How to be Tactful at the UltimateDisney/DVDizzy Forums

[Mayhem]

Freedom of speech, yes. Freedom to make yourself look like an idiot when opening your mouth (or in this case, moving your fingers), definitely as well heh.

As the old saying I believe from Mark Twain goes: "Better you keep your mouth shut and let people think you an idiot, lest open it and prove them correct."

You've been using the Internet since 1992? You must have really been amongst the first using it (relatively speaking, that is; considering that billions of people use it, being amongst the first two or three million classes you as one of the first to use it ).

Just going for a quick derail here... a friend of mine went to university the year before me, so I got to "try out" the internet when I visited them every so often. This was back in 1992. Every student had an email address as standard, plus he'd figured out how to access something called IRC (and he was responsible for compiling the client I would use later on for it in Unix), and knew about Yahoo for searching for whatever websites existed at the time.

When I started university the following year (1993), I was a bit ahead of the game compared to many other folks in my year. Back in the days when downloads took forever, campus had near today's broadband speeds by comparison. When Hotmail didn't exist, Yahoo was the default search engine (and then Alta Vista), when images were usually under 20k each, digital video was almost unheard of, and the browser competition was between Mosaic (before Microsoft bought a license and it became IE) and Netscape Navigator.

Anyone remember GOPHER?

[The_Iceflash]

What you guys think about the Tea Party is completely irrelevant to the point I was making. That thread was just a small example about tact. You guys may not "give a damn" but that's entirely the point about tact. It's exactly the problem you have with this thread. It's not "giving a damn" about what others think nor "giving a damn" about whether or not something we say will offend someone else. Being outspoken and opinionated is not a good trait. Making obnoxious comments toward others isn't a good thing and it doesn't make for a good environment. Politics and Religion are two things people are very passionate about because for many it defines who they are. Being tactful there to me is more important than anywhere else. Most people are going to shrug off remarks about a favorite movie or character. When remarks are made toward issues involving Politics and Religion people take that personally. As a result, we should be more sensitive to that.

[Goliath]

What you guys think about the Tea Party is completely irrelevant to the point I was making. That thread was just a small example about tact. You guys may not "give a damn" but that's entirely the point about tact. It's exactly the problem you have with this thread. It's not "giving a damn" about what others think nor "giving a damn" about whether or not something we say will offend someone else.

You must have read only half of my response when you started to typ your reply. I specifically explained how I always take into account that my opinion is only relative and that other people are free to disagree. I said I always consider other people's feelings. But yes, I do draw lines in the sand occasionally. The Tea Party is only one example. Like I said, I'm not going to watch my tone when discussing gay-bashers, or racists, or anti-semites. There are plenty of examples when I think one shouldn't have to be sensitive to the other side. There is something like principles, and I will defend them.

To put it differently: I don't feel I have to be tolerant toward the intolerant; or respectdul toward the disrespectful. You reap what you sow. That's how it works in the world.

Being outspoken and opinionated is not a good trait.

Yes, it is. If people weren't outspoken and opinionated, this forum wouldn't exist. A forum is meant for speaking your mind out and giving your opinions --and to read other people's opinions.

Politics and Religion are two things people are very passionate about because for many it defines who they are. Being tactful there to me is more important than anywhere else.

That depends on the issues that are being discussed and it depends on how the other person is voicing his opinion. If it's a rational discussion in which you exchange points of view and you back them up with facts and sources, I will always be civil. But if people are claiming that their truth is the Only Possible Truth In The Universe; or if they say things that are offensive; or if they follow politicians or religious leaders who advocate hate and fear, I'm going to call them on it.

Most people are going to shrug off remarks about a favorite movie or character.

Er... have you ever discussed Louis the alligator with DisneyJedi?

When remarks are made toward issues involving Politics and Religion people take that personally. As a result, we should be more sensitive to that.

I will be sensitive. Unless people are supporting politicians/policies or religious leaders who advocate gay-bashing, or racism, or theocracy, or terrorism, or violence etc.. Like almost *all* the Tea Party candidates.

[Wonderlicious]

Not that I want to bust anyone's bubble, but...

This thread is starting to be derailed, please keep the political posts out of this thread. There are plenty of other politically related threads to discuss politics in.

Let's at least respect that wish. I'm not trying to patronise anyone, but there is a thread for the "Tea Party" stuff, and it's currently active. This is about forum etiquette, not politics, however controversial or uncontroversial the topic at hand may be.

I don't feel I have to be tolerant toward the intolerant; or respectful toward the disrespectful. You reap what you sow. That's how it works in the world.

Regardless of who's being intolerant, this is a very true statement.

::ducks::

[Goliath]

Not that I want to bust anyone's bubble, but...

This thread is starting to be derailed, please keep the political posts out of this thread. There are plenty of other politically related threads to discuss politics in.

