What Disney Characters Will Never Say

[jeremy88]

The topic of Ariel happened to come up between a conversion between my friends and I. I hope its not TMI or disgusting...

Ariel: "Oh-my-GOSH! Month after month it's the same thing! Why oh why was I not informed that human woman must experience this monthly HELL! That's IT! PASS ME THE MIDOL! I HAVE THE STANGEST CRAVING FOR SEA WATER, being a human is totally not worth this! DADDY I'M HEADING BACK TO THE SEA! "

A few days later...after being turned back into a mermaid.

Ariel: "Well, sure glad that was over. I guess it's safe to go back to land at least til next month."

[Prudence]

The topic of Ariel happened to come up between a conversion between my friends and I. I hope its not TMI or disgusting...

Ariel: "Oh-my-GOSH! Month after month it's the same thing! Why oh why was I not informed that human woman must experience this monthly HELL! That's IT! PASS ME THE MIDOL! I HAVE THE STANGEST CRAVING FOR SEA WATER, being a human is totally not worth this! DADDY I'M HEADING BACK TO THE SEA! "

A few days later...after being turned back into a mermaid.

Ariel: "Well, sure glad that was over. I guess it's safe to go back to land at least til next month."

You genius.

[jeremy88]

You genius.

Thanks! I try lol.

[Big Disney Fan]

RIKU: Check out this awesome darkness suit, Sora!
SORA: You know, no offense, but that looks more like a man dress.

That was funny,BelleGirl .
Soon I"ll wirte what happened when Hannah Montana found herself in Halloween Town.

Hey, why don't you do something like this, with Hannah Montana, I mean, but you do it like in the Kingdom Hearts games, with HM winding up in different worlds (you could do one in Neverland, another in Atlantica, etc.).

[BelleGirl]

RIKU: Check out this awesome darkness suit, Sora!
SORA: You know, no offense, but that looks more like a man dress.



Hey, why don't you do something like this, with Hannah Montana, I mean, but you do it like in the Kingdom Hearts games, with HM winding up in different worlds (you could do one in Neverland, another in Atlantica, etc.).

It may be embarassing to admit but I don't know who Riku or Sora is. And The Hana Montana you all are writing about all the time, I don't know her either... she 's from TV?
Sorry if I seem ignorant

What ScroogeMcDuck will never say: "Don't worry about the expenses. After all I've got plenty of money, so I can pay!"

[Big Disney Fan]

It may be embarassing to admit but I don't know who Riku or Sora is. And The Hana Montana you all are writing about all the time, I don't know her either... she 's from TV?
Sorry if I seem ignorant

What ScroogeMcDuck will never say: "Don't worry about the expenses. After all I've got plenty of money, so I can pay!"

Hanna Montana is from TV, played by Miley Cyrus. And Riku and Sora are principal characters in Kingdom Hearts. Have you heard of Kingdom Hearts? I'm surprised you've never heard of Hannah Montana. I actually commend you for being one of the few to not hear of her.

[BelleGirl]

Hanna Montana is from TV, played by Miley Cyrus. And Riku and Sora are principal characters in Kingdom Hearts. Have you heard of Kingdom Hearts? I'm surprised you've never heard of Hannah Montana. I actually commend you for being one of the few to not hear of her.

I'm not much into Disney TV, hence my ignorance. Where I live there isn't a Disney channel either via cable. Severel Disney productions are shown on Jetix and Nickoledeon and other kid's channels. I don't turn them on usually.
Bottom line: Iv'e heard of "Hannah Montana" and "Kingdom Hearts" through Ultimate Disney, but I never saw either of them.

The last Disney TV show I saw quite regularly was Ducktales and that was quite a long time ago.

[Big Disney Fan]

BRER FOX: Well, Brer Rabbit, I guess I'm gonna have to skin ya!
BRER RABBIT: Go ahead, Brer Fox, skin me if ya like, b-b-b-but please don't fling me in that briar patch!
BRER FOX: Y'know, Brer Rabbit, on second thought, I'm feeling gracious today, so I'll just make you watch 30 episodes of Welcome Back, Kotter back to back.
BRER RABBIT: Uh, y'know, in that case, I'll take either being skinned or flung in that briar patch.

