What Movie Did You Just Watch? - Forever

[Lazario]

David Cronenberg's godawful directorial debut. A mess in nearly every way. Might as well be called: Night of the Living Rapists. Rape-horror is always self-important and arrogant every time and it's just as bad when you're watching it and you know the filmmaker doesn't really have a reason for making you sit through it. It's pretty much just an experiment to see how much substance Cronenberg can squeeze out of this series of sexual mutation scenes. There's even a sequence where one of the horny zombies (a non-thinking person is always a zombie- what else could explain The Republican Party?) tries to kill the main characters in a car crash- which would later be the story for Cronenberg's 1996 film, Crash. Only a few slim plusses here - the creepy "Starliner Apartments" slideshow at the beginning, Barbara Steele's bathtub scenes, and Lynn Lowry running in that black dress.







Wow... After watching so many bad damn new-millennium horror movies last year and this, I wanted a good movie so bad. Well, since then I've gotten a few. But now I feel I should have been a bit more specific. I wanted something good that would keep me awake. I love slow-moving, internal horror films with good acting. But this isn't just slow. It's quiet too. More old-fashioned thrilling than creepy, more writer-driven than actor or director-driven, too classical in all respects, and downright pretentious at times. Especially with all the scenes featuring Italian language that isn't translated into English. Do we have to hold up a card that says: "not all people speak Italian"?? Because I know that. The filmmakers here should have known it too. I give it credit where credit is due. Because it certainly does have its' moments. Especially the end. And the scene where the husband and wife are lost in the alley. And Hilary Mason and Julie Christie are perfect. But, I couldn't stand Donald Sutherland. And they did a lot better with the whole "she believes, he doesn't" thing when it was kept subtle. By the time he's drunk, I felt like shouting: "I don't care about him anymore. Can we kill him already?"






Is this a Gremlins rip-off or another one of those 80's homages / tributes to old 50's sci-fi scare flicks? Or is it both? Either way, there's no way this movie will ever escape the shadow of Gremlins. And all things considered, the fact that this movie is always compared to Gremlins isn't unfair either. Both feature perfect "little towns" with cute families and quasi-friendly townies. This one seems to have a little more attitude and the Critter creature design is a lot more impressive than the Gremlin creatures, but that film still remains better structured, tighter paced, darker, scarier, creepier, and more entertaining. Not to mention the intended humor in this film is all off. Harv is a bunch of missed opportunities, completely underdeveloped (the sheriff in Critters 2 was more interesting). They don't do anything with the religious stuff here. The bounty hunters are completely boring. The Hulk Hogan movie Suburban Commando had much funnier "aliens adjusting to Earth customs" jokes all around. The father is annoying. And... what's up with the daughter's boyfriend? He looks like he's supposed to be a creep, but he's just an alergic rich-kid type.







Re-watching this movie is a funny experience. It's not without its' flaws. Mostly, it begins and, to be honest... for awhile, all it has going for it is Jerry Goldsmith's score and the huge special effects which are still incredible today. It takes forever to make you care about any of the characters (except Carol Anne, who is SO adorable in this movie- Drew Barrymore as a child star had nothing on Heather O'Rourke). Finally, it happens. But it's more than 1-4th over by then. The more emotionally disheveled and frazzled the family gets, the better the acting is. I even grew to like the bratty eldest daughter who you never see, and I'm sure audiences had funny feelings about- seeing as how she always bailed whenever things got too sad, where Robbie never wanted to leave the house. Also- the religious stuff is overbearing and sappy instead of thought-provoking and completely heart-felt. But by that time in the movie, the scene with James Karen is so damn creepy- you're getting all kinds of chills. "Nobody's complained... until now." Jaws: eat your heart out!

[zackisthewalrus]

Coraline - Watched this last night. I'm at my grandparents' house this week, and I watched it in my room. It looked great, but I couldn't understand all of the dialogue because I had the volume so low since everyone else was sleeping, so I'll have to rewatch it. I watched the bonus DVD copy since none of the TVs in the house have a Blu-ray player, but it's gonna look beautiful on Blu-ray!

[Lazario]

Heavy-handed horror / fairy tale hybrid isn't fully satisfying by a long shot. Mostly, it's Ian Patrick Williams ruining everything with his clumsy Dad routine (he only has one good line- "that psychotic piece of shit!"), and Stephen Lee's "the killer dolls!" is pretty embarrassing and poorly pitched. But, on repeat viewings, it doesn't lose any of its' atmosphere or creepiness. Fuzzbee Morse's music score is also worth noting. As are the excellent doll effects and the gore, which comes in small but very effective doses. It's disappointing at first but it grows on you after time. It's certainly a lot better than other late 80's head-scratching horror Cult Classics, such as 976-Evil, The Blob remake, and Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night II.







