Fake Press Releases

[Escapay]

This is a fun and creative thread for those of us who have a lot of wishful thinking to do. Create a fake press release about anything. Disney, DVDs, a ball of yarn...

George Lucas to Release Classic Trilogy: The ORIGINALS (We're not kidding) - May 2006
In a surprise move, George Lucas, known for his controversial decision to enhance his classic Star Wars Trilogy with modern technology and CGI, said in an interview with Star Wars Insider that he is going to release the original trilogy, as they were originally seen in 1977, 1980, and 1983.

"A lot of people were really angry when I released the new editions," Lucas said. "But these were my films, and I wanted them released the way I wanted. I always said I was sorry they fell in love with an incomplete film, and I'm hoping to change that now." So what changed his mind? "Money, really. I realized that the most die-hard of fans would have already bought the special editions, just to have it on DVD. Then, they'd buy it again, knowing they'd be getting their precious originals. I really have no concern about the original pictures. It's getting me more money."

A lot of planning is going into this release of the original trilogy. As readers may recall, the 2004 edition was released as a four-disc set, in a rather flimsy box. The original edition, it is rumored, will be more along the lines of the Ultimate Matrix Collection, with multiple bonus discs. Each movie will be digitally remastered from original prints, and there will be several new audio commentaries. One to look forward to is an in-character commentary done by Anthony Daniels and a technician, as they will have hours of witty banter done in the voice of C-3PO and the blips and beeps of R2-D2.

Lucas also stated that he is *considering* a possible release of the ill-fated Star Wars television special, The Star Wars Holiday Special, from 1978. "It was such a train wreck, I admit," he states. "I don't know what I was smoking when I allowed it. But like the original trilogy, it can bring in money. There are people out there who'd be willing to pay me to have their eyes bleed from the horror of it all."

Rumored specs:
Star Wars: The Ultimate Edition

Disc 1: Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope
-Digitally remastered, enhanced for 22X9 TVs
-Audio options from the previous edition (DTS, 6.1 Dolby, other languages, commentaries, etc.)
-New Audio Commentary: Anthony Daniels and technician
-New Audio Commentary: Harrison Ford, Mark Hamill, and Peter Mayhew
-New Audio Commentary: James Earl Jones, reading lines from "Hamlet", for those who don't want to listen to Star Wars.
-Subtitles in English, Spanish, French, German, Chinese, Korean, Japanese, Klingon, and the Lucas alphabet as seen in the movies.

Disc 2: Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back
-Digitally remastered, enhanced for 22X9 TVs
-Audio options from the previous edition (DTS, 6.1 Dolby, other languages, commentaries, etc.)
-New Audio Commentary: Anthony Daniels and technician
-New Audio Commentary: Harrison Ford, Mark Hamill, and Peter Mayhew
-New Audio Commentary: James Earl Jones, reading lines from "King Lear", for those who don't want to listen to Star Wars.
-Subtitles in English, Spanish, French, German, Chinese, Korean, Japanese, Klingon, and the Lucas alphabet as seen in the movies.

Disc 3: Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi
-Digitally remastered, enhanced for 22X9 TVs
-Audio options from the previous edition (DTS, 6.1 Dolby, other languages, commentaries, etc.)
-New Audio Commentary: Anthony Daniels and technician
-New Audio Commentary: Harrison Ford, Mark Hamill, and Peter Mayhew
-New Audio Commentary: James Earl Jones, reading lines from "Macbeth", for those who don't want to listen to Star Wars.
-Subtitles in English, Spanish, French, German, Chinese, Korean, Japanese, Klingon, and the Lucas alphabet as seen in the movies.

Disc 4: Star Wars Trilogy - Bonus Material
-Carry-over from the original DVD set

Disc 5: Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope - Bonus Material
-Deleted Scenes
-More documentaries
-Concept art, stills, etc.
-Useless promotional fluff

Disc 6: Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back - Bonus Material
-Deleted Scenes
-More documentaries
-Concept art, stills, etc.
-Useless promotional fluff

Disc 7: Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi - Bonus Material
-Deleted Scenes
-More documentaries
-Concept art, stills, etc.
-Useless promotional fluff

Disc 8: Star Wars: Episode IV, V, and VI - The Edited Version
-A new edited disc containing all three movies. Edited down to 30 minutes each for the viewer on the go, this is a really useless disc but it has kickass disc art.

Disc 9: Star Wars: The Merchandising
-A 4-hour documentary detailing every single piece of merchandise with the words "Star Wars" on them.
-A 20-minute documentary detailing every single piece of bootleg merchandise with similarities to "Star Wars".

Disc 10: Star Wars: The Game Show
-A new interactive DVD of nothing but a pointless game show. Better used as a coaster.

