Disney Villains Enchanted Tales

[Ariel'sprince]

Thanks,PrincePhillipFan I have a question-what happens in this picture?:

And Flanger-Hanger,your first story with Aurora in bed with Maleficent made me laugh really out loud,and also the other pictures.

[PrincePhillipFan]

In that one pictue, Phillip is telling Aurora of how battled a dragon to save her, as she's just laughing at the whole idea. "Next thing you know, he'll be telling me the goose we bought lays golden eggs. He's such a kidder!"

[Disney Duster]

Thanks for these Tim!

Aurora: That was AMAZING!

Phillip: *thinking off to the side* Prince Edward said that to me once.

Aurora: 0_o

That's really good! And it inspired me...


Phillip: Woah! Aurora you...either got really gussied up for me or you're some hotter chick! And I'm into older women with powerful personalities. Aurora's a real snooze!

Maleficent: I set my trap for a peasant, and WOAH, I catch a prince! Please tell me there's no truth to those gay rumors!

Phillip: Want to check out my sword of truth?

Maleficent: Swords? Violence? You're into kinky stuff like S&M?

Phillip: This is the 14th century!

Maleficent: And away to my dungeon we GO!


Aurora: Wow, that was AMAZING! But, I couldn't have ripped up your clothes so badly. Where were you?

Phillip: If you want to talk about AMAZING...let's just say I was battling Maleficent...with my dragon.

Aurora: UGH! So, wait, did you kill her?

Phillip: Well, yea.

Aurora: Well, if she was so amazing then why would you kill her and come back for me? Hm?!

Phillip: Well, she's magical and doesn't really look her age, but she's like a century old and...well...let's just say the battle was a little rough and something happened to her heart.

Aurora: 0_0

(In case you didn't get it, Mally died of heart attack from the sex, but I cleverly referenced the sword plunging into it)

[singerguy04]

(While reading her credit card bill)
Maleficent- Since when did I get a subsrciption to Princesses Gone Wild?



Maleficent- NO! When I said I was so happy I could burst, I didn't mean I had a bomb! Oh crap, I just said bomb in a national landmark! AGH!


(Aurora sobs loudly)
Maleficent- Oh come on now, you can't tell me you thought I was serious when I told you I thought you might've gained a little weight! *rolls eyes* teenagers... (slips some pills into a drink) Here take this drink maybe it'll help you get some rest.


Aurora- But...but... you're not prince charming.
Maleficent- uh...
Aurora- I thought I was supposed to wake up after true-loves kiss when I went to sleep
Maleficent- um...
Aurora- That is what you said what would happen after you gave me that drink you made me. I went to sleep and next I find you standing over me a few hours later. What is going on here.
Maleficent- Here, just shut up and prick your finger on this spinning wheel
Aurora- And why is there a videocamera set up in the corner like that?
Maleficent- SHUT UP!

[Ariel'sprince]

Singerguy04-I can't stop laughing very out loud when I read your post that's priceless .
Disney Duster-*Gasps* that's sorta dirty,but also funny .
PrincePhillipFan-Thanks for telling (Thought about what he's telling her-He was saving himself,he wasn't saving her at all),and do you have scans of Aurora's side of the story?.

Phillp-Hell... WHA!!! you aren't that peasent girl,are you?.
Maleficent-What? oh,no,I"m Maleficent,mistress of all evil,and pleasure.
Phillip-Oh... so the peasent girl...
Maleficent-You mean Princess Aurora.
Phillip-She's Aurora? well.... I better get going...
Maleficent:Oh,but you must come with me.
Phillip-No.... I... *screams*.
*After a while*.
*Flora,Founa and Merriweather goes to Maleficent's castle,find bound and gagged Phillip*.
Founa-Where's Maleficent?.
Flora-I don't know but we found Phillip.
Founa-But Malef...
Flora-Later.
*They ungag him*.
Phillip-Run!.
Merrieather-What?.
*They turn around and see Maleficent,she waves her hands and they get locked up with no way to escape*.
Maleficent:Ha! you fall for my trap! now we can have a whole night of sex just the 5 of us!.
*Flora,Founa and Merriweahther screams*.
Maleficent:Oh yes! come to mommy!.
*Chain the fairies*.
Founa:I told you that she"ll...
Flora and Merriweather:SHUT UP!!!.
*Meanwhile,at the Enchanted Kingdom*.
*Alarm clock wakes Aurora up,she wakes up and look around*.
Aurora:Where's everyone?.
*She hears starnge noises from Maleficent's castle*.
Aurora:Oh well,I"ll go to dance with the owl *leaving the room*,but if I know you I know what you"ll do,you"ll love me at once,the way you did once upon a dream...

