The Teen Sex Debate

[ajmrowland]

You may be tired of hearing it, but kids are having more sex at younger ages. And this is in spiteof the desperation of parents to not let kids know about it. So....
a)It could be the abstinence sex education that doesn't even teach anythingand/or 2) parents are waiting too long to give them "the talk"

Personally, I believe that adults trying to keep their kids away from things only draws them to their attention. It's quite ironic, actually.

Take, for example, the Lion King "sex" scandal/conspiracy. Not only were the leaves never supposed to spell "sex" in the first place, but most people didn't even notice it until it ended up all over the internet.

[disneyboy20022]

I think someone is trying to win a Golden Mickey for Controversial thread category for 2009

Anyway I've seen another thread about a year ago and it went pretty far off the deep end...locked and dead....

I think this thread can survive.....although I am not sure I agree with this topic on a Disney thread....but I've said this many a time whenever a thread like this topic is created.....

But I think the other forum members can act civilized and discuss this....although ajmrowland I would add to your post a disclaime such as please act civilized and think before you post.....

[xxhplinkxx]

The same with anything else in life, just be as honest as you can. I don't know if "the talk" really does much... I never really had it from my parents.

I had sex ed in school, but that's about it. The rest I learned from TV like a normal person,

[singerguy04]

in my opinion parents now-a-days will blame anyone or anything for bad parenting than themselves. When it comes to sex, it really shouldn't be something locked up and hidden from kids. It should be something explained to them in a private setting with mom, dad, or both explaining simply where the child came from. I think that if people would just establish the initial belief that it's an act of mature love or a grown-up thing the kid would kind of understand. I just think too many people are trying to get other people to raise their kids to actually talk about anything fundamental with their kids. I bet that if more parents spent more time with their kids, it wouldn't be such a bad thing.

OR, we should just make kids work 24/7 like they did back in the day, lol.

[Flanger-Hanger]

If parents or teachers don't teach kids about sex, then they'll learn it from somewhere else (TV, movies, internet etc). Better they learn about it properly and how to do it safely from people they trust instead of pretending it doesn't exist, because last time I checked it does.

[ajmrowland]

^Exactly my point. Nobody's actually teaching them properly.

And disneyboy, I didn't know there was an award for most controversial topic. I DID suspect that there was another topic on this, though. It's a hard to avoid subject, but yesterday's TODAY show segment on this got me thinking. It's either the media blowing things out of proportion again, or an actual increase in middle-school sex.

[carolinakid]

My parents tried to explain the birds and the bees to me once....but I kept correcting them...

[xxhplinkxx]

My parents tried to explain the birds and the bees to me once....but I kept correcting them...

Oh, Jon... hahahaha

[Flanger-Hanger]

My parents tried to explain the birds and the bees to me once....but I kept correcting them...

There may be birds and bees, but sometimes birds like going at it with the other birds. Same goes for the bees.

I doubt that will ever be taught in schools any time soon in the US.

[ajmrowland]

My parents tried to explain the birds and the bees to me once....but I kept correcting them...

[disneyboy20022]

^Exactly my point. Nobody's actually teaching them properly.

And disneyboy, I didn't know there was an award for most controversial topic. I DID suspect that there was another topic on this, though. It's a hard to avoid subject, but yesterday's TODAY show segment on this got me thinking. It's either the media blowing things out of proportion again, or an actual increase in middle-school sex.

ajmrowland - Apologies are in order to you from me...I re-read my post and just now realized....I must not be use to my new laptop computer since I accidentlally posted my post and somehow I cut part of it and didn't realize it until just now....I meant to post something in regards to I hope you take no offense to this....It's just that when I saw the last topic about this....It got pretty intense....and turned into a thring ring circus through my eyes.....although now thinking back as I am typing this....it was a thread that dealed a bit more personal with it was titled are you a virgin.....I think that's the thread I was thinking of.....the other night...so again I apolgize for offending you....and I apologize for my rant...


I will not edit my first post because just like in real life you can't just edit and fix your mistakes....just like teens who may regret later in life having sex before your married and are still in school such as junior high or high school.....you can't fix your mistakes or regrets.......the best you can do is learn from the mistakes or regrets and try to move on....just like I believe no one and I mean no one can escape their past...the only way I believe is to face your past and deal with it and learn from it.

[Elladorine]

"Kids" have always been having sex; I think the issue now is that people are more open to talk/admit/complain about it publicly, thus we are more able to gawk at what used to be swept under the rug. I knew of classmates that were having sex when we were all around 12 or so, and that was over 20 years ago in a very small town. We had an alarming pregnancy rate within our high school as well, but that was pretty typical of any school I knew of at the time. And to look back even further, my parents were friends with a lady that had a baby when she was 14, who was forced to drop out of school so it could be kept secret and not "shame" her family . . . and this was way back in the 1940's.

