What Disney Characters Will Never Say

[Big Disney Fan]

Walt's dedication of Disneyland:

"To all that come to this happy place: welcome. Disneyland is your land. Here age relives fond memories of the past, and here youth may savor the challenge and promise of the future. Disneyland is dedicated to the ideals, the dreams, and the hard facts that have created America... with hope that you will consider every penny spent here an investment in joy for the world."

[ajmrowland]

^Ok, did you really make that up, or is that supposed to be put into the mouths of the execs?

[Big Disney Fan]

^Ok, did you really make that up, or is that supposed to be put into the mouths of the execs?

Neither, actually. It actually came from DisneyLies.com, which is also where I got the revised lyrics for "Yo Ho (A Pirate's Life For Me)".

[ajmrowland]

Ah.

[Big Disney Fan]

BELLE: Beast, I love you, but... my heart belongs to Gaston.

[schoollover]

Pocahontas- Who cares about nature, I nned land for a hotel and resort, any way where is meeko, i really want a new fur collar and lining for my boots.

Esmeralda- I only talk to peo;le who are rich,cold hearted and goodlooking,so go away quasimodo, or ill call the poilice cause I can't fight.

Jasmine- I am so happy my father is going to marry me off. I can't wait to be able to sit around the house and have children, while my husband does all the work and cheats on me, i'm so excited.

Is this how we do it, because I think I got it.

[Big Disney Fan]

This should've been mentioned on the 15th of April, but...

PRINCE JOHN: (to the people of Nottingham) Now hear this...

---

CHARACTERS: Boy, do I feel hot in here! (characters; you know what characters I'm speaking about!)

[Big Disney Fan]

When Huey, Dewey and Louie do something to upset Donald Duck, here's what his temper tirade translates to:

DONALD: Now boys, I appreciate your creativity, but let’s see if we can work out any disagreement in a calm, focused, non-violent (and unfunny) way…

---

MICKEY: I love you, Daisy! Marry me!

DONALD: I love you, Minnie! Marry me!

[JiminyCrick91]

MICKEY: I love you, Daisy! Marry me!

DONALD: I love you, Minnie! Marry me!

I think they did a Midsummer Night's Dream cartoon for MouseWorks or House of Mouse so..... under a spell it's not really a never.

-Sky

[Big Disney Fan]

MICKEY: I love you, Daisy! Marry me!

DONALD: I love you, Minnie! Marry me!

I think they did a Midsummer Night's Dream cartoon for MouseWorks or House of Mouse so..... under a spell it's not really a never.

-Sky

That's right. I do remember seeing something like that. But that's something that would only happen in a dream (in this case, Mickey dreamed it); it would never occur in reality.

[ajmrowland]

Sora: Kairi, as much as I love you, my heart belongs to Riku.

[Big Disney Fan]

EVIL QUEEN:
Magic Mirror on the wall,
Who's the fairest one of all?

MAGIC MIRROR:
Snow White, Snow White, Snow White --
I've told you a million times tonight.

QUEEN:
Magic Mirror on the wall,
What would happen if I let you fall?
You'd shatter to bits with a clang and a crash,
Your glass would be splintered - swept out with the trash,
Your frame would be bent, lying here on the floor --

MIRROR:
Hey, go ahead, ask me just once more.

QUEEN:
Magic Mirror on the wall,
Who's the fairest one of all?

MIRROR:
You - you - It's true,
The fairest of all is you - you - you.
(Whew!)

[Escapay]

To give credit where credit's due, there are a few changes (example: "Mirror Mirror" is now "Magic Mirror"), but this is a poem by Shel Silverstein, from his poetry book Falling Up.

albert

[Big Disney Fan]

To give credit where credit's due, there are a few changes (example: "Mirror Mirror" is now "Magic Mirror"), but this is a poem by Shel Silverstein, from his poetry book Falling Up.

albert

Yes, I know where it came from. That's why I added it in. I felt it fit like a glove.

[Flanger-Hanger]

Warning: Post Contains Language

inside Rabbit's house

Rabbit: *stoned* Pooh? Is that you man?

Pooh walks in

Pooh: Ya it's me I was just wondering could I have some...oh great.

Rabbit: What?

Pooh: You high again?

Rabbit: Ya, so?

Pooh: So? Rabbit this is what like the 5th time this week!

Rabbit: At least that's not daily.

Pooh: Oh ya, that's just something really to be fucking proud of. I thought you were going to quit!

Rabbit: Hey...man..I can quit anytime I want to.

Pooh: Ya? Prove it!

Rabbit: I just don't feel like it.

Pooh: It's because you can't you fucking college drop out!

