Episode 3: Revenge of the Gays, Are You One Too?

[Goliath]

Don't most nations have gay marriage over there?

Er... no.

The Netherlands were the first country to legalize same-sex marriage in 2002. (I'm sorry, but I just always have to gloat about that.) Unfortunately, in Aruba and the Netherlands Antilles (officially part of our kingdom) same-sex marriages are recognized, but not performed. Yet. But the Dutch government is working on that.

Belgium (our neighbors to the south) followed in 2003. The deeply catholic Spain okay'ed it in 2005, after a fierce campaign in favor of it, by the newly elected socialist government of Zapatero. In 2009, Sweden and Norway allowed same-sex marriage.

Civil unions and registred partnerships for same-sex couples exist in Austria, Denmark, Finland, France, Germany, United Kingdom, Luxembourg, Switzerland, Iceland, Andorra, Hungary, Czech Republic and Slovenia.

However, those last three countries are part of a what's called "the former Eastern European bloc" (having been under USSR occupation or been sattelite states until 1990), where in general the public opinion is very, very (very) anti-gay. In Eastern Europe, people in general are very conservative (and very religious) and gays face a lot of discrimination and intimidation.

Outside of Europe, gay marriage is legal in Canada (2005) and South-Africa (yep, a third-world nation, in 2006) and performed in some jurisdictions in Mexico and the US (6 states).

[jpanimation]

Civil unions and registred partnerships for same-sex couples exist in Austria, Denmark, Finland, France, Germany, United Kingdom, Luxembourg, Switzerland, Iceland, Andorra, Hungary, Czech Republic and Slovenia.

I don't think it will be too long before America gets this. I think the word "marriage" scares a lot of religious people but polls show that some of those same people opposing same-sex marriage also support civil unions and registred partnerships (hopefully with the same amount of rights granted).

If they put that on a ballot, I think it would pass easily, and it would be one step closer towards equality. Now whether they would need to repeal the Defense of Marriage Act first, I don't know, since it specifically mentions marriage.

[PrincePhillipFan]

I know this is terribly belated, and slightly going off the current topic, but the recent event of the lesbian student who was unable to attend the prom reminded me of something we're doing this semester at my own school. Myself and the rest of our GLBT group at college (which sadly now only consists of the six of us) is planning an all community dance, fully open to both heterosexual and homosexual couples, and in casual attire. We had actually planned this before the recent news of the whole prom incident, but now we're all doubly happy to be involved in such an organization. Unfortunately we've been having stallings from our school board for the allocation to officially host it, but hopefully we will soon. I'm not really holding my breath though since our club advisor (who's also a gay professor at the university) has stated that the board has a long history of homophobia or ignoring GLBT matters. Just hope we'll be allowed to push ahead with it.

Also, slightly both school and GLBT related as well, reminded me of a humorous incident and cruel joke my acting teacher played on me on Friday. I and one of my classmates were participating in an acting exercise before our classmates where the one person on the stage (in this case it was me) is supposed to react to the situation that my teacher secretly told him (my other friend). I had to figure out the situation on my own from his silent gestures, and the only clue she gave me is "You're two roommates and friends in college." So my friend comes in, and he keeps walking over and smiling to me, sitting beside me, and holding my hands and grinning. I think the whole point is that he's trying to flirt with me and ask me out, so I respond by pulling him closer to me and trying to flirt back. The teacher then stops us, and after a few tries of guessing, we finally guess that ironically he's playing the part of my friend who's coming out of the closet to me...and I have to play the raging and in denial homophobe. I told to her, "But I'm bisexual! That like goes against everything I stand for!" She just smiled to me and said "But you're also an actor!" and so I had to try as best I could. Just felt like it was a cruel fun little joke on her part since she already knew I was bisexual before, but I think I handled the performance pretty well in the end.

[Lazario]

Just a little news:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/us_gays_census

I'll leave it up to y'all to decide if it's really good or more of the same.

[ajmrowland]

I know this is terribly belated, and slightly going off the current topic, but the recent event of the lesbian student who was unable to attend the prom reminded me of something we're doing this semester at my own school. Myself and the rest of our GLBT group at college (which sadly now only consists of the six of us) is planning an all community dance, fully open to both heterosexual and homosexual couples, and in casual attire. We had actually planned this before the recent news of the whole prom incident, but now we're all doubly happy to be involved in such an organization. Unfortunately we've been having stallings from our school board for the allocation to officially host it, but hopefully we will soon. I'm not really holding my breath though since our club advisor (who's also a gay professor at the university) has stated that the board has a long history of homophobia or ignoring GLBT matters. Just hope we'll be allowed to push ahead with it.

