In honor of Disney Snobbery, I tried to think of the different kinds of Disney Snobs there are. I'm sure there's more than what I listed, but cut me some slack, I only thought about it for an hour. And I wrote descriptions for each one that's mainly about the worst in a Disney Snob, not always about the best in them. After all, as a Disney Snob, we might proudly rattle off the names of the Nine Old Men or remember who voiced Pinocchio faster than an average person. And we know our way around theme parks, know how to do the most in the least amount of time. Our Disney movie collections go unrivaled on our street, sometimes in our town. We're "That Disney Fan" to most people, and we wear it proudly...or sometimes try to hide it. And best of all, we're proof that Disney isn't always for kids.
Still, snobbery in itself will always be demeaning to other people. So even if we embrace Disney snobbery (or vehemently try to deny it), it will no doubt insult others. Which is exactly what I intended when listing the types of Disney Snobs. If we're aware of our faults, we can fix them, or at least hide them better when someone asks, "Did Disney make Anastasia? I loved that film!"
Anyway, enough of this sad attempt for me to try to provide a disclaimer. It's all for laughs, please remember that. Because if you can't laugh at yourself, you shouldn't laugh at other people.
What Type of Disney Snob Are You?:
The "I Love Walt" Snob - everything Walt did was gold. Disneyland is better than any other Disney park because Walt worked on it and walked upon its very grounds. Who cares if Disneyland Paris has the most beautiful castle? Disneyland has the original, that Walt approved of, and so it will be the only real Disney castle out there. Movies made when he was alive are better than anything else because he had some supervision over it, even crap like Ten Who Dared. His animated films can't be beat, even if he slacked in later years. None of the films made after his death should dare call themselves a Disney film. Walt had no true input on them, and neither will I. I look down on anyone who does not share my opinion.
The "I Hate Walt" Snob - Marc Eliot is a genius, and his biography on Walt is required reading. I refuse to believe that Walt was as good a man as Disney propoganda want us to believe. I'll enjoy stuff he made, but he was a lousy person. That's why I like more of the stuff done after he died than when he was around. I look down on anyone who does not share my opinion.
The Old is Better Snob - kids today don't know what they're missing out on. Crap like "Wizards of Waverly Place" and High School Musical shouldn't bear the Disney name. I'm content in 50+ year old episodes of "Mickey Mouse Club" and "Disneyland". I love the Walt Era, not just because Walt was around, but because it was so much better than the turds the company is making today. What happened to quality programming and movies? Miley Cyrus is no Annette Funicello so she should stop trying to be as popular as her. Kids today, sheesh. I either lived through the old era, or I lived through it secondhand via Vault Disney programming. I look down on anyone who does not share my opinion.
The New is Better Snob - Walt is dead. His films were old and boring, and anything from his time period is old and boring. Well, except Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, but we're all supposed to like that one because if not for that film, we wouldn't have this new wonderful Disney! Disney Channel rocks, my favorite shows are "Phineas and Ferb" and "Sonny With A Chance"! I'm so glad they stopped airing the old stuff years ago, that put me to sleep. Chicken Little was hilarious, almost as good as Shrek. I think National Treasure is one of the best films from Disney. Even The Pacifier is better than snooze-worthy stuff like Pete's Dragon and Old Yeller. Who the hell are people like Fred More, Mary Blair, Joe Grant, Hazel George, and Dean Jones anyway? I look down on anyone who does not share my opinion.
The Traditional Animation Snob - the only good type of animation is traditional animation. Newfangled stuff like CGI is so cold and impersonal. I'd rather know that a person actually drew every little line, colored in every little section. Having a computer do it just makes it seem less magical. I want only the best for traditional animation, and that includes restoration of the old stuff. Keep it looking old, because that's how I remember it. Bright colors and grainless picture looks atrocious, even if it's possible that's how it looked way back when. I've got evidence to the contrary, no matter what Disney restoration people say. I look down on anyone who does not share my opinion.
The Princess Snob - I only like the Princess films. Fairy tales and happily ever after define my Disney fanaticism. Other stuff like Pirates of the Caribbean are okay, but not really my style, even though they have cuties like Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom. *swoon* I honestly have little to no idea what kind of movies the company made beyond the Princess ones and anything recent. No, wait. The oldest film I like from Disney is Newsies, because it's got Christian Bale! I look down on anyone who does not share my opinion.
The "Only Disney" Snob - I like Disney, and only Disney. Everything else sucks balls. Okay, maybe not everything. But very few films will grab me the way a Disney film will. I believe in magic in a young girl's heart. How the music can free her whenever it starts. Disney magic is the only magic for me. If I could, everything I buy would have the Disney brand, even my car. Then again, that's what the antenna toppers are for! I look down on anyone who does not share my opinion.
The Cult Snob - I will like the unpopular films to be different, and hate the popular films to pretend I'm better than them. The Black Hole is a turgid mess but I declare my love for it simply because too few people will. And Tron has become too big of a cult that I won't like it anymore even if I liked it before. Give me Robin Hood and Chicken Little over a weepy princess any day of the week. Condorman rules. I look down on anyone who does not share my opinion.
The Everything Snob - I can find appreciation in everything that the Disney company has done, and I don't hold anything higher or lower than anything else. I judge everything on their own merits, not comparing it to something else. The snobbery in all this comes from the fact that I love to proclaim it to the world, that I'll accept and understand everything Disney does, even if I have my own personal dislikes. I feel I'm a better fan than someone else because I'm so accepting. I'll also belittle those who aren't sharing in my opinions or are ignorant to some of the most simple Disney history and trivia. I look down on anyone who does not share my opinion.
The "I Don't Like Disney" Snob - I don't. I'm just here because it's hilarious reading all the intense fights and bickering among Disney fans over stupid stuff. Disney's for kids, grow up already. I look down on anyone who does not share my opinion.
The "My Opinion Is The Only Opinion" Snob - if I like it, and you don't, you're a moron. If I dislike it, and you do, you're a bigger moron. I'll give my reasons, however valid or empty, and if you disagree, you're still a moron. Of course, this applies to more than just Disney, it's my entire life. If you don't like that, you're a bigger moron than I know you are. I look down on anyone who does not share my opinion, and anyone who doesn't share my opinion is a moron, so I look down on a lot of morons.
So what type of Disney Snob are you?
). I don't really like 3D. I don't hate a movie just because it's 3D though--I still give it a chance regardless. I just don't actively seek to watch 3D movies.