Let's at least respect that wish. I'm not trying to patronise anyone, but there is a thread for the "Tea Party" stuff, and it's currently active. This is about forum etiquette, not politics, however controversial or uncontroversial the topic at hand may be.

My last post was about forum etiquette. It was a reply to The_Iceflash's comments about how one should behave at a discussion forum.

[Tangled]

Thanks so much! I also don't think it's acceptable saying something like this-
On a thread about Toy Story 3

Poster One: I loved Beauty and the Beast! I didn't like Toy Story 3, can we talk about something else?

Poster Two: Ok! Always I liked the music...

I hate it when people completely change the subject on a thread. Stick to the thread guys...

[Scarred4life]

I hate it when people completely change the subject on a thread. Stick to the thread guys...

That's more of a rule than just trying to be considerate.

[The_Iceflash]

Since some people apparently need a reminder, I decided to bring this thread back to life.


On a related note, I'm getting tired of condescending attitudes of some.

[Lazario]

I don't think I get your signature. What does it mean?

[Goliath]

I think another good idea to keep the forums fun to visit... is to not take every opinion a person ever uttered personally. In other words: don't assume that an opinion a person makes on a certain subject means he/she is attacking you personally. Don't think the forum revolves around you and your opinions, or that everybody who disagrees with your tastes is "out to get you". It's also a good idea to not concoct wild theories and throw out unbased accusations against fellow forum members, every time he/she expresses an opinion that goes contrary to yours. Accusing fellow forum members of so-called 'hidden agendas' makes you look rather silly.

[Escapay]

I had meant to comment on this thread when it first was posted, but kept forgetting to until it was revived again.

I agree wholeheartedly with everything that pap has written. UD is not like every other internet forum, and there are certain standards and expectations of the people that post here. It may not be officially written into the forum guidelines, but it's expected that things like language and context always be family-friendly. Occasionally, it steers too far away from what is acceptable, both on this forum and in the internet in general. Too many people consider the internet a free-range gray area where we can say whatever we want and just hide behind the screen. After all, it's just words that people read, right? But what most of us fail to realize is that how we personally view words is differently from how others view words. I'm not saying we should censor ourselves to avoid offending, but really to consider what kind of "audience" the words are going to. It's not common to read curse words on a Disney forum, and I personally prefer if such colorful language were turned down. I'm no prude by any means, I curse like a a drunken sailor when I'm driving, but when I sit down at my computer and peruse through the forums here, it used to be extremely rare to see certain words. Now, probably 1/4 of the forum regulars curse and think nothing of it.

I've been at UD for over six years, and only in the last year and a half have I seen such a dramatic shift in the overall environment and tone of the boards. It's heading in a direction that I've been less enthused about, and some people will say, "That's the nature of the internet! Get over it!" I know I should, but it's disheartening at times when one of my favorite places to visit online has sometimes become an afterthought rather than a priority. I used to post multiple times a day every day and lately find myself posting only a few times during one visit a day.

This is why I was glad to see a thread like this made. It was an attempt to get the posting environment to be less hostile and more friendly. But if the past month has been any indication, the hostility has only increased.

albert

[Lazario]

I've been at UD for over six years, and only in the last year and a half have I seen such a dramatic shift in the overall environment and tone of the boards. It's heading in a direction that I've been less enthused about, and some people will say, "That's the nature of the internet! Get over it!" I know I should, but it's disheartening at times when one of my favorite places to visit online has sometimes become an afterthought rather than a priority. I used to post multiple times a day every day and lately find myself posting only a few times during one visit a day.

This is why I was glad to see a thread like this made. It was an attempt to get the posting environment to be less hostile and more friendly. But if the past month has been any indication, the hostility has only increased.

Hold on there a minute... Remember how bad things were when Papi Bear was here? The whole board was in an uproar. There've been dark months here before. Prior discussions of abortion, all of which went south. Users calling each other "faggot" (for the record- anyone know if UncleEd was one of them?). DVDjunkie and me fighting like cats and dogs over politics. Luke told me himself the board's tone was in a bad way- and this was 2007. If things have gotten worse since then- yikes! But I don't see how. No bannings. No suspensions. BlackPearl and Waltmad have taken a hike (far as I know). And I know I've been pretty respectful in the religious discussions with Duster.

Where else have these problems been re-occuring? Elsewhere than political discussions or there too?

[Escapay]

I've been at UD for over six years, and only in the last year and a half have I seen such a dramatic shift in the overall environment and tone of the boards. It's heading in a direction that I've been less enthused about, and some people will say, "That's the nature of the internet! Get over it!" I know I should, but it's disheartening at times when one of my favorite places to visit online has sometimes become an afterthought rather than a priority. I used to post multiple times a day every day and lately find myself posting only a few times during one visit a day.

This is why I was glad to see a thread like this made. It was an attempt to get the posting environment to be less hostile and more friendly. But if the past month has been any indication, the hostility has only increased.