Rabbit: Jew.

Pooh: What does that even mean?!

Tigger enters

Tigger: Hey dudes, I thought I left my...oh sweet Rab got more pot!

Pooh: Tigger!

Tigger: What? If Rabs has some I can to you know.

Pooh: You're not helping!

Tigger: Look, they guy obviously needs less of the stuff and I'm here to help by taking some of it away form him.

Pooh: OK, you know what? You can both get high and kill yourselves for all I care, just don't come crawling to me when the fucking drug dealer shoots ya or something.

Tigger: (clearly not paying attention while talking to Rabbit) Hay man, I was walkin' by this window and this chick was like undressing and stuff...

Rabbit ?(laughing) You horny fuck!

Tigger: Hey, shut up man! Anyway...

door knock

Christopher Robin: (outside) Pooh, Tigger, Rabbit, are you there!

Tigger: Oh shit it's the Chris!

a mad scramble takes place as the trio inside hurries to change attitude and appearance, Rabbit stashes the pot under a chair as Christopher walks in

Christopher: Hello everyone, are you ready for play outside!

Tigger: (his "usual" self) Oh boy are you ready for some bouncin' Christopher Robin! (laughs)

Pooh: (doltish as always) I could do with some honey first, is it brunchfast yet? (laughs)

Rabbit: (fretting) I'd love to Christopher, but I do feel my vegetables need tending too. That is if a certain Tigger doesn't feel like ruining my garden again!

Christopher: I'm sure he won't Rabbit. Come Tigger and Pooh, lets play outside!

[Big Disney Fan]

Why does that look like something they do on "Robot Chicken"?

[Big Disney Fan]

Other Disneyland land dedications:

Main Street USA:

Main Street, U.S.A. is America at the turn of the century, the crossroads of an era. The gas lamps and the electric lamp, the horse-drawn car and auto car, the family owned store and global chain. Main Street is everyone's home town, the heart line of American business.

Adventureland:

Here is adventure. Here is romance. Here is mystery. Tropical rivers, silently flowing into the unknown. The unbelievable splendor of exotic flowers, the eerie sound of the jungle, the possibility of being eaten alive. This is Adventureland.

Frontierland:

Here we experience the story of our country's past, the colorful drama of Frontier America in the exciting days of the covered wagon and the stagecoach, the advent of the railroad, and the romantic riverboat. Frontierland is a tribute to the faith, courage, and ingenuity of the pioneers who blazed trails through the Indian nations and across America.

Fantasyland:

Here is the world of imagination, hopes and dreams. In this timeless land of enchantment, the age of chivalry, magic, and make-believe are reborn and fairy tales as rewritten by talented writers come true. Fantasyland is dedicated to the young-at-heart, to those who believe that when you wish upon a star, your dreams come true.

Tomorrowland:

A vista into a world of wondrous ideas, signifying man's achievements, a step into the future, with predictions of constructive things to come. Tomorrow offers new frontiers in science, adventure, and ideals: the atomic age, the challenge of outer space, and the hope for a peaceful and unified world through miniaturized electronics, a mechanized military, and genetic engineering.

[Escapay]

The Disneyland land dedications are from DisneyLies.com, where he got the one he posted earlier in the thread.

Seriously, BDF, is it so hard to say, "I got this from (wherever you got it), and thought it'd be cool to post here!" before posting things?

albert

[Big Disney Fan]

The Disneyland land dedications are from DisneyLies.com, where he got the one he posted earlier in the thread.

Seriously, BDF, is it so hard to say, "I got this from (wherever you got it), and thought it'd be cool to post here!" before posting things?

albert

No, it's not too hard. Also, no offense, but earlier in the thread, you got the script for the Disney Heroine Round Table (the first one) from off a now-defunct website, but I don't think you mentioned where you got it. The only thing you mentioned was that it was not by you, but it may have been from somebody else.

---

DUMBO: (anything at all!)

[Escapay]

No, it's not too hard.

Then why aren't you doing it?

Also, no offense, but earlier in the thread, you got the script for the Disney Heroine Round Table (the first one) from off a now-defunct website, but I don't think you mentioned where you got it. The only thing you mentioned was that it was not by you, but it may have been from somebody else.

The difference between you and me is that I mentioned it was from elsewhere, even if I didn't have the source on me at the time. I made it known that it wasn't mine and I wasn't trying to take credit for it, even if I didn't know who wrote it.

What you do is post something without mentioning where it's from, leading others to believe it's yours. The only way they'd know otherwise is if someone else comes in to say where it's from or if someone asks where you got it and you have to tell them.

albert