Directors' Report Cards: Halloween Edition (List 21)

[Goliath]

Kevin Smith:

Zack and Miri Make a Porno (2008)- 7.5
Not the type of movie I would normally watch, but I was really surprised how funny it was. I do think the last half hour was too sappy and preachy for its own good, but I hear that happens often with these type of movies.

Dogma (1999)- 5
Interesting idea for a good satire on religion, but very weak execution, in my opinion. Too loud and too obvious and... to little good jokes.

Chasing Amy (1997)- 5
Same as above: premise is interesting, movie as a whole is disappointing.

-

Alexander Payne:

Sideways (2004)- 7
I like the idea that the characters and dialogue are supposed to carry this movie, instead of the story. The story is forgettable and doesn't matter much. I liked Paul Giamatti's portrayal of Miles, but didn't care much for the other characters. It had funny moments, but became repetitious after a while.

-

Guy Richie:

Sherlock Holmes (2009)-
Still have to watch it. I have the dvd here... somewhere...

Snatch. (2000)- 7.5
A weaker L,S&TSB.

Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (1998)- 8.5
Exciting, very well written story; clever editing; convincing leading actors; and some very absurd but funny twists make this a very good film.

-

Terry Zwigoff

Ghost World (2001)- 6
I remember Steve Buscemi, Scarlett Johansson (of course!) and Thora Birch, and that I really, really wanted to like it a whole lot more than I did, because I could see the potential. But it simply didn't do much for me.

-

Todd Haynes:

I'm Not There. (2007)- 8.5
The subject is Bob Dylan's life in the 1960's and early 1970's and it features a dozen of his songs, including some incredible cover versions. Only for that it deserves a high rating. But, this is not an ordinary biopic. For such a multi-faceted and mysterious person as Dylan, Haynes tells his lifestory in non-chronological order, and he used nine different actors, including the African-American Marcus Carl Franklin, and Cate Blanchett. She gives the most memorable performance and is totally convincing. What's fun to know, is that entire pieces of dialogue from interviews with Dylan are literally recreated word for word. Overall, it gives a caleidoscopic view on a multi-talented superstar. People who aren't familiar with Dylan's life and work would probably be lost while watching, however.


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[jpanimation]

Wes Anderson:

Fantastic Mr. Fox (2009) - 6.5
Entertaining enough but I just don't really care for the dry humor.

The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou (2004) - 5.5
I had to watch this a second time because I fell asleep the first.

The Royal Tenenbaums (2001) -
I saw it a while back and didn't care for it.

Rushmore (1998) - 6.5
It was alright but still not great.

Bottle Rocket (1996) -
With both of the Wilson brothers. It was alright.

Kevin Smith:

I'm kind of embarrassed by this but I've never seen any of his movies. My friends are always quoting Clerks and trying to get me to watch it but I keep missing my opportunities.

Alexander Payne:

Sideways (2004) - 6
Holy shit is this overrated. Interesting characters in a very uninteresting story.

Guy Richie:

Sherlock Holmes (2009) - 7
Better then I expected.

Snatch. (2000) - 8
Kind of a more stylized and entertaining version of LS&TSB.

Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (1998) - 7.5
It surprised me by just how enjoyable it was. Well written too.

Mary Harron

American Psycho (2000) - 7.5
This movie also surprised me by how much I liked it.

Terry Zwigoff

Bad Santa (2003) -
I saw it a while back but remember being entertained.

David Gordon Green:

Pineapple Express (2008) - 6.5
Disappointing. Not very many laughs.

[Lazario]

The Directors
(I thought Leone and Mann had kinda short lists between the two, so there are 6 this time):



Akira Kurosawa:

Madadayo (1993)
Rhapsody in August (1991)
Dreams (1990)
Ran (1985)
Kagemusha (1980)
Dersu Uzala (1975)
Dodes'ka-den (1970)
Red Beard (1965)
High and Low (1963)
Sanjuro (1962)
Yojimbo (1961)
The Bad Sleep Well (1960)
The Hidden Fortress (1958)
The Lower Depths (1957)
Throne of Blood (1957)
I Live in Fear (1955)
Seven Samurai (1954)
Ikiru (1952)
The Idiot (1951)
Rashomon (1950)
Scandal (1950)
Stray Dog (1949)
The Quiet Duel (1949)
Drunken Angel (1948)
One Wonderful Sunday (1947)
No Regrets for Our Youth (1946)
Those Who Make Tomorrow (1946)
Sanshiro Sugata Part Two (1945)
The Men Who Tread on the Tiger's Tail (1945)
The Most Beautiful (1944)
Sanshiro Sugata (1943)

-


Sergio Leone (I'm crediting him for all the films IMDb lists him as Uncredited for):

Once Upon a Time in America (1984)
A Genius, Two Friends, and an Idiot (1975)
My Name is Nobody (1973)
Duck, You Sucker (1971)
Once Upon a Time in the West (1968)
The Good, the Bad and the Ugly (1966)
For a Few Dollars More (1965)
A Fistful of Dollars (1964)
The Colossus of Rhodes (1961)
The Last Days of Pompeii (1959)
Hanno rubato un tram (1954)

-


Samuel Fuller:

Tinikling ou 'La madonne et le dragon' / The Madonna and the Dragon (1990)
Samuel Fuller's Street of No Return (1989)
Les voleurs de la nuit / Thieves After Dark (1984)
White Dog (1982)
The Big Red One (1980)
Caine (1969)
The Meanest Men in the West (1967)
The Naked Kiss (1964)
Shock Corridor (1963)
Merrill's Marauders (1962)
Underworld U.S.A. (1961)
The Crimson Kimono (1959)
Verboten! (1959)
Forty Guns (1957)
Run of the Arrow (1957)
China Gate (1957)
House of Bamboo (1955)
Hell and High Water (1954)
Pickup on South Street (1953)
Park Row (1952)
Fixed Bayonets! (1951)
The Steel Helmet (1951)
The Baron of Arizona (1950)
I Shot Jesse James (1949)

-

<img src="http://www.deadline.com/wp-content/uplo ... scott2.jpg" width="205" height="255" border="0">
Ridley Scott:

Robin Hood (2010)
Body of Lies (2008)
American Gangster (2007)
A Good Year (2006)
Kingdom of Heaven (2005)
Matchstick Men (2003)
Black Hawk Down (2001)
Hannibal (2001)
Gladiator (2000)
G.I. Jane (1997)
White Squall (1996)
1492: Conquest of Paradise (1992)
Thelma & Louise (1991)
Black Rain (1989)
Someone to Watch Over Me (1987)
Legend (1985)
Blade Runner (1982)
Alien (1979)
The Duellists (1977)

-


Michael Mann:

Public Enemies (2009)
Miami Vice (2006)
Collateral (2004)
Ali (2001)
The Insider (1999)
Heat (1995)
The Last of the Mohicans (1992)
L.A. Takedown (1989)
Manhunter (1986)
The Keep (1983)
Thief (1981)
The Jericho Mile (1979)
Insurrection (1968)

-


John Carpenter:

Masters of Horror: Pro-Life (2006)
Masters of Horror Cigarette Burns (2005)
Ghosts of Mars (2001)
Vampires (1998)
Escape from L.A. (1996)
Village of the Damned (1995)
In the Mouth of Madness (1994)
Body Bags (1993)
Memoirs of an Invisible Man (1992)
They Live (1988)
Prince of Darkness (1987)
Big Trouble in Little China (1986)
Starman (1984)
Christine (1983)
The Thing (1982)
Escape from New York (1981)
The Fog (1980)
Elvis (1979)
Someone's Watching Me! (1978))
Halloween (1978)
Assault on Precinct 13 (1976)
Dark Star (1974)

[jpanimation]

Akira Kurosawa:

Kagemusha (1980) - 6.5
It wasn't bad, but not Kurosawa quality.

Red Beard (1965) - 8
A very engaging medical drama.

Yojimbo (1961) -
I've seen the Sergio Leone remake and I really want to see the original.

Seven Samurai (1954) - 8
Great movie, albeit a little long. Way better the The Magnificent Seven and A Bug's Life.

Rashomon (1950) - 8
This was actually pretty funny in parts.

That's it, I told you my list would be short. There are soo many I want to see but the premium Criterion pricing is keeping them out of my library and I refuse to blind buy (especially at that price).

Sergio Leone:

Once Upon a Time in America (1984) - 6.5
Very overrated. There were points where I found myself not caring what was going on.

Duck, You Sucker (1971) - 6
My very recent review here. Disappointing.

Once Upon a Time in the West (1968) - 8
Long, slowly paced and wonderful.

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly (1966) - 8.5
The three main characters are very entertaining.

For a Few Dollars More (1965) - 7.5
Not bad. This is actually my Dad's favorite.

A Fistful of Dollars (1964) - 7
While the weakest in the trilogy, it's still good.

Samuel Fuller:

I've got nothing.

Ridley Scott:

Robin Hood (2010) - 6
It ends right before the good stuff was about to begin, after making us sit through this empty rewrite of history. It actually made me miss Errol Flynn.

Body of Lies (2008) - 6
I tire of both Leonardo DiCaprio and Russell Crowe. I also tire of CIA conspiracies and terrorist hunting. Why did I even watch this movie?

American Gangster (2007) - 8
I was surprised by how good this was. Denzel was totally badass.

Kingdom of Heaven (2005) -
I want to see this but I've been advised to ONLY watch the Director's Cut. Since you can only get the Director's Cut by purchasing a 4-disc set, my library (or any rental chain for that matter) won't get it and I refuse to blind buy or watch crappy videos online.

Matchstick Men (2003) - 6.5
It's been a while but I remember something about his best friend betraying him and really hating that part of the movie.

Black Hawk Down (2001) - 7.5
WTF is going on and who is that guy again? Perfectly captures that chaotic nature of war.

Gladiator (2000) - 8
I also just recently reviewed this one. You can find it here

Thelma & Louise (1991) - 6.5
It wasn't as bad but I started to loose interest towards the end.

Blade Runner (1982) - 7
Great visual effects, art design, and at least half of the score is brilliant. It also brings up some interesting ideas of what it means to be human. Unfortunately when stripped away of all that it's a pretty standard noir and and it can bore in a few spots.

Alien (1979) - 8
Great concept, suspense, and atmosphere. My major complaint is with the LAUGHABLE special effects (man it a suit with a visible zipper and a sock puppet chest burster).

Michael Mann:

Public Enemies (2009) - 6
I fell asleep.

Miami Vice (2006) -
I caught part of it and didn't really care for it.

Collateral (2004) - 8
I really don't understand why this is so underrated. I actually like Tom Cruise in it.

