A Question About Adoption

Jasmine1022 · Post by **Jasmine1022** » Mon Jan 19, 2009 7:15 pm

When I was two months old I was adopted by my parents. I've known since I was a little kid. For the longest time I've wanted to meet my birth parents but have no idea how to begin. I don't have the support of my adopted parents because they don't understand this biting curiousity. Does anyone have any information to offer?

pap64 · Post by **pap64** » Mon Jan 19, 2009 7:18 pm

Hmm...

Sad to hear your parents aren't supportive enough. The only solution I can think of is trying to contact the adoption agency and see if they have any info.

Worst case scenario...you go to a talk and cry your eyes out

.

Jasmine1022 · Post by **Jasmine1022** » Mon Jan 19, 2009 7:19 pm

I tried calling the number on the envelope all my papers and stuff are in, but it's a dead end. I think it either moved or went out of business. I also found the name of a lawyer who must have been part of my adoption but her number led me to a doctor's office so...

pap64 · Post by **pap64** » Mon Jan 19, 2009 7:23 pm

Jasmine1022 wrote:I tried calling the number on the envelope all my papers and stuff are in, but it's a dead end. I think it either moved or went out of business. I also found the name of a lawyer who must have been part of my adoption but her number led me to a doctor's office so...

Do you still have the name of the adoption agency? Maybe you can call for info or search online for any possible websites.

Jasmine1022 · Post by **Jasmine1022** » Mon Jan 19, 2009 7:25 pm

pap64 wrote:
Jasmine1022 wrote:I tried calling the number on the envelope all my papers and stuff are in, but it's a dead end. I think it either moved or went out of business. I also found the name of a lawyer who must have been part of my adoption but her number led me to a doctor's office so...
Do you still have the name of the adoption agency? Maybe you can call for info or search online for any possible websites.

I do know the name of the agency. I guess that's a place to start. Thanks

(I'd still like more suggestions!)

drfsupercenter · Post by **drfsupercenter** » Mon Jan 19, 2009 8:00 pm

Do you use your real last name, or your adoptive parents' last name?

With AnyWho.com and YellowPages.com, it's amazing how much info you can find on someone just by typing their name in

Siren · Post by **Siren** » Mon Jan 19, 2009 10:06 pm

If the adoption agency is no help, maybe contact one of these tv shows, like Unsolved Mysteries. Almost every show from Unsolved Mystery has one segment about either a child who was adopted and wants to find their parents or vice versa.

Jack Skellington · Post by **Jack Skellington** » Mon Jan 19, 2009 11:52 pm

Wow Megan, I didn't know that about you.

I think the best way to find out, is from your parents,
tell them that you will always consider them your parents, but youre just curious about your genes, and you want to find out more about your family's health problems, etc. Maybe then they might be concerned.

Jasmine1022 · Post by **Jasmine1022** » Tue Jan 20, 2009 5:38 am

drfsupercenter wrote:Do you use your real last name, or your adoptive parents' last name?

With AnyWho.com and YellowPages.com, it's amazing how much info you can find on someone just by typing their name in

I don't know their names. I guess that was the standard back in 1989.

Siren wrote:If the adoption agency is no help, maybe contact one of these tv shows, like Unsolved Mysteries. Almost every show from Unsolved Mystery has one segment about either a child who was adopted and wants to find their parents or vice versa.

That's my last and final option due to it's lack of subtlety. I have considered it, but my parents don't even know that I'm looking and that's really obvious. Not that they watch those shows, but still.

Jack Skellington wrote:Wow Megan, I didn't know that about you.

I think the best way to find out, is from your parents,
tell them that you will always consider them your parents, but youre just curious about your genes, and you want to find out more about your family's health problems, etc. Maybe then they might be concerned.

There is an envelope in my parents' room which has my adoption info in it. In it, there's the info about my parents, grandparents, and stuff. It's not extensive, but it does answer any questions about heart history and things like that.

blackcauldron85 · Post by **blackcauldron85** » Tue Jan 20, 2009 11:00 am

Megan, these articles/websites may (or may not, but hopefully may!) help you out:

http://genealogy.about.com/cs/adoption/ ... search.htm

http://www.freeprf.com/birth_parents.html

http://www.adopting.org/adoptions/adopt ... amily.html

I like the idea that one of the articles mentions- contacting your birth hospital. Some workers might not help you, but some just might look into your records to at least give you a name or something.

thomashton · Post by **thomashton** » Tue Jan 20, 2009 4:46 pm

I'm sorry your parents aren't more helpful.

I was adopted as well in 1975 the day I was born. My mom was there at the hospital to pick me up. I have considered my adoptive parents my parents period and all the time I grew up had zero interest in knowing anything about my birth parents. My mom one day forced on me that my birth mother's name is Jill. I didn't care.

I grew up, got married, finished school and the summer before moving out of state (1999), to go to grad school I was talking with my step mom (my adoptive mom had passed away by this time). She began talking about my adoption, birth parents, birth grandparents etc. I asked her where she knew all of this information (only having been a part of my life for 3 years). She said, "your father dummy. Go ask him."

I did and as always he was more than willing to share everything he could. He even offered to send a letter to them asking if they were interested in contact with me. All he requested of me was a current picture of me and my wife. I didn't get to it and moved away for school. About 9 months later I got an email from my dad. He said, "I was sick of waiting for your photo so I sent a letter without it. Attached is an email response from your birth mother."

That email changed my life. I learned of how she was 17 when I was born, not married, and unable to care for me. She and my birth father split up after my birth. He moved to Alberta. She stayed in Toronto, married two years later, and had 4 more children. He never married or had any other children. He would call every year around my birthday to see if she had heard anything of me that year.

She divorced. He came out to visit. They fell back in love and he moved back to Toronto to be with her. They have been back together since 1996. I met them in 2000. My wife and I took our son up to visit in 2002 and to celebrate his first birthday there. He is named Turner--my birth father's last name--the only way it would live on as he has no other children. We have stayed in contact and visited many other times. My children (2 now) have three sets of grandparents who love each other and them.

I have had four mothers (birth, adoptive, in-law, and step), and three fathers (birth, adoptive, and in-law) who love me and my family and we are blessed for it. My story is not common I know, but let you parents know that more family and more love is never bad. Your love for them will not lessen with increased involvement with your birth parents. Either you will love them more because they brought a new wonderful relationship into your life, or you will love them more because you see better now just how wonderful they were for you as they raised you. Either way, they win. There is no need for them to feel threatened.

Mr. Toad · Post by **Mr. Toad** » Tue Jan 20, 2009 7:29 pm

My wife found hers through a government registry. However, the birth parents had to register too. Unless both parties registered they could not do it.

Jasmine1022 · Post by **Jasmine1022** » Tue Jan 20, 2009 9:13 pm

oh, thomashton, that's all I could ever really want. It's not that I don't love my parents (as much as I can, there's more than a little tension in the house right now. I think once I move out it will be better on everyone) I'm just curious! My parents (my mom especially) seems to think that I hate her and will leave her if I do indeed find them. It's ridiculous.

Amy, thanks for the websites! I will look into them tomorrow<3

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