[Ariel'sprince]

The Princesses's Party:
Snow White:Why,wellcome to our party! Aurora has volunteered to make the meeting at her castle...
*Aurora snoring*.
Ariel:Why she's sleeping?.
Snow White:She's busy promoting her Platinum Edition lately,and it wearing a dress with heavy jewels makes you very tired..
Jasmine:It's better those golden dresses! I almost got blind thanks to them!.
Cinderella:Not to mention to those Ballet outfits,my feets still hurts from those shoes.
Snow White:But jewels are heavy,anyway we 2 new Princesses who just joined us-Giselle from Enchanted and Tiana from The Princess And The Fro...
Jasmine:Ariel,the water from your pool are spilling on the clean floor.
Ariel:Oops,sorry.
Giselle:I"ll get the birds to clean it.
Belle:I"m pretty sure she has servants for that.
Jasmine:No,Giselle! call the birds! I want her to let us stay at her castle.
Belle:Why?.
Jasmine:Oh,do you want to go to Cinderella's castle again?.
Cinderella:*Gets angry* What's that suppose to mean?.
Jasmine:Your castle is dirty and full of mice running around,not to mention that stupid clock.
Cinderella:At least I don't live in desert.
Jasmine:There's nothing wrong in living in the desert!.
Cinderella:Besides walking all day in a bra to show your body?.
Jasmine:*Gasps* HOW DARE YOU!?.
Snow White:Ladies,wer"re getting off-topic,so,what's your next events?.
Ariel:Oh,Ariel's Beginning was just released.
Belle:Oh,first your Platinum Edition,then your Broadway show,now another cheapquel for you,what's next?.
Ariel:Return To The Sea will be released in December...
Belle:And then you"ll be back to the Vault and I"ll got my spotlight already when my film will be released on Blu-Ray! finally! my merchandise!.
Ariel:Yeah,I can't wait to get your chew toy!.
Belle:Oh,give me a break.
Ariel:You give me break,you can never help that all the Disney Stores sells nothing but my merchandise,you won't be popular as me.
Belle:Oh,at least I read fairy tales,ha,people love.
Ariel:Whatever.
Snow White:Knock it off...
Giselle:You too are just greedy,whie you Ariel get millon of merchandise,my film just got released and the only lastest merchandise I got were a Halloween costume and a wedding dress.
Pocahontas:At least you got something,I didn't got neither of those.
Mulan:Can you imagine a little girl dress up as a girl wearing deer skin?.
Pocahontas:At least I wear cloths for HER,not HE.
Mulan:Shut up,tree huger!.
Giselle:Wait,you"re wearing a deer???.
Pocahontas:Yeah.
Giselle:*gasps* One of my animale friends is a deer!.
Pocahontas:Then let's hope I"m wearing him! maybe I should get more of those annyoing animale of Andalasia,I need new boots.
Giselle:Why you... oh,look at that,*gasps* a FLOWER! maybe I should uproot it?.
Pocahontas:Don't you dare!.
*Giselle uproot it*.
Pocahontas:YOU SAVAGE! LOOK WHAT THE PATH OF ANGER HAS BROUGHT YOU!.
Giselle:Whatever,racoon hugger!.
Snow White:Stop it! now...
Tiana:I don't seem to recall any part of the meeting's invitation about so much yelling.
Belle:That means you going to leave? yay!.
Tiana:Oh,shut it,bookworm.
Belle:Frog lover!.
Tiana:HOW DARE YOU????.
*Tiana and Belle start a catfight*.
Snow White:Stop it both of you!!!.
Jasmine:And don't break anything or we"ll go to Snow White's castle,or worse-Cinderella's castle again.
Cinderella:Is that Aladdin?.
Jasmine:What? *turns her back*.
*Cinderella steals the Genie's lamp*.
Cinderella:Ha!.
*Cinderella rub the lamp,turns Jasmine into a pumking*.
Ariel:Cindy,change her back!.
Cinderella:Don't you like her better that way?.
*Snow White takes Aurora's wand and grab the lamp from Cinderella and change Jasmine back to human*.
Jasmine:Next time I"ll call Rajah,Cindy!.
Cinderella:Oooh,I"m scared of the kitty cat!.
*Jasmine rubs the lamp,brings Gus,Jasmine traps him in a jar*.
Cinderella:Give him back,Jasmine!.
Jasmine:Oh no,Rajah is hungry.
*Cinderella and Jasmine fights over the jar*.
Ariel:Can we just have a nice,quiet party?.
Mulan:No one asked you,sushi!.
*Ariel's sisters shows up,the castle is full of water from the moat*.
Andrina:Nobody calls our sister a sushi!.
*They attack Pocahontas*.
Giselle:Oh my godness.
Pocahontas:Oh,maybe you should leave? I whould like that.
*Giselle gets angry,sings and call the animales,the animales attack Pocahontas*.
Jasmine:Okay,that's it! Rajah!.
*Rajah tried to eat Pocahontas*.
*Tiana and Belle makes a vase falls while in their catfight*.
*Everyone stops*.
Mulan:Bah!!! run everyone before she"ll know we broke that!!!!.
*Everyone runs away*.
*Rajah attakces the castle*.
Jasmine:Rajah! stops!.
Snow White:THAT'S IT FOR TODAY! THE NEXT MEETING WILL BE AT CINDERELLA'S CASTLE AND WE"LL TALK ABOUT THE RESTORATION OF HER FILMS! GOODBYE FOR NOW!!!.
*After a few hours,Aurora wakes up and sees what happened to her castle*.
Aurora:Gosh,what happened here?.
*Flora,Founa and Merriweather enters*.
Flora:Godness,child,what happened?.
Aurora:I don't know,I was asleep.
Flora:Oh well,let's fix your dress.
*Dress looks and better*.
Merriweather:Hey! it's blue!.
*Change it to blue*.
Pink:I want pink!.
*Change it to pink*.
*Color fight*.
Aurora:*Sigh* here we go again.