The Insider (1999) - 6
Bored me to tears.

Heat (1995) - 7.5
Pretty good action stuff going on. Likable characters.

The Last of the Mohicans (1992) - 8
WAY better then the original 30s version. Great score and fast moving entertainment.

John Carpenter:

Memoirs of an Invisible Man (1992) - 5.5
This was just plain bad. Nice special effect though.

Big Trouble in Little China (1986) -
It's been too long but I remember it being campy fun.

Starman (1984) - 6.5
Not all bad, there is some good stuff, but not much really happens.

Christine (1983) - 6.5
It's as good as a movie with a killer car can be. Great atmosphere.

The Thing (1982) - 7.5
I really like the atmosphere in this one. The creature designs can be a little over-the-top but it's still great. Worthy re-imagining of the original.

Escape from New York (1981) - 6
I pretty much couldn't stand how B movie this was. It felt like a student film.

The Fog (1980) - 6.5
Great concept but some wasted opportunity.

Halloween (1978) - 7.5
Great score and iconic villain. This is how you make horror on a budget.

Assault on Precinct 13 (1976) - 7.5
Great budgeted thriller. My older brother grew up on this movie and I was surprised by how much I enjoyed it. Hated the remake.

[PixarFan2006]

Akira Kurosawa
Seven Samurai - 7.5/10

Ridley Scott
Alien - 8/10

Cannot grade the others as I have not seen any of their movies (Boy, am I pathetic )

[Goliath]

Akira Kurosawa:

Rashomon (1950)- 5
Okay, don't shoot me! This is a *personal* rating. It's too slow, repetitious (yes, I know that's part of the plot, but it could've been done more creatively), the story is not really engaging at all, the characters are caricatures... need I go on?

-

Sergio Leone:

Once Upon a Time in America (1984)-
I'm not sure how to rate it. I believe the version I watched on tv was an abridged version and not the four hours Leone intended it to be, and it's said that the cutting made the film messy. Also, I watched it years and years ago with my then-girlfriend and the only thing I remember from the eight (!) hours we took to 'watch' it, I remember almost nothing that has any relation to the film.

Once Upon a Time in the West (1968)- 10
Simply brilliant. Has everything you want in a great movie: epic story, beautiful sets, excellent camera-work, solid performances, gorgeous soundtrack, masterful direction, and Claudia Cardinale.

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly (1966)- 10
Easily the best of the 'dollars-trilogy'. The story is simple and told in a no-nonsense way, but that's what makes it so strong. It gives you the chance to really focus on the characters and how they relate to each other, and that's the real strenght of the film.

For a Few Dollars More (1965)- 8.5
The most atmospheric of the trilogy. But I like Eastwood and Van Cleef more as antagonists than teamplayers, like they are here. The villain is a bit over the top. I really love the ending, with the showdown in the circle (trademark of Leone).

A Fistful of Dollars (1964)- 7.5
I like this one the least out of the 'dollars-trilogy'. Leone still needed to find his definitve form, as did Ennio Morricone, whose later soundtracks far surpass this one's, although he's doing a pretty good job here as well. The story is a bit flimsy.

-

Ridley Scott:

Body of Lies (2008)- 6.5
Meh. That's really all there is to say about this action thriller. It's a standard popcorn flick with all the familiar ingredients: good looking hero, exotic location, a political conspiracy, some torture, some meaningless romantic sub-plot, you know the works...

American Gangster (2007)- 8
Strong performance by Denzel Washington in this intruiging crime story, but it goes on about 15 minutes too long after what should've been the ending.

Thelma & Louise (1991)- 8.5
How is this 'a women's movie'? I would like to know. Everybody keeps telling me. Is it because it stars two women who break with traditional role patterns (without losing their femininity)? Is that why men dislike it; because they dislike strong women? This is one of my all-time favorites and I think that will never change.

Blade Runner (1982)-
I never finished it. I didn't even make it to the middle. I guess this is just not for me...

Alien (1979)- 4
I wanted to rate it even lower, but there *are* worse movies. I think this may be the world's most overrated film of all time. Maybe it was scary or exciting way back in '79 (though I doubt less people would have almost fell asleep during the first half hour back then), but to me, it was mostly ridiculous. When that guy's head comes off, I rolled my eyes so hard they almost fell out. Everything that's supposed to be scary, like the creature bursting out of the guy's belly, is laughable. And then the ending... yes, OF COURSE the alien comes back one last time to attack Ripley when we think she's all safe and sound!!! An excellent overused cliche to end an overrated film.

-

Michael Mann:

Public Enemies (2009)- 8
Maybe a bit too long, but engaging crime story anyway. I do wish he would've put the camera down sometimes, though. Depp proves he really CAN act (when he's not playing Mat Hatters or Captain Sparrows) and Marion Cottillard is gorgeous.

Collateral (2004)- 7.5
Well-made thriller, but not as good as I expected. Love the shots of L.A. by night, though. The way it's filmed makes it feel like you're there with the characters.

Ali (2001)- 7
Will Smith carries this otherwise not too interesting pic. His performance gives it added value. Should've been shorter, too.

Heat (1995)- 7.5
Suffers again from being too long. Not I don't like long films (witness Leone's westerns or the Godfathers), but lenght is not a virtue in itself and Mann has a hard time understanding this. Otherwise well-made thriller with the two best actors of their time, Pacino and De Niro, even sharing brief screen time.

[Lazario]

Penelope Spheeris:

The Beverly Hillbillies (1993) - 4
Obviously, this is quite bad. Although, I think it deserves a little credit for being made before the Scary Movie franchise turned every mainstream comedy into toilet humor trash. There may be one or two spare fart gags but; that's restraint. I have no fond memories of the original series, so I can put up with this. Also, it's quite well-cast. And... yeah, I liked Lily Tomlin as Miss Hathaway. Jim Varney is excellent as Jed Clampet and Erika Eleniak, though yeah she was a booby chick on Baywatch, is fantastic as well. Imbues a lot of heart into Ellie May, which I believed, and was never in the silly show (which itself was just another weird family fish-out-of-water comedy in the same vein as Addams and Munsters, only without the classic horror angle). Only the writing here fails. Although... there are some bizarre things they stick in instead. Ellie May and her rich tag-along friend being bullied by preppie wrestling team jocks. Um... why'd I stop to mention that? It actually almost makes 1999's Jawbreaker seem clever, at least the "big stick" scene ("I'm good at a lot of things." "Oh, I should have known- you are on the wrestling team"). Eleniak's wrestling showdown with James Schmid, scored to Joe Walsh's "Rocky Mountain Way," is one of the most unintentionally kinky scenes in Hollywood history. All that's missing is the mud and slow-mo replay. Though the music does enough to make it feel longer than it should be.

Wayne's World (1992) - 8.5
There's obviously a great energy to rock and roll music and this is a movie Spheeris wanted to put that carefree but larger than life spirit into. It's not exactly great material, if you take the jokes for the words and not the performances, or you take the performances away from the film's fun vibe. It's like a bunch of separate skits with a weak connecting story. But you have to like it, and I've always enjoyed the hell out of the movie, for that energy- which catches on like wildfire with everyone. And, if I'm not mistaken, this was a major departure for Rob Lowe at the time who not only plays a sleazeball rather than a truly cool or debonair sweet-talker but also isn't afraid to do some very embarrassing scenes with all he's got (the cop search scene and subsequent uncomfortable walking into Wayne's house). That's more than I've ever seen Charlie Sheen have the guts to do (though I admit, I love The Chase). The cast is great, the characters are fun (if not funny), the music is excellent (of course). How could someone not enjoy this?

-

Jane Campion:

The Piano (1993) - 10
You know what? I like it when I can figure out what's going on in dramas. This one made some sense to me. I actually forgot why Hunter's character doesn't speak (I think it had something to do with the death of a husband or lover). In fact, I don't remember what happened in most of the movie. But I was quite young when I saw it and I was never bored. That alone is saying something. I do remember it's an unbelievably powerful romance between Hunter and Harvey Keitel. She can't have him, she is sort of sold into a marriage between her and Sam Neill. This takes place in a time where women don't seem to have any rights. So... what do you think happens next? She goes through scenes of cliched hardship while men try to push her around, break her spirit? No. Instead, she turns into... well... (the temptation is to say "slut," but the reality is more like:) a sexually-forward and passionate woman who enjoys the adventurous sex she was having with Keitel so much that she tries to re-enact the body-worship they engaged in together with Neill. They get into bed and she sorta figures: "might as well make the best of it." He seems a little shocked at first, but she just starts having her way with him as though marriage meant that she had rights to his body. That's progressive in my book. I've already seen the standard women's strife plots, this doesn't at all skimp on the drama but it makes it far more personal. Not to mention Hunter and Keitel are two of the finest actors I've ever seen. But it also is incredibly sexually edgy. Full male nudity (and beautiful views from both Keitel and Neill). And I agree with Coupling, which described this as "an erotic film for women." Boundaries are clearly broken with this drama- has Miramax ever before or after done anything in the period drama genre this daring and yet respectful to the characters?

-

Martha Coolidge:

Valley Girl (1983) - 8.5
A quite shockingly-serious little romantic comedy with realistic portrayals of both the very bad and the very good of sex, dating, parties, parents, drugs and drinking, etc. The adults are played up a little bit for humor's sake, but the material with the teens is shown very straight-forward. Which results in big emotion (especially the uncomfortable scenes- which are incredibly compelling and don't register as just Movie-Sad or Mean or Angry, but more than one at a time because it honestly plays that real) and huge laughs (especially from Elizabeth/E.G. Daily- who steals the show again and again and again!). You'll be surprised. If you've never seen it- do. One complaint (and it's a big one): when Cage's character is mad at Deborah Foreman's Julie, he cheats on her. She never finds out about it, he just does it and the movie kind of pretends it didn't happen, it just shifts completely into: 'Have to Win Her Back' mode. Even though when they do, it's a lot like The Graduate without any reminder that he went and cheated on her. Yeah, she basically broke up with him- but he chases after her like they're not broken up. So, he knew it was cheating. Not to mention, technically cheating or not - it's a damn slimy thing to do. Period. Since she was clearly portrayed as a victim of peer pressure. Who was pressuring him to go have sex with some club girl? (And the movie's main motivation to do all this? Director Coolidge was under contract to show 4 different topless women throughout the film, so this presented an opportunity to get in that #4.)