Aurora-But you"re not Phillip! you promised me a prince!.
Maleficent-No,but... I"m better then all of those queer princes! now kiss me!.
Aurora-No! get out of my room!.
Maleficent-Do I get a goodbye kiss?.
Aurora-NO!.
Maleficent-Pretty please? maybe just a little sex?.
Aurora-OUT!!!!!!.
*Chasing her with a chair and trying to attack her*.
Maleficent-But you don't understand! Diablo is dead...
Aurora-I don't care!!!!.
*Chasing each other with chairs*.

[pap64]

Am I the only one that finds it a tad disturbing that the best captions and stories are those that heavily feature sex and homosexuality? ...

[Escapay]

Mally: Well, what do you think, Mypet? Is this caption good enough for the "write something funny for this picture of us" bandwagon?

Mypet: My name's not Mypet, it's Diablo.

Mally: Yes, but Scaps is writing for us, and he likes to call you Mypet. It's his thing.

Mypet: ...

Mally: All right, let's bring this to the royal court, hopefully they'll like it.

(Mally and Mypet disappear in a puff of smoke, and reappear in the royal court. They're immediately surrounded by guards.)



Guard 1: Halt! You're trespassing!

Mally: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Watch where you point that thing!

Guard 2: Who are you?!? Identify yourself so we know what name to cry out when shout "Die Insert-Your-Name-Here Die!"

Mally: I'm um...

(She notices a "Kingdom's Most Wanted" poster in the corner with a picture of her. She scowls because it's not her best side.)

Mally: I'm the Queen!

Guard 3: You can't be the Queen! You're talking...like, more than eight words!

Mally: You really think the Queen only knows eight words?

Guard 4: Yeah, she only seems to say two things. "Then you're not offended, Your Excellency"

Guard 3: And "Oh no!"

Mally: Funny, I thought she was just saying "No!" and having a sort of wordless gasp.

Guard 2: I always thought that too.

Guard 1: No, she's definitely saying "Oh no", it makes more sense.

Guard 4: I don't believe you.

(The guards then argue a bit while Mally and Mypet sneak away. They find themselves in Aurora's bedroom, where she is crying in front of her vanity.)



Mally: Oh, dear, Aurora, what's wrong?

Aurora: Everything! I just found out I'm the most boring person alive!

(Sophia Petrillo enters.)

Sophia: Did something happen to Regis Philbin?

(She exits. Aurora and Mally look confused, while the UDers who get the joke give a "hehe, I know the joke!" smile.)

Aurora: As I was saying...I found out I'm the most boring person alive.

Mally: Oh, come now, that's not true. Why you're a very enchanting and exciting person!

Aurora: No, I'm not.

Mally: Yes you are! Why, you've got a wonderful singing voice. And you've got a keen fashion sense. I doubt there are many people who can pull off both the "Barefoot Peasant" and the "Color Changing Princess"! And sing about it too!

(Aurora begins to perk up.)

Aurora: You know, you're right. I am interesting. I'm beautiful! I'm talented! I'm...I'm...(yawns)...tired.

Mally: Come now, I'll tuck you in.

Aurora: But I can't sleep now! I'm going to meet Phillip at the cottage in the glen! It's important! It's our...(yawns)

Mally: (concerned) What? What is it?

