultimatedisney.com/forum/vie ... php?t=6828" target="_blank">It's A Small World</a>
Part Six - <a href="http://www.ultimatedisney.com/forum/vie ... php?t=6903" target="_blank">Star Tours</a>
Part Seven - <a href="http://www.ultimatedisney.com/forum/vie ... php?t=7004" target="_blank">Splash Mountain</a>
Part Eight - <a href="http://www.ultimatedisney.com/forum/vie ... php?t=7183" target="_blank">Mr Toad's Wild Ride</a>
Part Nine - <a href="http://www.ultimatedisney.com/forum/vie ... php?t=7388" target="_blank">The Haunted Mansion</a>
Part Ten - <a href="http://www.ultimatedisney.com/forum/vie ... hp?t=14225" target="_blank">Soarin'</a>
Part Eleven - <a href="http://www.ultimatedisney.com/forum/vie ... p?p=226391" target="_blank">The Twilight Zone Tower of Terror</a>
Part Twelve - <a href="http://www.dvdizzy.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=14272" target="_blank">Big Thunder Mountain Railroad</a>
Part Thirteen - <a href="http://www.dvdizzy.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=26687" target="_blank"> Mad Tea Party</a>
Part Fourteen - Maelstrom</b>
Back in the day, Maelstrom seemed a bit intense, now it seems a bit less than so, for some reason.
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Seeing the boat like that used to scare me when i was little!Escapay wrote:Oh Maelstrom, even on an online forum you're strange and confusing.
I had no idea what I was in for in 1991 and was under the belief that there must be something wrong with the ride if we could see boats sticking out of the ride and nearly falling, only to pull themselves back in again. I remember the line being obscenely long because to a six year old, twenty minutes might as well be an entire day.
I always loved the post-attraction video. That kid in the museum and then the storm and everything. For the past four years, nobody ever wanted to sit down with me to watch it. It was easier to just skip it and move on to the next pavilion.
albert
But yeah, i feel bad for that video..
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Maelstrom is one of those things I remember being terrified of as a kid and, then, nothing. Now I am more terrified of the people painted on the wall at the queue. Still, pretty much a great ride.
As someone, however, who comes from a family bursting Scandinavian pride, I'm not sure how much the ride embodies the Norwegian spirit.
Oh fer fun, dontchya know!
As someone, however, who comes from a family bursting Scandinavian pride, I'm not sure how much the ride embodies the Norwegian spirit.
Oh fer fun, dontchya know!
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I wonder if Rose Nylund ever rode it.pinkrenata wrote:As someone, however, who comes from a family bursting Scandinavian pride, I'm not sure how much the ride embodies the Norwegian spirit.
albert
WIST #60:
AwallaceUNC: Would you prefer Substi-Blu-tiary Locomotion?
WIST #61:
TheSequelOfDisney: Damn, did Lin-Manuel Miranda go and murder all your families?
AwallaceUNC: Would you prefer Substi-Blu-tiary Locomotion?
WIST #61:
TheSequelOfDisney: Damn, did Lin-Manuel Miranda go and murder all your families?
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Of course Rose rode it! She even asked if they would add in her St Olaf Woman of the Year chocolate trophy but sadly they told her it would melt in the Florida heat lol!
As a child my parents always skipped right over the entire area and I didn't even know they had an attraction there until I was a teenager so once I found out I made them go on it and we loved it. I still visit it today and my children loved the troll part we always go on back to back so they can hear "this is troll country" lol.
As a child my parents always skipped right over the entire area and I didn't even know they had an attraction there until I was a teenager so once I found out I made them go on it and we loved it. I still visit it today and my children loved the troll part we always go on back to back so they can hear "this is troll country" lol.


