Favorite Movie Quotes

[Jack]

Post Your's Here!

~

"I will be watching you and if I find that you are trying to corrupt my first born child, I will bring you down, baby. I will bring you down to Chinatown!" - Jack Byrnes (Robert DeNiro), Meet the Parents

"I will bitch-slap you back to Africa!" - Detective Lee (Jackie Chan), Rush Hour 2

"Sir, can I trouble you for a glass of warm milk? It helps me go to sleep." - Grandma (Frances Bay)
"You can trouble me for a warm glass of shut-the-hell-up! Now, you will go to sleep or I will put you to sleep. Check out the name tag. You're in my world now, grandma." - Nursing Home Caretaker (Ben Stiller), Happy Gilmore

"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it." - Ferris Bueller (Matthew Broderick), Ferris Bueller's Day Off

"No . . . I am your father." - Darth Vader (James Earl Jones), The Empire Strikes Back

"Between grief and nothing... I'll take grief." - Edward Rooney (Jeffrey Jones), Ferris Bueller's Day Off

"Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul." - Principal (James Downey), Billy Madison

"Where I'm going, you can't follow. What I've got to do, you can't be any part of. Ilsa, I'm no good at being noble, but it doesn't take much to see that the problems of three little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world. Someday you'll understand that. Now, now... Here's looking at you kid." - Rick Blaine (Humphrey Bogart), Casablanca

[Disney Guru]

Movie Quotes

"We no need no stinkin badges" Banditos From Treasure Of Sierra Madre



"Not a travel add not a motion picture in magnificent technicolor this is the real thing" Jane Wyman as Katie Willard In Walt Disney's 1962 Masterpice Bon Voyage!

"I am not going to start eating milk toast now" Fred MacMurray as Lem Siddons in Walt Disney's Follow Me Boys"

[Loomis]

I have a whole raft of them, but now my mind is blank....

"What's a nubian?" - Banky (Jason Lee), Chasing Amy

"Get your paws off me you damn dirty ape!" - If have to tell yo, you don't deserve to know.

"I smote his ruin upon the mountain side" - Gandalf (Ian McKellan), The Two Towers

"Are you gonna bark all day, little doggie, or are you going bite?" - Mr Blonde (Michael Madsen), Reservoir Dogs

"Clearly, you've never been to Singapore" - Capt. Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp), Pirates of the Caribbean

Ok, this one isn't from a film, but from a TV series ("League of Gentlemen"). I just love it at the moment
"Whattaabout Dat Darn Cat?" - Oshii, Ep. 6, Season 3 (hopefully a few people will get that)

Also, from the same series "Ok, can I talk to Dave?"

Oh! I almost forgot the most important ones:
"Cute and fluffy!!!" - Stitch, Lilo & Stitch

"This is my family. I found it, all on my own. It's little, and broken,
but still good. Yeah, still good." - same source as above


I'll add more when I think of them...

[Loomis]

I forgot the Woody Allen quotes!

"Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone you
love." (Annie Hall)

"The food in this place is really terrible. Yes, and such small portions. That's essentially how I feel about life." (Annie Hall)"

"And if it turns out that there is a God, I don't believe that he is evil. The worst that can be said is that he's an underachiever." (Love and Death...one of my favourite movies)

"I've heard that Commentary and Dissent merged and formed Dysentery" (Annie Hall)

"But she was so sweet and we just walked in the park and I was so touched by her that, after fifteen minutes, I wanted to marry her and, after half an hour, I completely gave up the idea of snatching her purse. " (Take the Money & Run)

"You must never kill a man, especially if it means taking his life. " (Love & Death)

"To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition. " (Stardust Memory)

[STASHONE]

I can quote every Doc Holliday line from Tombstone...

:}

[2099net]

Ok, this one isn't from a film, but from a TV series ("League of Gentlemen"). I just love it at the moment
"Whattaabout Dat Darn Cat?" - Oshii, Ep. 6, Season 3 (hopefully a few people will get that)

Noone can resist Oshi, so here's the full scene from the League of Gentlemen script book (which includes some dialogue not on the television, and a little somewhat obvious editing by me to remove the swearing, and a few Disney references).

