What Movie Did You Just Watch? ...Rises

[BelleGirl]

Peter Pan

Road to Perdition good, grim story showing how violence brings forth more violence. Fascinating.

[Lazario]

Scissors (1991 / directed by: Frank De Felitta)



If a movie can be summed up in 1 word, this one's would be: unconvincing. This movie is one of the most inept psychological thrillers likely ever put to celluloid. Worse still, it tries to get off being a collage of other horror thrillers: Repulsion, Dead Ringers, I Madman, Dolls, Argento's Opera, I'm guessing there's a bit of De Palma's Body Double here, probably some Hitchcock, and just a pinch of Let's Scare Jessica to Death. And, if we're going to average the movie out- who needs it? I'd sooner recommend the vastly superior Basic Instinct or Final Analysis instead. However... the section of the movie where Stone first arrives at the mysterious "perfect" apartment is fantastic. And there are a good deal of bordering-on hysterically laughable moments. The pic above, for example, is far from the only moment featuring Sharon Stone in psycho-eyes mode. If you're looking for a convincing, nail-biting thriller, you won't get it here. But there is a good deal of visual flare and amusing what-the-fuckery (the very Evil Dead-esque moment where she runs into her apartment to escape torturous hanging plants on her balcony is especially silly). If you can make it through the painfully boring first half-hour. I almost didn't. Steve Railsback cuts an alluring underwear scene short to play Jeremy Irons, but you'll yearn for John Lithgow (who also played evil twins in Raising Cain) instead. Mark my words.




Enough (2002 / directed by: Michael Apted)



Seriously; who the HELL was this movie made for? It's way too violent for Lifetime. Too insensitive for feminists. And too damn braindead for women. Evil husband Billy Campbell (Disney's The Rocketeer) is the Terminator version of the almost believable psycho husband from Sleeping with the Enemy. But emotionally tough waitress turned bubble-headed wife Jennifer Lopez is sure as hell no Julia Roberts. This movie tries to be the other side of that coin - Roberts is just as clever / resourceful but far more vulnerable and Lopez plays the conveniently tougher version who gets the sense knocked into her as the husband's beatings play like a "I knew he was too perfect" wake-up call - though and fails miserably. Not to mention- since Lopez is trapped under the thumb of the wrong man for most of the movie, they throw in a heroic alternative for her to play cutesy to. Oh, and... her daughter is portrayed as an actual ball-and-chain; in one of the movie's most ridiculous scenes, she pesters Lopez with a barrage of trivial questions as she's rushing to get them out of the room that the psycho evil husband is trying to break into. Um: NOT NOW, HONEY, Mommy's a little busy- she's only trying to SAVE YOUR LIFE! Thanks to the kinda exciting fight at the end, however, the movie winds up being marginally better than Domestic Disturbance.

[jpanimation]

Winnie the Pooh (2011) 5.5/10 - What a pointless movie. It’s easy to see why the movie didn’t even make it’s measly 30 million dollar budget back. There’s not much of a story to follow (the one that is there, has already been done in Pooh's Grand Adventure and was more heartfelt) and it’s not even an hour long (about 54 minutes not counting the credits). I know they advertised this as the true sequel to The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh but it was really the same in quality as all the DTVs that came before it and it really shouldn’t have been made by their feature animation department (what a waste of talent and resources). To me, it seemed like everyone in this movie was out of character at some point and they seemed WAY too animated, as if the animators were trying to show off as opposed to sticking with the established subdued nature of the characters. If there was ever an appropriate place for John K.’s “tude” rant, it would be here, where there are facial expressions (raised eyebrows and self aware glares) and gags (military and boxing?) that just don’t belong in Pooh’s world. I guess I should mention the new voices, which are just awful; with Eeyore sounding like Eeyore until his voice is raised, with Rabbit sounding like the Mayor of Townsville (sans Frank Morgan impersonation), with Kanga sounding too damn young, with Owl sounding 100% like Craig Ferguson and with John Cleese being my least favorite Pooh narrator due to his lack of warmth. These are not the characters I remember. Even with all that, it’s the songs that throw this movie over the edge, as they are just god awful (Pooh’s stomach grumbling a song was a stupid idea and never should’ve made it off the drawing board). I know the Academy shortened the runtime qualifications for Best Animated Feature to only 40 minutes just for Pooh but it has no chance in hell of being nominated.