-

Kathryn Bigelow:

Near Dark (1987) - 7
My opinion on this movie changes every single time I think of it- let alone watch it. And I've seen it 4 times. It's another one of those rare horror films that isn't scary at all. Of course, it's a vampire flick too so... you're on the hunt with the 'villains' rather than in the place of the victims, sitting in potential fear of when they'll strike. It's also a western hybrid. The first time you see it, you're impressed by how bad it's isn't. Second time- you're wishing it was more horror, less action. The problem is that, no matter how exciting the gunfights and barfights are- the characters are boring. Real boring. And the one-liners don't help. The only one I believe really gets off on being a vampire is Jenny Wright. All the others complain far too much. I thought this was about freedom and lawlessness. Another film that can't quite complete the vampire fantasy. But the scenes with Wright and Adrian Pasdar alone are excellent. Good Tangerine Dream score too. I guess I gave it a 7 because odds are, you'll enjoy this a lot the first time you watch it. I did. That's usually enough for people.

-

Sophia Coppola:

The Virgin Suicides (1999) - 4
Air's music score is easily the best thing here. Just buy the soundtrack disc and pretend you saw the film. To me, it seemed like a remarkably hollow style piece. Not so much an art film, more of a pretty 70's scrapbook flick. What's the real story? Boys stare into the bedroom windows of 5 loner sisters with freakily sexually-repressed religious mother, leading to the girls killing themselves in artistic ways. Emphasis on: boys stare, girls kill themselves. The film is narrated by a male speaking in annoying poetically-detached voice, and because the girls live behind almost always closed-doors, we are forced to sit through scenes of the boys trying to come up with ways to "spend more time with" the girls. Some actually say "score" and maybe one of them says "panties" as well, but the film is really as crude as that sounded and yet, is trying to get by as a romantic fantasy. I wasn't more disturbed by the 10 minutes of Hostel: Part II I managed to sit through as I was by this film. It may very well be the most pretentious film I have ever seen. One of the girls at the start, after a doctor says "What are you doing here, honey? You're not even old enough to know how bad life gets" to her shoots back: "Obviously, Doctor, you've never been a 13-year-old girl." Then, toward the end of the film, there's a scene where a bunch of rich people are having a party and a drunk asshole mocks the girls' deaths by jumping into the pool and wailing something about "goodbye cruel world," you know- the usual cliche. So, you'd think this is a film about people's insensitivity to the hardships and depression of others, right? No, it's just a typical boys will be boys flick (obviously Paramount Classics were looking for their own Stand by Me). It really has almost nothing to do with the girls at all. The 4 goes for the great look of the film, the excellent performance by Kirsten Dunst, the Heart songs, and the one scene where the girl on TV tells a morbid story about making a pie for someone. It's hysterical the first time you see the movie. On 2nd viewing, not so much.

-

Kevin Smith:

Chasing Amy (1997) - 6 (Saw it on TV, so it was edited)
I don't remember much about it, but it was okay. Joey Lauren Adams was excellent (as usual), the guys were a little annoying. The comic book stuff was cool (if I remember correctly). The Jay (Silent Bob's other half) stuff was irritating as hell.

Clerks. (1994) - 7.5
I actually saw this only a few months ago and... I don't exactly remember it very well. It's not very much about the performances, mostly just the clever dialogue. And it is pretty darn clever. I laughed a couple times (you have no idea how infrequently that happens), I liked most of the characters. Jay was annoying as usual and the main character was a little too whiny. But I walked away from the movie with a couple crushes, so... It's hard to describe to someone unless you're a big fan. It's definitely worth checking out and much better than average. But it's likely that the hype will kill some of the magic for you. This isn't a masterpiece. Just quite good. Unless everyone you know is just like someone in this movie (highly unlikely... I hope).

-

Gregg Araki:

Splendor (1999) - 7
My favorite Araki film, but I'm predisposed to like living-together movies. At least when the filmmaker tries to do something different or new. Sort of coming-of-age meets romantic comedy meets analytical rules-of-dating journal. Three's Company meets Clueless meets Valley Girl meets Baby Boom. And yet, despite all the cultural references and possible mainstream influences, it's still trademark Araki. Not only because it's stylish beyond stylish, with rich dream-pop soundtrack to go along with it, but because it's an internal travel film with a lot of time given to figuring things out (though again, it's one hell of an incredibly good-looking movie, so of course things are spaced out to give us more time to jump to another location with new set design, colors, lights, mood, etc). In other words: self-indulgent. To the point where you might even lose character sympathy. Since it's about hopping another train (or in this movie's case, another person - this is where the internal-travel part comes in) rather than taking responsibility when things get serious. The story is made a little complicated since the woman in question has way too many people barking in her ears and she's inclined to listen to everyone, even if in the end she still makes up her own mind. The serious stuff is a little tacked-on for Araki (because all his films end up going that way eventually) but the cute and quirky stuff is fantastic. Eric Mabius on the other hand is creepy. And anyone watching this has to wonder what she sees in him anyway (not me, 'cause I would run this guy over like a monster truck- I like cute-and-creepy).

Nowhere (1997) - 8
Flaws first: the alien abduction stuff means nothing. And more than any other Araki film, I found it hard to take some of this ridiculous dialogue. But, naturally, all the emotion is genuine. Even though anyone watching today is likely to write this off as the most artificial style-orgy in the history of filmmaking (has it been equaled? I don't follow new-millennium indie film). It's a glorified 90-minute music video. Yes. But, when you're watching it- who cares? It's that entertaining. And even I have trouble thinking of music videos this freaking delicious!! It's eye-candy meets a children's playground. And... this CAST! I want to see The Doom Generation before I post this, and I've heard rumors far and wide about that one's cast. But, is it possible to rival this movie? Again, playground for people with hip-mainstream tastes in teen icons. Christina Applegate, Scott Caan, Rachel True, Guillermo Díaz, Staci Keanan, Nathan Bexton, Kathleen Robertson, Eve Plumb (hey, I didn't say they were all teens in the 90's). I nearly had a stalker's orgasm when I saw this: Traci Lords, Rose McGowan, and Shannen Doherty together ON ONE BENCH playing color-coordinated valley girls. How the HELL did Araki manage this?! Especially when it's just a cameo! Most of the characters show up in cameos or disappear through the ridiculous alien scenes. But the fact they're all together is a trip. I haven't even finished- Debi Mazar, Beverly D'Angelo, John Ritter, Christopher Knight (another Brady), Charlotte Rae, Stéphane Sednaoui. And for the standard teen icon fan, there's also: Heather Graham, Ryan Phillippe (I never swooned over his famous shower scene in I Know What You Did Last Summer, so I never got his cultural cachet), Denise Richards (which girl-on-girl make-out scene lovers will appreciate seeing in-tow), and Jordan Ladd (ha, another lesbian film reference: Embrace of the Vampire). The ending sucks, though.

The Living End (1992) - 9
Some of the side-bits (the billboard preachers, the shopping cart guy on leash, and the parking lot man and woman arguing) most likely mean nothing to most viewers. Aside from that, it's an exciting, anarchic romantic action road-trip drama. Exciting because it's entirely unpredictable, doesn't follow any rules, and understands human interaction is more interesting than over-the-top fight scenes. The temptation is to call it, for one, a gay Thelma & Louise. But it entirely redoes the concept of drama (more like realistic-fantasy) and again, action. Two would be a gay Clerks, because it is mostly dialogue-driven and features a lot of people just hanging out. The difference between that film and this is in scenes like the driving blow-job. Clerks was very motion-controlled and didn't movie around so much but this movie definitely roams. Also, like I said on The Piano, any film that can deliver an original, interesting sex scene is fascinating to me. This one takes a potentially disturbing fetish and makes it downright beautiful. Not a traditional anything- the director's greatest strength. As for the AIDS story elements, they never turn the movie into a drag. Having AIDS is put on the same level as having a job or a place to live, all are thrown to the wind in favor of living in the moment. While being involved in a romance. Which isn't anchored by pornography or sappy music. Even the more uncomfortable scenes (the highly emotional ending, which - though it suggests the couple could end up killing themselves or each other - comes off as touching and beautiful) are allowed to fly free in this very important film. Also... best Araki soundtrack. No question. This guy is very much the gay Quentin Tarantino when it comes to picking music for his movies (though both owe John Waters bigtime, who came decades before).

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Alexander Payne:

Election (1999) - 9
Another type of movie I'm pre-disposed to love: everybody gets what's coming to them (well... except for Tracy, very much a young Sarah Palin- I imagine). The set-up is just perfect. I actually had at least one teacher who reminded me of Mr. McAllister. Someone who has to always feel he's the man of the people and be the center of attention. That's the way I saw it. And there's almost nothing I would have enjoyed more than his humiliation in front of the entire school at the hands of something like an infidelity scandal. I almost never think of Ferris Bueller when I watch this. If anything, I'm thinking about how edgy and angry Reese was in Freeway- one of my favorite 90's films. And how she used to be a great talent before Legally Blonde's success brought her nothing but not-good Hollywood bores. She's incredible here. As a cut-throat high school overachiever (my favorite scene: her great "the voters know that elections aren't just popularity contests" angry speech). And of course, the greatest moment is the Tammy character (Jessica Campbell - who is only 20 days younger than me, born the exact same month and year as me) blasting the whole subject of the movie in her "Who cares about this stupid election" speech. A subversive masterpiece. I took 1 point away because some of the sex stuff seems to have been put there just to be absurd and didn't say anything (although the image they came up with for the scene of Broderick having sex with 3 different women at the same time is legitimately creepy, I'm just really not sure it fits with the point of the movie).

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Guy Richie:

Swept Away (2002) - 5.5
Madonna is truly hideous in this role, but that's nothing to do with her ability as an actress. She has one of the sexiest, most ageless speaking voices I've ever heard but has the face of a 50-something horror hag (she would make an excellent witch! Look at those teeth, now imagine her with long, black wig and pointy hat on- she'd kill as a witch) and the body of a 30-something woman who works out a lot. So, of course, she does everything in this movie right- she has all the parts of all the different women she's playing here: desperate woman, sad woman, pissy woman, woman who can't sing (that's the witch part in action, there- Sarah Jessica Parker's siren songstress from Hocus Pocus is not typical of a witch in my book). The man... if you ask me, he's better at the comedy. Though he's not in any way a typical "straight-man" (in this case, you know I mean the "serious" guy: an old comedy term). He's the sort of decent guy among the group of quasi-disgruntled boat workers (remember the scene where the guy playing the father type to him actually suggests they do the cocaine the rich men on the boat leave behind). I didn't exactly buy the ending or the whole ultra-serious drama that is supposed to have acculumated toward the late scenes, but I thought it worked. Other than that, I liked the first 20 or so minutes of the movie the most. The respectable critics thought it didn't get good until he started slapping Madonna around left and right. I actually thought it progressively lost steam throughout. Then again, I'm predisposed to enjoy damning portraits of rich jerks and women downing pills and chugging glasses of liquor. Elizabeth Banks has a tiny role as a bimbo.