SRP $69.99 (Though you can expect many stores to decidedly carry it for $40 or less)

Disney DVDs to go under uniform banner: The Disney Edition - January 2005
To kick off the new year, Buena Vista Home Entertainment and Disney have decided to avoid confusion with their titles by simply calling every single release the "Disney Edition". This also helps avoid confusion when a family decides to buy Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, but can only find the cheap $1 knockoff. Also of interest, every release will now be a two-disc, packed to the brim with documentaries, featurettes, and most importantly: trailers and OAR. More details to come.

Hilary Duff Retires - September 2005
After being in the spotlight for many years now (Can you believe it's been only 4 years since Lizzie McGuire?), Hilary Duff has decided to call it quits on her acting and singing career, opting to spend more time on a ranch she bought in Montana.

"I really love acting and singing," the star said. "But I recently found out I have a bigger love for animals and the great outdoors, and to tell you the truth, earning millions in four years ought to be enough to last me the rest of my life. Four years was probably too much, anyway. So I'm retiring. No more acting. No more singing."

And the world heaves a collective sigh or relief.

Man in PA is Last to Switch to Widescreen - August 2009
Perhaps the last person in the world to still be purchasing Pan & Scan DVDs and watching them on a bigscreen 4:3 television, John Jacob Jingleheimerschmidt has relented, and bought his first widescreen television.

"I feel like my eyes have truly been opened. Seeing the original aspect ratio without the bars...it's simply wonderful," JJJ said. "My only problem now is returning all my old DVDs for widescreen releases. No one wants Pan & Scan anymore, so no one's willing to buy them off me."

JJJ has been buying Pan & Scan discs since 1999, when DVDs were still young. "I was young too. Young and foolish. I had no idea I was losing up to half the movie." The sudden switch to widescreen perhaps was due to an unfortunate incident in his home. Three months ago, JJJ was sitting peacefully in his den, watching a Pan & Scan version of Top Gun, when a burglar broke in and demanded he give him all his DVDs. While JJJ was collecting them all, the burglar noticed they all said "Full Screen Version", got angry, yelled several expletives, and left. "I feel grateful that he didn't take anything, since he didn't want my DVDs. Of course when I heard him drive away, I should've checked my garage. But the car was returned a week later, when the burglar realized it was a Ford."

So, with a new widescreen tv in tow, and more movies to upgrade to widescreen, what has JJJ planned for the future? "I might get married now. No one would have me because I preferred Pan & Scan. They said they didn't want to marry half a man."

Escapay

[Disney Guru]

This Is Fun Here Goes


Coming March 5, 2005

Tammy Collection On DVD

Universal Home Video President states. Debbie Reynolds, and Sandra Dee have been pestering me for the past 6 years to release all 4 of the Tammy films on dvd . Here they are I hope you the public are happy and will stop pestering me.

Tammy And The Bachelor will be presented in Widescreen format, we would do Foolscreen because we here at Universal are cheepskates, but we lost the Fullscreen version so we have to do it in Widescreen.

Tammy Tell Me True. This will be in Widescreen also. For some odd reason our whole FullScreen department blew up. We are going to have to cut down our profit margins, I guess that means no new Rolls Royce.

Tammy And The Doctor: This will be in Widescreen as with the rest of it, Sandra Dee and Peter Fonda will be doing commentary, and it willl include the origional theatrical trailer.

Tammy And The MIllionaire: This film thought to be lost by all of us here at Universal Home Video. Was discovered in a saftey deposit box at the very back of our vault. Well the film was all ragged and torn up, but we were able to get it restored, thanks to our restoration department. It includes an interview with Debbie Watson who played Tammy.

All of these dvds include the origional Theatrical Trailers.

And they will be in a coustom box set, on 1 DVD.Tammy And The Bachelor and Tammy And The Doctor will be on side one. And Tammy And The Doctor and Tammy and The MIllionaire will be on side 2.

Suggested Retail Price: $15.99

[snowbot]

This would be pretty sweet...


<b>The Complete Disney Animated Classics Soundtrack Box Set</b>

BURBANK, Calif., December 8, 2004 - Disney’s superb ORIGINAL SOUNDTRACK series continues with the limited-edition "The Complete Disney Animated Classics Soundtrack Box Set", containing 44 compact discs that include the complete soundtracks to each of Disney's Animated Classics from 1937 through 2004. The soundtracks are fully restored and remastered, and each contains not only the amazing songs from the film, but the complete original scores as well. At last, all of the animated film soundtracks, available in one place! Not only will you have favorites like <i>Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, The Little Mermaid,</i> and <i>Beauty and the Beast, </i> but you can also own, for the first time ever, such rarities as <i>The Three Caballeros, The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr Toad,</i> and <i>Robin Hood</i>.
Each disc is housed in a cardboard sleeve which replicates the album cover art from each soundtrack's original release:
<img src="http://www.kiddierekordking.com/cov11sm.jpg">

Also included in the box is a 150-page full color book, with complete song information, lyrics, photos from the recording sessions, film stills, and essays about the music. Hear musical gems from such Disney composers as Frank Churchill, The Sherman Brothers, and Alan Menken! Available for a limited time only on Walt Disney Records on December 14, this box set is priced to own at $99.99 (SRP)!