I guess it's worth noting that the accompanying short, The Ballad of Nessie, was good. It had an old school charm to it.

Green Lantern (2011) 6/10 - I had a feeling I wasn’t really going to be into this. I always loved John Stewart on Justice League (fantastic show) but I couldn’t get into Hal Jordan in the DTV animated Green Lantern movie at all (bad movie). My worst fear is that this movie would just be that same story, only live action. Fortunately it wasn’t just a repeat. Unfortunately it’s not in anyway better. That said, I didn’t find it to be nearly as bad as critics were letting on and I even enjoyed it to a certain extent (oh man, the flash back to his father’s death and the Kilowog training scenes were beyond cheesy). Their first obstacle going in was getting people to buy into such an alien world and they most certainly succeeded. Like Thor, the alien world is the most interesting and is beautifully rendered. They nailed it artistically speaking. The same can’t be said about the story, which is fine but there was too many opportunities left unexplored - characters left unexplored. They had everything they needed right in front of them but they didn’t present it right. There is also an instant disconnect from the plot as most of it relies on massive amounts of exposition; too much for my taste. Then you have the characters, who all have zero depth but it’s all fun in a cheesy Saturday Morning kind of way (much in the same way as the Fantastic Four movies).

[Dr Frankenollie]

12 Angry Men (1957) - Utterly fantastic coutroom drama/thriller, with great performances by Lee J Cobb, Henry Fonda, George Voskovec, Martin Balsam and - heck, all of them are superb. The realism in portrayals of characters (who use very natural colloquialisms, have very natural manners and give nuanced clues to the viewer about what kind of person they are) is astounding, the soft and sombre score is full of heart and emotion, and the writing as well as the twisting and turning of the plot is mesmerising and brilliant. All in all, it's easily one of the greatest movies of all time, unsurprisingly directed by one of cinema's greatest filmmakers.

[Lazario]

Lisa (1990 / directed by: Gary Sherman)



Oh, dear: when cheesy B-grade thrillers are given the Hollywood treatment. They become conflicted and believe themselves not to be B-grade. Well, this is shot and written (to a certain point) like a quality, all bases covered Hollywood thriller. But, 'round midway it starts unraveling and by the end, it's lost everything good it was working toward. It had something for the longest time (the riffs caused in the "sexy" single mother / "too young to date" daughter relationship dynamic) but decided to play cheap morals and force the shockingly mature daughter to become more childish with each new phone call to the film's tall, dark stranger (D.W. Moffett- who is definitely sexy but much more effective, in my experience, with comic roles). Add a really shitty climax to the mix and you have to wonder why they bothered. Lisa starts out smart and strong then slowly becomes a pathetic, helpless, whimpering mess as the mother fights off the big bad man for her. I thought I would be able to enjoy the film's cheesy thriller angle but, sadly, this is an offensive film that insults women. Pretty much the kind of tacky schlock in expensive clothes that Man Trouble made fun of in one really good scene. See Smooth Talk instead. A much better surprise in every way.




Dream Home (2010 / directed by: Ho-Cheung Pang)



Well, here's the plot: absolutely lovely woman with sweet, patient disposition has lived ultra-stressful life (though you wouldn't know it to look at her). Circumstances with the bad economy / housing prices push her over the edge and she mercilessly slaughters 11 people in ultra-gory, ultra-graphic, ultra-unsurprising and uninteresting ways. Half the movie is devoted to the murders, which are typical new-millennium torture / exploitation / survival action-thriller shit masquerading as horror. The other half of the movie is devoted to flashbacks which shamelessly try to cook up crude excuses for her behavior. In the end, nothing does excuse the unbelievable things she does but you do feel her pain. Thanks to Josie Ho's marvelous performance. And the victims are mostly downright rotten people, so you do have to battle with yourself a little. The end of the movie is, along with Ho's performance, the best part- there's a fairly clever scene at her mundane job that almost made me smile, and when the character finally gets what she wants, the movie knows how to remind you in exactly the right way what everything you just sat through was for. But, as a horror film, it's too heavy-handed with its' message most of the time and the death scenes are just long and stupid. Nothing you haven't seen before. Along with Battle Royale, this is the worst Asian "horror" film I've ever seen. This continent is capable of so much better.