[pap64]

I found this clipart of the Disney Princesses. They look as if they are wishing upon a star. So in honor of my first post in this thread I present to you what they were wishing for...

Cinderella: I wish...for a way to kill my step family while making it look like an accident!

Snow White: I wish...people would stop calling me the shrill!

Jasmine: I wish...for people to stop calling me "The terrorist princess"!

Belle: I wish...I could enjoy other stories rather than fairy tales!

Ariel: I wish...to find out how in the hell I am floating in mid air!

Aurora: I wish...for a way to cure my insomnia!

[Flanger-Hanger]

John Lawless: God I hate the Irish. Bunch of drunken hoolagens don't do nuthin' for nobody.

Pollyanna: I'm glad I'm not going to die a decrepit miserable, hideous old woman like you Mrs. Snow. What? It makes me feel happy. Oh and here's your jar of whatever the hell those broads back at my aunt's place made for you. Chow. *struts away*

Mary Poppins: *uses tape measurer* Just as I suspected, "Mary Poppins, practically perfect in every way"...
Jane: That's not what it says, it says "Mary Poppins wanted for crimes against the crown..."
Mary Poppins: *grabs tape and stamps on Jane's foot* Learn to keep your eyes and hands to yourself you brat!
Micheal: Don't talk to my sister that way!
*Mary pulls out gun*
Mary: Oh, I see, were going to have to do this the hard way. Well if you can't keep your mouth shut boy, your sister hear is going to get 'er bloomin' brains blow out!
*Jane stats to cry*
Mary: I said shut your bloomin' mouth! *pistol whips Jane*
Jane: Father help!
Mr. banks: *downstairs* sounds like the woman is whipping those children into shape, I like that in a woman.
*Back upstairs Jane has calmed down*
Mary: That's better, good, were all calm now. *mood drastically changes with Mary, she's her seemingly pretty and peppy self* Now children, let's play tidy up the nursery. And if you do a good job I'll bring you some liquorish.
Micheal: But I don't like liquorish.
Mary: YOU'LL LEARN TO LIKE WHAT I TELL YOU TOO BLOOMIN' LIKE!!!

Ya, it's like if Faye Dunaway had played Mary.

[Ariel'sprince]

I found this clipart of the Disney Princesses. They look as if they are wishing upon a star. So in honor of my first post in this thread I present to you what they were wishing for...

Cinderella: I wish...for a way to kill my step family while making it look like an accident!

Snow White: I wish...people would stop calling me the shrill!

Jasmine: I wish...for people to stop calling me "The terrorist princess"!

Belle: I wish...I could enjoy other stories rather than fairy tales!

Ariel: I wish...to find out how in the hell I am floating in mid air!

Aurora: I wish...for a way to cure my insomnia!

That was funny (Espically Snow White,Cinderella and Jasmine). but I want to try to improve it:
Aurora:I wish... that people will know my real name and stop calling Sleeping Beauty all the time.
Cinderella:I wish... I know my prince's name.
Snow White:I wish... that people will love my voice more.
Ariel:I wish...
Aurora:Wait,how come you can fly?.
Ariel:After the Fairies took over my grotto they gave me this Pixie dust,I have 10 jars of it at home.
Aurora:Oh.
Ariel:I wish... I"ll always stay the most popular Princess ever.
Belle:I wish.. people will like me because of my character and film,not just because I read books while no one noticing I"m reading fairy tales.
Jasmine:I wish...
*Giselle,Pocaontas,Mulan enters*.
Giselle:Sorry we"re late,you can get lost in this castle!.
Jasmine:I wish.. I won't be underrated just because I"m an Arabian and that Aladdin will stay in the Platinum line.
Pocahontas:I wish... I"ll actually get more merchandise and more cliparts,I only have one.
Mulan:I wish... that my Enchanted Tale will be released already!!!.
Giselle:I wish... that people will finally realize that I"m an official Disney Princess.

