I Would Like to Know... (Who Here is Gay?)

[SpringHeelJack]

See, I don't doubt the existence of bisexual people, it's just that so many I know just use that as a transitioning phase that I don't think there's nearly as many as there are claimed to be. It's like "Just because you think boobs are fun-looking doesn't mean you're bisexual. It means you're a gay man who likes to play with boobs."

Also, personally, I'd find it difficult to date a bisexual because I have enough control issues that I don't need yet another variable. It's hard enough to deal with the fact that a significant other might ditch me for a better man, but at least that narrows the playing field.

[Disney Duster]

jeremy88, so do your parents know that your sister is bisexual? What's her story?

some gay people are not okay with that

Which is something I don't understand. Why is it both gay and straight people believe you have to be either exclusively gay or exclusively straight, or that if you're bisexual, that you must favor one over another? The human heart doesn't recognize gender, and the human mind doesn't care. And the human body is a beautiful thing, regardless of the biological definition of gender.

STOP IT! Look, there ARE people who are exclusively gay or exclusively straight! In fact, even if you consider being with the opposite sex or end up with the opposite sex, but you've almost entirely only liked the same sex, you are still gay, you just made an exception. And you know how we love people because they make us laugh, they like things we like, and they are beautiful people on the inside? What the hell is wrong with also loving who they are on the outside, loving their beautiful parts because we think those parts are beautiful, not the parts of the opposite sex. Sure, I can "see" how a woman's body is beautfiul, but a man's body will always be more beautiful to me and just do a lot more for me/to me. The mind knows gender, and it loves gender. My mind loves boys. And it definately cares. As for my heart, I don't know, who the hell knows, but it's certainly possible that my heart loves boys more than girls, too, as I have experienced much to suggest that. GET IT!

I agree with everything SpringHeelJack said. And I will add, how can I expect a boyfriend of mine to be fully dedicated to me if he's not fully dedicated to liking boys?

[PeterPanfan]

Disney Duster, I don't think Albert's post required someone to scream at him.. It wasn't harmful/controversial/mean in any way.

It's not someone's fault if they are attracted to both sexes. I would never base someone's love for me off of their sexuality. It's kind of rude, because you're just judging them. Discriminating, actually. So you're saying that you don't trust bi-sexual people?

[Escapay]

Disney Duster, I don't think Albert's post required someone to scream at him.. It wasn't harmful/controversial/mean in any way.

There's a long and drawn out history behind it, Panfan. Mike and I e-mail frequently about various things (I think the latest discussion we had was about Faerie Tale Theatre, "Rhings", a couple of my theme park stories, and unique names like Ioan Gruffudd), and a topic that always comes up is our beliefs about sexuality. More often than not, I always continue to spout out my belief in pansexuality, which is an off-shoot of bisexuality, but without the restrictions of gender (in the biological sense).

For example, let's say Group A likes Red, and Group B likes Yellow. Then Group C comes along and likes Orange. Why do both Group A and Group B suddenly start questioning Group C's likeness of Orange, and ask "which color do you really prefer? Come on, you have to pick a side?" It's stupid, and is exactly what I'm seeing in all the arguments gay and straight people have about bisexuality.

I'm not saying that people who are exclusively straight or exclusively gay are wrong. I'm just saying that they misunderstand the real concept of bisexuality/pansexuality, and it stems from them wanting more people on their side. And I'm not gonna say anymore because this whole conversation's been done to death in this thread and I honestly don't care anymore.

Albert

[Isidour]

Well said PeterPanFan:

Not because a guy may be Bi-sexual doesn't mean he/she can't love as any gay or straight. Beside, considering how the culture has become the male model as a more feminine as the feminine has become more manly it's normal if not obvious that bisexuality was not only near to happen but to even take it as normal.

And as it have been said, it's not for us or anyone to judge another human being because that's what we all are, HUMANS people, it doesn't matter if you're gay, straight or bi

Escapay:

I think the same, why does all people tend to think that if someone is bisexual it means that is confused?
It would be like someone dare to say, that the bisexual are the less confused because they aren't really 100% attracted to the same sex

[jeremy88]

Look at it this way, it doesn't matter if you are gay/straight/bi...if you are in a relationship, your going to devote yourself to that one person your currently with. Sure I definitely still find woman attractive, but that doesn't mean I'm going to go hit on them or cheat. I dedicate myself to my boyfriend and just him, perhaps one day, that "love" word will come into play. Basically it's the same as any other relationship, wheather you prefer woman or men, or both, the person you are with, is the person you will stick too. The key thing in a relationship is "trust". My boyfriend is exclusivley gay, and I trust he won't go out looking for that "better man" cause he has me, whille he has his trust in me not going after other woman or men.