Kenny: Shelly, Shelly. Come here and settle this. Tell our new projectionist which is the best dog cartoon.
Oshi: I say ‘Fox and Hound’.
Kenny laughs despairingly
Kenny: ‘Fox and the Hound’. Tell him Shelly.
Shelly: (a little wearily) ‘All Dogs go to Heaven’
Kenny: Thank you. ‘All Dogs go to Heaven’. Don Bluth 1989. I think you’ll find it pisses all over your ‘Fox and the flicking Hound’
Oshi: But ‘Fox and Hound’ is good film.
Kenny: It’s alright. But ‘All Dogs’ is a different kettle of oysters, old son. Charlie Barkin was voiced by Burt Reynolds. Who can you offer me? Mickey Bloody Rooney. I rest my case.
Oshi looks down at the floor
Kenny: You see Oshi, there’s nothing you can tell me about dog films. Diddly squat. When I started this place, people said to me “Kenny, you’re mad. A dog cinema? You’ll never sustain an audience. Where’s the variety?” Variety? I’ll give them flicking variety? Just off the top of my head; ‘Look Who’s Talking Now’, ‘Turner and Hooch’, ‘Zoltan: Hound of Dracula’. Put that on a triple bill and you’ll entertain any crowd aged eight to eighty. And that’s just three films. Tell him Shelly. Tell him how many people we had in last night.
Shelly: Thirty-seven.
Kenny: Thirty-seven. Double bill – ‘The Shaggy Dog” and “The Shaggy DA”. I saw lads with shaved heads pissing themselves with laughter.
Shelly: Boss –
Kenny: 1976 and still as fresh as a daisy.
Shelly: I’ve got some news –
Kenny: Don’t tell me Dave Garside’s let me down on Cujo?
Shelly shakes his head.
Kenny: Good, because I’ve got a party of goths coming over from Leeds.
Shelly: It’s Dougal Siepp.
Suddenly Kenny tenses.
Kenny: What?
Shelly: He’s back.

Fade to next scene...

Kenny: I was a bloody fool. But I gave into him. I know it was wrong. Cat films are shit. Everybody knows it. Have you tried sitting through ‘The Cat from Outer Space’? It’s pitiful.
Oshi: Whataabout ‘That Darn Cat?’
Kenny: Watchable, Oshi, but nothing more. It’s the exception that proves the rule. There’s not the variety in cats. But Siepp was a stubborn sod. He wouldn’t give way. And then the rot began to spread. Films with tenuous links. He tried to convince me to put on ‘Pet Semetery’ all because of the zombie cat. I said “Dougal, we’ve got a rule – ‘the animal’s the star’.” I could see what he was trying to do. Edge us towards being a normal cinema that would show anything. But what does it say above the door Shelly?
Shelly: Dog Cinema.
Kenny: Thank you. Dog Cinema. Tell him. Tell Oshi what was the final straw.
Shelly: Mr Harris was in hospital –
Kenny: I was in hospital with bowel cancer. Thank God they caught it early. I came out after three weeks. What was showing Shelly? In my Dog Cinema?
Shelly: ‘Rock-A-Doodle’
Kenny: ‘Rock-A-Flicking-Doodle’. I went apeshit. “Dougal,” I said “how do you explain it?” “Kenny” he says, “the boy turns into a cat called Edgar”, as if that made it alright. I screamed at him – “Dougal Siepp, that movie's about a flicking chicken who sings. You knew what was behind this venture. Dogs. Now clear your desk and take your Garfield from the window and get out of my sight”.

[DDMAN26]

"What we do in life echoes in eternity."-Maximus(Gladiator)

[STASHONE]

No quote thread could be complete without the Jack Handy.

-----------------------------------

I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not our children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex


Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, 'It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than to be selfish and worry about my liver.'


I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it.


Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what if I was an ant, and she fell on me. Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny.


Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you'll be a mile from them, and you'll have their shoes.


I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it.


To me, it's a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, "Hey, can you give me a hand?" You can say, "Sorry, got these sacks."


Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's carrying a beautiful rose in his beak, and also he's carrying a very beautiful painting with his feet. And also, you're drunk.


If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let'em go, because, man, they're gone.