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Todd Haynes:

Safe (1995) - 5
Some people just worship this film. I will admit that I didn't get it. At all. I might appreciate the idea... if I could figure out what the hell it is. It's the "story" of a woman who slowly becomes physically paralyzed by her freak ultra-sensitivity to chemicals. Chemicals in everything- household products, pesticides, car exhaust, the material used to make her furniture. Everything. So, she can't even live in her house anymore. 2 hours into the movie (or what feels like that long), she's shipped off to a weird culty farm / camp for other chemically sensitive folk. There... she talks a lot. And everyone else talk a lot. Does that sound boring to you? Well, it's not. That is; compared to the previous hour and a half of her walking around heaving and convulsing in various places, while her and her husband have the same conversation over and over again about her having a problem but how bad is it? What can they do? I don't even get what kind of a movie is this. It's not a thriller. Because the music and camerawork are incredibly restrained. It's not a comedy. Because there are no jokes. From what I've heard, the directors previous shorts were mostly horror, and he also co-wrote 1997's Office Killer. So, this could be an experiment to try and create a new breed of horror... But who would watch it? The best quality (though the acting is superb) to it are the truly strange scenes of Julianne Moore hanging out with her friends. This takes place in the 80's and everyone is dressed in upper-middle class kinda-rich women's clothes and go to the gym and have big curly hair and go to Birthday parties in suits with their nails looking long and manicured and fancy purses. Not exactly dressed for the occasion. Social satire? If it is, it has no bite. As a horror film, it is way too slow for the build-up to register as tension. The whole thing is build-up. There's no pay-off. No release.

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Mary Harron:

American Psycho (2000) - 8
It's so good at getting inside the head of the character, that the genre of the actual film changes again and again. The audio commentaries make mention of Tom Cruise and the character modeling his lifestyle after magazines and movies, etc. I imagine most people's problem with the movie is the shifting genres. But try to stay with it, because I think it's quite an impressive film. It handles the crap inside his head by seeking out similiar quaities in the rest of the movie's characters who are playing his friends and social contacts. Also, this might be the first film showing the 80's culture that actually points the finger directly at Reagen. You can sort of see how the killer gets to be the way he is. He says he "wants to fit in." And he cares a lot about impressing others. It's an ice-cold study of a character, but it's also incredibly absurd and funny. So, the film can't be taken seriously as sexist or homophobic. The 8 naturally comes from: is this all just superficial and an excuse to show bizarre sex and murder scenes, or is it truly skewering superficial qualities in others. Sometimes it's not smooth enough. But the cast make it work beautifully, if there are any flaws in editing, pacing, dialogue- etc. Especially Samantha Mathis as the always inebriated woman he's having an affair with (while he creates fantasies with the detective character where his arch rival is "a closet homosexual" and later, he's banging prostitutes in his ultra-white apartment with stainless steel kitchen) and Justin Theroux as his best friend. Another reminder of when the name Reese Witherspoon used to mean something.

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Terry Zwigoff:

Ghost World (2001) - 10
I don't know how deeply it cuts, but this is the most entertaining and yet pretty damn caustic social commentary I've ever seen. Even though it's an adaptation of an underground comic book, it functions beautifully as a criticism (as Zwigoff said in an interview once) of the "decline of western civilization." The art class scenes alone speak volumes. It's about how commercialization and the people who buy into it have sucked all the meaning out of everything. Empty fads. Cultural whitewashing. Political correctness used as a way to disassociate an organization from something people could find offensive- rather than out of concern for hurt feelings. Every scene is a brilliant commentary on something current and absurd in American culture. And the film doesn't idealize the past either. Which you have to wonder as scenes like the Wowsville diner are set up, where the managers recreate the look of a retro diner but play modern music at the table wall-jukeboxes. Enid says to Seymour, "are you saying things were better back then even though there was stuff like this?" (Racism.) He answers back, "I don't know, it's complicated. People still hate each other but they know how to hide it better." Every time I so much as think of it, I realize something brilliant that I might not have considered. It's one of the most fascinating films I've ever watched. If I went into it deeper, I'd be here for hours.

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Ridley Scott:

Hannibal (2001) - 5
The original was a magnificently dark gothic horror film and a hard-hitting, emotionally powerful detective story... This sequel is a gory slasher film trying to be half of what the first film was. And so, it is. The acting is good, even if a serious film lover just chuckles, groans, or sneers at this. And, the real reason to see this film- the... um... brain scene. That's all I'll say. Actually worth sitting through the film for. The extra story? We don't need it. The extra gore? Fun. (At least it was for me, and remember- this was refreshing coming after years of drek like The Blair Witch Project, its' sequel, and about a dozen fairly uneventful Hollywood ghost flix. We didn't have all the Saw's and French rape / kidnap-horror crap at the time.)

Gladiator (2000) - 3
I care not to rehash the experience. "Overrated" doesn't quite explain it, but that's all you're getting.

Thelma & Louise (1991) - 7
It's been a long time. Too long to comment.

Alien (1979) - 8
I thought this was boring as a kid. But now, I think it's fantastic. It's a very good movie where the characters are very tired and realistic even though this was the Star Wars time and everyone thought lazer swordfights and little creatures running around and spaceships in Hollywood films were cool. The tired, realistic thing is a quality I admire when it's unique and done extraordinarily well. One thing's for sure, this is done very adult for that time when studios would only put this kind of money into a Jaws or Superman or again, Star Wars or Trek film for mass audiences and families. This was R-rated. Which they just didn't do back then. Even Soylent Green, Omega Man, The Stepford Wives, and Westworld were all PG! Whether it's big-budget or a concept that includes work with robots and machines: Sci-fi was PG, that's all there was to it. So, the characters here finally expressed themselves like adults. No ties or bans on language, set design, behaviors, etc. And if I watched these movies, I would find a more sophisticated film here. And I do. And this is good horror. Especially when they take the time to establish a relationship like Ripley's and... Ash's. Obviously, that's the one I hope most people remember. Did anyone remember to chart it over the course of the film? The key to a good conflict like this is that it has points of evolution, although here it's changed by the Dallas character instead of either of them. The part where the guy's head came off... Of course the point was that he was never a member of their team and was always working against them. All along- he had the attitude the Company did: that the crew was expendable. Point is that it meant a lot to the characters and it's only a problem if you don't believe the characters are realistic (depending on the level of human drama in the film- which is considerable since it's about a survival situation and the amount of doom from the threat an unkillable alien in their living space poses) or just didn't like them in the first place. Everyone on the film describes it as: blue collar workers in space. And the Company and Science Division here represent The Elite. 70's films, horror included, didn't really trust science all that much- from what I gather. And as far as the FX go, I didn't notice any zippers. So I'm glad for that. The 70's was a great and rare time for survival-themed horror films.

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John Carpenter:

Masters of Horror: Pro-Life (2006) - 2
An absolute wreck in every sense of the word. It's agonizingly bad in every respect but the acting from the better-known cast members (namely Ron Perlman and Royal Pains' Mark Feuerstein). Against expectations, it's politically non-involved (shocking for Masters of Horror: a daringly left-leaning, highly political show). It's basically a pathetic ploy for Carpenter to recapture his Assault on Precinct 13 glory-days, with a little bit of The Thing mixed in and he still can't get a grip on that Night of the Living Dead stuff he's trying to tap into. Bad effects, bad story, bad characters, bad music score, and nothing but action and computer FX to get a rise out of the audience. Carpenter's greatest failure. Which, coming off the heels of Cigarette Burns, is just tragic.

Masters of Horror: Cigarette Burns (2005) - 7
Carpenter's redemption in the horror genre! He sure talked this up in interviews and couldn't have said it better- it's dialogue oriented. The first time since The Fog where his trademark mood-over-action style has been reapplied to one of his films. The sole flaw (and it's a big one) is that this turns out to be a form of buildup and lets go at the end in a huge creative... well, fart. Carpenter just can't resist showing us what we're not supposed to see. The story is about a film that drives people so insane that they end up mutilating themselves and killing each other. That's a lot of power. So- do you think we should see scenes from that film, powerful enough to psychologically turn people into killers? No. It's best left to our imaginations because anything we see is going to be a letdown. There's nothing on Earth Carpenter could have filmed that would make us believe it had that power. So, what does Carpenter do? He shows us scenes from the movie! And so now we have to assume that piece of grade-school garbage with music video finesse is the most dangerous piece of filmmaking committed to celluloid. Sure... a half-naked woman with a lesbian haircut running her fingers up and down a stone wall while grunting (ala- Exorcism of Emily Rose) into the camera and little children throwing rocks at a bald toothpaste-green man with wings is enough to drive audience members into a murderous frenzy rather than just walking out and demanding their money back. And the dialogue just bends over backwards talking about how dangerous this film was. Every scene talks about how you can't see it or you'll die. But, before those last 8-9 minutes, this a surprisingly gripping and damn intelligent, sophisticated, and provocative piece of brain-horror. Brought to life with fine acting (especially from the Canadian adult cast, which often was a hindrance for this series), excellent dialogue, and a terrific music score from Carpenter's son, Cody. Not to mention a lapdance scene that I won't be forgetting any time soon. Highest recommendation from me.

In the Mouth of Madness (1994) - 5
Well, the critics pretty much tore this to shreds with one comment: "Wes Craven's New Nightmare was better." Boy, they weren't just whistling "Dixie." This is actually like the prequel to Cigarette Burns. Instead of a movie that drives you crazy and makes you kill other people, it's a book. And with that, we're into Stephen King ("Sutter Kane," the name and the public perception) meets H.P. Lovecraft (transformations, human monsters, crossing dimensions, is-it-real or-a-dream?). I hate Lovecraft adaptations, typically (one exception: Stuart Gordon's From Beyond). And as we all know, King adaptations impress 1 out of 15 times, at best. This is just boring. The characters, the imagery, the music. The acting is okay to good and there's one scene that I thought was fantastic (the moment where the road disappears). Other than that, I can't tell you how boring this is. It's even less exciting than that Demi Moore movie where she's pregnant in the bathtub- The Seventh Seal. Back in the 80's, everyone was saying that was the most boring horror movie ever made. That film and this share an unfortunate Jürgen Prochnow connection. Why didn't Carpenter just get Julian Sands, like everyone else does? Watch Warlock instead. A lot more exciting! Or From Beyond. Or Cigarette Burns. Or Videodrome. Or Wes Craven's New Nightmare. Or Tenebre (book that inspires readers to kill).