Aurora: ...secret sex place...(yawns)

Mally: Secret. Sex place.

Aurora: We like to play dress-up there. You know, the hunter finding the peasant girl?

(Mally rolls her eyes.)

Aurora: And I'm supposed to be the hunter tonight.

Mally: Dear lord.

(Mally walks Aurora over to the bed.)

Mally: You better not go over tonight. In your condition he's liable to rape you in your sleep like in the original story. I'll go to the cottage and tell Phillip he's not getting any tonight.

(She tucks Aurora in.)



Aurora: Thank you. You take such good care of me.

(Mally chuckles.)

Mally: I nearly killed you, hon.

Aurora: You nearly killed me because you care! If you didn't curse me, I never would have met Phillip the way I did! Why, I might have grown up with him and grown to hate him! But having me isolated like that and meeting him when he's a hot young thang...thank you so much!

Mally: O..kay.

Aurora: Will you read me a story so I can go to sleep?

(Mally looks at her "write something funny for this picture of us" submission.)

Mally: Um, sure! Now then, this story is called "The Band Wagon", and it's about how people join up in something because others do.

Aurora: (tired) Uh-huh...


Mally: Once upon a time, there lived a ...

(Aurora begins snoring.)

Mally: Wow, that didn't take long. Come now, Mypet. We have to meet Phillip in the cottage.

(She disappears in another puff of smoke and reappears in the cottage. Phillip arrives.)



Phillip: Aurora? Are you here? I'm ready! Let the huntress find the poor peasant boy and teach him a lesson!

Mally: I'm afraid Aurora is sleeping right now, Phillip.

Phillip: What? Oh...

(He looks first embarrassed, then disappointed.)

Mally: Don't worry, I know the perfect way to satisfy your libido without having to remove a piece of clothing!

(Cut to the two of them having tea.)



Phillip: This is supposed to satisfy my libido? Tea?

Maleficent: Never underestimate the orgasmic properties of tea.

Phillip: But it's...tea.

Maleficent: And it's an excuse to use this picture again. Really, Scaps, you couldn't come up with anything interesting for this?

Scaps: Hey, it's hard enough to do a continuing story with all the pictures as it is! So do something funny with this!

Maleficent: Well, you already had a nice conversation for us in your earlier post.

Scaps: That's old. Say something new.

Phillip: Um...okay. Roses are red, violets are blue, your story sucks.

Scaps: Right, just for that, I'm changing the story.

(Cuts to the throne room.)

Phillip: Where are we?

Scaps: This is the first day that you and Aurora are king and queen. You haven't slept together yet. So she hasn't seen you naked yet. So If I were to say something like...(whispers in Aurora's ear, she bursts out laughing.)...she'd do that.

Phillip: What did you tell her?!?

Scaps: That your equipment is...pre-shrunk.

(Aurora bursts out laughing again.)

Phillip: What? No! I'm just as big as the other boys! Ask any of the guys I went to summer camp with! Ask Swp! He's seen it more than anyone. He said it was the biggest he ever had - I mean saw!

(Aurora can't stop laughing.)



Phillip: Honestly, honey, it's THIS BIG! And it's only known a woman's touch!

(Aurora laughs louder than ever. Scaps smiles evilly from his computer.)

Scaps: Never say my story sucks, Phillip! I can do more than that! I could give you a really weird fetish. I could make you lose your confidence! I could introduce you to the Melty Man so that even if it is as big as a log it will deflate!

(Aurora's laughter is uncontrollable and she's rolling around on the floor.)

Aurora: The Melty Man!

Phillip: He killed my erection!

Scaps: He IS your erection!

Phillip: Noooooo!!

(Scaps laughs, then realizes that the next picture won't go well with this story.)

Scaps: Okay, I'll be kind. No more laughing Aurora. Here, I'll let you and Aurora have a roll in the hay, just to be nice.