Also, slightly both school and GLBT related as well, reminded me of a humorous incident and cruel joke my acting teacher played on me on Friday. I and one of my classmates were participating in an acting exercise before our classmates where the one person on the stage (in this case it was me) is supposed to react to the situation that my teacher secretly told him (my other friend). I had to figure out the situation on my own from his silent gestures, and the only clue she gave me is "You're two roommates and friends in college." So my friend comes in, and he keeps walking over and smiling to me, sitting beside me, and holding my hands and grinning. I think the whole point is that he's trying to flirt with me and ask me out, so I respond by pulling him closer to me and trying to flirt back. The teacher then stops us, and after a few tries of guessing, we finally guess that ironically he's playing the part of my friend who's coming out of the closet to me...and I have to play the raging and in denial homophobe. I told to her, "But I'm bisexual! That like goes against everything I stand for!" She just smiled to me and said "But you're also an actor!" and so I had to try as best I could. Just felt like it was a cruel fun little joke on her part since she already knew I was bisexual before, but I think I handled the performance pretty well in the end.

That must be a bit embarassing!

[Margos]

Just a little news:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/us_gays_census

I'll leave it up to y'all to decide if it's really good or more of the same.

Sounds like a step in the right direction to me!

[Duckburger]

The comment section, however, not so much.
Yahoo is even worse than YouTube... well, almost.

But bigots can rejoice since the form was apparantly sent before this message was posted, so most will probably already have sent in theirs with "unmarried partner" checked. That's the government for ya (- even though I'm not American , always fun to say ).

[singerguy04]

I know in the US there are states outside of the 6 that accept gay marriage that will allow civil unions already. I live in Illinois and two of my mother's gay friends were granted a civil union. Unfortunately one of them died from AIDS weeks prior to the ceremony. It was heartbreaking because they weren't able to see each other before the one died due to it happening prior to the union. His family was completely against his lifestyle and forbid his boyfriend to see him on his deathbed. They also refused to go see him themselves so he died alone. That's when I became interested in gay rights, and when my mom decided to come to better terms with my coming out. She wasn't anti-gay, obviously, but I am the only child on her side of the family so it's been hard for everyone on her side.

Beyond that, not to play the poor me card or anything, I completely suck at meeting guys so there isn't a whole lot to worry about lol!

[Lazario]

I know in the US there are states outside of the 6 that accept gay marriage that will allow civil unions already. I live in Illinois and two of my mother's gay friends were granted a civil union. Unfortunately one of them died from AIDS weeks prior to the ceremony. It was heartbreaking because they weren't able to see each other before the one died due to it happening prior to the union. His family was completely against his lifestyle and forbid his boyfriend to see him on his deathbed. They also refused to go see him themselves so he died alone. That's when I became interested in gay rights, and when my mom decided to come to better terms with my coming out. She wasn't anti-gay, obviously, but I am the only child on her side of the family so it's been hard for everyone on her side.

Beyond that, not to play the poor me card or anything, I completely suck at meeting guys so there isn't a whole lot to worry about lol!

That's a very important story and I don't mean to derail any part of that by getting involved just to tell you I object to something you said above.

To call being gay a "lifestyle" means you see it as being the same as the way a person dresses, what we eat, what we do with our free time, and what entertainment we enjoy. Smoking is a lifestyle choice. Being attracted to the gender you're attracted to as we both know is not a choice.

Sorry if any of that annoyed you, I just like to keep the record clear for everyone. I'm sure a lot of people still don't know that and continue to make the mistake of regarding homosexuality as being a lifestyle.

[Margos]

Aww, singerguy... what a tragic story! I can't believe there are still people like this.

So... how many people are doing the Day of Silence tomorrow!? I am, and it's my first time... I have no idea how I'm going to go a whole day without speaking...

[singerguy04]

I know in the US there are states outside of the 6 that accept gay marriage that will allow civil unions already. I live in Illinois and two of my mother's gay friends were granted a civil union. Unfortunately one of them died from AIDS weeks prior to the ceremony. It was heartbreaking because they weren't able to see each other before the one died due to it happening prior to the union. His family was completely against his lifestyle and forbid his boyfriend to see him on his deathbed. They also refused to go see him themselves so he died alone. That's when I became interested in gay rights, and when my mom decided to come to better terms with my coming out. She wasn't anti-gay, obviously, but I am the only child on her side of the family so it's been hard for everyone on her side.

Beyond that, not to play the poor me card or anything, I completely suck at meeting guys so there isn't a whole lot to worry about lol!

That's a very important story and I don't mean to derail any part of that by getting involved just to tell you I object to something you said above.

To call being gay a "lifestyle" means you see it as being the same as the way a person dresses, what we eat, what we do with our free time, and what entertainment we enjoy. Smoking is a lifestyle choice. Being attracted to the gender you're attracted to as we both know is not a choice.

