Can I vent for a sec?

[nachonaco]

I just feel worthless. Not suicidal, but like bump-on-a-log useless.

I want so much in life, but it's like I don't want to work for it.

I want human interaction but I'm scared of getting hurt again, or wasting my time.

I just want to hear someone say 'I love you'. I came close when my best friend admitted that I was his best friend, too.

I get decent grades, Cs and As.

I've been feeling really needy lately. i think this is because about 5 months ago I found out that my fiance cheated on me with a fat chick that he went to school with.

And I know I'm mean for putting the 'fat' part there, but....I could understand if she were hot, but....

I just want to be loved so much.

The problem is, it's really hard for me to love.

I've been burned not only by him but by flaky friends (we would make plans and she would cancel at the last minute).

I'm terrified of driving and my mom doesn't make it much better (she constantly criticizes me for getting too close to a curb. I'd much rather be close to a curb than another car!).

People, in general, frustrate me.

I'm not one of those 'holier-than-thou' types, not at all, but I just get frustrated so easily by people's stupidity.

I have no desire to make friends at my college because a majority of them are either shallow (which, I admit, this may be the pot calling the kettle black), smokers, taken, or gay.

It's just like lately I feel like I won't succeed in life. I'm almost 21 and I still live at home with no car.

I barely go out.

I hide behind baggy jackets and jeans, and almost every little thing upsets me.

I have all these big plans and do nothing with them.

I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety and ADD, and that's one of the things that makes me think no one will ever be interested in me.

Another thing is, I'm short. So I think that's probably a turnoff for guys because I look like a 10-year-old (I'm 4'9" and a half).

I just need help....:/

[yamiiguy]

...I recommend bird watching. Good for the soul.

[Maerj]

Travel. Take a trip, change you scenery for a little while and have some fun.

I have no idea where you live or your financial situation but there are some cheap flights out there. A little travel can change the way you see things around you. Do you like scifi, fantasy, anime or anything like that? Maybe a trip to dragon*con in Atlanta, GA is what you need? I went there years ago and had a great time. Lots of nice people there and things to do. 4 days long, plus there are other things in town to do.

Thing is, you're 21, you're young...have fun! You have the rest of your life to settle down and get serious.

[nachonaco]

I would, and am actually going to Port Charlotte for my spring break next year.

[Kyle]

Well for what its worth, your probably better off than I am at this point.

I have a lot of goals, but Ive been at a dead end for at least a year er so.

I'm 22, never had a real job. I have a car, but it needs a new transmission before I can drive it again. I too hate driving, I have zero sense of direction, none. I don't go anywhere without my GPS. At 18 I got my license later than most people , and I was pretty much forced to, not because I actually wanted to drive. Its just something you gotta do eventually, right?

But back the job thing, that's why my life is going nowhere at the moment. No job means living off (and with) my parents. I rarely go out because I don't have money to spend, and don't feel like asking for money I haven't really earned. I need to go to college, but I'm only interested in studying art (hopefully animation related in some form) but all the good schools, not to mention jobs, are in CA, and I'm on the east coast.

I planned on having a job by now, and saved up enough money to fly out there and start making my goals happen. but I cant do any thing until I find a job, and in this economy finding work is tough,

As far as relationships go...yeah, don't really have friends. Ive been home schooled since the 7th grade (A.D.D here too, though part of me doesn't quite believe its a real disorder...), so what little social life I had died pretty quickly after that. Never had a girlfriend either. The one girl I can actually see myself with is constantly traveling, be it for college, or missions trips for our church. Good for her, but not so much for me. Fingers still crossed though.


Wow, did I really just type that wall of text? sorry for boring ya, haha.

[rexcrk]

I wouldn't worry too much about it, nachonaco. I'm 22, I have a job (one that I really like too), it's not the best but I enjoy it. I still live at home, but it's not bad. My parents don't bug me all the time about stuff and it's not like they're taking care of me (think of Frasier living with his dad, not Principal Skinner or Cliff Clavin living with their moms lol). I'm still living at home because I can't really afford my own place, so I save at least half of my paycheck each week.

I don't go out drinking or anything, but I do like to go to the mall with my friends and stuff, and fortunately they're understanding about my not-drinking.

Totally with you guys on driving though, I'm not a big fan and I totally can't get to places I've never been to before. I mean, it's a little tricky having to read little road signs when you're too busy trying not to hit other 2000-pound moving 50 MPH vehicles on the road .

Hang in there and just be yourself. If no one's interested in you (which, trust me, I know.... as charming as I am girls just don't like me lol) then you're better off being alone that with someone that doesn't appreciate you.

[blackcauldron85]

I just feel worthless.

But you're not! Not at all! Maybe to help you feel better and to do something, you could volunteer...? You get to help people in need, try new things, and meet great people.

I want so much in life, but it's like I don't want to work for it.

You just don't feel motivated? I have that problem, too. I don't necessarily have advice on this, since I'm in the same boat (I just hate to bother people, which hinders me when trying to get where I want to be), but I think that sometimes you just have to take chances, and if there's something you want, try contacting someone who is where you want to be. Especially with the Internet, it's easy to find people and contact them.