(Cut to Aurora and Phillip, disheveled in bed.)



Aurora: (dreamily) Wow. Just...wow. And that we did it all with our clothes on...

(Silently, to the screen, Phillip mouths "Thank you!" to Scaps)

Phillip: So you like? It's the best you ever head?

(She gives him an affectionate kiss.)

Aurora: You were, without a doubt...the best I ever had.

(Phillip beams.)

Phillip: Thanks! I'm going to take a shower...or bath...or jump in a lake...well, whatever we do in the 14th century.

(He leaves and Aurora looks over at Scaps.)

Aurora: Think he bought it?

Scaps: He's a guy, when it comes to sex, he'll believe whatever he wants to believe.

(Aurora laughs. We then cut to the final picture.)



Mally: What a beautiful night to carry an umbrella for no reason. And to think, it all started with a caption for the "write something funny for this picture of us"!

(She takes her submission, rips it up into several pieces, and throws it in the wind.)

The End

albert

[Disney Duster]

Aurora: We like to play dress-up there. You know, the hunter finding the peasant girl?

(Mally rolls her eyes.)

Aurora: And I'm supposed to be the hunter tonight.

Phillip: Aurora? Are you here? I'm ready! Let the <strike>huntress</strike> hunter find the poor peasant <strike>boy</strike> girl and teach her a lesson!

There we go!

So anyway, that was really funny Scaps, 'specially the queen's limited ability to talk and Aurora's limited ability to be interesting! Oh, like mother like daughter!

And the whole think was quite cinematic, what with never knowing what Maleficent was going to say, and her getting rid of it, after, I guess, somehow, the story made it not matter because what happened was so poignant...even though...it was just some jokes!

[Escapay]

Aurora: We like to play dress-up there. You know, the hunter finding the peasant girl?

(Mally rolls her eyes.)

Aurora: And I'm supposed to be the hunter tonight.

Phillip: Aurora? Are you here? I'm ready! Let the <strike>huntress</strike> hunter find the poor peasant <strike>boy</strike> girl and teach her a lesson!

There we go!

It's actually supposed to be huntress and peasant boy, so Aurora's line should be changed. I originally was going to make it be the typical (and of course, anachronistic) "pizza boy and the bored housewife" but it seemed cooler to make a female hunter come seduce the peasant boy, even if that idea was less likely to happen in the 14th century.

So anyway, that was really funny Scaps, 'specially the queen's limited ability to talk and Aurora's limited ability to be interesting! Oh, like mother like daughter!

And the whole think was quite cinematic, what with never knowing what Maleficent was going to say, and her getting rid of it, after, I guess, somehow, the story made it not matter because what happened was so poignant...even though...it was just some jokes!

Thanks!

I actually wrote it with the intent of never finding out what her submission was, to sort of counter-act the whole purpose of the story (it's a submission for "Caption this!" about a person writing a submission).

albert

[Disney Duster]

Oh I see. Clever.

And no! Phillip is the peasant girl this time!

[houseofvillains]

If you do not mind me asking, which book are these pictures from? I have looked everywhere and I could not find them. Please help, thanks.

- Houseofvillains

[UmbrellaFish]

There are from a book series called "My Side of the Story"-

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_gw_1_ ... of+the+Sto

I haven't bought any of them myself, but the pictures are so entertaining, I might purchase some sooner or later.

[houseofvillains]

"There are from a book series called "My Side of the Story."

Thanks I shall check them out. They look very interesting.

- Houseofvillains

[Mooky]

Aurora- But...but... you're not prince charming.
Maleficent- uh...
Aurora- I thought I was supposed to wake up after true-loves kiss when I went to sleep
Maleficent- um...
Aurora- That is what you said what would happen after you gave me that drink you made me. I went to sleep and next I find you standing over me a few hours later. What is going on here.
Maleficent- Here, just shut up and prick your finger on this spinning wheel
Aurora- And why is there a videocamera set up in the corner like that?
Maleficent- SHUT UP!