DVDizzy Forum

Some people on the Internet are very private about their personal lives. Others not so much.

I know that, for myself, sometimes I'll use UD (or the UD chat) kind of as a sounding board, getting advice. I feel that it's a fairly anonymous (although in some ways not very anonymous) way to get some advice in life...there are a few certain friends (in real life) that I also use as sounding boards, but sometimes it's nice to get a general consensus from others.

Do some of you feel that you enjoy giving and getting advice on a message board (whether it's UD or another one)? Do some of you find that creepy?

What if someone you know Googled you and found UD and found something you wrote that mentioned them (even if not by name)? Would they be weirded out?

Do some of you feel that things you say on a fairly anonymous message board can be taken the wrong way? Is sharing personal thoughts on a message board something that is weird/dangerous/laughable? What are your thoughts on the matter?

Everyone has different comfort levels, and some people might not want to reveal who they are at all, for the sake of anonymity. Others feel that since it's a small enough community and people we really know don't come here, that it's safe to post about their lives.

If you are someone who spills about your life on a message board, let's say you mention a situation you're in, and someone involved in that in real life somehow finds what you wrote? Would they feel that you betrayed their trust?

Does it make you uncomfortable when you read personal lives spilled out on UD? Do you wish we'd just stick with DVD vs. Blu-ray, slipcovers, and lace collars and not talk about personal stuff, that personal stuff doesn't belong on a Disney message board? Is there a happy medium? Can what you share on a message board come and bite you in the butt later? Even if you think it's anonymous...? I know for me, I Googled my email address recently, just wondering what came up, and UD was the first link given...if someone really wanted to, they could read all my posts...

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The inspiration for this thread is things I've shared in the "Are You Gay" thread (or whatever it's called)...if the person involved find out I was talking about him on a message board and questioning his sexuality, he'd not be happy about it, I'm sure... I almost was going to go back and erase some of what I wrote, but then I reread my first post and figured that it's not too revealing or whatever, but still...if someone lets you know that they have personal trust issues (and that's something I have to, in a different capacity), and then they would read someone personal you posted that deals with them, that could totally ruin your friendship. So, I was just wondering what the general consensus is here at UD about sharing personal info.

I actually don't mind being personal on this forum--moreso than any other forum I've been on. I guess where this forum feels like a community because I've been here so long, it doesn't scare me to give out personal information. Of course, I always feel the need to hide my full name, address, etc.

But I've noticed that most people don't like to read others' personal problems. The few times I've gone off on a tangent about my personal life, the thread either dies or noone replies. Sometimes I wish I could share more on UD. It's really the only outlet I have where I feel like I can talk about things. Usually, it's just reserved to my interests (Disney, movies, shows, etc.), but it's too bad there isn't really a personal life thread where we could vent and relate to one another.

I think the gay thread is the only place where you can talk about your personal life without the thread dying. But the title of the thread kind of deters other people who might have personal issues, too.

I think if anyone on this bored knew me in real life they would agree that I'm exactly the same as I am here. If anything, there's more swears IRL.

For me, it's about half-and-half on what I say about my personal life versus what I keep off the forums. When I was doing the college program, I'd often share stories of what happened. But whenever I'm home in Jersey, I rarely (if ever) reveal things about my personal life. My siblings are known only by their UD names, I don't think I've ever referred to them by their real names (though if you know where too look, you'll likely find them).

As a former reviewer for the site, my first and last name is already known, so I can't really help that. At the time, I had the option of either having my byline be "Escapay" or my real name, and I opted for my real name as a way to be taken more seriously on the forum (I was a really goofy guy back then). Plus, I had already mentioned my first name on the forum, so I figured I might as well continue with my last name. Occasionally I still use it here (usually at the end of Secret Santa letters), but generally shy away from it, even though it's out there anyway. Besides, a google search for my name brings up other people who aren't me. A google search of my name + Disney brings up a couple UD links featuring me, and my name + Escapay brings up my twitter (I made one simply to take the name "Escapay" before anyone else did, but I never use it). My myspace and facebook are private, though I am friends with a fair amount of UDers on facebook.

albert

Well, I share certain pieces of background information. Mostly things in my personality. Just to give other people in a discussion a better idea of who I am if they want to know why you might feel the way you do or what makes you tick. Like- age, state you live in, economic background, jobs, what your parents were like and what they did for a living. Did you grow up a spoiled brat - that kind of thing. I'll tell people almost anything, but am not comfortable with sharing real name, exact location, etc. I don't even have a picture of myself. The last person who took one (it was at Christmas), I deleted it from their camera. And that has almost nothing to do with anything online.

For personal reasons, I have a fancy pseudonym attached to my handle and keep my real name separate from it. In fact, the only place online that I use my real name these days is facebook, but I only friend people I know in RL on there (mostly family and hometown friends, as it's the easiest way to stay in contact with them).

In my early days here at UD, well, many of you know I was under a different handle, and some of you might remember my real first name. I'm still the same person of course, and possibly spilled too much personal info at the time (I probably do even now, lol), but I was making the most of being in a very bad situation and the online world was a much-needed escape back then.

I think we sometimes need a place to talk about personal problems in a somewhat anonymous form, and online forums can be a perfect place for that. I've often worried about detailing my personal life though; not only for the sake of privacy, but over the possibility of looking like the idiot I've often felt like or that I might be boring people to tears.