If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid seeing yourself in the mirror, because I bet that's what REALLY throws you into a panic.


To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography and the dancers hit each other.


Probably the earliest fly swatters were nothing more than some sort of striking surface attached to the end of a long stick.


I wish I would have a real tragic love affair and get so bummed out that I'd just quit my job and become a bum for a few years, because I was thinking about doing that anyway.


Maybe in order to understand mankind we have to look at that word itself. MANKIND. Basically, it's made up of two separate words "mank"and "ind." What do these words mean? It's a mystery and that's why so is mankind.


If you go flying back through time and you see somebody else flying forward into the future, it's probably best to avoid eye contact.


It's easy to sit there and say you'd like to have more money. And I guess that's what I like about it. It's easy. Just sitting there, rocking back and forth, wanting that money.


Whenever you read a good book, it's like the author is right there, in the room talking to you, which is why I don't like to read good books.


If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.


Instead of a trap door, what about a trap window? The guy looks out it, and if he leans too far, he falls out. Wait. I guess that's like a regular window.


If I ever get real rich, I hope I'm not real mean to poor people, like now.


The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.


Sometimes I think you have to march right in and demand your rights, even if you don't know what your rights are, or who the person is you're talking to. Then on the way out, slam the door.


If you're a cowboy and you're dragging a guy behind your horse, I bet it would really make you mad if you looked back and the guy was reading a magazine.


One thing vampire children have to be taught early on is, don't run with wooden stakes.


Consider the daffodil. And while you're doing that, I'll be over here, looking through your stuff.


Sometimes you have to be careful when selecting a new name for yourself. For instance, let's say you have chosen the nickname "Fly Head." Normally you would think that "Fly Head" would mean a person who has beautiful swept-back features, as if flying through the air. But think again. Couldn't it also mean "having a head like a fly"? I'm afraid some people might actually think that.


I think a good product would be "Baby Duck Hat." It's a fake baby duck, which you strap on top of your head. Then you go swimming underwater until you find a mommy duck and her babies, and you join them. Then all of the sudden, you stand up out of the water and roar like Godzilla. Man those ducks really take off! Also Baby Duck Hat is good for parties.


If you ever reach total enlightenment while you're drinking a beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.


As the light changed from red to green to yellow and back to red again, I sat there thinking about life. Was it nothing more than a bunch of honking and yelling? Sometimes it seemed that way.


Somebody told me how frightening it was how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around the campfire and nobody got scared.

Sometimes I think I'd just be better off dead. No wait a minute, I mean you.

[Jack]

^ ^ ^

I love Jack Handy. Of course, this is a movie quotes thread, but what the hay.

Here's a few more from "Deep Thoughts"

I think there should be Baby traps . . . Not to harm the little babies - just to hold them down until they can be removed.

You know whats good to keep the mosquitos occupied while you and your friends are relaxing on the porch in the summer time? Just a big bag of blood.

~

Some more movie quotes:

(After Deathstrike unveils her finger claws) "Holy sh*t!" - Wolverene (Hugh Jackman), X2: X-Men United

"I don't mind if you don't like my manners. I don't like them myself. They're pretty bad. I grieve over them on long winter evenings. I don't mind your ritzing me drinking your lunch out of a bottle. But don't waste your time trying to cross-examine me." - Philip Marlowe (Humphrey Bogart), The Big Sleep

Samir: "No one in this country can ever pronounce my name right. It's not that hard: Samir Na-gheen-an-a-jar. Nagheenanajar."
Micheal: "Yeah, well at least your name isn't Michael Bolton."
Samir: "You know there's nothing wrong with that name."
Micheal: "There was nothing wrong with it... until that no-talent ass clown became famous and started winning Grammys."
Samir: "Hmm... well why don't you just go by Mike instead of Michael?"
Micheal: "No way. Why should I change? He's the one who sucks."
- Office Space