Not that everyone starts out so early of course, some of us do wait for one reason or another. I never had "the talk" from my parents. Our school sex ed program taught about both abstinence and various forms of birth control and protection against STD's, the latter of which was very controversial with the parents. I actually felt it was a great program, but apparently a lot of our students didn't learn a thing from it regardless.

I think all we can really do is be frank when it comes to the responsibilities and potential consequences that come along with sex and explain why it's best to be emotionally/physically/monetarily ready for it, and then trust our kids to make the right decisions with that information. Cramming it down their throats that the very idea of premarital sex (or just sex in general) is immoral and wrong only breeds curiosity, ignorance, and defiance.

[my chicken is infected]

It's not realistic to assume that because you tell your kids it's better to wait until they're adults to have sex, the truth is, they're more likely to NOT wait until they're out of high school, much less married. You don't have to condone your kids having sex, but parents need to wake up and realize that saying "Just wait" isn't going to do shit if they've already decided to have sex.

If I ever have kids, I'm sure I would rather they wait until at least they're out of high school to have sex, because they can hopefully make better decisions that way. (Of course, some adults have that problem too, but that's not the point of this post.) But I'm gonna tell them all about the potential consequences of sex too. And I'll even buy the birth control pills for my daughter (they have plenty of benefits besides just controlling birth these days) and condoms for any kids. I think parents should make sure their children, no matter what gender, are carrying one or two condoms at all times. Yes, even the girls. I'll tell my boys to use condoms even though they may not feel as good as without because herpes, I'm sure, feels a lot worse, and being told at 16 that you're a father probably isn't that nice either. I'll tell my girls to subscribe to the "no glove, no love" rule, for those same reasons. Sure, a condom may not feel natural to you, but neither will the burning of herpes or what's basically a bowling ball coming out of there. And yeah, if you're horny and you find neither of you have condoms, too bad. Your hands, hopefully, aren't broken!

I'll also impress upon my kids to not do it just because their SO is pressuring them to do it. If you're not ready, don't do it just because you're afraid your SO will leave you. If they'd leave you just because you won't have sex with them, they don't really love you that much anyway. If your SO really loves you, they'll be patient because they'd know it's worth waiting for.

Basically, I'd do whatever possible to make sure my kids don't become another STD or teen pregnancy statistic. The rest is up to them. Since sex ed that isn't abstinence-only isn't likely to become the norm in school anytime soon, it'll be my responsibility. Actually, no matter what kind of sex ed a school has, the ultimate responsibility should be the parents, and if you're uncomfortable talking to your kids about sex - get over it.

[Lazario]

I hate kids. Therefore, kids having sex is a big downer to have to hear about.

As for - why this is happening, and I do think it's happening more now than before, I think the conservative Breeder Culture's "we don't care" answer to Overpopulation is not helping at all. Not to mention the celebrity status of really morally bankrupt people on TV such as Hugh Hefner, Joe Francis, Gene Simmons, and fathers selling out their children or just talking a lot about their bodies like Donald Trump and Joe Truett Simpson. All of them lowering the reputation of women across the nation, reducing them to objects. Yeah, sex sells. But there's no need to keep handing out fame and fortune for humiliating and degrading people.

But, I'm a constant crusader against materialism and superficiality - so I'm sure you expected me to say this.

[ajmrowland]

"Kids" have always been having sex; I think the issue now is that people are more open to talk/admit/complain about it publicly, thus we are more able to gawk at what used to be swept under the rug. I knew of classmates that were having sex when we were all around 12 or so, and that was over 20 years ago in a very small town. We had an alarming pregnancy rate within our high school as well, but that was pretty typical of any school I knew of at the time. And to look back even further, my parents were friends with a lady that had a baby when she was 14, who was forced to drop out of school so it could be kept secret and not "shame" her family . . . and this was way back in the 1940's.

Huh, go figure.

Not that everyone starts out so early of course, some of us do wait for one reason or another. I never had "the talk" from my parents. Our school sex ed program taught about both abstinence and various forms of birth control and protection against STD's, the latter of which was very controversial with the parents. I actually felt it was a great program, but apparently a lot of our students didn't learn a thing from it regardless.

You find that many people dont learn a thing about anything that's happened before.

I think all we can really do is be frank when it comes to the responsibilities and potential consequences that come along with sex and explain why it's best to be emotionally/physically/monetarily ready for it, and then trust our kids to make the right decisions with that information. Cramming it down their throats that the very idea of premarital sex (or just sex in general) is immoral and wrong only breeds curiosity, ignorance, and defiance.

^Yeah, the "because I said so" excuse is really just an excuse for a parent not to question their own judgement. IF I were told not to I would ask for a full-blown explanation and milk every bit of information I could get.