What is Maturity?

[Siren]

Thanks enigmawing. Its opprotunities like this that make me glad to be back.

I just find some of the argument ironic...
Its immature to curse as an adult but children shouldn't curse cause its bad.

In other words....never ever curse.

If that is something people believe then I suggest those people visit their nearest birthing center and tell the women in labor not to curse. Just do so with protective gear on for when they might throw something heavy like a metal bed pan or a nurse.

Mythbusters did do an experiment that showed cursing DOES help peoppe deal with pain. It is all psycholgical of course.

I know when I was in labor, fully natural birth, for almost 5 hours I was cursing enough to make a truck driver blush. And believe me, I know cause I'm engaged to one. I had ultimate curse word combos too. I made up my own even.

Maybe its just me but I don't care when I hear people swear. I'm more concerned with biggee issues.

[Disney Duster]

Don't twist stuff Siren, in the end I said that children wouldn't know how to handle such words. Yes cursing does relieve pain, but if you haven't noticed - children handle pain in quite different ways than adults do no matter what words they know. Children would make up their own words to deal with pain if necessary, too, usually something like "stupid" or is scatological, and it's enough for them at their young age while adults may require something more. And duh children should have a more innocent time while adults know more about bad stuff. It makes sense.

[Elladorine]

"Frankly my dear, I just don't give a darn," just doesn't have quite the same ring to it.

As I basically stated earlier, maturity is all about acting appropriately in any given situation. I'd much rather a person curse at me with honesty than lie to my face with pretty words, but hey, that's just me. Because it's not the swear words I find offensive, it's the poor assumptions people make about others. It certainly doesn't take any swearing for someone to act like a complete jackass.

I'm likely to hold back my swearing in certain situations. Showing a little decorum is somewhat important to me, and it's pretty easy to tell when it's ok to say what. For example, I don't swear when around children, especially when I'm the caretaker. I also don't swear around my grandmother out of respect, and I definitely wouldn't be saying something like "F*** that" at a job interview. But in other social situations when speaking casually with certain family members or friends, I don't think it shows a lack of intelligence or respect. And when it comes to pain? I know I was cursing up a storm at the ER back in January; if anyone wants to call me immature for it, I invite them to figure out exactly how they'd act while going through that much physical and emotional pain.

Who's to say what's appropriate and what's not? It's all subjective of course. I think it's most important to feel sympathy for others and not to be judgmental. So when it comes to priorities, swearing is pretty far down my list.

[Lazario]

To Answer Lazario's comment about kids learning swear words and understanding them.

The use of swear words does not make you a better person. You are a better person for being able to handle stress or things of that nature without resorting to using foul language. Let's face it, it wasn't until the 20th Century that most of the vile swear words came into being.

As I think enough of the commenters to reply to this before me have proven, Junkie: that is a nonsensical "opinion." Way too many things left unaccounted for and unconsidered. And as a piece of writing, immature. Somewhat ironic(?) considering how high and mighty you're acting.

And your reference to the Gay people that I know. I think you are a little off base there. I am the oldest of 11 children and I have a brother who is gay and had a sister who was gay, but she committed suicide due to the pressures of society and her job. My brother worked for the State of California for almost forty years, and is now retired with a six-figure income. He has a very good life with a partner that has been with him for over thirty years. I have never and never will use any terms that one could call gay-bashing, because some of my best friends are gay.

That is the one place that you and I disagree on, Lazario. You seem to have the "oh, woe is me, I'm gay and no one likes me" attitude, when you could just make it point to better yourself in your choice of employment and quit blaming everything on the fact that you are gay. Most of my gay friends that you would meet you would not know that they were gay, because they don't flaunt it, they just are. and they all have great jobs and very wonderful life partners. They are welcome in my home anytime.

Again: a wildly off-base and ridiculous response. All of which is saying very clearly: these people in my life don't have a problem with so much of the rest of the country continually denying gay people equal rights and freedoms. And they're gay too. So nobody else should either. That's akin to saying: my black friend said it's okay to say "nigger" in public even though it may offend millions of other black people. These gay people you know do not speak for me or the entire nation. So, if I have a problem with the fact that we don't have equal rights- you have no right to suggest I'm in the wrong, self-hating, etc. Not only is it insulting and idiotic... it doesn't many any sense either. If you were making the same sort of generalizations for straight people, you'd see a STORM of responses telling you you're full of what makes the grass grow green.

Was that un-vile enough for you?

Seriously, Junkie, I don't make this a habit (in fact- I'm usually in your position during these kinds of confrontations) but I am so sick of your "oh, if only things were simpler and nicer" garbage. I agree. Almost everyone does. But first people have to stop acting like idiots and admit that people pushing the status quo (like you are more than doing here: gay people can "look" equal but shouldn't bother fighting for the same rights as straights) are part of the reason things will never be like this:

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[ajmrowland]

Don't twist stuff Siren, in the end I said that children wouldn't know how to handle such words.

They may not know how to handle them, but they sure as hell know how to say them.

[ajmrowland]

I would agree with that if it werent for one thing: We learn these words as children, and either by peers or some other means, are desensitized and get into the habit of using them usually by middle school.

What are you using this to say, that swearing is a sign of maturity, that it isn't, that it should be used, or it shouldn't be at all?

None of the above actually. I'm saying it happens. For kids, it's always been just as normal as it has been for adults. And by "always", i mean just about every generation of 9+ year olds over the course of history, and not in the sense that means "since birth".

Though in the ratings sense, it's considered "mature"; that alongside violence and sexuality is a common misconception of maturity.

[milojthatch]

Maturity is fully respecting yourself and everyone else around you. Maturity is showing kindness to everyone, even when you may not feel like it. Maturity is going that extra mile to make someone happy because you truly value that person. Maturity is putting other's needs ahead of self. Maturity is doing what needs to be done, because it needs to be done, and not complaining about it. Maturity is standing up for what you know is right, even when everyone else says you are wrong. Maturity is showing love to those who hate you and meaning it. Maturity is finding joy in the darkest moments of life, and being happy. These are traits a truly mature person will show. The word in the sense that society uses it is way off base for what it really means.

[Disney Duster]

While what you wrote is beautiful milojthatch, I must say I don't believe that has ever, ever been anywhere near the actual definition of maturity in the history of the word.

What you wrote sounds like what it takes to be a good or great person, while maturity is more specific to handling everything well and is attached to the idea of growing older.

There can be very evil, unkind, but mature people.

[magired1]

I have to agree with your comments. I mean there is different sayings and meaning to "maturity"-Some people want you to be mature and try to make you into something your not by always telling you faults or your flaws-BUT YOU find it so annoying that people pressure you to be the 'mature person' they want you to be.

I mean we all have our flaws and faults, but we strive to better ourselves to suit what makes us happy no matter what people say-especially our parents. I'm a kid at heart and I'm 24 years old with ADHD (Hopefully it won't take offensive or you guys finding it odd or anything). I am a hardworking student, I do my chores, and I am growing as a mature adult, but I can be a tad immature sometimes-but its rarely or sometimes, but its innocent.

BUT Some people-Mostly my mom think its annoying or wants me to be something I don't want to be-I don't wanna be like her. I mean to be honest my mom can act very immature at times-she even blows her top at the smallest of things.

She needs to understand that I want to be mature in my own way that makes me happy because I can deal with things-Sure I get overexcited at times or rabble abit here and there, but I am learning to improve by myself. I don't need her badgering me-I want to be mature in my own way because I am proud of who I am despite some flaws I have and I admit it.

[Disney Duster]

Don't worry magired1 I think you're mature enough!

[magired1]

Thank you