[Goliath]

The lookout (2008)

Very good, bare-bones crime story and character study in one. Joseph Gordon-Levitt proves again he deserves every bit of fame he's getting lately in his portrayal of a young man plagues by memory loss who gets trapped into a gang of bank robbers looking to clean out the safe of the bank he's working for. More important than the actual heist is the development of Levitt's character. I enjoyed this film in a way I've rarely done the past few months. It grabbed me from the start and never let me go until the credits rolled.

Disney's Aladdin (1992)

A good thing I watched this Classic again. Even though it always remained one of my favorites, I found even new appreciation for it while watching it this time. The off-modellness of Aladdin and the supposed sub-par animation (as compared to later Classic) was greatly exaggerated in my mind. The film is so good that you hardly notice anything about it. It also renewed my appreciation for Ashman's lyrics and the creativity and cleverness of all the jokes. I wish a modern day Disney movie could be this original, fresh and original.

Disney's The Little Mermaid (1989)

Still beautiful after all these years, despite the far more obvious off-modelness of Ariel in more than a few shots. In some scenes she looks like a beautiful adult; in others, she's a chubby teenager. That's really the only complaint I have about this movie. Everything else is perfect.

[Lazario]

Mortal Passions (1989 / directed by: Andrew Lane)



Luca Bercovici (director of Ghoulies, The Granny, and Rockula) gets to be an actor in this abysmal "life sucks and everyone wants to use you" erotic / bagful-of-money plot-to-kill thriller. Which I only watched because I'm a huge fan of Zach Galligan (Gremlins, Waxwork) and aim to see all the movies he's got on Netflix. It also helped in roping me in that this also has Michael Bowen from Valley Girl. Zach's a jerk husband playing cool (not what you're thinking) to his golddigging wife because he's wealthy but he's not telling her where the money is. Or that he even has any money which isn't tied up in his property. Since she thinks they're broke, she gets a job waiting tables in a "seedy bar" wearing a Playboy-esque leatherette bunny type costume while he fixes up the house all day. But he finally reveals he has hundreds of thousands of bucks stashed in a safety deposit when his scummy brother shows up, sees what a bad relationship they have and starts slapping her around. Scummy finds out she's having an affair and kills Luca, she seduces him, he takes "the bait," and he elbows her in the breasts after likely thinking to himself: "Damn! Fell for it again!" (They have a history.) Now there's a body to dispose of and even though he killed the guy, all the blame somehow falls on her for being a slut. This drives her to become all desperate for his approval and she tells him she loves him, not her husband. He's so overcome with emotion that he grabs her by the throat and throws her around the room. Yes, you could literally sub-title this movie: She's a Crash Test Dummy.

Oh, and, did I mention she and her husband are in therapy? As if this movie weren't profoundly screwed up enough, David Warner (The Omen, Scream 2) plays a completely clueless shrink who is "schooled" in his own profession by rich husband (in a scene right out of Straight Talk, the Dolly Parton movie) when he finds out slut-wife is cheating on him. This is somehow significant because the Shrink tries to convince Rich Husband that Slut Wife is totally being faithful. Does this mean there's a plot and he's involved? No, apparently- he's just an idiot. So, not only is this movie saying women are cheap whores but psychology is horsecrap. Did Shrink stop to think she might be lying? Um, he did go to school to learn about human behavior, I think he would have considered that was a possibility. Well, a real therapist would. This mistake is compounded upon later when Shrink decides to make things right... by calling Slut Wife in for an emergency session where he makes it clear he doesn't like being lied to. By shouting things like "don't you dare lie to me" and "I won't let you use me just like you used them" - because, of course, she tries to seduce him too. What the HELL is this? It started out as a movie about how money makes everyone crazy. Now, suddenly, it's an "us Men gotta stick together if we wanna defeat the evil, scheming Woman" bro's-before-ho's diatribe?!