[Escapay]

Snow White: I wish...people would stop calling me the shrill!

Modifying that a bit...

Snow White: I wish...that Escapay would love me for who I am and not what I sound like! If only he'll see past the pitch of my voice, and listen to the beauty of what I have to say to him... God, I love that man...

(She gets up and begins crooning Gershwin's "The Man I Love")

Someday he'll come along, The man I love
And he'll be big and strong, The man I love
And when he comes my way
I'll do my best to make him stay

He'll look at me and smile, I'll understand
Then in a little while, He'll take my hand
And though it seems absurd
I know we both won't say a word

Maybe I shall meet him Sunday,
Maybe Monday, maybe not
Still I'm sure to meet him one day
Maybe Tuesday will be my good news day

He'll build a little home, That's meant for two
From which I'll never roam, Who would, would you
And so all else above
I'm dreaming of the man I love

(Once the Shrill finishes her song, she looks around...and sees a hundred dogs around her, they heard her call and came to her side.)

Snow White: Oh, dear...

Ya, it's like if Faye Dunaway had played Mary.

Brings a whole new meaning to "Scary Mary"!

(Mary drags Jane to the bathroom, she runs her finger against the tile.)

Mary: Come here! Look at this floor! Do you call that clean? Do you?

Jane: Ellen said it was clean.

Mary: Ellen said it was clean. Do you think it's clean? Do you think it's clean? Look at that. Do you?

Jane: Yes, I do.

(Mary grabs some washcloths and scouring powder, tosses some on the floor, and begins scrubbing.)

Mary: Dirt on the floor. We're going to clean this floor, you and me together. Go! Scrub hard. Scrub! Scrub, Jane!

Jane: This floor's already clean.

(Mary hits Jane with the can of scouring powder, it gets everywhere.)

Mary: It's not! This floor is not clean. Look at it! It's not clean! Nothing is clean. This whole place is a mess!

Jane: Mary! Mary, I don't understand.

(Mary gets up, looks around, then looks at Jane.)

Mary: Clean up this mess!

Jane: How?

Mary: You figure it out.

(Mary leaves. Michael gets out of bed.)

Michael: I'll help you clean it up.

Jane: No, go back. Strap yourself in. She'll kill me if she found out. (pause) Jesus Christ!

Albert

[Flanger-Hanger]

^

[PrincePhillipFan]

Now I'm in the mood to go and watch Mommie Dearest. I haven't seen it in years.

[Big Disney Fan]

ANNIE JAMES: (doused with water from a water balloon-trap set by Hallie Parker) That girl is WITHOUT A DOUBT the lowest, most AWFUL creature to EVER WALK THE PLANET!!
HALLIE PARKER: (watching from outside; imitating Pee-wee Herman) I know you are, but what am I?

[Big Disney Fan]

(Technically, this is a Disney movie)

JAMES: Nobody's going to starve; the whole ship is made of food!
LADYBUG: Such a clever little boy.
EARTHWORM: WAIT!! We can't eat this ship! We'll fall like 60 bazillion meters down and land in a place of no metric system!
GRASSHOPPER: My dear lad, first of all, a bazillion is not a real number unit, and second of all, why must you be so gloomy all the time?
EARTHWORM: Because if I relent, I'll owe that donkey Eeyore ten bucks and I need all the money I can...
JAMES: Aw, c'mon, Mr. Earthworm, try some peach.
EARTHWORM: (eating the peach) It's not dirt, but it's not bad. Oh, who am I kidding; this stuff is GREAT!!
EEYORE: (appearing on the giant peach) Alright, Earthworm, pay up.
MISS SPIDER: Hey, how did he get up here?
CENTIPEDE: Just let it go, Angel Fangs.