To answer about my sister, our family doesn't know she is either. She never came out to me, I actually don't even know if she's bi-sexual, I figured she's bi-sexual because in high school she had a boyfriend for quite a while. I found out a long time ago through myspace, her page never said if she's bi or lesbian, but I did noticed some comments from other lesbians or bi-sexual woman. And then recently, it says she's in a relationship. And she has a picture of a girl with a heart around her and she's also #1 on her top friends list. Darn myspace lol. But this goes into a new story!

There are now four people that know(my sister). I've never brought up her sexuality or personal dating life to her but I was like "well lets put it on the table tonight!" SO since she always knew I knew, she was okay with me knowing. "So you must have noticed my myspace!" She was really worried about me knowing I could tell, she was all like "Moms gunna kill me..." and stuff like that...and then to make her feel better I was like "OH, Well since the airs cleared about her and me knowing about her! Nows a great time for bro/sister bonding!!!" So I told her...and wow...she was shocked out of her mind!!!! She was all like "SHUTTUP BRO! NOWAY!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! WHAT?!?!?" Pretty much, she always thought I was straight and had no clue...but she was relieved in way knowing more about me and she was really happy I told her. I guess she always felt alone in our family in that sense, but now we feel closer to each other. Sexuality has been taboo between us, and last night I felt like I needed to bring it to the table, I wanted to tell her, and the best way I did that was knowing about herself. If she was straight theres no way in Hell I would have said anything yet heh. But I always said I will only tell her, if she's okay about me knowing about her...man thats confusing lol. So ya, this was last night when she came home from school...and coming out to her was the most easy coming out story so far lol.

Ah but Escapay, thanks for letting me know what happened to Gromit! I had no clue about the spat between you and T1GP. I did notice you were away, but I didn't know what for(obviousley I hadn't visited the feedback secton), and when you returned I noticed the change in your profile. Are you doing okay though? It has seemed that a part of you died a little. Nonetheless, you are definitely still that serious guy, that goes off on those ocasional humourous tangents. All in all you will always still have that Escapayish vibe to you Albert

[Prudence]

So, I'm going to take some time to (possibly) change the subject. I would like to speak of my kid sister.

She is seventeen. Granted, we're only a year apart in age, but she feels like "my kid sister" because she and I are practically polar opposites. By the time I was at the exact age she is now, I was independent. She would be content to live with our parents forever. She has never worked at a real job in her life. She was fired from working for our uncle, because she preferred playing the video game Day of Reckoning to actually working. She's a harmless but very silly girl who never wants to grow up, and spends her time making crude jokes about every subject. And as for Disney, she dismisses it as childish. Pot calling the kettle black, I know.

And she's a secret lesbian. I had suspected this since she was in the fifth grade, for various reasons, but she has now gone so far as to come out to me and only me. Her girlfriend is the only other person that knows, and it goes without saying that her own girlfriend would know. I wasn't very surprised.

For all our differences, we still share a bond that only sisters can have. I love her, and I'm now afraid for her. She plans on coming out to our parents... with her girlfriend by her side. There are a number of reasons I think this is foolish. As aforementioned on another page, those people who created me have a number of screws loose. They are the type of conservatives that make conservatives look narrow-minded. This news would break their hearts. If my sister comes out, I will come out as well. She'll inevitably get more attention, as a lesbian is more of a target than someone who swings both ways, but my parents will be crushed knowing that neither of their daughters are "right". I *love* my father so much, and I can't blame him for his overly right-wing mindset. You have no idea how much I want to avoid hurting him. My mother... can receive the hard, cold truth in respect to her eldest daughter (as I am independent from her and unafraid of her wrath), but I fear for Patience. She'll want to throw her out of the house, to which my father will plead and cry.

Patience can't support herself. She lacks the ambition, she lacks the dedication, and she simply doesn't want to. She and I have opposite natures.

As for her girlfriend, well, that only adds an extra problem to all of this. Her girlfriend is merely fourteen. In less than a year's time, their relationship -- which both have told me is sexual -- will be illegal. My sister is a gruff tomboy, but she's also very fragile. She would have a literal mental breakdown if imprisoned.

Of course, she's not going to heed my warnings. She plans on coming out as soon as the local Mother's Day festivities are over, which will be later this week. I feel helpless, which is an awful feeling. I can't protect my baby sister from the inevitable.

[TheKey]

jeremy88: Congratulations on your coming out! =)

Prudence: About that illegal relationship: I'm not very familiar with the laws in the US, could you explain them to me?
I feel very sad for your sister and I can't imagine how it must be like for her and for you to have parents that are so conservative.