Body Bags (1993) - 8 (explained below)
I can only judge the first part (it's an anthology film, with 3 separate sections). Entitled, "The Gas Station." Which Carpenter directed. And it's fantastic. Carpenter himself stars as a gross full-sized CryptKeeper clone, grandpa from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre meets Tom Petty's undertaker in the "Last Dance with Mary Jane" music video meets Rob Zombie's Dr. Satan. This might just mark the first and only film Carpenter framed specially for fullscreen since Elvis in the 70's. It's very basic and not very ambitious, but it's classic and good suspense. Great cameos- Wes Craven, An American Werewolf in London's David Naughton, Arachnophobia's Peter Jason, what looks like Sam Raimi as a corpse (he also appears in a photograph), and The Fog's Buck Flower (he had larger parts in Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama, 976-Evil II, and Wishmaster - all of which I've seen).

They Live (1988) - 5
All the Carpenter action films I've ever seen are remarkably shallow and unsatisfying disasters. This one might have the emptiest head of the bunch. I'm not sure if that's coming from the acting, the fact that this thing is so over-the-top that it's laughable (the back alley police brutality sequence being an ideal example, as is the unbelievably stupid 10 minute street brawling scene which itself has multiple "oh it's over... NOW" endings), or that the villains don't actually do anything on camera... Let's go with: a combination of the three. Roddy Piper is a powerful, legendary stud for sure (and you'd better believe the camera loves him) but that doesn't make him an actor. From my one experience with the film, he lacked a lot. Not the least of which being the ability to be a victim. And his tormentors? Well, this is a very political film, but again, the villains don't do anything. I made sure to adjust my readings to pick up any subtle vibes of Carpenter trying to say the real evil was that the movie's world was so Stepford, that all independent thought had been eliminated. That's a tiny running current of apathy. But who is your cinematic geiger counter? A professional wrestler... Enough said, I trust. Furthermore, here's how obvious the movie is: Piper picks a morally-suspicious civilian to try and convert to his very, VERY small team of freedom fighters and help him expose the alien government takeover. Throughout the film, you are meant to not know where her loyalties lie. But you'll be able to see the answer coming from the moment you meet her, because the actress Carpenter chose was Meg Foster. If the name doesn't bring you a mental picture, here's what she looks like: http://images.tvrage.com/people/9/25959.jpg . Now, tell me... would you trust someone with those eyes? If she had been in one of the Howling movies, they wouldn't have needed to put contacts in.

Prince of Darkness (1987) - 4.5
The first 10 minutes is one of Carpenter's all-time great mood setters. Ever. Appropriate for a movie about a scientific team examining the chemical composition of Satanic evil, and environmental patterns suggesting the biblical end of the world. The next 85 minutes that follows it? A wildly uneven freakshow of a runaway bus with no one in the driver's seat. Think of it this way: it's Nightmare on Elm Street with no Freddy Krueger, and everyone's awake. The acting is blah and none of the characters are the slightest bit interesting. Random, impossibly stupid images rule the show and nothing is particularly connected. The "Prince of Darkness" is obviously Satan, only he attacks people through zombie-like possession (as in- they walk around like robots and don't speak), making one possessed person spit green juice-smile into another person's mouth and they become possessed. His mission on Earth? Well, there's the spitting- I mentioned that. Alice Cooper kills a guy with a bicycle. Another guy turns into a pile of bugs. There's an evil mirror-pool that people can get sucked into. Some girl gets impregnated and bloats up to very large size. And there's some weird psychic static thing going on on television. That's it, folks. I hope you enjoyed Mr. Carpenter's Wild Ride. Only the beautiful widescreen shots make this the least bit watchable.

Starman (1984) - 9
It's kind of a long epic with a lot of Carpenter action extras just to tell this very deep and touching dramatic story about a woman who falls in love with an alien, even during the scenes dealing with the army. But few movies make me cry. This one never fails to. A lot of the credit goes to the music. Karen Allen deserves the rest of it (this is the best moment in her career- you will feel for her), since Jeff Bridges has to act like he doesn't understand anything that's going on. He can say he understands and speak from an enlightened point of view but physically, he can't register it on his face because that would break the reality. So, his performance is almost set to seem dopey. But, this is no Forrest Gump fluke- you'll get used to him quickly enough. Nor will any preconceived notions of alien films hold back this film from really cracking you in two. The ending is... outside of a Disney film, I can't think of anything more beautiful in a very downbeat way. It's sort of a happy ending, but it's heart-breaking too. In fact, I can't think of a Spielberg scene this good. I suppose it's another try at The Day the Earth Stood Still in the very war-torn 1980's. But with a much more vulnerable, peace-loving hero. Either way, the 'live and let live' message is executed beautifully (the deer scene is an excellent example). A stunningly ethereal and picturesque road trip movie with so much heart, it's bursting at the seems.

Christine (1983) - 3
This has been an extraordinarily hard movie for me to pinpoint where my rage comes from. I hate this film with a passion. We get along (as Florence on The Jeffersons put it) like a knife and fork. It could be any number of things. Like how uniformly stupid and rigid the female characters are portrayed (Christine Belford is Arnie's extremely strict and unpleasent mother, Kelly Preston plays a brainless, adoring doormat, and Alexandra Paul a lame, stuck-up bitch). Or the tacky crude dialogue (though, since this is 7 years at least before Home Alone, it's great to see someone other than me saw and liked Deranged- that film's killer makes an equally creepy appearence here as the old man who gives Arnie the car) and several pointlessly dumb scenes (with accompanying shots that nobody wants to see- crotch closeups, etc). The ridiculous relationship the nerdy guy has with his parents. Did they hire the school bullies from a Grease rejects' bin somewhere, along with where they found the costumes for all the characters? This movie just plain sucks. Not to mention that a car killing people is not scary. I give it a 3 because the best friend character is decent, as are the two main male actors' performances. And the ending is fantastic. I don't know where Carpenter suddenly found the suspense, but it's quite a little ride. If only the rest of the film had been this exciting. See Carrie instead.

The Thing (1982) - 5
When John Carpenter was doing horror films, he was the undisputed master of atmosphere. Nobody was able to put you into an environment like he could. You can feel everything. Late-day setting sunlight glaring through a car windshield as someone drove, a whipping wind blowing against someone's skin as they walked into it, and the various spine-tinglers here. However, this is really when Carpenter's horror career kind-of died. After 2 classic, pure horror films, he started mixing genres. Until we got to this complete mess. Part action, part science fiction, maybe even a little western (Kurt Russell's hat and drinking habit), and horror. Horror gets the shortest part of the stick here and that's a shame. Because the scenes in the last 25 minutes (hell- including the world-famous blood-test scene) are some of Carpenter's most beautiful and haunting. Of his whole career. The biggest problem here is that there are too many men sharing a space that proves to be much too small- even though Carpenter's camera and Ennio Morricone's score are milking the royal piss out of the various mazes of caves and cabins throughout. So many guys, and almost no personality between the lot of them, means they're going to argue. And argue. And argue. And argue. And argue. And argue some more. Guess what? That loses whatever charm it had within the first 1/4th of the flick. So many bodies... and a slimy monster offing them one-by-one kinda means the guys are mostly there to be victims rather than believable members of an Antarctic research team. And... I haven't even gotten to the transformation scenes. Rob Bottin's makeup FX have been lauded and worshipped the world-round. Most horror fans love what he did. I'm not one of them. Other than the fact that the bursts of transformations the monster goes through are craftsman showpieces rather than actually terrifying moments of horror and that it makes the characters stand around like idiots watching the event rather than blow-torching the frickin' thing... you have to ask what it's actually doing. What is it actually transforming into? Yeah, you and me. People and animals. I got that part. But what do we actually see? One blob turns into another blob turns into another... That's it. Seriously, that's it. You'd be surprised. It's a blob with some eyes here and teeth there and some of it looks like a plant, some of it is purple veins, and at one point it grows red tentacles out of what looks like an asshole. The Poopy Blob. That's what this thing is. How this ever got to be one of the most psychotically revered man's-man movies, I'll never know. The argument scenes are absurd and lack skill, if you ask me. Wilford Brimley is a JOKE here! At one point, he flies around going "I KIUW YOU!" just like Yosemite Sam. Every guy is playing a lame stereotype (rambling potheaded, small-minded black man, quiet / serial-killery loner, short tempered old guy who complains, skiddish dorky guy, smooth-talking black guy on rollerskates, tough drinking guy, even-tempered doctor). And there's a "bad news" computer scene so damn laughable, it borders on offensive. Or just embarrassing. Just watch Alien, Phantasm, or Night of the Living Dead instead- all are far superior sci-fi horror hybrids and Night's a much better social commentary. If this had minimized the talking scenes (the dialogue is really not that good) in favor of shooting facial expressions (when the guys actually shut up, you realize just how much a face can say without the mouth spitting) and focused less on actions and more on reactions, this could have been scary. Best compliment I can give it? It's quite a bit better than George Romero's very similiar everyone-trapped-in-an-underground-bunker horror flick Day of the Dead.

The Fog (1980) - 8
John Carpenter's best films accomplished a lot with a little. So, he's best with smaller budgets and intimate working conditions. Characters you can't pad up with action scenes and other over-the-top elements. Though he still makes this feel too huge, that overall is to The Fog's benefit. Since it's about a fog that creeps in and just gets closer... and closer... At least until the zombies show up. What can I say about that- it's a ghost film and zombie film hybrid. Well, here's what I say: hallelujah! Finally, a ghost film worth seeing. Right? As a matter of fact, I think this beats The Shining and Poltergeist, easy. No sap anywhere. No crackpot left and right turns into this side-step or that one. Just a direct line from the past where the fog originated into the present where the fog lands. And from inside the fog are the zombies, who are avenging spirits. Simple. And effective. Especially when combined with this music (one of the 13 best horror music scores EVER), Carpenter's 2.35:1 camerawork (breathtaking shots and scenery throughout), and just a few great performances- all that's needed. Especially Adrienne Barbeau (also great in Swamp Thing and Creepshow) as the radio DJ, Tom Atkins (the mustache bear-daddy king of 80's horror, also excellent in Halloween III: Season of the Witch, Creepshow, and okay in Night of the Creeps) as the character who I believe was named after the actor who played Michael Myers in the original Halloween, Nancy Kyes - finally playing a character where her ultra-dry delivery is natural, John Houseman as the bonfire storyteller, and Jamie Lee Curtis playing a character much more like her true gabby and fun-loving self than the wishy-washy wallflower Laurie Strode in Halloween. Janet Leigh's okay (and has almost no scenes with her daughter). Highest recommendation.