[Ariel'sprince]

The Disney Fairies Meeting-
*Rosetta,Iridessa,Fawn,Silvermist and TinkerBell are together in Pixie Hollow*.
TinkerBell:Hello to all the Fairies and welcome to our meeting!.
Rosetta:Our movie was released yet?.
TinkerBell:Not yet but I deicded to make those meetings to spend time until the film will be release...
Iridessa:Will they finally released? we"re waiting something like 3 years or maybe even more.
TinkerBell:We just have a month until then and no more delays this time.
Iridessa:Finally.
TinkerBell:So... anyone wants to start with a topic?.
Rosetta:Yeah,do we get to sing a song?.
TinkerBell:No.
Rosetta:What? why not?.
Silvermist:Because Disney are more busy promoting their tween starts then let us sing.
Rosetta:So some Disney Channel stars sings?.
Iridessa:Yeah.
Rosetta:Say,Iridessa,how come you"re black? many fairies are white... or something else.
Iridessa:I"m a special fairy from Africa.
Rosetta:There are fairies in Africa?.
Fawn:Yeah,only that they call it mosquitos.
Iridessa:Hey!.
Fawn:What? it's true.
Iridessa:You"re racist.
Fawn:And you need to go somewhere,why don't you keep attacking fireflies?.
Iridessa:Why you...
TinkerBell:Enough! Fawn,no comments like this one,now,does anyone checked out Pixie Hollow in the Disney parks?.
Silvermist:I was there last week but couldn't get in.
TinkerBell:What? why not?.
Silvermist:Some Ariel fans tried to throw rocks on me and couldn't stop yelling at me!.
TinkerBell:What?.
Iridessa:Yeah,I also tried to get there a few days ago they tried to squash me!.
Fawn:Too bad they failed.
TinkerBell:Knock it off Fawn.
Fawn:What? couldn't they do me faver?.
TinkerBell:Shut up,Fawn.
Silvermist:How many movies are going to be?.
TinkerBell:Well,there's 4 more I think.
Fawn:Not sure.
Silvermist:What?.
Fawn:Hopefully,I"ll manage to kill Iridessa and Rosetta in the next film.
Iridessa:That's it! shut your mouth animale lover!.
Fawn:*With eyes shut*I don't believe in Rosetta and Iridessa,please god,kill Iridessa.
Iridessa:I had it,damn,whould you just shut up,squirrel lover?.
Fawn:Whatever,mosquito.
Iridessa:I told you to shut your mouth,cockroach!.
Fawn:Whatever.
TinkerBell:Fawn,shut your mouth.
Fawn:Says who?.
TinkerBell:Me.
Fawn:You?.
TinkerBell:The reason that you"re exited.
Fawn:What?.
Silvermist:Yeah,we were created for her.
Rosetta:Because until the film will be released we"re just her friends.
TinkerBell:So shut up or you"ll get kicked out and be deleted.
Fawn:Oooh,I"m scared,will you try to kill me just like you tried to kill Wendy?.
TinkerBell:I didn't tried to kill her!.
Fawn:You know,you seems A LOT more nicer now,did you killed Wendy?.
TinkerBell:OKAY! THAT'S IT!.
*TinkerBell and Iridessa fight,the other Fairies join them,Silvermist bring a jar*.
*Aurora,Cinderella,Jasmine and Ariel pass by*.
Aurora:They closed your Grotto for *this*?.
Ariel:Yeah.
Cinderella:Goodness me.
*TinkerBell smash Fawn in the wall*.
Aurora:Ouch.
Jasmine:Let's go to my palace and make a party.
*The Princesses leaves*.
*Tink traps Fawn in a jar,Rosetta and Iridessa sends it to the Jolly Rogers*.
THE END.

[Ariel'sprince]

*Mike and Sully watch Mitchel Musso's Emily Osment's clip of If I Didn't Have You,they look shocked and Sully turns the TV off*.
*Mike start crying*.
Sully:Aw,Mike,it wasn't that bad.
Mike:ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? *continue crying*.
Sully:No,you"re right,it is awful *Crying too*.
*Giselle seeing Demi Lovato's version of That's How You Know and looks angry*.
Giselle:Where's my animale friends? I"m going to get her...

[Big Disney Fan]

*Mike and Sully watch Mitchel Musso's Emily Osment's clip of If I Didn't Have You,they look shocked and Sully turns the TV off*.
*Mike start crying*.
Sully:Aw,Mike,it wasn't that bad.
Mike:ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? *continue crying*.
Sully:No,you"re right,it is awful *Crying too*.
*Giselle seeing Demi Lovato's version of That's How You Know and looks angry*.
Giselle:Where's my animale friends? I"m going to get her...

Yeah! I'm glad you're not afraid to take a stand against versions of Disney songs performed by the studio's talentless actors.