DVDizzy Forum

Who can put up the worst joke ever? I'll start.

A 12-year-old girl is sitting in a barber's chair, and she's eating a twinkie. The barber says, "You know you're getting hair all over your twinkie, right?" She says "Yeah, and I'm getting tits, too!"

Please don't put up "The Aristocrats." Anyone who wants to read that one can look it up elsewhere.

Say "I was born on a pirate ship". Then keep saying it over and over and over as fast as you can until it sounds like you're saying "I was born in a pile of shit".

Now laugh.

One day, a fisherman catches a mermaid. The mermaid told him "I can grant you a wish!". The fisherman looks at her and says "Since you are so hot, how about a little head!". The mermaid then shrinks his head.

Tee hee...

Two guys walked into a bar.

The third guy ducked.

There was a man from Nantucket.

Nobody cared.

Actually, I think most of these have been good jokes. Except for Semaj's which wasn't actually a joke at all. (No offense.) Julian's was the closest to being what I thought the object of this thread was. Anyway, I thought this one was REALLY bad. It's not just crass, it's stupid and IMO not funny at all:

Snow White saw Pinocchio walking through the woods so she ran up behind him, knocked him flat on his back, and then sat on his face crying, "Lie to me! Lie to me!"

Lazario wrote:Snow White saw Pinocchio walking through the woods so she ran up behind him, knocked him flat on his back, and then sat on his face crying, "Lie to me! Lie to me!"

Um, OK.

*pause*

Hihi.

What time is it?

Time to get a watch.

Lazario wrote:Actually, I think most of these have been good jokes. Except for Semaj's which wasn't actually a joke at all. (No offense.) Julian's was the closest to being what I thought the object of this thread was. Anyway, I thought this one was REALLY bad. It's not just crass, it's stupid and IMO not funny at all:

Snow White saw Pinocchio walking through the woods so she ran up behind him, knocked him flat on his back, and then sat on his face crying, "Lie to me! Lie to me!"

I've recently seen "the little old lady who wrote all those dirty jokes" on Bizarre (an early 80s Canadian sketch comedy show,) and when she told it, it was funny.

CAUTION!! NSFW LANGUAGE AND GESTURES!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LCWIL6bajdo&t=3m10s

She worded it better.

Although, I have to say... I don't get those first 2 jokes she told AT ALL.