dalek invasion fanfic

[bradhig]

What a grouch I went out of my way to fix the story and this is what I get? Lots of people write fanfiction. There's even a site called fanfiction.net

This make me feel I am wasting my time and writing stuff like this is my calling.

[Disney Duster]

Okay I read the latest one and...I was interested, I wanted to know what happened. I was curious and there was some mystery, and I wanted to know how they would get out of their situation.

The way some people were exterminated showed this all destructive force was powerful and bad and terrible and I felt bad.

The ending was actually quite funny and I liked it.

However, you will want to maybe very carefully re-read your stories after you write them, looking for mistakes, put in commas and periods and other grammar.

You don't describe very much at all. I didn't know much about Dr. Who so I didn't know what a lot of things you said were or did. You could explain things more. You can always describe things even if you think people already know who they are and what they look like. Describe people, places, things, and details.

You may however be best at coming up with stories, so you might want to actually come up with your idea and then ask someone to write in details and other things for you. Someone who's a friend an who would like to do it and work with you.

You also may want to put more emotion and letting us know the characters more, too, but maybe that is not what you really feel you need to do or want to do either. And maybe someone you knew could put that in for you, too, if you wanted. Though I did think it was good a little bit moving when Cinderella said that her father used to take her swimming before he died, and I think some other moments. But more emotion and character showing might be good.

[bradhig]

I don't know where commas are missing I went through it and replaced missing quotes. I can't stand this. There is always something wrong with it.

[bradhig]

http://sfstlskyway.com/troubledallek.doc


Here is the sequel its not very long but I was cracking up as I wrote it and uploaded it to my site. What happens to the Daleks is hilarious.

[Chernabog_Rocks]

Well. It was easier to read.

Quick notes. I recall reading "cheat" and in the sentence it should have been a different word. Also "Emperor" constantly changes from being correct to incorrect especially on the third page.

Biggest problem. You rushed it again. You tried to get from A to Z without enjoying the rest of the alphabet. I'm sure you have ideas, but you need to flesh them out over several chapters instead of four pages.

Also, lack of description again hampers things. Not everyone knows Doctor Who or the Daleks and how things work for them, so you need to explain a bit more in detail.

[bradhig]

I fixed that Emporer spellings and the word chest. I never rush when writing these things. This story is supposed to be funny given what happens to the poor Daleks.

[Chernabog_Rocks]

I don't mean rush as in you write it in a day or really really fast. Here's my example of rush.

Villains announce their evil plot, we cut our heroes just as the villains show up right away and everything is resolved. The End.

Rushed.

You didn't take your time to show different events and stretch it out over multiple chapters. Four page stories just don't work well because you won't be able to fit everything you need in them. No detail, emotion, growth, plot etc. You can have some elements sure, but it would never be as good as stretching them out.

[bradhig]

Day of the Romanovs

The tardis is sent spinning out of control through the time vortex. The doctor crash lands in Ekaterinburg 1918. The city has become overrun with Kaled Mutants. The doctor and one family are all that stand between them and world conquest but can the doctor trust the Bolsheviks?

http://sfstlskyway.com/dayofromanovs.txt

[Dr Frankenollie]

Day of the Romanovs

The tardis is sent spinning out of control through the time vortex. The doctor crash lands in Ekaterinburg 1918. The city has become overrun with Kaled Mutants. The doctor and one family are all that stand between them and world conquest but can the doctor trust the Bolsheviks?

http://sfstlskyway.com/dayofromanovs.txt

I'm sorry, but I only skimmed through it; it was too flawed to read fully. First of all, I highly doubt the Doctor would say that the Bolsheviks are the closest things humans have to Daleks, and I also highly doubt the Daleks would ever say: "Fat chance!" Also, it's filled with multiple spelling errors and grammatical errors, with practically one of each on every line.

I think you'd be suited better writing scripts, as you obviously don't like descriptions of any kind.

[bradhig]

Try reading stuff on fanfic.net few there are very descriptive.