[Disneykid]

Niiice idea! I always love making fake DVD specs.

WB Announces Extended Editions of the Harry Potter films
December 8, 2004. Warner Bros. proudly presents their biggest franchise in a whole new way. The Harry Potter films, based on the beloved novels by J.K. Rowling, will be available on July 25th in brand-new extended editions, capturing the essence of the novels now more than ever. Each film will contain never-before-seen footage that fleshes out character motives and presents memorable moments from the books that were edited out before theatrical release. Along with these, each film will contain all-new, in-depth bonus material detailing the journey from preliminary conferences all the way through the premieres. Learn the secrets behind the magic first hand from cast and crew, and see candid footage no one else has been allowed to see. The Harry Potter Extended Editions will retail for $29.99 each (or $59.99 for the limited edition boxed set) and will contain the following:

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone: Extended Edition (20 minutes of new footage)
* Audio Commentary with Director Chris Columbus, Producer David Heyman, Screenwriter Steve Kloves, and author J.K. Rowling
* Audio Commentary with Director Chris Columbus and actors Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, and Rupert Grint
* Year One Documentary (2 hours) (includes B-roll footage, interviews, meetings, comparisons with the book, and the premiere)
* Screen Tests
* Concept Art Gallery with Commentaries
* Storyboard Gallery with Commentaries
* Costume Design Gallery with Commentaries
* Costume and Make-up Tests
* CGI Tests of Fluffy, the Troll, Quidditch, the Flying Keys, the Chess Pieces, and Voldemort
* Anatomy of A Scene: The Quidditch Match
* Anatomy of A Scene: The Chess Match
* Blooper Reel
* Production Photo Gallery
* Poster Gallery
* Promotional Still Gallery
* Teaser Trailer, Theatrical Trailer, International Trailers, and TV Spots

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets: Extended Edition (15 minutes of new footage)
* Audio Commentary with Director Chris Columbus, Producer David Heyman, Screenwriter Steve Kloves, and author J.K. Rowling
* Audio Commentary with Director Chris Columbus and actors Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, and Rupert Grint
* Year Two Documentary (2 hours) (includes B-roll footage, interviews, meetings, comparisons with the book, and the premiere)
* Screen Tests
* Concept Art Gallery with Commentaries
* Storyboard Gallery with Commentaries
* Costume Design Gallery with Commentaries
* Costume and Make-up Tests
* CGI Tests and Turnarounds of the Flying Car, the Whomping Willow, the Cornish Pixies, Fawkes, and the Basilisk
* Anatomy of A Scene: Aragog's Lair
* Anatomy of A Scene: The Chamber of Secrets
* Blooper Reel
* Production Photo Gallery
* Poster Gallery
* Promotional Still Gallery
* Teaser Trailer, Theatrical Trailer, International Trailers, and TV Spots

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban: Extended Edition (10 minutes of new footage)
* Audio Commentary with Director Alfonso Cuaron, Producers David Heyman and Chris Columbus, Screenwriter Steve Kloves, and author J.K. Rowling
* Audio Commentary with Director Alfonso Cuaron and actors Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, and Rupert Grint
* Year Three Documentary (2 hours) (includes B-roll footage, interviews, meetings, comparisons with the book, and the premiere)
* Screen Tests
* Concept Art Gallery with Commentaries
* Storyboard Gallery with Commentaries
* Costume Design Gallery with Commentaries
* Costume and Make-up Tests
* CGI Tests and Turnarounds of the Dementors, Buckbeak, Padfoot, and Moony
* Anatomy of A Scene: Buckbeak's Flight
* Anatomy of A Scene: The Whomping Willow
* Blooper Reel
* Production Photo Gallery
* Poster Gallery
* Promotional Still Gallery
* Teaser Trailer, Theatrical Trailer, International Trailers, and TV Spots

[kevinsnow]

This would be pretty sweet...


<b>The Complete Disney Animated Classics Soundtrack Box Set</b>

Wow, that would be awesome. Why don't you make that for me for Christmas, eh brother?

[Jack]

Here's a vintage one for ya: http://www.ultimatedisney.com/forum/vie ... php?t=1190