"Uh-uh, Mother-m-mother, uh, what is the phrase? She isn't quite herself today."
"Hate the smell of dampness, don't you? It's such a, I don't know, creepy smell."
"You know what I think? I think that we're all in our private traps, clamped in them, and none of us can ever get out. We scratch and we claw, but only at the air, only at each other, and for all of it, we never budge an inch."
"They're probably watching me right now. Well, let them. Let them see what kind of a person I am. I'm not even going to swat that fly. I hope they *are* watching. They'll see. They'll see and they'll know, and they'll say, 'Why, she wouldn't even harm a fly . . .'"
- Norman Bates (Anthony Perkins), Psycho

(After being hit) "Ow, what did you do that for?" - Simba
"It doesn't matter, it's in the past!" - Rafiki, The Lion King

[jambo*rafiki]

(After being hit) "Ow, what did you do that for?" - Simba
"It doesn't matter, it's in the past!" - Rafiki, The Lion King

the BEST!!! Thank you! Besides that, I'd have to say:

Barbossa: "Thank you, Jack."
Jack Sparrow: "You're welcome."
Barbossa: "Not you. We named the monkey Jack."

Jack: "Don't do anything stupid."

Jack: "Not sure I deserved that."

(He had too many to list here, so I'm sticking with those)
-Pirates of the Caribbean

Miracle Max (Billy Crystal): "Yeah, true love's the greatest thing in the world. Except for a nice MLT, mutton, lettuce, and tomato sandwich."

Inigo: "My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."
-The Princess Bride

Joon: "Raisins are just humiliated grapes."
-Benny and Joon

Tigger: "I'm Tigger - T-I-double-G-Errrr . . .
-Winnie the Pooh

Woody Allen: "Why are you wearing your head lamp on backwards?"
Other guy: "It looks cooler that way!"
-Small Time Crooks

Cameron: "Hello, this is Geoge Peterson."
-Ferris Bueller's Day Off

That's all for now!

[Jack]

The 2 best quotes from the Pirates IMO:

"But why's the rum gone?"

and the most hilarious . . .

(after Elizabeth claims her place next to Will) "Elizabeth . . . It never would have worked out between us. I'm sorry darling." - Jack Sparrow

[Luke]

"Let's see if these bastards can do 90!"

[snowhite8]

"FAG - Ah - Beee------Beee Fee! Fagabeefe!" - Midnight Madness

[Loomis]

"Let's see if these bastards can do 90!"

I think we've played this game before, Luke?

"Last night, Darth Vader came down from planet Vulcan and told me that if I didn't take Lorraine out that he'd melt my brain."

[The Lizard King]

Frank: What kind of beer you drink, neighbor?
Jeffrey: Heineken
Frank: Heineken?!? F*ck that sh*t! Pabst Blue Ribbon!

TLK

[Maerj]

Frank: What kind of beer you drink, neighbor?
Jeffrey: Heineken
Frank: Heineken?!? F*ck that sh*t! Pabst Blue Ribbon!

TLK

Ah, one of my all time favorite films!

Frank: So, do you want to go with us?

Jeffery: No.

Frank: No? Why not?

Jeffery: Because I don't want to go.

Frank: Go where?

Jeffery: For a ride.

Frank: A ride? What a great idea! Raymond! (Raymond threatens Jeffery with switchblade)

[pinkrenata]

From Moulin Rouge, a close, personal favorite:

"He has a huuuge ... talent!"

"Ooh, I love a little poetry after supper!"

"Don't worry, Shakespeare, you'll get you endin'! Once the Duke gets his -- end -- in."

Oops, those are a tad on the filthy order, huh? Oh well.

[The Lizard King]

John Candy's character in The Blues Brothers:

"Who wants an orange whip? Orange whip? Orange whip? Three orange whips."

TLK

[Mushu2083]

Let's see, here's some my favorites

"Don't you EVER touch a Chinese man's CD!"- Jackie Chan in Rush Hour 2

"I liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive! If anyone dares to mess with the Fa family, vengeance will be mne!"- Mushu from Mulan

"Oh good! My dog found the chainsaw!"- Lilo from Lilo & Stitch

"I finished it." "You mean you read 11 books?" "I mean I read the list"- Ethan Craft and Miss Ungermeyer in the Lizzie McGuire movie.

I have many more but I'd be typing all day.

[Leonia]

"Thank you for not shooting me."
--Bowling for Columbine

(okay, BFC is more documentary than film. But it's the most frequently watched DVD I own.)