Halloween (1978) - 9
If you've seen it, you know how good it is. Any kind of comment I could write would be no-brainer. The reason it gets a 9 is because the acting on the whole is passable at best. P.J. Soles as the bimbo-ish Linda does the best job of the young cast. The kids are horrible. Jamie Lee Curtis is okay in certain moments but as she stated in interviews, she just wasn't this character. Her best moments are (one example:) when she looks at the trick or treaters and confidently, with a knowing smirky-smile, says "well, kiddo, I thought you outgrew superstition." This may be the best movie she ever did but she gave better performances in lesser films (yes, even the painfully dated 80's workout film with John Travolta- Perfect). Anyway, not important. Carpenter himself said he thought the dialogue for the teenage characters wasn't great. But Soles and Nancy Kyes make it work sometimes. Apart from that, this is an extraordinary achievement. And a great lowkey, laidback horror film for the 70's considering how graphic things were starting to get (thanks to Romero, Lucio Fulci, and David Cronenberg). Compared to most of the films coming out, this was an old-fashioned spookshow film. With jumps and mood running the whole show, and only hints of a barbaric serial killer type running around.

Er... Laz, do you remember when you said responders to this thread could add "a line or two" to explain their rating? Granted, I've made some small paragraphs ocasionally, but I didn't do an essay on every movie!

Seriously, though, even if I don't always agree with you, I admire your way of writing and explaining yourself. Although I get a bit tired of your 'new millennium criticism'. It's unfair, ultimately hollow criticism and you paint with a *very* broad brush. For instance, if you would put that prejudice aside, I'm sure you, as a fan of horror films, would like last year's Black Swan.

I'd be willing to push aside some of my top Queued Netflix discs to make room for it, but it's taking too long to come out. It's still not available yet. Not even On-Demand that I know-of and it should be. Maybe I'll check my TV service inside. They have a lot of HBO type stuff On-Demand, if it's come out on TV yet. Though after just the trailer, I'm skeptical as all getout. Not to mention, nobody's ever going to question or touch Suspiria as lord of all ballet-themed horror films (actually, there's only one more I can think of - The Howling III: The Marsupials).

My new-millennium criticism is usually reserved for horror films. I haven't been interested in family films since the 90's and even then, I didn't pay much attention to the new films coming out. It probably started with Free Willy, which I can't hate anymore because it's been so long and nobody talks about it anymore. There's one that stood the test of time- not. I missed out on a lot. Ferngully? Didn't see it. Fly Away Home, Harriet the Spy, The Baby-Sitters Club, Black Beauty, Babe 2, The Santa Clause sequels, Home Alone 3 & 4, Honey I - - the Kids 3, Troll in Central Park, Anastacia, Paulie- missed 'em all. It was that dang videogame-movie trend that did, I tell ya! Street Fighter, Mortal Kombat, Jumanji. Oh, wait, that last one was a board game. Oh well- maybe it wasn't that. Maybe it was the TV shows turned into movies; SNL skits, Brady Bunch, Addams Family. Y'know, slightly raunchier material than a true family film would do. ("My plastic surgeon doesn't want me doing any activity where balls fly at my nose." "Well, there goes your social life.") Not that I loved either of these groups of films on the whole. This is when I started getting interested in specialty genres.

Would it be less broad for me to say that I think newer movies cater too much to technology, better sound systems - so let's crank everything up and now films have to produce louder soundtracks with more artificial sounds in more channels for 6-and-7. surround speakers, and the films need more action so let's say: fuck characterization every now and then... That's only one example. Another is that cinematic acting has disappeared. Everyone is television-trained. HURRY UP! Everyone rushes through their performances just to get to the moment the audience reacts to. And the buttons these movies feel compelled to press are not deeply buried anymore. The only work filmmakers do anymore is on the writing which they think is so clever, nobody pays attention to the performances when they make movies. There is too much community filmmaking nowadays. Filmmakers watch too many new movies. Ideas are too compromised- how do we make the movies people want to see and never give them any scenes they don't like. When filmmakers think like that- they're practically letting idiots make the movies for themselves. And we are then stuck with the movies the dumber masses have chosen because studios only want to make the movies they want to see. No original ideas. Unless its' outfitted with a gimmick that's already been proven to work (Paranormal Activity). Nobody even tries. Everywhere I turn in movies, everything's the same. The actors, characters, the plots, the details, the stories. I can't tell them apart.

My take on it is that - the personal approach with films by directors which they used to take is not encouraged by studios and people trying to make money in the business anymore. Not unless you have a reputation for making money. Maybe Spielberg and Michael Bay can do whatever they want to. But any other filmmaker have to concentrate equally on checking what they're doing step-by-step with somebody else. Too many cooks in every kitchen. And it's funny- though people are more jaded than ever, they're also less intelligent. They want to believe what they're watching is realistic, just because it looks dirty or the actors seem tougher. And except for checking around on the internet for information on whether what they just saw could really happen- they don't care about accuracy. Things are so screwed up now, even the audiences are pretentious!! What the fuck do they care about realism when cinema was invented as a form of escapism? Look at this forum, for God's sake. We have frickin' KIDS acting as BUSINESS ANALYSTS over on the Princess and the Frog, Tangled, and Gnomeo & Juliet discussions!! Questioning about whether adding gay characters, Lady Gaga songs, and more mature subject matter will hurt Disney financially! It makes sense for someone like me who's been around the block awhile to show an interest in this. But here, we have people like DVDJunkie (in his 60's or whatever) talking about this kind of thing next to 10 year olds! It's not every single person's job to decide the direction of movies. And yet, that's what happens anyway.

[Goliath]

Would it be less broad for me to say that I think newer movies cater too much to technology, better sound systems - so let's crank everything up and now films have to produce louder soundtracks with more artificial sounds in more channels for 6-and-7. surround speakers, and the films need more action so let's say: fuck characterization every now and then... That's only one example. Another is that cinematic acting has disappeared. Everyone is television-trained. HURRY UP! Everyone rushes through their performances just to get to the moment the audience reacts to. And the buttons these movies feel compelled to press are not deeply buried anymore. The only work filmmakers do anymore is on the writing which they think is so clever, nobody pays attention to the performances when they make movies.

Hey, there's that broad brush again! Everybody has his own tastes, so obviously I can't convince you to like more modern movies, nor do I have the desire to do so. If you wanna hate them, that's fine by me. But I wish you would actually give good reasons for hating them, or wouldn't give any at all. If you would just say: "they're not my cup of coffee", there would be no point arguing that, and I would leave it at that. But you make statements about modern cinema as if they were easily verifiable facts, but the opposite of what you're saying is true. I'm not saying the kind of movies you describe don't exist. Because they do. And I'm not arguing that Hollywood cranks out a lot of bad and redundant stuff --like all the ridiculous sequels or revitalizing franchises from the 1980's. I'm not challenging that, but... that's simply not all there is. And to say "cinematic acting has disappeared" is just plainly not true. It's a rather bizarre statement. The kind of judgements you're making, I would expect them from my grandma, who believes 'everything used to be better in my days'. No offense, of course, but still... that's gotta tell you something!

[Avaitor]

In a rush and have little time, so I'm speeding this up

Akira Kurosawa:

Ran (1985)- 10 Best Shakespeare adaptation I've ever seen
Kagemusha (1980)- Saw about 45 minutes to an hour of it, liked what I saw, but had to do other things. I'll try to watch it on Netflix while it's still available for instant queue.
Yojimbo (1961)- 9 Also great
Seven Samurai (1954)- 10 Just fucking incredible
Ikiru (1952)- 10 Equally classic
Rashomon (1950)- 9 Classic

Sergio Leone:

Once Upon a Time in America (1984)- 8 Overlong, but has plenty of good
Once Upon a Time in the West (1968)- 9 Great. Henry Fonda at his best.
The Good, the Bad and the Ugly (1966)- 10 One of the best things ever
For a Few Dollars More (1965)- 8.5 Also classic, but not quite as good as the rest of the Dollars
A Fistful of Dollars (1964)- 9 Classic Eastwood/Leone

Ridley Scott:

American Gangster (2007)- Watched a few minutes of it with my family, then Death Note was on and I left. Didn't really interest me.
Thelma & Louise (1991)- Seen parts of it, but don't think I've watched this in full
Blade Runner (1982)- 9 Also damn fine
Alien (1979)- 9 Damn fine sci-fi flick, although I prefer Cameron's sequel
The Duellists (1977)- On my Netflix queue

Michael Mann:

Public Enemies (2009)- 6.5 Johnny Depp was great, but Christan Bale killed it all by himself. Talk about talent.
Heat (1995)- 8.5 Great performances by Pacino and De Niro that also work as a solid character study

John Carpenter:

The Thing (1982)- 9 Fairs better for me than Halloween
Halloween (1978)- 7 Overrated

[Lazario]

The Directors:


Federico Fellini:

La voce della luna / The Voice of the Moon (1990)
Fellini's Intervista (1987)
Ginger and Fred (1986)
And the Ship Sails On (1983)
City of Women (1980)
Orchestra Rehearsal (1978)
Fellini's Casanova (1976)
Amarcord (1973)
Fellini's Roma (1972)
The Clowns (1970)
Satyricon (1969)
Juliet of the Spirits (1965)
8½ (1963)
La Dolce Vita (1960)
Nights of Cabiria (1957)
The Swindle (1955)
La Strada (1954)
I Vitelloni (1953)
The White Sheik (1952)
Variety Lights (1950)

-


Ingmar Bergman:

Saraband (2003)
The Image Makers (2000)
In the Presence of a Clown (1997)
The Last Gasp (1995)
Backanterna (1993)
Madame de Sade (1992)
De två saliga (1986)
Dom Juan (1985)
After the Rehearsal (1984)
Hustruskolan (1983)
Fanny and Alexander (1982)
Faro Document 1979 (1980)
From the Life of the Marionettes (1980)
Autumn Sonata (1978)
The Serpent's Egg (1977)
Face to Face (1976)
The Misanthrope (1974)
Scenes from a Marriage (1973)
Cries and Whispers (1972)
The Touch (1971)
Faro Document 1969 (1970)
The Passion of Anna (1969)
The Rite (1969)
Shame (1968)
Hour of the Wolf (1968)
Persona (1966)
Don Juan (1965)
All These Women (1964)
The Silence (1963)
A Dream Play (1963)
Winter Light (1963)
Through a Glass Darkly (1961)
The Devil's Eye (1960)
The Virgin Spring (1960)
Storm Weather (1960)
The Magician (1958)
Rabies (1958)
Brink of Life (1958
The Venetian (1958)
Wild Strawberries (1957)
Mr. Sleeman Is Coming (1957)
The Seventh Seal (1957)
Smiles of a Summer Night (1955)
Dreams (1955)
A Lesson in Love (1954)
Sawdust and Tinsel (1953)
Monika (1953)
Secrets of Women (1952)
Summer Interlude (1951)
This Can't Happen Here (1950)
To Joy (1950)
Thirst (1949)
Prison (1949)
Port of Call (1948)
Music in Darkness (1948)
Frustration (1947)
It Rains on Our Love (1946)
Crisis (1946)