My "watch instead" recommendation this time goes to Straight Talk. Granted it's not a thriller and doesn't have any murders or duffel bags stuffed with moola, but it does have a few things to say about psychology, money, and manipulation by people. Credit where its' due, at least that movie bothered to draw a distinction between good psychology and bad. Smart behavior and dumb. Right and wrong. This movie pretends it deftly blurs the line. Instead, it's just a shitty free-for-all of "sleaze" cliches (and I usually watch these kinds of movies because their idea of taking the gritty sleaze of the early 80's into posh Californian houses and swanky hotels, etc, is often hysterically cheesy). Making Reese Witherspoon's line in Freeway about movies and TV glorifying beating up women all the more spot on because movies like this serve as proof that she (and the screenwriter of that film) were right. I give it a half-star however because the guys are hot and there's a lot of them on display (hey, they clearly wanted to sell half this movie based on its' sex appeal and, so, it should be judged accordingly). And, for awhile, they throw in another almost interesting female character to provide a constrast to Slutty Wife. Of course, at the end, even though she hasn't done anything wrong she's reduced to a desperate begger forced to eat crow because she expected Rich Husband (who is clearly a douche) to split his blood money. But before that, she was at the very least a sympathetic character. Unlike the other members of the movie's Sex Triangle of Assholery.

[jpanimation]

Captain America: The First Avenger (2011) 6.5/10 - I have mixed feelings about this movie. I feel everything up to the point where Steve Rogers quits selling war bonds is excellent, then it just hits a dry spell for me, to which it picks up again when Rogers infiltrates the Red Skull’s final lair (where we’re treated to a pair of spectacular action sequences). The stuff in New York at the beginning is really my favorite part of this movie (I’m a sucker for this period stuff) and it’s incredible how they made Chris Evans look so puny. My least favorite aspect of the movie has to be Hydra (they look like something out of that god awful G.I. Joe movie) and the Red Skull (a one note villain that just isn’t appealing at all). The members of Hydra also had questionable German accents that only add to their already cartoonish portrayal. I was also hoping this would be a little more emotional then it was but I felt nothing as Bucky plummeted to his death, a wasted opportunity for sure. Kind of a nit picky thing but I feel the movie should’ve ended with the kids playing with a Captain America shield and the sequence with Steve Rogers waking up in the future should’ve been saved for after the credits (as opposed to The Avengers trailer), as it’s current placement feels soo anticlimactic. As far as these new Marvel entries go, I’d probably rank it with Thor but definitely not Iron Man.

Bad Teacher (2011) 6/10 - It was better then I thought it would be. Sure the characters are shallow and ridiculous and the plot is predictable but there was actually a few times it had me laughing pretty hard. Probably not something I’ll be revisiting often but at least it wasn’t a chore to get through like soo many other “comedies” as of late that try to be something they’re not.

[Dr Frankenollie]

I just watched Howl's Moving Castle; even though the plot wasn't always the easiest to follow, the visuals were excellent, and I also enjoyed the elegant music and likable characters. The titular castle itself is a fantastically-designed set piece that I won't soon be forgetting. (I've done a longer review on my website).

[Goliath]

Disney's Beauty and the Beast (1991)

Not nearly as good as The Little Mermaid and Aladdin in terms of story, songs, voice cast and characters, but most of all it's lacking in the animation department. Even The Rescuers Down Under, a film I hate with passion, has far better animation than BatB. This movie has so much sloppy animation it's embarrassing and distracting. Sure, Ariel and Aladdin looked off-model too sometimes, but not so grossly and obvious as Belle. There are really a lot of very ugly shots which take me out of the flow of the movie. The only decently animated parts are the songs --*some* of the songs. The ballroom scene is gorgeous, as is the 'Something there'-scene, but the seven different Belles in 'Bonjour' and the cheaply animated secondary characters in 'Gaston' (as well as numerous continuity errors) are unforgivable. Secondary characters seem rushed and the colors look cheap and saturday morning cartoon-ish.

The story suffers from plotholes, most notably one brought up by the directors themselves (in the audio commentary): how come Maurice was lost in the woods for what had to be months, according to the time we see Belle spend with the Beast? Also, I don't think the relationship between Belle and the Beast was that well worked out. We just accept that they've grown to like each other because that's what we've been told through the secondary characters ('Something there'). I feel there's too much time spend on business that should've gone to Belle and Beast (like the whole Gaston-song --it's a good song, but it doesn't contribute anything to the story). Belle is not a strong character either. She has no clear motivation, like Ariel and Aladdin. She's very passive. I don't know why I should care for her.

I've seen better Disney movies.

