Watched the Tori Spelling Christmas tv-movie, A Carol Christmas, and not surprisingly: it stunk. Most made-for-tv Christmas movies are kind of hokey. This one was just absurd. Even as a villain, Tori Spelling can't find her inner-bitch. Probably one of the reasons people make fun of her so much. Her good sense of humor about her public image has turned south a bit, and now all her projects are completely without awareness of their own mediocrity. I should probably say: Kudos for the fact that now her new shows and movies get more media attention thanks to the success of Tori & Dean. But instead, I'm starting to feel sorry for her again. Too many celebrities mistake amount of attention for amount of success. Anyway- William Shatner was surprisingly likable here, Gary Coleman was at his least angry, and Dinah Manoff looks incredible. She must be 50 by now but look at those thighs! You'd never know it, she's keeping herself incredibly well-toned and for the movie's token hag character, she dials it down a lot. Which, with a voice like she's got, isn't necessarily a plus. On the downside...where to begin, Holmes Osborne (Donnie Darko, Crazy in Alabama) is underused in a flat cliched role that lacks menace and switches at the end to a "heart of gold" revelation. Huh? Tori Spelling's performance is completely unbelievable- her anger lacked motivation and psyche, and her pampered Princess turned would-be nasty bitch is the same "lovable" pampered Princess she was in the "Accomodating" episode of So NoTorious. So...it makes sense that Satan would want to steal her soul- she uses too much makeup.
For some reason I was further distracted by how radical it seems to put Tori Spelling in a romantic relationship with a charity worker guy. Though all things considered, that's the least of things that are wrong with this movie.
I haven't even gotten to the downtrodden assistant who lives in a small apartment that Tori confuses for a crackhouse. I get it- she's supposed to be Tiny Tim... or is Tiny Tim the kid
from the assistant guy? I don't know. She's supposed to be the assistant guy from the classic fairy tale but because she's a woman and she can't afford anything (nice earrings, by the way
) for her family and has a guy boyfriend whatever who has the money to support them but she won't take it... She of course is not too proud to take bigtime moola from Tori (what in the end must have amounted to over a hundred thousand dollars = travel expenses, legal fees, the raise, the Christmas bonus, the rest of the wallet cash, and the money she paid her back for the Christmas presents for her sister's kids). Oh, and speaking of the Tiny Tim-woman's boyfriend guy - this brings up my next point of contention: Tori's transformation into a Saint. This should be the believable part, right? But, she's giving the same performance that she has throughout the whole film (which, not to derail further from what I'm talking about here but, I can't tell what her worst moment is, maybe you can help: her trying to engage the Ghost of Christmas Future in conversation in the limosine when she couldn't give a rotten fig if anyone talked to her or trying to beg same Ghost for mercy as he buries her alive in a coffin). You know who isn't giving the same? Her co-workers at the TV station. For some reason, while she is being the evil cretin that makes Gary Coleman tell her she's going to Hell, all her assistants are constantly being nice and giving her the benefit of the doubt. Suddenly, when she wakes up and goes "It's not too late" (you know the story? Then you know the part), everyone around her snaps into treating her like she is the Anti-Christ.
Anyway, some of the cast weren't so bad and the section going back into Tori's past is actually not entirely unwatchable. Thanks to the genuinely romantic performance from... Token Lifetime-y "Dreamboat" Hunk Guy. They're all the same. Switch one out, put another in- it's all the same. Skip this and watch the one with Shannen Doherty as a cat-burglar. That was infinitely better.
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Is it wrong for me to say a movie like this to come out in 2000 is outdated and too old-fashioned? Well, find me a woman who actually enjoyed this, and I'll lie and tell you this isn't a shockingly brainless movie. Okay, I'm sure you all know this already but here we go: there are these 4 guys who are real "mans' men" I guess, they go huntin' shootin' fishin' kinda thing and talk in Southern drawls although I don't think they're really from the south any of them. And they all know or are married-to or meet througout the course of this movie all the women that you see on the cover of the video box. Oh, and a couple more who didn't make it - like Janine Turner from Lifetime's Strong Medicine. Now... all the women you see are extreme stereotypes and completely clueless about any and everything. Which drives Richard Gere, who plays a Woman Worshipper type who is overly flattering to women, to become desperate to get away from all women altogether. Leading to what is probably the most embarrassing ending from a serious mainstream film director of all-time: he grows so tired of women that he practically orgasms when he delivers the baby of a Mexican woman and... It's a boy. Tell me that's not the most stupid ending you've ever seen. I've seen worse, but not many. Not any that reveal how clueless a director was about the movie they were making.
Every piece of this film's story goes nowhere and the point ends up being: talking. Lots of talking. None of it means anything. After the first 20 minutes, it actually begins to become hypnotic. I started getting into it a little. This is all thanks to Helen Hunt, of course, whose Earthiness and maternal feel to her performance helps to offset all the frigid drunk woman stereotypes, and... yes I'm going to say it: Tara Reid, who everyone makes fun of but, who actually has a great free-spiritedness in this film and knows how to hold your attention. Another plus for the movie: the big wedding sorta-climax is actually incredibly funny! Which makes the betrayal outro of Helen Hunt's character all the more disappointing. I was also shocked by how they managed to keep Kate Hudson from going over-the-top. She's much better in scenes with all the women talking. Those scenes are one of the film's major weaknesses, especially since Tara Reid's surprisingly cool character gets lost in the sea and Helen Hunt even ends up sitting in his waiting room.
The animator had to prove him wrong by adding the part where they kiss through the noodle. I liked the part where they talked about how they adapted the dog's normal movements and behaviors into the film, such as Tramp's running and Lady's curiosity. And of course they discussed how Walt made it into a kind of inspriration of his home town of Marceline. They really did do a good job.
I love all the characters, animation, music, and charm this wonderful movie presents. My favorite hero, princess, and villain are all Aladdin chraracters, and let's not forget Genie! "A Whole New World" is among my top Disney songs, and my most liked thing about Aladdin is that the characters are fantastic. Aladdin is not your typical prince charming and Jasmine is very independent and definitely not a pushover. Jafar is my favorite villain because he can be menacing and intimidating but also humorous and entertaining without losing his cool way. Genie and Iago never fail to make me chuckle or laugh and Abu is a cute, little sidekick. I also like how it tells a story of the characters' desire for freedom and the need to be yourself. I love it all!
