Lazario! That was absolutely...ahem...gory!!! Let's say your post qualifies for "The Stomach Churning Thread". LOL!
Anyway, thanks for participating.
Here comes my input:
Lewis Carrot and the Killer Carrot
Once upon a time, on a bright sunny morning, Lewis woke up to hear some unusual noises in his otherwise boring vegetable patch. Grabbing his dressing gown, he exited his house and went to inspect his only means of nutrition; the growing carrots in his garden.
At first glance, everything seemed to be perfectly normal. However, close observation of the soil proved that there were fine orange hairs sticking out in between the soil particles.
"Oh! How lovely!" shouted Lewis "My food colouring has finally caused the soil to mutate into a veggie monster!"
Here, I feel I owe you an explanation. Mr. Carrot was a completely blind and dotty former dermatologist who had recently suffered the so-called corruption of the forebrain, the degeneration of the hypothalamus, and the disintegration of his CNS (Central Nervous System). He was an escapee of the local asylum, and had been on the run for approximately 3 days. On the first day he had put orange food colouring along with carrots in his vegetable patch, and this was the result.
The hairs in the soil started to quiver, and suddenly, a carrot monster erupted from the ground, much to the delight of Mr. Carrot. The monster focused on our rather unfortunate
Homo sapien* and in an instant gobbled him up.
Mr. Carrot was ingested into the stomach, and there he was soaked in HCL (Hydrochloric Acid Ph 1) and in Pepsin, until he was broken down into polypeptide chains (made up of proteins). His substances then passed into the duodenum were they were treated with bile juice (from the liver), pancreatic juice and intestinal juice, in all containing the enzymes amylase, lipase, trypsin, maltase and peptidases.
Anyway, to cut a long story short, Mr. Carrot was murdered. His killer carrot would later terrify the neighbourhood, until a kind hearted old lady decided to tame it. The killer carrot then became very sociable, and would even go to fetch a stick if you threw it one.
The old lady christened the genetically modified carrot "Max".
And they lived happily ever after.
*Latin. Genus and species of human being.
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