I just want to hear someone say 'I love you'. I came close when my best friend admitted that I was his best friend, too.

Even though that might not be romantic love, it's awesome that you both are each other's best friend and you have each other. It's just nice to know that someone is there for you no matter what- great friends are special.

I've been feeling really needy lately. i think this is because about 5 months ago I found out that my fiance cheated on me with a fat chick that he went to school with.

And I know I'm mean for putting the 'fat' part there, but....I could understand if she were hot, but....

Maybe easier said than done, but my philosophy on relationships is, there are a lot of fish in the sea. I know that it sucks and that it hurts, but you're better than that. Why would you want to be with someone who doesn't treat you right? There are plenty of guys out there who are decent and wonderful. It might take a while to find one, but it's better to be single than be with someone who treats you badly (believe me, I've been there, and it sucks).

I just want to be loved so much.

The problem is, it's really hard for me to love.

To this, I'd say: don't rush it. Once you find someone who you want to love, it maybe will come easier. Maybe it's harder to love people who you really aren't in love with, if that makes sense. Surely you'll meet someone who means the world to you and then you'll just naturally love...?

I have no desire to make friends at my college because a majority of them are either shallow (which, I admit, this may be the pot calling the kettle black), smokers, taken, or gay.

Cliche answer, but have you tried joining a club at school? There are so many different types of clubs that surely you'd be involved in something you're interested in, and you'd be surrounded by people with the same interest? My college even had a chocolate club! (I didn't join clubs in college, but I'm sure my life would be better if I had.)

It's just like lately I feel like I won't succeed in life. I'm almost 21 and I still live at home with no car.

I barely go out.

Is there something you're passionate about? Back to the looking online and researching what it is you're interested in and trying to find someone who you could talk with about it, how they got where they are and what you could do to get there. Networking is key. And living at home at 21 is nothing odd or anything; you're still in college. I think that parts of my life would've been better had I still been at home at 21; my life was crazy and hard to describe in words here, and I moved out at 19, and my life isn't any better for it, except that I have my dogs and I've made a few friends where I live now. All this to say, like Maerj said, you're still young, and I understand that you're unhappy; I've been there. And I know that it's easy to get lost and not know what to do, but don't give up hope- there are people out there who care and who want to help you succeed in whatever it is that you want to do.

Another thing is, I'm short. So I think that's probably a turnoff for guys because I look like a 10-year-old (I'm 4'9" and a half).

Being short isn't a turn-off for most guys. I've been 5'1" since I was 13, and I've never had a guy say to me, "You're too short, I won't date you," or something similar. I look young, too (not 10, but I can pass for 15!), and that matters more/bothers me more than the height thing. When I go on interviews, for example, I feel silly, like I'm a kid dressing up in my mom's clothes. But there's nothing I can do about it. I hope that this issue doesn't get you down, because there's nothing you can do about it. I hope you can just learn to accept it. That's what I've had to do.

would, and am actually going to Port Charlotte for my spring break next year.

That's awesome! And I like the smiley face- it seems like you're excited! That'll be such a great experience, and maybe you'll meet some people, and you can relax- I'm happy for you!

But back the job thing, that's why my life is going nowhere at the moment. No job means living off (and with) my parents.

A LOT of people have either not moved out of their parents house, or moved back in, due to the economy (my own brother and friends included). At least it's better than pretending like you can afford your own place and then not being able to...it's a smart thing to do. And it's not like you'll live with them forever; surely the economy will get better (I've been job-hunting for 2 years, and I think finally I'm going to get hired, at a place that I've been volunteering at for a while and that my friend works at...networking I guess really is key).

The one girl I can actually see myself with is constantly traveling, be it for college, or missions trips for our church. Good for her, but not so much for me. Fingers still crossed though.

See, you haven't lost hope, and that's important.

Hang in there and just be yourself. If no one's interested in you then you're better off being alone that with someone that doesn't appreciate you.

That's so true; as I said earlier, it's better to be alone and happy (or somewhat happy) than with someone and miserable.

[nachonaco]

I think he does like me.

I was talking about my ex and how much I missed him and he said "If you go back to him I will have to break your fingers. One by one."

(And yes, he was joking. He knows I've got more sense than that. )

[slave2moonlight]

I just feel worthless. Not suicidal, but like bump-on-a-log useless.

I want so much in life, but it's like I don't want to work for it.

I want human interaction but I'm scared of getting hurt again, or wasting my time.

I just want to hear someone say 'I love you'. I came close when my best friend admitted that I was his best friend, too.

I get decent grades, Cs and As.

I've been feeling really needy lately. i think this is because about 5 months ago I found out that my fiance cheated on me with a fat chick that he went to school with.

And I know I'm mean for putting the 'fat' part there, but....I could understand if she were hot, but....

I just want to be loved so much.

The problem is, it's really hard for me to love.

I've been burned not only by him but by flaky friends (we would make plans and she would cancel at the last minute).

I'm terrified of driving and my mom doesn't make it much better (she constantly criticizes me for getting too close to a curb. I'd much rather be close to a curb than another car!).