[bradhig]

I fixed as much as I could find.

[bradhig]

stop complaining about descriptions. Most stuff should be fairly obvious what it is. I am sick of the description stuff already. I am trying to bring ideas to life and all people do is whine and complain about what is wrong.

[Dr Frankenollie]

I fixed as much as I could find.

There are still grammatical errors. I've fixed several early sentences for you with the changes in bold.

The door flew open and the Doctor could see a night sky filled with stars above and snowed covered mountains below. A city came into view. The doctor could make out very little detail except lights on in many locations.

"Dematerialize or people will see us!' The doctor screamed.

The Eleventh Doctor struggled with the creature for control of the TARDIS, but it was no use they just kept flying out of control.

The TARDIS tilted violently and the door flew open again. Kaled mutants fell through the control room and out the door.

Below in a house a group of men were entering a small cellar room where another group of people were waiting. One man pulled out a piece of paper and started reading from it when Kaled mutants fell all over the group. The mutants began biting the men in order to kill them.

"Land this crate now!" ordered the Doctor.

The mutant kept knocking the Doctor back with its tentacles.

The group in the cellar watched as the tardis materialized near the window. The tardis fell and landed at an angle. It was leaning to the right with the top of the roof laying on the wall near the door.

The door opened and a hand appeared holding a Kaled mutant, then the mutant was kicked.

Even if all of the grammar/spelling was correct, it's a bit rushed and needs more description.

stop complaining about descriptions. Most stuff should be fairly obvious what it is. I am sick of the description stuff already. I am trying to bring ideas to life and all people do is whine and complain about what is wrong.

If you can't take even constructive criticism, then you may as well stop writing.

[bradhig]

No one said TARDIS had to be capitalized and no said Doctor had to be capitalized either. The grammar checker never picks up on that.

[Dr Frankenollie]

No one said TARDIS had to be capitalized and no said Doctor had to be capitalized either. The grammar checker never picks up on that.

'The Doctor' is the Doctor's name so it has to be capitalised. Also, according to the TV series and countless tie-in books, the TARDIS has to be capitalised too (and besides it would have to be capitalised anyway as it's an acronym).

[bradhig]

No one said TARDIS had to be capitalized and no said Doctor had to be capitalized either. The grammar checker never picks up on that.

'The Doctor' is the Doctor's name so it has to be capitalised. Also, according to the TV series and countless tie-in books, the TARDIS has to be capitalised too (and besides it would have to be capitalised anyway as it's an acronym).

Now you tell me.

My Time Tunnel fafic called Time of Special Purpose has a lot more description in it but I don't know if it is enough. I don't wanna spend a lot of time describing the Time Tunnel Complex ,the house of special purpose ,etc.

[Dr Frankenollie]

Now you tell me.

What?! You expect me to give you an in-depth lesson in grammar?

My Time Tunnel fafic called Time of Special Purpose has a lot more description in it but I don't know if it is enough. I don't wanna spend a lot of time describing the Time Tunnel Complex ,the house of special purpose ,etc.

If you don't spend some time with descriptions, then it will unequivocally end up being a weak story.

[bradhig]

Now you tell me.

What?! You expect me to give you an in-depth lesson in grammar?

My Time Tunnel fafic called Time of Special Purpose has a lot more description in it but I don't know if it is enough. I don't wanna spend a lot of time describing the Time Tunnel Complex ,the house of special purpose ,etc.

If you don't spend some time with descriptions, then it will unequivocally end up being a weak story.

I didn't know that before about writing the Doctor and TARDIS okay.

[Dr Frankenollie]

What?! You expect me to give you an in-depth lesson in grammar?

I didn't know that before about writing the Doctor and TARDIS okay.

That was obvious; I was sarcastically pointing out the silliness of your statement 'Now you tell me'. Am I telepathic? How am I supposed to know that you didn't know?

[bradhig]

The stories go through my mind even at work. Once they are written down they usually disappear from my mind but not always.