It's probably no surprise that I'm very shy in RL, not to mention extremely sensitive. While I'm not much of a writer it's much easier for me to communicate my thoughts and feelings by typing them out rather than speaking. In fact I think it can be easier to get to know people on a more intimate level due to the stripped-down form of communication offered by the online world, but at the same time it enables people to be phony and manipulative (although you could say the same applies to RL regardless). I try not to be cynical as I've experienced both extremes when it comes to online friendships, so I tend to stay away from drama these days except for the rare occasion I see something worth standing up for.

It's a good thing we have these:

I don't usually like to give away too much personal information in this virtual world. Anyone can find me if he or she looks hard enough. Of course, I don't usually give away too much of my personal information in real life, either. I only really like to talk to people who I have know for quite some time (that's why it's a bit difficult for me to make friends). I don't mind discussing problems as long as I know that someone will actually help me. I don't really like sharing my problems that often, though because I usually feel like I'd be a burden to someone. I don't like putting my problems on someone else. I try not to reveal myself online, though. If you look hard enough you can find a picture of me and my cat in the "Post A Picture of Yourself" thread. And I've used my name before a few times, but no one seems to remember it (which is fine by me; I like being called Sequel or T-SoD). I use my real name for Facebook, and that's about it (of course, it is also in a review as a special thanks). Though I do feel kind of "safe" because I've been on here for nearly five years, but I'm still reluctant to share everything.

I have spilt the beans on my real life before on UD. Not much (in fact, relatively little), but most of it comes from a gut feeling or desire for advice and/or boredom. Most of the stuff that I've posted about my real life are pretty trivial, though (vacations, not-too-serious social advice, a few silly photos in the "Post a Picture" thread, career and academic plans etc); I also tend to think about what the potential consequences of sharing it may be, even if I am bursting with raw emotion and want to shout out to the world how I feel. I understand that there is a sense of confidentiality and double identity on any forum, which has both its pros and cons; I have never met any forum member (or at least regular) in real life so I wouldn't be treading on anybody's toes, but at the same time, I'd be dishing my dirt in a public space on with some form of identity (even if it's just a forum username).

I've also come to shy away from using my real name (full name that is). I used to be cool about displaying it (I wrote a review for the site ages ago and it had my name on it), but I kinda have gone against it, mostly due to anything remotely personal I write on this site having some connection to the real me. I also don't think I show my e-mail address any more.

im comfortable with revealing information here. my parents, not so much. if any of u knew me in real life, im the quiet-sometimes tense- guy who doesn't go out a lot.

The fact that most of you are so cautious about revealing your real names makes me feel a bit guilty for making mine plainly visible from day one. I wouldn't say I've said too much about myself, but that is only because I've never actually engaged in long writings of personal experiences rather than because I really mind.

I think I always kept my real name because I want you people to realise that I'm an existing flesh and blood person and not a ghostly internet persona. In fact, I frequently remind myself that you people exist, as well. I might be at college and wonder what Amy or Albert or Pedro are doing at that very moment. If it's early in the morning I decide that they're likely still asleep, since I'm 6 hours ahead (time zone-wise).

I've also made some of my emotions regarding other forum members quite clear in the past. To this day, I still feel genuinely annoyed and somewhat depressed that my chances of meeting you guys are virtually nil.

In moments of idiocy and emotional stimulation (and that I regret) I even sent pms to xxphlinkxx, telling him (well-intentioned) stuff which I think made him revile me. In retrospect, such honest feelings would be something I would now avoid telling in fear of weirding out a fellow members.

To complement what Brendon said, I too am pretty much the same as I am here in real life. Think of me the way I was a couple of years ago when I used to write here regularly and make goofy Portrait Series avatars and post huge pics of almost naked Disney villianesses. I'm that kind of person.

We'd probably get along, you and me.

im pretty sure ive said my real name once or twice, but not often.

In the past, I've been open about some problems in my life, like the incident with my friends and my sister living with us. Recently, though, I decided to never do this sort of thing because of two reasons. First is that nearly all of my friends and family are online, and I am afraid that if I say something they might read it then be upset at me. Half of them don't speak English but a great deal of them do and can easily move the news around. So because of that, I tend to keep many things to myself.

The second reason is because I have this odd thing about venting and ranting about my life. You see, in my younger days I believed I abused the trust of my friends to the point where I would run to them whenever I was angry or upset, and it made me look like a whiny bitch that couldn't handle his problems head on. It got bad to the point where a "friend" of mine pretty much labeled me as a severe head case.

So in fear of bothering others with my problems I decided to keep them to myself and deal with them...

This isn't as easy as it sounds, simply because I am the type of guy that expresses his emotions LOUDLY. In other words, I have to express my emotions or else I am going to explode. There are some things that frustrate me and I can't exactly tell people about it. My mother has this strict rule about never arguing or fighting in the house, meaning that genuinely annoying things are handled in a very, very, VERY awkward manner. On top of this my dad has an extremely short temper and you can't confront him about anything without him exploding into extreme anger (I am not kidding...a few days ago he was trying to tell me to look for something, but he was too angry to make himself heard clearly, so when I got confused he nearly chewed my head off. He apologized, but can you imagine trying to hold your feelings when you are treated like that? :\ ).

So I find it very hard to just vent my anger and frustration because I am in an environment that has banned it. I admit that this has helped me gained more patience, but at the same time when I really need someone to just talk to about my feelings it can get really frustrating.

See my problem? I can't talk to my parents about my own issues because they rather not talk about it and can't handle it very well, and I am afraid of expressing myself to others in fears of alienating and abusing them.

Ay ay ay...

Everything I want to tell about myself, I already posted in the thread 'Tell a little about yourself' --or something to that extent. It's not much, but I'm a private person. I don't tell much about myself anymore. I used to do so on other forums where I was a regular member, but I don't do that anymore.