[Super Aurora]

I like Jpanimation's review on Green Lantern and Captain America.

I haven't seen the live action one but I have seen both of the DTV animated ones. I don't know which one he was referring two, but I find those to be quite decent. Especially the second one as it's more of various people telling their perspective tale to a newbie in what's being a Green Lantern means to them and others. The first movie I can see why JPanimation doesn't like it. I was a bit annoyed myself with the random and drastic change of Boodaka's personality and alliance. In the comic she was never an evil traitor or evil to begin with. So this so called "plot twist" I found to be bit pointless and stupid. She was much better off remaining as a good guy who cares for Hal's well being than a traitor who end up getting killed pointlessly anyway. Her traitor plot twist was pointless and stupid unlike's Aizen's in bleach which as amazing.


As for Captain America. To me, I really like it a lot. I think it's the time period it set in that really did it for me lol. But I think I like it as I find Captain America to be very human and someone to relate to. Evans gave Steve Rogers as a character that isn't overblown or flashy, but gave him a character of more human associated emotions and actions. Iron Man and Batman tend to get a bit overblown imo, even though both of them gave great performances as well.

[TheSequelOfDisney]

This weekend I watched:

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 (with Maximum Movie Mode)

[dvdjunkie]

Rustler's Rhapsody (1985) DVD

It has been several years since I watched this comedy-western that set the bar high for any others that may come down the line. Starring Tom Berenger as Rex O'Herlihan, the Singing Cowboy, this is one hilariously funny movie with one-liners coming at you left and right so quick you have to watch it a second time to catch up on those that you missed. Co-starring Fernando Rey, G.W. Bailey, Marilu Henner and Andy Griffith, this is the story of a western hero who is dressed all in white and rides a stallion named Wildfire, who rides into the tackiest town in the West to do good deeds and rid the West of all the bad guys. Now this is how a comedy is made. Written and Directed by Hugh Wilson, who was responsible for Police Academy, the laughs come at you a mile a minute. Watch for Patrick Wayne in a hilarious cameo role. On the Junkie Meter this one gets a strong 4 out of five stars.


D.A.R.Y.L. (1985) DVD

I would dare anyone to show me something about this movie not to like. It is heartwarming, loving, and not over-acted in any way by any of the stars of this science-fiction film about a young boy who has amazing powers and abilities. Data Analyzing Robotic Youth Lifeform is what the acronym Daryl stands for. This movie only asks you to suspend your disbelief in the fact that a machine can be a real life-form. Daryl comes into the picture as a boy lost in the forest after the car he was riding in becomes disabled. He is found and placed in a temporary foster home with loving foster parents protrayed by Michael McKean and Mary Beth Hurt. Daryl fits into their life perfectly and learns to play baseball and video games and he meets and make friends with another boy who is nicknamed Turtle. Government scientiests step in the way of the happy family and Daryl is taken to an isolated compound to be de-briefed and deactivated. He escapes and leads them on a very thrilling chase involving a jet airplane and a faked death. This movie has it all and is truly a family film to be enjoyed by everyone from 3 to 103. On the Junkie Meter this film gets a very strong 4 out of five stars for entertainment value.



The Manhattan Project (1986) DVD

Another science fiction thriller from the eighties starring John Lithgow, Christopher Collet (The Langoliers), and Cynthia Nixon (Sex In The City). Teenage science genius Paul (Collet) suspects his mom's new boyfriend (Lithgow) doesn't work for a company that builds lasers, rather they are developing nuclear weapons. Paul and his girlfiend, Jenny (Nixon) set out to expose him for what he really is. Paul and Jenny plan to steal some plutonium and make a home-made bomb and enter it in the Manhattan Science Fair, but the military learns of this and thus begins a chase to the finish and a very non-cop-out ending of a terrific film directed by Martin Rickman. On the Junkie Meter this one gets a very good 3.5 out of 5 stars.

[PixarFan2006]

I just realized I rarely post on this topic anymore.

Planes, Trains and Automobiles (1987) - A Thanksgiving must watch for me. Also, a good example of a comedy that proves that anything that can go wrong will go wrong (Also works for National Lampoons Vacation). Steve Martin is good as a frustrated father who wants to get home in time for Thanksgiving and John Candy steals every scene he's in. The infamous car rental scene and Candy lip synching to Ray Charles' The Mess Around are highlights for me.

