Escapay, back in February wrote:I can't wait until October when I can complain that Beauty and the Beast only has half its bonus features, just one version of the film, *maybe* a sneak peek at the 2017 film, and a slate of crap that includes the overly-fawning @DisneyAnimation featurette, a trivial five minute piece hosted by Prince Ben of Descendents, and that film's modern remix of "Be Our Guest," now set to a bizzarely-edited music video.
Disney, prove me wrong. I dare you.
Congratulations, Disney, you've proven me wrong.
First off, you've decided that instead of offering half of the classic bonus features on the disc, you're relegating all five hours worth of them to Digital HD and DisneyMoviesAnywhere. This is of little concern to the collector's side of me, as I've collected every home media release and have no intention of getting rid of them. But for a consumer who's staunchly supported physical media for years and continues to, it's a real slap in the face. I've largely resisted this company's big push to go digital; I feel that it creates a false sense of ownership of content. In the grand scheme of things, we're merely renting the right to watch this material until you decide to pull it from the servers, cloud, whatnot. The actual ownership of the content, the "home" of home media, is now gone. I know that I'll likely give in and actually pursue these digital offerings, if only to ensure that they're a "back-up" of sorts. But right now, this is one unhappy camper.
Let's continue with how you've proven me wrong, usually by giving me something worse than I expect. I expected only one version of the film. Thankfully, you've proven me wrong in that regard, because we're still getting multiple versions. Namely, the original theatrical release and the extended "Human Again" version (let's hope we get that shot correction at the end of "Something There" in the theatrical version). But you've made it worse by, once again, relegating one of the most important versions of the film to a digital-only corral. I'm more insulted by your notion that the Work in Progress version of the film is being treated as a supplement than I am that it's digital-only. This is the version that won over the New York Film Festival. This is the version that proved to the world that animation is a legitimate art form. This is the version that you've seemed to never get right on home video, much more so than the now-tiresome Colorgate issues. From the laser rot that plagued the LaserDisc to the sometimes-problematic seamless branching that affected the DVD to the "you'll need a magnifying glass" picture-in-picture option on the Blu-Ray, you've given no respect to the Work in Progress version of the film. So I really shouldn't be surprised that this version of the film is the first to go to the great Disney Cloud in the sky. All in favor of a third "version" of the film with extra-frilly, distracting subtitles during the songs. Bravo.
Okay, so maybe I can't be proven wrong about the sneak peek of the 2017 film. After all, that's probably the only thing that would have been expected. But I'm sure you'll find some grand way to ruin it for me when I watch that bonus feature. After all, the overly-fawning "Becoming Mr. Sherman" featurette on the
Mary Poppins Blu-Ray from a few years ago seems to have come at the expense of actually finding "A Musical Journey" on supplements list (it's on the disc, but why can't we access it?!?). I bet you'll include the sneak peek but it'll come at the expense of an older featurette - oh, wait, you've already put them all in the cloud.
And now we get to the "slate of crap." You've done right by me in a few ways. Some things sound good. You've proven me wrong in the sense that the slate isn't just crap. But I'm sure you'll treat them crappily.
For starters, this "jam session" with Menken and Friends (why are you titling it like a 1970s variety special?) could be very promising. I mean, Menken and Schwartz and Lopez and Lopez and, what's your name, man? ALEXANDER HAMILTON. MY NAME IS ALEXANDER HAMILTON AND THERE'S A MILLION THINGS I HAVEN'T DONE BUT JUST YOU WAIT, JUST YOU WAIT. Ahem, sorry, got distracted. But anyway, if this group is gonna jam to some Disney tunes, I expect it should run in the 15-20 minute range. After all, Menken, Don Hahn, and Richard Craft pretty much did the same thing for the
Beauty and the Beast songs back in 2010. It's too bad we can't have a back-to-back double-feature viewing of that old featurette with this new one. But again, digital. And again, you'll probably prove me wrong this fall when we get a 7 minute conversation with a single, 30 second rendition of "Let It Go." Then again, anything's better than that stupid rap version of
Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs you unleashed upon us in February. I haven't cringed this much through a bonus feature since T-Squad stumbled their way through "The Second Star to the Right" in 2007.
