Here with one more skit is <b>Escapay</b>!:
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<center><b><u>UD Member of the Year</u></b></center>

:
Aaron: And now, presenting our final award of the evening...Albert Gutierrez
(a burst of fanfare, and as usual, the spotlight roams around the stage looking for the presenter.)
Aaron: Oh man, not again. (in a louder voice) AND NOW, PRESENTING OUR FINAL AWARD OF THE EVENING...ALBERT GUTIERREZ!
(another burst of fanfare, and as usual, the spotlight keeps roaming around. Suddenly, you hear a tapping. A strange tapping that seems to be coming from the ceiling. The audience looks up, as does the spotlight. Little bits of plaster start falling from one section, and onto the guests below.)
Voice: Psst! Pssst, spotlight guy, over here!
(The spotlight roams around a bit more.)
Voice: To your left a bit...that's it...no, dammit, you missed me!
(The spotlight goes back, and you see a head peeking out of the ceiling.)
Voice: There you go! Okay, George, lower me down!
(The ceiling begins to give way and a flying nun emerges. It's Whoopi Goldberg, as she appeared in the beginning of
Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit. Cheers erupt from the audience below, and Aaron is utterly speechless. He promptly faints as Whoopi comes in for her landing.)
Whoopi: Hi there, folks! I decided to make a big entrance so that you guys wouldn't forget met...unlike another awards ceremony which shall remain nameless...
(She shoots a dirty look towards Oscar, who ducks his head and tries to hide behind the large golden sphere that his wife Emmy always brings everywhere.)
Whoopi: I'm sure you all were expecting Albert to present the award for "UltimateDisney.com Member of the Year". After all, he signed up for it again and that's the name that's on the teleprompter that Aaron was reading off of a few moments ago. Well, he's not here. The guy unfortunately threw out his back, so he's safe at home - strapped to a board, lying flat on his back, hung upside down like a bat from the ceiling - and watching the ceremony on TV this year. He does want me to say a few words on his behalf, though. Here are the words: duck, shuffle, icky, blanket, lemonade, Inferno, and cerulean.
(Light applause from the audience.)
Whoopi: Now, as many of you know, the award for "UltimateDisney.com Member of the Year" is the final award of the evening, because it seems to have the most prestige. Indeed, all of us truly are Members of the Year, but we can't all be given a chocolate statues wrapped in gold foil. You know how much gold foil costs these days?
(laughter from the audience.)
With these six nominees, we pay tribute to members who the voting community believe best represents the ideals and posts that define UltimateDisney.com, and provide a strong and positive presence on the forums.
So, without further ado, our six nominees are...
2099net - UD's original British Invasion, Doctor Who fan, and HD-DVD junkie.
AwallaceUNC - the mastermind behind these forum awards and resident Amy Grant expert and fanatic.
Escapay - author of the book
How I Learned To Stop Complaining And Love The Slipcover...HAHA, APRIL FOOLS ON YOU AGAIN...don't hurt me, I don't want to go away in another dramatic and public exit
Julian Carter - the Maltese Falcon himself and our regular correspondent regarding serious animation discussion.
Luke - the super genius who runs this whole site and has an uncanny resemblance to Chuck Norris, Dean Jones, Wilford Brimley, Father Ted, and Mark-Paul Gosselaar.
Mr. Toad - vote for him. No seriously, vote for him. Even though it's the awards ceremony now, vote for him again.
Which of these nominees will go home with that chocolate statue? We'll find out after this commercial break...
HEAD ON! APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD!
Big Red
Kung Fu Panda
Campbell's Soup
UltimateDisney.com
VISA...priceless
Use Condoms
Whoopi: Welcome back to the 5th Annual UD Forum Awards. We are moments away from finding out who is the Member of the Year. This year, we decided to do things a little bit differently. I have here in my hand three envelopes. One envelope contains a Platinum credit card that will be paid by Disney for...well, forever. Another contains $1000. And the third contains the winner of "UltimateDisney.com Member of the Year". I will need two volunteers from the audience.
(various hands go up.)
Audience Members: Ooh, ooh! Pick me, please! Pick me! Pick Me!
Whoopi: I think I'll pick...the guy with the disturbingly black cloak...and the girl who set her pigtails on fire...
(lord-of-sith and Prudence come up to the stage.)
Whoopi: Hi there, folks.
lord-of-sith: Hi, Whoopi.
Prudence: Hello, Whoopi.
Whoopi: Now, I want one of you to pick one envelope, and one of you to pick the other. The third, I'll throw into this blazing bonfire of slipcovers.
(various gasps heard from the audience as a large bonfire of slipcovers is rolled onto the stage. Prudence picks an envelope, and lord-of-sith picks another.)
Whoopi: That means this third envelope will go into the bonfire.
(She tosses it in and it makes a terrific explosion. Cheers erupt from the audience, along with several sobs and cries of horror.)
Whoopi: Now, then, Prudence, why don't you open your envelope first?
(Prudence opens it, pulls out a wad of cash.)
Prudence: Whoa! Yeah!
Whoopi: Congratulations, Prudence, you've won $1000!
(Cheers from the audience.)
Whoopi: lord-of-sith, if you open your envelope, you'll either find a Platinum credit card that will be paid for by Disney for the rest of your life...or the winner of "UltimateDisney.com Member of the Year".
(lord-of-sith looks excited, and opens his envelope. It's the Platinum credit card! Even more cheers erupt from the audience.)
lord-of-sith: YES, YES, YES, OH GOD, YES!!!
Whoopi: (laughing) Calm down, kid, you're not Meg Ryan!
(She then looks at the audience.)
Whoopi: That's all for tonight, so good night folks!
(There is a collective "Oh my god, the third envelope had the winner" gasp from the audience. Exit fanfare plays and the house lights come on as everyone gets ready to leave.)
Aaron: Wait, wait, wait, the show's not over! We still have to announce the winner!
(Everyone stops, realizes what happened, and goes back to their seats.)
Aaron: Thankfully I always have a back-up envelope with the name of the winner.
(He pulls it out of his jacket pocket, and opens it.)
Aaron: And the award for "UltimateDisney.com Member of the Year" goes to...
<center>
Escapay

<i>This is Escapay's 9th Golden Mickey Award.
He has a total of 6 nominations this year.</i></center>
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Congratulations, Escapay!
-Aaron