I need love advice (please!!)

[Nala'84]

Well, Its not like we're exactly beach babes or anythin. Honestly, I find muscle-bound guys unattractive... those posters for ck jeans and whatnot w washboard stomachs make me go eeew. I like guys with a big frame and a little squishy for comfy cuddles. I will tell ya, I am nuthin special. I'm just a little tomboy, otaku, gamer. I am not bold because I can back it up, per se. I'm not overweight but I don't have a pinched in waist either. Maybe I developed boldness since I am not noticed otherwise. I spend my efforts hanging out with abnormal people, have plenty of good friendships and we always have a blast. I highly dislike the 'normal' people.. the prissy princesses that have a meltdown for weeks because their boyfriend couldn't take them to a fancy restraunt. Such fickle things.. I almost wish I had that luxury. I am older than my brother.. I fussed over him when he was a baby and i was a toddler. I have been there for everything he has ever gone through. We took up bowling, baseball, games, anime, everything together. We have all the same friends. I have had to follow him around the neighborhood rather than do what I wanted.
All of this.. and I still can't quite completely figure him out.
My fiance is more of a cut-and-dry 'Shy guy'.
There is more to my brother... hes so zoned out yet zeroed-in on whatever task is at hand.. most often a video game or anime.
It is like he over-concentrates, critically thinks over everything.
And he is often dead silent.. in more of a stern way, rather than a
timid shy way.
I don't know.. is what it comes down to.
I simply have no clue to go on.
Mermaidkelly sees something in him...
She can let me know if she ever figures him out .
Lol.. like we've evr been on 'spring break'.
Closest ive come to anything like that... I bought my fiance a 'spring break' AXE deoderant kit with a "Spring baked devil-ducky".
Mermaidkelly got one too... just for that damn Ducky .


BTW: W007, first on page 2! .

[slave2moonlight]

Well, he could just be the OTHER type of "shy guy." The ticking time-bomb psychotic... Beware! ha. Seriously.

[Nala'84]

Lol.. ya thats what everyone says

[Mermaid Kelly]

And he is often dead silent.. in more of a stern way, rather than a timid shy way.

I don't really agree with that...he's not stern at all...most of the time he shows no emotion like when he's just hanging out at the college...he just paces back and forth to himself while others are talking... He doesn't seem to take things out on other people, he's usually kind and polite to everyone...

[The Merman]

Okay, im gonna give my advice on the situation cause I think it is amazing that Kelly would open up like this on a forum.

Im 19 and have a little "wisdom on approach methods" to try and help you a little along your way.

I tell you this, all teen guys understand when you are flirting with them on some level. BUT like most teen guys he isnt sure what to do with these signals you are sending him. You told us that you have been playing video games, watching anime movies with him ect. and that you enjoy the time you spend with him alone. This means you have (even if you dont know it) been flirting with him already and he knows that aswell.

BUT as a teen guy I can tell you that even though he knows you are flirting he does not know for sure and what to do with it because what would be the result. So you come at a point where you are both afraid to do something with your current situation. Direct vocal confrontation is very tricky. Because he has no social skills you might scare him if you ask him about what is going on and if you two could be a couple. Scare him and you might actually lose a very good friend.

1: So here is what to do. You have to be alone somewhere for this to work. When you are in his room and watching a movie or playing video games, keep trying to lock his eyes on yours. You have to look him straight in the eye long enough that there is this weird vibe between you two where I am sure, either you or he will look away. When you look away smile and seem a little embarased. This only takes a few secondes but he will have felt the same strange vibe that jumped between you two.

Then after you have done this, everytime he talks to you you look him straight in his eyes and seem very attentive. If he looks away while you look him in the eye, and he seem nervous it means he likes you! (This is difficult for shy people but it really does work wonders, try it on friends and family first. Look them in the eye when they are talking to you and they will ask you "whats wrong? do i have something on my face?" this means you have achieved your goal!)

Looking someone in the eye always creates the kissing moment. Yes the powerful kiss that tells you all you need to know. If the kissing moment comes by you will know! Because it is a moment where you are both silent but still looking in the eyes (It is the worst moment of uncertantie and doubt if you should move closer or not to kiss him. I say, move closer and go for it... If he kisses you aswell you have ultimate confirmation that he is interested in more.) Every guy likes a kiss, there is no doubt about that. If you have not achieved the kissing moment, or you did have it and you didnt go in for the kiss, then there is a backup plan. What you do is, when your evening is over and you are saying goodbye, then kiss him on his cheek. Plant the kiss close to the corner of his mouth!!! This is a very good sign that you like him and it is also amazingly cute!

This is my advice and I hope it will help you in your quest! Keep us on the know and tell me if you used any of my advice and if it worked?
I hope you all the best! Goodluck!
Merman

[slave2moonlight]

Okay, speaking as a 31 year old guy, the stuff Merman just posted is the kind of stuff I think is a bad idea. All that game playing and hinting. Creepy staring. Except for the back-up plan, that is. If you just initiate a kiss yourself, he ought to figure out you like him. I also disagree with Merman that ALL guys know when you are flirting with them. How could anyone know that, anyway? You can't know that "ALL" guys know something. What you can know is that SOME guys don't realize it, and that I can very much assure you of. Even Merman contradicted himself on that by saying, "I can tell you that even though he knows you are flirting he does not know for sure."

I have to be honest with you though, from both your descriptions, he sounds like a creepy guy. I always recommend girls go for the shy type guys over the others, but not if they are extremely creepy, ha.

[The Merman]

Haha what I mean is. When a girl flirts with them he knows that she does BUT he is not 100% sure and he does not know what to do with it! And no-one (especially guys) wants to be rejected so they dont act on it. That is why I mentioned the eye locking technique, it really works and is so plainly obvious.

If you frighten a shy guy by just plainly saying "We should be boyfriend and Girlfriend" you could mess everything up. You see you must also think about the fact that mabey the thought of a girlfriend alone firghtens him. A kiss is never a permanent thing. Its never like "We kissed so now you are MINE!" If you make out or do the flirting thing then there is much more time passing by for him to get used to the idea that mabey it would not be so scary.

Anyway that is what I think and the guy does not sound creepy, just quiet thinker.

[slave2moonlight]

Haha what I mean is. When a girl flirts with them he knows that she does BUT he is not 100% sure and he does not know what to do with it! And no-one (especially guys) wants to be rejected so they dont act on it. That is why I mentioned the eye locking technique, it really works and is so plainly obvious.

If you frighten a shy guy by just plainly saying "We should be boyfriend and Girlfriend" you could mess everything up. You see you must also think about the fact that mabey the thought of a girlfriend alone firghtens him. A kiss is never a permanent thing. Its never like "We kissed so now you are MINE!" If you make out or do the flirting thing then there is much more time passing by for him to get used to the idea that mabey it would not be so scary.

Anyway that is what I think and the guy does not sound creepy, just quiet thinker.

Well, saying, "We should be boyfriend and girlfriend," is completely different from letting them know you are interested, and there's nothing smart or healthy about full on "making out" before you even know if someone is interested in you as more than a friend. Most guys will be willing to make out with a girl whether they are interested in her or not, so that's not really a great idea and it will also taint his decision making. In other words, he might suddenly decide he wants to date her purely on the basis of enjoying making out. In fact, with that in mind, I have to take back my support of even the single kiss to let him know you like him. Yes, it will let him know clearly, but it could affect his decision. You really want to find out how he feels about you before having that sort of contact. The best bet is to flat out tell him you are interested in him as more than a friend, but there's no harm in TRYING the signals on him first. Just don't give up if they don't work. As I said, not ALL guys recognize them.