Here in Germany a lot of people don't have a problem with gay people... I guess a big reason for that is that our politics are very gay-friendly, too.
It's sad that it's not like this everywhere. :/

[nachonaco]

I'm 80-20. (80 straight, 20 lesbian).....At least that's what I consider myself to be because of certain fantasies....

I haven't told very many people. No one in my family knows.

[PatrickvD]

so no one is familair with the Kinsey scale?

[Isidour]

Well, everyone have had at least one fantasy involving same-sex relations, perhaps there's more bisexuals than we thought


PatrickvD:

The what?

[PeterPanfan]

Prudence, I would strongly suggest not telling your mother on Mother's Day.

[The Little Merman]

some gay people are not okay with that

Which is something I don't understand. Why is it both gay and straight people believe you have to be either exclusively gay or exclusively straight, or that if you're bisexual, that you must favor one over another? The human heart doesn't recognize gender, and the human mind doesn't care. And the human body is a beautiful thing, regardless of the biological definition of gender.

It's weird, I know we're past this and all, and I love you to death E, but I just don't get that statement. I mean, yeah it does. At least to me? Take my enormous crush on Leo--I "love" him, because he's a gorgeous man. He seems like he has a great personality, he's a great actor and, as stated, I really just think he's beyond beautiful. Now, lets take like Eva Longoria or something. Yeah, sure she's "beautiful", but my human heart doesn't think "Oh, I'd love to have a relationship with her." It thinks "She's beautiful, but she's a woman. I'm not sexually attracted to her. I'm attracted to men. " I don't know.

Just my two cents.

[Widdi]

Escapy appears to have a very Pansexual mindset, which I think is a wonderful thing. In a way I share it.

I view myself as a gay person, but I fully believe that it is possible for me to fall in love with a female. It has never happened that way before (I have only ever fallen in love once, and that was with another male), but I can't say that it will never happen. I think it highly unlikely, but I'll never say never.

I think once a person labels themselves with either gay or straight the shut themselves down the possibility of ever being with they gender they have chosen to isolate themselves from sexually. Don't get me wrong, I don't believe for a minute that sexuality is a chosen thing, I just think it is more narrow minded then it ought to be.

All things considered I carry the label of gay (and I carry it horribly is you ask many of the people closest to me) but that's because I've yet to prove to myself that I'm anything else.

[SpringHeelJack]

Okay, I mean, is it POSSIBLE for me to fall in love with a woman and share a deeply meaningful sexual relationship? Sure. But is it also possible that tomorrow morning Professor Xavier will wheel up to the front of my apartment, inform me that I have latent pyrokinetic abilities, and ask me to join the X-Men? Yes. Frankly, there's a greater chance of the latter.

By identifying myself as "gay", I'm not closing myself off to anything I want. I'm closing myself off to an intimate sexual relationship with a woman, something I have never desired. Believe me, I have made my distaste for their nasty bits well known.

Is there a whole Kinsey scale of sexual identity? Okay, I'll buy that sexuality works on a sliding scale. But I also firmly place myself as a Kinsey 6.

[2099net]

Presumably "The Kinsey 6" would be the superteam you would join if Professor X did wheel himself up to the front of your apartment and inform you that you did have latant pyrokenetic abilities?

And why Pyrokenetic? That's a little creepy.

[Prudence]

Prudence, I would strongly suggest not telling your mother on Mother's Day.

That goes without saying. I said that my sister is coming out after the local Mother's Day festivities, which will end some days after Mother's Day itself.

On the Kinsey Scale, I am a 2 and Pat is a 6.

TheKey, it is illegal in the United States for an adult to have sexual relations with a minor. Thus, because of the activity between Pat and her girlfriend, Pat could easily be condemned by the law in less than a year.

[Flanger-Hanger]

What is the scale everyone keeps referring to? How does it work?

[Prudence]

What is the scale everyone keeps referring to? How does it work?

[SpringHeelJack]

Presumably "The Kinsey 6" would be the superteam you would join if Professor X did wheel himself up to the front of your apartment and inform you that you did have latant pyrokenetic abilities?

And why Pyrokenetic? That's a little creepy.

Hahaha, I never even thought of that! That would be an amazing title for a group of superheroes.

My excuse for pyrokinesis? Okay, it's a long story. My freshman year of college, my friends and I had this story for a short film where we were superheroes. My friend Anders was the head of the "good guy" group, and because I lack a moral compass, I opted to be the leader of the "bad guys", and pyrokinesis felt like a "bad" power. From that point on, I've just sort of associated myself with it. I always wanted a "physical" superpower as opposed to something like telekinesis.

Also, we decided if I were pyrokinetic, my superhero name could be "Flamer", a not-so-subtle jab at my gayness.