I guess this movie's been aptly ripped apart by lots of critics, online and elsewhere. I'm guessing a lot of that displeasure comes from people who read the book. My strict policy with movies based on books is: screw the book. A movie is a movie. And Pet Sematary is only half a serious movie. And it's its' attempt to be serious that makes it all the more enjoyable in a way movies like this aren't supposed to be. You're supposed to get into the characters' drama and feel for them. Not gonna happen here. This is pure style over substance, almost for the purpose of pointing and laughing at substance. Or, hitting it with a truck, bringing it back from the dead, and making it really ugly so that people can't recognize it anymore. Point being- I can't imagine these characters being interesting under any circumstances. There are endless opportunities for jokes at this movie's expense. In terms of the style, Pet Sematary is always an entertaining watch. Short of a few groan-worthy moments. Such as- the revealing shot of zombie-Timmy Bateman. And all of the awful Zelda flashbacks. How could so many people find her terrifying? Oh and... what mini-review of this film is complete without mentioning the funeral scene? Rachel's father throws the first punch and kick, yet somehow Louis is the one people are holding back and yelling "get a grip, man!" at. Is that a bad joke?







Yes, this is a brainless movie. It's not really about anything. But- who cares? It's a great looking movie where everyone turns in a quality performance. It's gory, fast-paced, surprisingly graceful, and the special effects are excellent. Somehow, the morphing effects (which everyone complains about) still look better than typical CGI. I didn't have a problem with them. Besides, they go with the overall mood of the film. It's a completely entertaining movie. Slick and sophisticated in its' almost parodying of wholesome families. What with the incestuous monster mother and son being called the Brady's. And Tanya's mother and father being sickeningly Growing Pains-esque. Or, like the parents from Critters. Just a little more strict than Mike and Carol Brady themselves. It doesn't all work, unfortunately. The weak link here is clearly Charmed's future husband-hunk favorite Brian Krause, especially when his character turns into Freddy Krueger spouting out awful one-liners (save for: "just look at this shirt! My mother's gonna kill me!"). But, the amazing Alice Krige more than makes up for what he lacks. Every mili-second she's onscreen is amazing! She's where the film gains its' sophisticated quality, because she turns every small gesture into something creepy, grand, and exotic. Her performance is the most sadly underrated thing about this oft-dismissed fun film.







When this was released in 1992 and went quickly to HBO/Cinemax the next year, it went right over people's heads. We were so deeply drowning in the slasher films and the one-liner killers and bad puns and huge body counts and lame backstories and over-the-top special effects... that people were completely burnt out and just wanted impressive sequences of over-the-top gore (Children of the Corn III: Urban Harvest and Dead Alive more than filled that void). Audiences who were thrilled by A Nightmare on Elm Street were not in the mood for subtle parodies, and so at least two excellent films were buried under the waves of schlock. This was one of those (Leprechaun 2 was the other). Count me as one of the people who saw this but wasn't looking hard enough. Cut to, 15 years later, and I buy the DVD. Everyone told me I was crazy. And I thought- if this is as boring as I remember it being, I'll know they were right. Well... they were wrong!

Dr. Giggles is strikingly smart and clever and the jokes are broad and hilarious. There are more than a handful of extraordinary little moments. The two that get the most attention are the "it sucks" and the house of mirrors scenes. But there are many others. The earnest and woah-inducing ferris wheel sequence, the ironic "doggie door" bit, the Tamara character, the "terminal" Dr. Mario kid, Rendell's answering machine message, the "time to do what doctors do best" reveal, and all the evil Dr.'s constant one-liners. Speaking of Charmed, the other half of the husband-and-wife is here (Brian Krause was in Sleepwalkers), Holly Marie Combs. With Glenn Quinn from Roseanne and Angel as her boyfriend. Both are great, like they are on tv. They're supposed to be stereotypical characters, but at the end, I really ended up liking them. Most horror films are flawed, but I can't think of one flaw that really weighs this one down. This is a winner. Try it again.

[Cordy_Biddle]

Pete's Dragon: I watched the old Gold Collection DVD last night; I hadn't actually seen the movie for a good three or fours years and it surprised me of how enjoyable and fast-moving the whole thing actually was! As a kid I always had 'boring' moments which I fast-forwarded through, but felt the exact opposite way last night. Loved Helen Reddy's performance and Shelley Winters was such a good sport playing ugly hillbilly Mrs Gogen.

Lazario, I watched all three "Poltergeist" movies in a marathon screening a few weeks ago. I agree with you on all major points of your review. The eldest daughter did seem to disappear each time the going got rough didn't she? But that's teenagers for you! ("Oh I'm waay to cool to be helping combat supernatural disturbances who kidnapped my sister"'). Sadly the POLTERGEIST films will always be covered by the pall of Heather O'Rourke's untimely death and neither will likely be separated anytime soon.