-

<img src="http://img.yaboon.com/person/frame/33592/3.jpg" width="335" height="250" border="0">
François Truffaut:

Confidentially Yours (1983)
The Woman Next Door (1981)
The Last Metro (1980)
Love on the Run (1979)
The Green Room (1978)
The Man Who Loved Women (1977)
Small Change (1976)
The Story of Adele H (1975)
Day for Night (1973)
Une belle fille comme moi / A Gorgeous Girl Like Me(1972)
Les deux Anglaises et le continent / Two English Girls (1971)
Bed & Board (1970)
The Wild Child (1970)
Mississippi Mermaid (1969)
Stolen Kisses (1968)
The Bride Wore Black (1968)
Fahrenheit 451 (1966)
The Soft Skin (1964)
Jules and Jim (1962)
The Army Game (1960)
Shoot the Piano Player (1960)
The 400 Blows (1959)

-


Jean Cocteau:

Testament of Orpheus (1960)
8 X 8: A Chess Sonata in 8 Movements (1957)
Orpheus (1950)
Coriolan (1950)
Les Parents Terribles (1948)
L'aigle à Deux Têtes (1948)
Beauty and the Beast (1946)
The Blood of a Poet (1930)

-


Jean-Luc Godard:

Socialism (2010)
Vrai faux passeport (2006)
Notre musique (2004)
Moments choisis des histoire(s) du cinéma (2004)
In Praise of Love (2001)
The Old Place (2000)
For Ever Mozart (1996)
2 x 50 Years of French Cinema (1995)
JLG/JLG / Self-Portrait in December (1994)
Les enfants jouent à la Russie / The Kids Play Russian (1993)
Germany Year 90 Nine Zero (1991)
Keep Your Right Up (1987)
King Lear (1987)
Soft and Hard (1986)
Détective (1985)
Hail Mary (1985)
First Name: Carmen (1983)
Godard's Passion (1982)
Every Man for Himself (1980)
Comment ça va? (1978)
Here and Elsewhere (1976)
Numéro Deux / Number Two (1975)
Letter to Jane: An Investigation About a Still (1972)
Tout Va Bien (1972)
1 P.M. (1972)
See You at Mao (1970)
Joy of Learning (1969)
Sympathy for the Devil (1968)
Un film comme les autres / A Film Like Any Other (1968)
Week End (1967)
La Chinoise (1967)
The Oldest Profession (1967)
2 or 3 Things I Know About Her (1967)
Made in U.S.A (1966)
Masculin Féminin (1966)
Pierrot le Fou (1965)
Alphaville (1965)
Une Femme Mariée / A Married Woman (1964)
Band of Outsiders (1964)
Contempt (1963)
The Carabineers (1963)
Le Petit Soldat (1963)
Vivre Sa Vie (1962)
A Woman is a Woman (1961)
Breathless (1960)

-


Luis Buñuel:

That Obscure Object of Desire (1977)
The Phantom of Liberty (1974)
The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie (1972
Tristana (1970)
The Milky Way (1969)
Belle de Jour (1967)
Diary of a Chambermaid (1964)
The Exterminating Angel (1962)
Viridiana (1961)
The Young One (1960)
La fièvre monte à El Pao (1959)
Nazarin (1959)
Death in the Garden (1956)
That Is the Dawn (1956)
The River and Death (1955)
The Criminal Life of Archibaldo de la Cruz (1955)
Robinson Crusoe (1954)
Wuthering Heights (1954)
Illusion Travels by Streetcar (1954)
El (1953)
The Brute (1953)
A Woman Without Love (1952)
Mexican Bus Ride (1952)
Daughter of Deceit (1951)
Susana (1951)
The Young and the Damned (1950)
The Great Madcap (1949)
Gran Casino (1947)
¡Centinela, alerta! / Guard! Alert! (1937)
¿Quién me quiere a mí? / Who Loves Me? (1936)
L'Age d'Or / The Golden Age (1930)
Un Chien Andalou / An Andalusian Dog (1929)

[jpanimation]

Federico Fellini:

8½ (1963) -
I've defiantely heard of it but just haven't gotten around to seeing it.

Ingmar Bergman:

The Seventh Seal (1957) - 6.5
It was alright, but the ending was stupid. Death playing chess was also weird. Since this was supposed to be one of Bergman's best films and I didn't really care for it, I haven't really had a burning desire to check out anymore films from his catalogue.

François Truffaut:

Jules and Jim (1962) - 6
I really didn't care for this movie. Overrated for sure.

The 400 Blows (1959) - 8
Great movie but I always felt the ending cut off when their was more to tell. Years later I found out he made many sequels continuing from where the original left off. I'll have to check them out.

Jean Cocteau:

Beauty and the Beast (1946) - 6
My full review here. Suffice to say, as messy as Disney's version is, it also fixed a lot of the problems inherent in the original story.

Jean-Luc Godard:

I've got nothing.

Luis Buñuel:

I've got nothing.

[Avaitor]

Federico Fellini:

Amarcord (1973)- Been wanting to watch on instant queue for a while. I'll try to before long
8½ (1963)- 10 Fairs much better for me. A great film, but try to stay away from the musical adaptation
La Dolce Vita (1960)- 8 Dragged out, but has enough good in it to make the film worth sitting through. Recommended, if a bit overrated
Nights of Cabiria (1957)- Sundance airs it a bit, but I always forget to record. I'll try to next time

Ingmar Bergman:

Fanny and Alexander (1982)- Will try to watch on instant queue before it's too late
Persona (1966)- Will try to watch on instant queue before it's too late
Wild Strawberries (1957)- 9.5 About the same as Seventh Seal, but doesn't hold up as strongly for me. Still great, though
The Seventh Seal (1957)- 10 Powerful, heartbreaking, beautiful. Love it

A bunch more I want to see, though.

On another note, I've seen a couple of movies listed here since my first scores.

David Lynch- The Elephant Man- 8.5 Good film on all parts. Especially liked the cinematography
Robert Wise- The Day the Earth Stood Still- 9 A great sci-fi flick from the 50's. Plays like a feature film version of Twilight Zone, which is part of it's appeal for me
Wes Anderson- The Royal Tenenbaums- 7.5 Solid, but felt like it wanted to be weird for the sake of being weird to me in certain parts. The acting was mostly good throughout, the writing was decent, and the soundtrack was great, so I can't fault it too much

[Lazario]

The last list came up a bit dry. So, here are some more.



The Directors:


Michelangelo Antonioni :

Beyond the Clouds (1995)
Identification of a Woman (1982)
Il mistero di Oberwald / The Mystery of Oberwald (1981)
The Passenger (1975)
Chung Kuo - Cina / China (1972)
Zabriskie Point (1970)
Blow-Up (1966)
Red Desert (1964)
L'Eclisse (1962)
La notte / The Night (1961)
L'Avventura / The Adventure (1960)
Sheba and the Gladiator (1959)
Il Grido / The Cry (1957)
Le Amiche / The Girlfriends (1955)
I vinti / The Vanquished (1953)
The Lady Without Camelias (1953)
Story of a Love Affair (1950)

-


Otto Preminger:

The Human Factor (1979)
Rosebud (1975)
Such Good Friends (1971)
Tell Me That You Love Me, Junie Moon (1970)
Skidoo (1968)
Hurry Sundown (1967)
Bunny Lake is Missing (1965)
In Harm's Way (1965)
The Cardinal (1963)
Advise & Consent (1962)
Exodus (1960)
Anatomy of a Murder (1959)
Porgy and Bess (1959)
Bonjour Tristesse (1958)
Saint Joan (1957)
The Court-Martial of Billy Mitchell (1955)
The Man with the Golden Arm (1955)
Carmen Jones (1954)
River of No Return (1954)
Die Jungfrau auf dem Dach / The Girl on the Roof (1953)
The Moon is Blue (1953)
Angel Face (1952)
The 13th Letter (1951)
Where the Sidewalk Ends (1950)
Whirlpool (1949)
The Fan (1949)
That Lady in Ermine (1948)
Daisy Kenyon (1947)
Forever Amber (1947)
Centennial Summer (1946)
Fallen Angel (1945)
A Royal Scandal (1945)
Laura (1944)
In the Meantime, Darling (1944)
Margin for Error (1943)
Kidnapped (1938)
Danger: Love at Work (1937)
Under Your Spell (1936)
The Great Love (1931)

-


Pier Paolo Pasolini:

Salò, or the 120 Days of Sodom (1975)
Arabian Nights (1974)
The Canterbury Tales (1972)
The Decameron (1971)
Notes Towards an African Orestes (1970)
Medea (1969)
Pigpen (1969)
Teorema (1968)
Oedipus Rex (1967)
The Hawks and the Sparrows (1966)
Comizi d'Amore / Love Meetings (1965)
The Gospel According to St. Matthew (1964)
La Rabbia Part 1 (1963)
Mamma Roma (1962)
Accattone! (1961)

-

<img src="http://www.lashorasperdidas.com/wp-cont ... olucci.jpg" width="245" height="250" border="0">
Bernardo Bertolucci:

The Dreamers (2003)
Besieged (1998)
Stealing Beauty (1996)
Little Buddha (1993)
The Sheltering Sky (1990)
The Last Emperor (1987)
Tragedy of a Ridiculous Man (1981)
Luna (1979)
1900 (1976)
Last Tango in Paris (1972)
Strategia del ragno / The Spider's Stratagem (1970)
The Conformist (1970)
Partner (1968)
Before the Revolution (1964)
The Grim Reaper (1962)

-


Dario Argento:

Giallo (2009)
Mother of Tears (2007)
Masters of Horror: Pelts (2006)
Masters of Horror: Jenifer (2005)
Do You Like Hitchcock? (2005)
The Card Player (2004)
Sleepless (2001)
The Phantom of the Opera (1998)
The Stendhal Syndrome (1996)
Trauma (1993)
Two Evil Eyes (1990)
Opera (1987)
Phenomena (1984)
Tenebre (1982)
Inferno (1980)
Suspiria (1977)
Deep Red (1975)
The Five Days of Milan (1973)
Four Flies on Grey Velvet (1971)
The Cat o' Nine Tails (1970)
The Bird with the Crystal Plumage (1969)

-


Hayao Miyazaki (I included the shorts, but deleted the TV series- you can of course add these back if you'd like):

Mr. Dough and the Egg Princess (2010)
Ponyo (2008)
Mizugumo Monmon (2006)
Hoshi Wo Katta Hi (2006)
Yadosagashi (2006)
Howl's Moving Castle (2004)
Koro no dai-sanpo (2002)
Mei and the Kitten Bus (2002)
Kujira Tori (2001)
Spirited Away (2001)
Princess Mononoke (1997)
On Your Mark (1995)
Porco Rosso (1992)
Kiki's Delivery Service (1989)
My Neighbor Totoro (1988)
Castle in the Sky (1986)
Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind (1984)
Lupin the Third: The Castle of Cagliostro (1979)

[Avaitor]

Otto Preminger:

Laura (1944)- 8.5 Classic noir. Clifton Webb steals the show.