Next, a memoir with Paige O'Hara. Not bad. I'm hopeful. She's always had good things to say about the film, and I absolutely love her paintings that you guys sell in Bonjour Village Gifts. But, let's be serious, she could probably talk for hours and you'll whittle it down to something less than 10 minutes. I feel like I shouldn't be surprised, especially as a lot can still be said in less than 10 minutes. And, truth be told, these slick, new HD featurettes essentially act as supplements to the main documentary anyway (wait, what main documentary? Oh right, you'll have to put in the old 2010 disc or access the cloud to get that now). But for the sake of argument, let's look at just how much these running times of past "memoir" featurettes have been whittled down:
*Ron & Jon: You Ain't Never Had a Friend Like Me (5:36) - 2015
*Lucky Dogs (9:08) - 2015
*The Art of Evil: Generations Of Disney Villains (10:00) - 2014
*Music, Memories & Mowgli: A Conversation with Richard M. Sherman, Diane Disney Miller and Floyd Norman (9:49) - 2014
*Under the Scene: The Art of Live-Action Reference (13:13) - 2013
*The Real Fairy Godmother (11:50) - 2012
*Diane Disney Miller: Remembering Dad (8:00) - 2012
*The Lion King: A Memoir - Don Hahn (19:40) - 2011
Proof is in the pudding. These featurettes ebb and flow in running time, but gradually get shorter and shorter, much like José's siestas in the Enchanted Tiki Room. Paige should consider herself lucky if her 5-minute piece contains 4 minutes of her interview and only 1 minute of clips.
Of course, I'm not holding much hope for the Walt feature. After all, the 2002 documentary stated that there was little to no evidence of Walt's work on the film in the usually-thorough archives. This was later addressed in the 2010 documentary, merely as a quick reference. Nothing's turned up... until now. So, were you just holding back on material again, or did you actually, suddenly discover something? I'm actually really curious about this. And I know you'll deliver just like you did with
Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. That is, I can't wait for a lite version of "In Walt's Words" that'll, again, run just shy of 5 minutes. Gotta love the attention span of the ADHD target audience. Instant gratification has led to shorter tolerance for anything they can't watch on the go.
And I guess you proved me wrong with this recording session featurette. I mean, you guys did tease us with this kind of footage in virtually every documentary you've made about the film (the 20/20 news report, the Disney Channel special, the Platinum documentary, the Diamond documentary). I can't wait to watch it all again in sparkling HD. Oh wait, it probably wasn't shot in HD. But I'm sure it'll look great upconverted! The main problem, once more, is that you're treating these kind of things as the center-stage main attraction, but not giving them their proper due. I'm sure there are extensive takes of the recording sessions for "Belle," for "Be Our Guest," and even for "Human Again"! Heck, you gave us a complete recording session for "A Whole New World" back in 2004! Are we actually going to be gifted with that kind of presentation for a
Beauty and the Beast song? Or will it end up being something more along the lines of one of the "Behind the Microphone" montages that is better suited for a press kit than a featurette?
Thank you for not including anything remotely related to the "Be Our Guest" remix from
Descendants. While I do love that film (for both ironic and genuine reasons), I am so glad to be proven wrong regarding that unfortunate bit of 21st century revisionism seeing inclusion on a treasured classic.
And I concede I'm wrong about that trivial five-minute piece. Oh, I'm sure it'll still be trivial, and I'm sure it'll still be five minutes. But you've merely switched out one Disney Channel face for... two. And I don't even recognize their names at all. I guess I've finally reached that point where I've outgrown what Disney Channel has become. I'm no longer the target demographic. Yikes. Is this what getting old is supposed to be?
Disney, you've proved me wrong. You've taken my expectations and not only met some of them, but lowered others, whilst still giving me a few glimmers of hope.
Perhaps come September, I'll eat my words once more. Perhaps the jam session, the memoir, the Walt piece, the recording sessions... perhaps all those will be worthy supplements that soften the blow of "losing" a lot of great content from the past. Perhaps the sneak peek will truly get me excited for a film that I've literally waited 25 years to see. Perhaps I'll actually watch this "25 Fun Facts" thing and learn something I haven't. Perhaps this is all a dream, and I'll wake up in a world where your home media releases have consistently gotten better and better as the Blu-Ray format gets older and older. You know, as opposed to the past ten years of me bitching and moaning about one thing or another. Yeah, I know that my physical media bias has shown in this past, and that digital is the future that you're pushing on us. But perhaps I'll learn to embrace that. Or perhaps you'll realize that physical media is still a viable product.
Disney, prove me right. I double-dare you.
Albert