DVDizzy Forum

I need you to explain me how this is possible.

I have a friend that has two children.

One of them is already a father and working.

The other is "girl" of 27 who´s doing NOTHING with her life. She doesn´t work. She doesn´t study.

What does she do all day you may be wondering?

She´s with her couple locked up in her bedroom all day smoking and sleeping.

They just come out when hungry.

She can spend the whole day sleeping. And when I mean the whole day I really mean it. She would wake up and go out at 8:00pm.

Next day repeat.

Because of that she lost her carreer.

...only had a couple of classes to finish but since she never did anything ended up loosing it.

Other thing she likes to do besides that is take her mother´s only car to go anywhere running out of gas.

...oh yes, she also likes to argue with her mom, even yelling at her and always complaining for everything.

My friend´s son and myself always tell her that she HAS to be doing something. Either studying, finding a job or helping around the house; ideally working since my friend´s salary is the only one in the house. So my friend has to buy everything and on top of that deal with lots of depts in loans.

I don´t care for her daughter. If she doesn´t do anything in the long run she´s the one that won´t have any future. But on the time being she has to help and/or at least don´t make my friend´s life miserable.

The worst part is that my friend doesn´t do anything.

She´s always telling her what she has to do...but never does it.

She tells her no to use the car...but always do anyways.

She tells her not to smoke in the car or the house...but does it regardless.

She complains of her sleeping the whole day. I tell her to wake her up at least. But she doesn´t.

...her reply? What am I going to do?

If someone can explain this to me I´ll be eternally grateful.

I'll try to give you my advice, or my perspective.

Well, perhaps she is very depressed. Sometimes it's not enough to just say to do this this and this, or how to do things right or if she's doing things wrong. I'll bet she already knows what is right and wrong, and doesn't want to be told that constantly.Or be told what she does is wrong. I think she might want to just talk. Go to her room and talk to her, even if she does just stay in her room. Even if for the first day she doesn't want to talk, be persistent, but slowly.

Make sure to compliment her, on any task she does right, even if it's she just turned her alarm clock off. Also perhaps she is hurting in her muscles, since pain can drain someone.

Treat her like Jesus would treat her, with kindness and eventually, she'll open up hopefully. Not sure when eventually would be, but, patience is a a huge key.

This song, is how she might feel at times. I think everyone does at some point in life.

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/QBVPYPX8W6w" frameborder="0"></iframe>

The thing is that she´s being doing this for years.

..I mean, not doing anyhting.

In any case, my friend had tried talking to her, praising her as you said, let her do whatever for a time...

She just doesn´t care.

I do not wanna sound offensive here, but considering that this girl is 27 I'd say she needs to get a life. Her mother is no longer responsible for her. So her things need to be put in a big box on the front lawn where she will meet mr. reality check.

She can either seize this opportunity to talk about what's troubling her and go out there to make something of her life, or continue down a destructive path and realize that no one is going to support her down that road.

Also, a 27 year old can't do 'nothing' and still have a roof, a shower, food, a car and apparently cigarettes. Someone in this scenario, her mother I'm assuming, is enabling this behavior. That needs to stop. Now.

Nothing in life worth having comes easy. So if she wants dinner on the table, she needs to EARN it. Trust me, when she goes hungry, she'll get up off the couch.

I´m with you Patrick.

The funny thing is that she´s always complaining and arguing with her mom.

What does her mother tell her?

Go live somewhere else.

She has her grandmother´s or her couple´s.

Her mother DOES enable her behavior when she lets her use her car, let her sleep all day (and the complain all she does is that) and smoking in the house and the car (and again my friend complains but doesn´t do anything).

As for her cigarrettes, the money comef from either her couple or her grandmother´s.

Worse of all is her couple that is, at this point not a bad influence since she´s a woman, but I´d say shameless.

How can you go to her house, get locked in the bedroom, smoke and sleep all day?

...again, my friend allows this to happen.

At least have the decency of doing it somewhere else.

As for my friend´s daughter she has gone so far as to argue with her mom oncce that "when would she make dinner?" When as I said, she´s doing nothing.

My brother was like that 27-year-old in his teens (he'll be 22 in January). He didn't have any motivation. He stopped trying in high school and dropped out. He could have done GED to graduate high school if he felt like it but he didn't. My brother did antics with his friends that got him in big trouble with the law. When he was 18, my mom kicked him out of our house because she was fed up with our house feeling like it's always under police watch because he wouldn't stop doing stuff that ticked them off.

He's gotten his act together in the last couple of years. He hasn't done any schooling since he dropped out of high school but he works for someone in the lawn care business. He downed his first deer ever (a buck) last month and he did it with bow and arrow which is pretty cool.

Maybe the 27-year-old will get her act together eventually?

My friend has no soultion whatsoever...

I just give up...the thing is that it agraviates me in SO MANY levels...

My friend keeps on having discussions with her daughter, she disrespects her...and all is fine in the end.

Plus, her couple keeps on sleeping/staying in her daughter´s bedroom like nothing.

So, I just give up.

It's gotta be she's depressed, or at least not in a place she wants to be.