Hayao Miyazaki:

Ponyo (2008)- 6.5 Stunning hand-drawn animation, but a little too kiddy to engross me
Howl's Moving Castle (2004)- 6 Very redundant in terms of themes and characters explored by Miyazaki, and not a very good adaptation of the original book either. Not awful, but definitely one of his weaker films.
Spirited Away (2001)- 10 Masterpiece. Far better of an Alice in Wonderland film than Burton's or even Walt's.
Princess Mononoke (1997)- 7 Overrated, but even this has enough good to recommend
Porco Rosso (1992)- 6.5 Not a big fan, but I can see how it was such a personal film for Miyazaki. I'll try to rewatch it before the eventual sequel comes out
Kiki's Delivery Service (1989)- The only one of his films that I haven't seen. Weird too, since I remember Disney promoting this since I was a kid and it's his highest rated film on RT. Some day I'll sit down and watch this
My Neighbor Totoro (1988)- 10 Beautiful. Easily one of his best.
Castle in the Sky (1986)- 7 Overly familiar, and the dub did little for me. Maybe if I saw this earlier in my Miyazaki filmography scan or watched the subtitled version, I'd like it more, but I wasn't impressed.
Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind (1984)- 9 Great film, although the original manga is better. I wish I had the money to get the recent Blu-Ray rerelease, but I'm stripped for cash now
Lupin the Third: The Castle of Cagliostro (1979)- 8.5 Highly entertaining adventure flick, easily the best Lupin story I've seen

[PeterPanfan]

I haven't seen enough of each director's films to do a rate/review as comprehensive as I would like, but I just wanted to say that I love readin this thread!

[jpanimation]

Blade Runner (1982)-
I never finished it. I didn't even make it to the middle. I guess this is just not for me...

Actually, the Tears in the Rain speech at the very end of the movie was enough for me to bump up my rating to what it is. Without that, there wouldn't be much beyond the artistic look of the film to hold me in.

The last list came up a bit dry. So, here are some more.

lol You didn't even give Goliath a chance to comment, as I'm sure he's seen more from those directors then any of us.

Michelangelo Antonioni :

I've got nothing.

Otto Preminger:

In Harm's Way (1965) -
Watched the beginning of this - about 20 mins - and changed the channel, just wasn't interested. Like I mentioned before, John Wayne WWII shit just doesn't interest me.

Advise & Consent (1962) - 7.5
Congress playing games/politics...it still happens today.

Exodus (1960) - 6
It tries too hard to be epic but in the ends just feels like an overdone bore. Paul Newman couldn't even save this, although the score was nice.

Anatomy of a Murder (1959) - 8
Jimmy Stewart is awesome and it's one of the all-time great courtroom dramas.

The Man with the Golden Arm (1955) - 7
Frankie's not bad and who could forget Elmer Bernstein's fantastic jazzy score (you've probably heard it before).

Laura (1944) - 8
I'll just echo what Avaitor said "Classic noir. Clifton Webb steals the show."

Pier Paolo Pasolini:

I've got nothing.

Bernardo Bertolucci:

The Last Emperor (1987) -
I've heard it's overrated but I'm still tracking it down.

Last Tango in Paris (1972) -
I saw the sex stuff and then changed the channel when it was over.

Dario Argento:

Do You Like Hitchcock? (2005) -
I do but what is this movie?

Hayao Miyazaki

Ponyo (2008) - 7.5
Very entertaining, great characters but it all falls apart at the end.

Howl's Moving Castle (2004) - 7.5
Great movie, stunning animation, although the story pushes it a little far with the weird bird sequences and anti-war message. The English dub it's good enough to earn a mention (although I'm perplexed as to why they would hire a British actor to voice a British character but have him use an American accent?).

Spirited Away (2001) - 8
Best Alice in Wonderland adaption ever.

Princess Mononoke (1997) - 8
Once of his best. The score is incredible also. My major complaint is the animal's mouths when they talk - comes across as awkward.

On Your Mark (1995) - 6.5
Not bad, it's a music video, what do you want. If you don't care for the music, I didn't, then you probably won't enjoy this and you can't really fault Miyazaki with that.

Porco Rosso (1992) - 8
My favorite of his, it's an all around adventure flick - with some comedy throughout - that feels like classic Hollywood. Porco could easily be played by Bogie and they even have a pirate that looks like Bluto. It's just such a fun movie and I'm really excited for the sequel.

Kiki's Delivery Service (1989) - 7.5
Wholesome fun. Just a delight to watch that it leaves you with such a positive feeling. The only thing pulling down the rating is Ursula. I just don't like her.

My Neighbor Totoro (1988) - 6
While I love Totoro the character, I didn't care at all for this story. With all the hype it gets, along with Totoro being the company mascot, it severely disappointed.

Castle in the Sky (1986) - 6.5
Some nice creativity and interesting story but it gets pretty dull at times. I almost feel as though the world shown in the opening credits would've been more interesting.

Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind (1984) - 6.5
I actually liked the characters but found the whole giant bug thing and other concepts kind of dumb and the story not very interesting. I've heard from many people that the manga is better and that even Miyazaki feels this way as it got better as he grew/gained experience. To bad he won't just adapt the manga.

Lupin the Third: The Castle of Cagliostro (1979) -
Even though I didn't really care for the series I've been trying to track down a copy of this.

[TheSequelOfDisney]

Hayao Miyazaki
Ponyo (2008) - 7.0
It's quite entertaining; it's good, but not one of my all-time favorites

Howl's Moving Castle (2004) - 7.5
Love this film; I thought it was a great follow-up to Spirited Away

Spirited Away (2001) - 8.5
Fan-freaking-tastic; it's my second favorite Ghibli film and I'm enchanted by it every time I see it

Princess Mononoke (1997) - 8.0
This film is awesome; I was kind of stunned how powerful an anime film could be (along with Grave of the Fireflies, which brought me to tears the first time I saw it)

Porco Rosso (1992) - 6.5
Eh, it's okay; not one of my favorites, but it's decent enough

Kiki's Delivery Service (1989) - 8.5
This was the first Miyazaki film I saw; it's my favorite Miyazaki/Ghibli film and it's what got me hooked on anime/Studio Ghibli

My Neighbor Totoro (1988) - 7.5
This one's great as well; I love the characters and it's just an enjoyable film to watch

Castle in the Sky (1986) - 7.0
This one's just okay for me; it's an interesting concept, but I wasn't immediately brought into it like some of the other Miyazaki films

Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind (1984) - 7.0
Similar to Laputa (which is just easier/faster to say than Castle in the Sky); it's a good first start (even though it technically isn't Ghibli) to Miyazaki's work at Ghibli and is a nice film overall

[Goliath]

The last list came up a bit dry. So, here are some more.

Well, I'm never here during the weekends, so I haven't had a chance to reply yet. But truth to be told, I haven't seen many of them, which puts me a bit to shame. But I was never a big fan of the European New Wave/neorealism movies. Most 'world cinema' I've seen is from the 1990's and 2000's. I'll give my thoughts on the two lists later. Now I'm gonna catch up on the drama in the Disney Discussion section.

[Disney's Divinity]

Bernardo Bertolucci:

The Dreamers (2003) ~ 6/10 Didn't really like Carter in this. I liked the guy who played her brother though.

Hayao Miyazaki

Ponyo (2008) ~ 5/10 Mostly, this is a complete mess. But the animation is worth the watch.
Howl's Moving Castle (2004) ~ 7/10 You know, this is really popular with most people. I think what might have hurt my opinion of this is that I read the book a few months prior to finally seeing it. That book was damn awesome--one of my favorites--and the movie didn't live up to it at all. Even on its own, it's not especially outstanding. Neither Sophie or Howl come together well as characters in the film. Still, it's not all bad--it has the charm of any Ghibli film. And both the Witch of the Waste (nothing like in the book though) and Calcifer are pretty awesome. I wish they hadn't given old!Sophie such a big nose, btw.
Spirited Away (2001) ~ 10/10 I have to admit I love this film. Maybe the only thing I wish they had expounded on was Ubaba's sister--if she's so nice, why did she attempt to kill both Haru and Sin? Regardless, it's one of their best.
Princess Mononoke (1997) ~ 10/10 Loved this one, too. I only give them 10's because I really can't think of flaws.
Porco Rosso (1992) ~ 8/10 I used to not like this movie (based on first watch), but I recently gave it another chance and it really shined that viewing. Still, there are parts of it that are a little mundane (all the women fixing his plane, the fight at the end, etc.).
Kiki's Delivery Service (1989) ~ 9/10 This is the first Miyazaki film I saw, back when they used to play it on the Disney Channel (before the Channel was complete crap), when I was 5 or so. It's so whimsical and charming.
My Neighbor Totoro (1988) ~ 7/10
Castle in the Sky (1986) ~ 4/10 There's nothing worse than a long, boring film. I honestly can't remember liking much of anything about this. I've felt I should watch it again to be fair, but I don't want to put myself through the waste again.
Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind (1984) ~ 8/10 This is another one that I didn't like on first viewing, but enjoyed the second time. You can definitely feel the age on this one, moreso than their other films, but I still like it.
Lupin the Third: The Castle of Cagliostro (1979) ~ 9/10 Loved this movie--and I wouldn't have expected to. I had avoided it because it looked garish and cartoony, but it actually works pretty well.

[PeterPanfan]

Bernardo Bertolucci:

The Dreamers (2003) ~ 6/10 Didn't really like Carter in this. I liked the guy who played her brother though.

Who is Carter? If you're referring to the character of Isabelle, the actress' name is Eva Green.