8/10

[TheSequelOfDisney]

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (with Maximum Movie Mode)


It took me awhile to finally warm up to HBP, but I really think it's one of my favorite of the Potter films. I actually kind of want to read the novel now.

[slave2moonlight]

I just watched some movie on Hallmark Channel. Didn't even catch the title, but it was about neighbors fighting over who had a better Christmas display. It was a pretty cheesy rip-off of that Danny DeVito/Matthew Broderick movie, Deck the Halls (unless this one is older, but it didn't look old), and the acting was all over the place. It was pretty bad, honestly, though the plot resolution, at least, the good deed they did at the end, was kind of clever. Still poorly played out, so rushed, as the whole movie felt, but I liked that particular idea. I mainly watched it because it starred Matt Frewer, whom I've always loved and felt was underrated (he was the original Jim Carrey, seriously; Jim Carrey is Matt Frewer and John Ritter combined and on cocaine, but I like Jim, don't get me wrong), and what's his name (I know it, but it's escaping me at the moment) from Home Alone. The Wet (or Sticky) Bandit. The tall one (not Pesci). With them, I figured it couldn't be all bad. The Sticky Bandit's daughter was really cute too. Why is there ALWAYS a cute, teen daughter in family movies? Never mind, I know why. Yeah, all these movies are very formulaic, that's why family movies are so looked down upon nowadays. Anyways, it was okay. Most of these cable Christmas movies are okay at best.

[Barbossa]

Watched:
Cool Runnings - because... yesterday during coffee break at work, I caught a little bit of Bobsled action at the track - where the Jamaicans slid into the history books and the movie was filmed. Unfortunately the Jamaicans weren't there this weekend, but I snapped this photo of one of the American teams:



Notice since the movie was filmed, the start shack was painted from gray with red trim to gray with blue trim. The competition this weekend was the America's Cup.

Cool Runnings is in need of a Blu-Ray release, with perhaps a few bonus features like a documentary about the original '88 Jamaican Bobsled team. Oh, the Jamaican bobsled from the movie is still at the park, but it's stashed somewhere in the main lodge.

[Goliath]

Bo (2010)

Flemish film about a teenage girl who slowly gets wrapped up in the world of prostitution. It was all utterly predictable. Everybody who has ever seen a movie or read a magazine story on the subject could have seen every turn coming miles ahead. So, there was no real shock effect in it, to me, and the cinematography was very conventional, too, and the performances were only so-so. All in all, I wouldn't recommend it to others, unless they're willing to set the bar very low.

[jpanimation]

North by Northwest (1959) 8.5/10 - Still my favorite Hitchcock! Whacky fun all the way through, better then any James Bond movie. My only problems with this movie are the drunk driving scene (Hitch also didn't like it, and tried it again in Family Plot) and the FBI explanation scene after the UN murder (it's redundant, since the information all comes later in the movie and it's clumsily executed and stagey). Other then that, this really is an energetic and addictive movie. I'm really excited a non-digibook Blu-ray is coming to the states!

[Lazario]

Take Me Home Tonight (2011 / directed by: Michael Dowse)



Don't ask me how I got sucked into this one. The important thing is: it is really, really bad. The "I don't know where to start" kind of really, really bad. It looked expensive. So, I know they definitely... had a big budget. Anna Faris and Chris Pratt were good. And Topher Grace was okay. But, would you be thinking about that (were you to be watching a similar movie) if every word out of every character's mouth were as stupid as this? Yes, this is one of those really dumb movies. All it was missing was someone in drag, a dwarf, and a fart joke. Then it would literally be an Adam Sandler movie. I care not to dwell anymore on the pain this movie caused me. I just want that 2.5 hours of my life back! (The movie is 97 minutes long. But I had to pause it about 40 times just so my brain could process the full shock of how awful, how cliched, and how dumb this thing was.) The only things worth thinking about are (can you already see where I'm going with this) how lip-bitingly good Chris Pratt looks when he's not filming (or getting ready for filming) Parks and Recreation (by gaining about 30 pounds so he looks like a lovably chubby pig) and how equally surprised I was to see Topher Grace had some muscles. (Actually, anyone can have muscles- Topher's a hottie.)