People, in general, frustrate me.

I'm not one of those 'holier-than-thou' types, not at all, but I just get frustrated so easily by people's stupidity.

I have no desire to make friends at my college because a majority of them are either shallow (which, I admit, this may be the pot calling the kettle black), smokers, taken, or gay.

It's just like lately I feel like I won't succeed in life. I'm almost 21 and I still live at home with no car.

I barely go out.

I hide behind baggy jackets and jeans, and almost every little thing upsets me.

I have all these big plans and do nothing with them.

I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety and ADD, and that's one of the things that makes me think no one will ever be interested in me.

Another thing is, I'm short. So I think that's probably a turnoff for guys because I look like a 10-year-old (I'm 4'9" and a half).

I just need help....:/

I can actually relate to a lot of this. Not all, but a lot. I probably could be diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and ADD at this point too, ha, but I don't allow people to diagnose me. I am at heart a cheerful person, but I have been alone my whole life, and at this point it is eating away at me, along with not having any success or acknowledgement for anything I attempt or am passionate about.

I would like to comment on a few things though. First, not all guys of course, but A LOT, actually PREFER short girls (I am one of them), so you should never have a problem with that. Don't think guys don't like it I mean. Now, if you're like SOME short girls I've encountered who don't like guys less than 6 feet tall (bizarre, but I've met girls like this), then I don't know what to say, ha, because those are the guys who naturally want taller girls...

I understand totally about not going out much and not wanting to mix with people at your college. Or, at least, I have been through similar experiences. Frankly, I have very specific interests, and I don't get much pleasure from clubbing (I don't drink at all) or that sort of stuff. In college, where I went anyway, most people were paired off already and not really my type anyway (the school really wasn't right for me, but it was all I could afford; heck, I really couldn't afford it), and with my interests (for example, Disney movies), it is just hard to meet folks with similar interests anyway. Making friends is abnormally hard for me. I don't have great social skills in that regard. Can't start up conversations with strangers. Even if I do pull it off, it gets awkward fast when I'm left with coming up with the next thing to say. I just have nothing in common with most people, even relatives. Males only usually want to talk sports (which I hate); girls sometimes find me easy to talk to when they try, but they still think guys should be into sports and that sort of stuff, so that puts me in a friend zone for not being some stereotype... It's all very frustrating. And, a big problem is that I grew up on the Texas/Mexico border in a 99 percent Mexican-American community. It's always been a big culture clash for me and I've never mixed well socially because of just not being into the same stuff. Yeah, I've lived here my whole life, but I was raised more American-style, unlike most locals. Heck, English is the second language to most locals. On the upside, I'm moving to Austin soon, but I still feel it'll be almost hopeless to improve my life then because I'll already be 35 next month and all the years I've spend here have allowed me to develop zero social skills.... It's just all very frustrating, so I can relate in some ways to some of your feelings at least. I don't think I'm as easily frustrated by others as you, but that does remind me a lot of one of my sisters, ha.

But, I got off on a tangent there, hmm... As for guys who cheat on you, yeah, please, don't get back with people who treat you like that. I'm so frustrated with women who think all guys are like that, or who think guys like that can change. I still don't believe people really change. It just hasn't been my experience. They might try, but... The problem is that women tend to go after those kind of guys. I guess they are the better looking ones or something, and many women have flat out admitted to me that women do not want nice guys, and at this point I very much believe it. Some insist they do, but even they don't practice what they preach. Now THAT frustrates me and has greatly lowered my opinion of the opposite sex over the years.

As for the baggy clothes, well, I would thing that's a self esteem issue. But it depends if you want attention/if attention would be good for you. I get the impression it could be good for you (if you wouldn't let it lure you to go out of control or something), so if you dressed a bit nicer/more feminine (well, not that I really know how you dress), I'm sure you'd find yourself getting some positive reactions. Just keep in mind that the better men are usually not the ones who will approach, but more likely ones that will glance at you adoringly but are too shy to approach you.

Those are just some of my thoughts on it, anyway. Oh, and as for being 21 and still living at home with no car, uh, that is hardly unusual or something to be embarrassed about. Plus, these days it's a very unrealistic expectation for most 21 year olds to be out of the house and with their own car. It's sad how much the media has perpetuated this idea that it is pathetic to live at home with your family. It's totally a cultural thing though. Let me say, for example, where I live, it is not at all unusual to for people, male or female, to live with their parents until they are married, and in some cases even then they stay in the same house. In many families across the country (probably across the globe), from those with low incomes up to the VERY wealthy, many families live in the same home from generation to generation. That's the way the real world is, even if it is not often presented that way on television or in movies. But, remember that on TV and in the movies we are usually only being exposed to the lives of people in L.A. and New York, ha. Perhaps there it is unusual to stay at home, at least in the communities they focus on, but it is not all that unusual in the real world, especially in today's economy, and certainly nothing to be ashamed of. Anyway, this is something men are mocked for more than women. If I were you, I wouldn't worry about it, especially since you are still in your early 20's. Believe me, I understand not wanting to live at home anymore, but it is nothing to be ashamed of and not unusual.