[blackcauldron85]

I forgot to post that a few days ago, I had an HSM marathon: I was babysitting, so we watched all 3 movies. I had to fast-forward some not-as-important parts of HSM3 due to time constraints, but we watched pretty much the whole thing. I had wanted to watch all 3 films in one sitting before, and I'm glad I did. It was very fun.

[zackisthewalrus]

G-Force - I went with my younger cousin to see it. We went to a digital 3D screening. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, but it wasn't great.

[Goliath]

L' Auberge Español

Wonderful, delighting feelgood-film, about a French student who goes to live in Barcelona for a year to study Spanish. The film is about his life there with his new friends, who come from all parts of the world.

[xxhplinkxx]

L' Auberge Español

Wonderful, delighting feelgood-film, about a French student who goes to live in Barcelona for a year to study Spanish. The film is about his life there with his new friends, who come from all parts of the world.

Hm. Sounds like a movie I'd watch; I'll definitely look into it.

[PeterPanfan]

L' Auberge Español

Wonderful, delighting feelgood-film, about a French student who goes to live in Barcelona for a year to study Spanish. The film is about his life there with his new friends, who come from all parts of the world.

Hm. Sounds like a movie I'd watch; I'll definitely look into it.

That sounds like Vicky Cristina Barcelona, except with a male instead of two females.

[Goliath]

Hm. Sounds like a movie I'd watch; I'll definitely look into it.

That sounds like Vicky Cristina Barcelona, except with a male instead of two females.

Huh? No, it's not anything like that.

[PixarFan2006]

My Neighbor Totoro - I decided to watch this last night. I have not seen it fully in years and I thought it was pretty good. One problem I had was that it moved a little slowly, but the animation was great so I could forgive that.

[Goliath]

Hm. Sounds like a movie I'd watch; I'll definitely look into it.

You should! I don't think you will be dissappointed.

[xxhplinkxx]

Goliath, just thought you'd like to know that the movie has a sequel, Les Poupées russes (The Russian Dolls), and there is apparently a third movie being made as well.

[PeterPanfan]

Another horror movie night.

Valentine - Not scary at all, nor did it even have good acting. I was looking forward to David Boreanaz, but he did not deliver as well as he does on Angel or Bones. Katherine Heigl was only in the very beginning, and Denise Richards was poor as usual.

The Hitcher - This wasn't a horror film, per say, but more of an action/thriller. I really liked it, with great performances by Sophia Bush and Sean Bean. It had me on the edge of the seat (er, couch) for pretty much the entire ending. Recommended.

Scream 3 - Well, I absolutely loved the first two, and I loved the third as well. Parker Posey was a great new addition to the cast, and Courteney Cox and David Arquette, Neve Campbell, and the short, but good scene by Heather Mattarazo, were great as well. Recommended.

Hatchet - This was the dumbest, cheesiest, goriest, weirdest movie I've ever seen... and I loved every minute of it! Mercedes McNab, or more commonly known as Harmony the Vampire, was hilarious in it, as was the rest of the cast. Recommended!

[Prudence]

Funny People

It would have been funnier if it hadn't been so long. It felt like I was watching nearly two full years in the lives of these people. Like in real life, it's heaps of awkward monotony with some funny moments every now and then.

[Goliath]

Goliath, just thought you'd like to know that the movie has a sequel, Les Poupées russes (The Russian Dolls), and there is apparently a third movie being made as well.

Thanks. If I read imdb correctly, not all the actors from the original are present. I'm not sure if I'll watch this. The original film was 'complete', to me. The story was done. I think a sequel may ruïn everything I loved about the original.

The Hitcher - This wasn't a horror film, per say, but more of an action/thriller. I really liked it, with great performances by Sophia Bush and Sean Bean. It had me on the edge of the seat (er, couch) for pretty much the entire ending. Recommended.

Try the original film with Rutger Hauer.

[PeterPanfan]

Julie & Julia - Adorable. Especially Amy Adams! I really want to read the book now, lol.

[blackcauldron85]

Babes in Toyland- I wrote my thoughts in the Babes in Toyland thread.

[PixarFan2006]

Spirited Away - Another great film from Miyazaki with wonderful animation and an intriguing story. I do think it's a bit overrated and drags on a bit though.

8/10

[ajmrowland]

17 Again-considering it's been done before, I thought the movie was good. All the cast did a good job, Ned's scenes being totally geekified made for a few nice references(particularly ones that I know), and overall, the film is much more watchable than most of Disney Channel, if mostly in terms of straying into territory DC wouldn't go within the same galaxy of.