Hold on there a minute... Remember how bad things were when Papi Bear was here? The whole board was in an uproar. There've been dark months here before. Prior discussions of abortion, all of which went south. Users calling each other "faggot" (for the record- anyone know if UncleEd was one of them?). DVDjunkie and me fighting like cats and dogs over politics. Luke told me himself the board's tone was in a bad way- and this was 2007. If things have gotten worse since then- yikes! But I don't see how. No bannings. No suspensions. BlackPearl and Waltmad have taken a hike (far as I know). And I know I've been pretty respectful in the religious discussions with Duster.

Where else have these problems been re-occuring? Elsewhere than political discussions or there too?

But the difference between 2007 and the past 18 months has been that while there were arguments, it was never to the extent and regularity that we've seen here. They'd come and go, they were not an everyday occurrence. In addition, while there were arguments, they could still be balanced out or overtaken by the ability to peruse through a variety of threads that one could follow without having to be prepared for hostility. Nowadays half the threads here have a sense of hostility in them (either it starts off early or eventually devolves into it) no matter what the intentions are, and it's upsetting because it's becoming regular behavior rather than an occasional distraction.

2007 was a shocker of a year because it was the first time that UD discussions ever got so vitriolic. The following year was a bit more tame, but in 2009/2010 it's practically become commonplace. While there have been no bannings to the extent of PapiBear or UncleEd, there has been a shift in the type of posting that goes on, so much so that some regulars do leave without any notice, or post far less frequently than they used to. Most of the regulars these days seem to be from 2008 or later, and the few of us that are still pre-2006 gets smaller and smaller every month. Just using the NJ Trilogy for an example, Jane stopped posting in 2006, came back for a couple months in 2009, but hasn't bothered since because she didn't like how the forum was compared to when she left. Kram attempts to keep up with UD, but very rarely posts, and is still amazed that some people remember who he is. And I've been taking yearly monthlong breaks (that I always wish would go unnoticed, but they don't) since 2007 simply because it's easier to cut UD out of my life for awhile and return in the hopes that things might've changed in the meantime.

Maybe I was too generous by saying this behavior has only been noticeable in the past 18 months. Maybe I should have extended it to 2007. But for me personally, it's only been since about early/mid 2009 or so that I've found myself really feeling less and less excited about checking UD during my daily round-up of internet sites.

albert

[The_Iceflash]

I don't think I get your signature. What does it mean?

Mine?

[Lazario]

Yeah.

(Escapay, I'm still reading your post.)

[Super Aurora]

I'm probably going to leave this forum damn forum for awhile. When you have uptight people like CJ deleting a fun post like mine's in the Top Ten thread(that took me hours to make) that everyone thought was funny. Then there really is no hope.

So, so long UD. Enjoy being boring and bland.

[AwallaceUNC]

I'm probably going to leave this forum damn forum for awhile. When you have uptight people like CJ deleting a fun post like mine's in the Top Ten thread(that took me hours to make) that everyone thought was funny. Then there really is no hope.

So, so long UD. Enjoy being boring and bland.

Your personal attack on CJ is a violation of our community guidelines, which are conveniently posted at the top of this forum.

Your use of an expletive and pejoratives in describing this community are also certainly unwelcome. Should you choose to stay here or return, you might find the community more to your liking if you engage it with a friendlier and more constructive tone. Regardless, personal attacks will not be permitted. Thank you.

[Lazario]

I'm probably going to leave this forum damn forum for awhile. When you have uptight people like CJ deleting a fun post like mine's in the Top Ten thread(that took me hours to make) that everyone thought was funny. Then there really is no hope.

So, so long UD. Enjoy being boring and bland.

Your use of an expletive and pejoratives in describing this community are also certainly unwelcome.

THIS IS JUST A QUESTION:

Are you saying the "D" word is considered an expletive here?

[Escapay]

(Escapay, I'm still reading your post.)

Okay. I look forward to your response.

albert

[Elladorine]

I've been at UD for over six years, and only in the last year and a half have I seen such a dramatic shift in the overall environment and tone of the boards. It's heading in a direction that I've been less enthused about, and some people will say, "That's the nature of the internet! Get over it!" I know I should, but it's disheartening at times when one of my favorite places to visit online has sometimes become an afterthought rather than a priority. I used to post multiple times a day every day and lately find myself posting only a few times during one visit a day.

This is why I was glad to see a thread like this made. It was an attempt to get the posting environment to be less hostile and more friendly. But if the past month has been any indication, the hostility has only increased.

Agreed. The atmosphere here lately has been especially hostile and argumentative. Instead of seeing the informative, friendly, goofy posts I used to enjoy, I see a lot of bickering that no amount of positive energy can lighten up. In fact, it seems that any attempts made to lighten things up is only met with further hostility.