Sorry if any of that annoyed you, I just like to keep the record clear for everyone. I'm sure a lot of people still don't know that and continue to make the mistake of regarding homosexuality as being a lifestyle.

I typed that from my phone this morning and meant to put the "lifestyle" in quotations. As in using it in reference how they said it, or how his parents thought they understood it. I know it's much much more than a lifestyle. I've known my entire life I was gay and understand completely that I really had no choice in the matter. I'm just not attracted to girls and I know I never will be. That goes for many other people as well.

[universALLove]

Yeah, I really don't get the whole "gay lifestyle choice" term and can't say I appreciate it either because it really is NOT a choice you make by decision and secondly gay isn't a lifestyle like Lazario said. Do people seem to think all gays are the same and that's why they feel the need to put us in boxes? Some gays live very promiscuous lifestyles but I personally do not, I mean I'm 21 and still a walking V lol. We don't all live and do the same things as each other just as not all straights do. Why is it considered a lifestyle choice? To me a lifestyle choice enables you to "DECIDE" (being the key word here) how you want to live.

[Lazario]

That's a very important story and I don't mean to derail any part of that by getting involved just to tell you I object to something you said above.

To call being gay a "lifestyle" means you see it as being the same as the way a person dresses, what we eat, what we do with our free time, and what entertainment we enjoy. Smoking is a lifestyle choice. Being attracted to the gender you're attracted to as we both know is not a choice.

Sorry if any of that annoyed you, I just like to keep the record clear for everyone. I'm sure a lot of people still don't know that and continue to make the mistake of regarding homosexuality as being a lifestyle.

I typed that from my phone this morning and meant to put the "lifestyle" in quotations. As in using it in reference how they said it, or how his parents thought they understood it. I know it's much much more than a lifestyle. I've known my entire life I was gay and understand completely that I really had no choice in the matter. I'm just not attracted to girls and I know I never will be. That goes for many other people as well.

You know - I knew there was an explanation. Thanks for clearing that up.

By the way, I've heard all about phones that send messages... but I did not know you could go to websites on the phone and type messages in there. Other than Twitter, and for that I just thought they had some kind of phone-version of that thing. Like you'd download a program that would allow you to send text phone messages to your account. I'm sure it's no news for most people but I swear that just sounds really weird to me.

Yeah, I really don't get the whole "gay lifestyle choice" term and can't say I appreciate it either because it really is NOT a choice you make by decision and secondly gay isn't a lifestyle like Lazario said. Do people seem to think all gays are the same and that's why they feel the need to put us in boxes? Some gays live very promiscuous lifestyles but I personally do not, I mean I'm 21 and still a walking V lol. We don't all live and do the same things as each other just as not all straights do. Why is it considered a lifestyle choice? To me a lifestyle choice enables you to "DECIDE" (being the key word here) how you want to live.

Well, like Duckburger mentioned - there are tons of idiots online who still refer to all gay people as perverts. Yeah, like we invented websites where guys can watch pregnant teenage girls pissing in the snow or bending over backwards on rollerskates on the beach or whatever they got now. We all know straight people are bigger perverts. Just look at the culture for God's sake. Last month, didn't we have a thread devoted to Hooters, with the overwhelming consensus saying they thought it was an okay place? The world is so damn perverted- the word itself has ceased to have meaning.

[singerguy04]

On my iphone I can access the internet and that's how I posted from my phone. I even did it at work (shhhh, don't tell ).

I'm always surprised by the bigotry online. Especially on youtube and some other very public forums. It serves as a reminder that there are people out that that carry this unfounded hatred toward us. Sometimes I just think they are all members of the Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka, Kansas that have created multiple profiles and are trying to spread their disgusting views across the world.

One time my college choir performed in Topeka, and they actually protested our performance because my university supports the gay community and performed a theatrical production of The Laramie Project 2 years prior. They are truly petty extremists.

[Goliath]

Yeah, like we invented websites where guys can watch pregnant teenage girls pissing in the snow or bending over backwards on rollerskates on the beach or whatever they got now.

And what's wrong with that??!

[Margos]

So, not really related... But did anyone else do the Day of Silence? It was really, really hard to be quiet for a whole day. I did paint my nails up in pink, blue, and lavender, though. Representing for the oft-neglected bi community!

[Flanger-Hanger]

I didn't know there was a day of silence. Shame on me for not knowing (I can remember every gay related day/event can I?).

[Lazario]

I know I could Google an answer to this but me be 2 lazy...

What was the silence observed for?

[Prudence]

I know I could Google an answer to this but me be 2 lazy...

What was the silence observed for?

General harassment of the GLBTQ community. There are years where specific incidents of abuse are also highlighted.

[Lazario]

Well, I don't mean to be a traitor to my community, but just shy of encouraging every 2-a-penny fashion queen to keep spewing hot air - I think we've been silent enough all these years.