DVDizzy Forum

This is a subject that appeared in a Facebook conversation that I really wanted to discuss, but didn't really want to overload her Facebook page with it (and a cynic b*tch is not helping things either).

Here's the issue. Today was her son's High School graduation. While she is extremely happy of her son's achievements she laments the fact that most of the focus was laid on the students with the highest academic achievements (as in, honor roll students, students with the highest GPA average possible etc.). In other words, all the medals, awards, trophies etc. were given to those kids, while kids whose excellence lies in other fields (like volunteering, clubs and such) were somewhat ignored.

The funny thing is that I both agree AND disagree with her notion. I can understand that to a parent seeing his or her child receive the highest honor possible is cause for great celebration and pride, because they played a major role in his or her growth. But I feel as if she is taking it way too much to heart, almost as if her son not receiving any recognition looks poor on her behalf. She talks about a great son she has, but focuses too much on medals and recognition.

To this I told her that she shouldn't focus too much on this because the truth is that awards mean nothing in the long run if the kid doesn't continue his achievements in the real world. In other words, you can have kids that are very talented in school but dead beat losers outside of it. Whereas some students that aren't great in terms of academics end up becoming great, talented, influential people.

The secret lies in how much that kid is willing to put the effort into his or her talents. The truth (to me at least) is that awards are given mainly because you scored the highest in a test or class. It doesn't evaluate how smart you really are in the long run. If award committees would evaluate students based on PERFORMANCE and TALENT, only a few would be given the award.

So I find it kind of ironic how she thinks the schools are focused too much on rewarding kids when she feels as she her son wasn't rewarded enough, turning this into an issue I hate: parents who use their kids to boost their own egos.

But on the other hand, I can see what she is talking about. I feel as if schools are rewarding academic excellence too much and not rewarding other areas. This is mainly because schools want to flaunt the fact that they have the most "talented" students and thus be given recognition. I think acknowledging these other kids would help their confidence and push on with their area of expertise.

Still, one thing my mother told me is that awards should be given to the kids that deserve it. As Mr. Incredible said once, saying that everyone is special its saying that no one really is. So, I think students need to realize who they are and what their talents are.

Like I said, having an award doesn't determine your real qualities.

So, what do you guys think? Should so much emphasis be put on Academic Excellence through awards or should there be a balance and acknowledge everyone else? Is my friend just a loving mother or being too prideful?

This is a very interesting topic (especially considering that I will have my own high school graduation tomorrow afternoon). I won't be receiving any awards even though I'm in the top 10% of my graduating class (which I find impressive). Sometimes, I think it depends on whether or not the focus should be on the more "decorated" students. I actually think that the top 25 students are rather deserving of that "lable" because they worked really hard for it (except for two students who have been attending college and haven't actually attended my high school for two or three years - which confuses me, a lot). But anyway, I think it's great that the higher GPAed students are recognized. It's not like other students who excell in other aspects should not be recognized, but it would just seem odd (to me) to announce the other achievements that aren't based solely on academics. I mean excellence in volunteering (an example you gave)? I'm sure it's important, but every senior has to complete a certain amount of community service in order to graduate. And if some students go beyond that certain amount (heck, I did) that's good for them. But the school, I believe, doesn't really care. But if the student is deemed academically superior, I think the parents should lay off and accept the fact that even though they believe that their student is intelligent he or she might actually not be. Again, I think it's a bummer that I'm not wearing a 3.5 GPA stole, I'm okay with it. I mean, I know that I'm smarter than 90% of my class and it would be great to show everyone, but it's not like I can't just tell the people if they ask. I don't feel bad about it. I think I've kinda rambled on and I haven't proofread this and it probably doesn't make much sense, but I think this lady should back off. She can brag about her kid's other skills if she wants to. Let the "smarter" people show off because I really do believe that they deserve it. They've worked hard for it (not like her child did not) and their academic record proves it. I mean, I don't know anything about this person, but if they wanted to wear a stole or be recognized or whatever, maybe he or she should've worked harder (and I know that's a completely different area) to achieve what he or she wants. I mean, I tried really hard to keep a 3.5 because I'm happy with that. If I wanted a higher GPA I would've taken easier classes (of course, then I wouldn't be true to myself because I would never take an easier class unless I felt really really uncomfortable with the subject - like physics, which, in short, was terrible. I had a terribly terrible teacher who did not teach AT ALL). I'm proud of what I achieved and I'm glad that those who have achieved a higher GPA get to show off. Wow, I definitely rambled and I'm pretty sure that I have never ever responded at such lengths as this (I'm very proud of myself). And if something doesn't make sense, I'm sorry (I'm not good with multitasking: I'm watching TV, listening to music and typing this). I hope I answered the question...

If your friend wants her son recognized, pap, ask her how she'd like to sit in on a graduation ceremony that takes 16 hours. It seems to her the only good solution is to recognize each and every student regardless if they did squat or if they do everything.

And happy graduation, T-SoD!

albert

Congratulations TSOD for your graduation!

I agree with what you say, though. Not every thing should be recognized because then ANOTHER set of issues rise up. Like I said earlier, claiming that everyone is special is saying no one is. I also agree that if a parent or student wants to be part of the honor roll they should really start working on it, and admit when the student can't be an all-star achiever.

Escapay: Haha, I SHOULD have said that! Like "Well, how do you feel about a 16 hour ceremony? It would be tiring as all hell, but hey, EVERYONE'S RECOGNIZED!"

I think what bothers me the most is the thought of doing something ONLY for the recognition and prestige. Like "If I do this I WILL GET AN AWARD!", rather than doing it for the passion. I've never done anything in my life to get awarded for. I do it because I want it, and if I do my best is because I really enjoy what I do.

I've participated in short story contests locally, I've passed my teaching certificate exams on my first try, I am both a cum laude and a magna cum laude, I was recognized by the university I enrolled in years ago, the city recognized my efforts, my parents claimed that I made them proud, teachers tell me that I am a genius in many regards and that I have talent. All of this I've gained NOT because I really, really wanted to. I did it because I thought it was the right thing to do, had a chilled attitude and moved on.

In fact, I've noticed that the more I try to be perfect, over achieve and impress people, the more I fail. My practical was a disaster because I wanted everything to be perfect. But when I switched to my normal personality I got a perfect score!

That's what I am sensing in my friend's claims: she wants her son to be recognized because its likely she taught him to do all these great things for the recognition and fame, NOT to learn from them. And its why I decided to bring this discussion here.

Oh and another thing... Isn't it BETTER when your good efforts AREN'T recognized? I mean if you really want people to know about what you did isn't that falling under the sin of vanity?

Regarding that cynical b*tch, the reason I brought her up is because her response is "Yeah life is unfair"...

Yes, out of all the reasons to claim that life is unfair (racism, poverty, hunger, greed, violence, natural disasters, corruption in politics, piracy, Dreamworks, videogames, reality TV, Paris Hilton, Kesha, Shrek, swine flu, cancer, dolphin massacres etc. etc.) her reason is that some school didn't give a kid a medal...

Yeah...

Life sucks.

I can see both sides of this.

Certainly getting the highest GPA in one's class and things of that sort are worthy of recognition and praise. But should there only be awards given for high academics? Naturally is wouldn't be reasonable to give an award at the ceremony to each student due to time. Perhaps they could add variety to the awards. One thing my school did prior to the graduation ceremony was to give out "Silly Awards" which was basically that. They were fun awards given out to random students by other students or teachers. That was one interesting way of adding variety to the awards and praising other achievements. I happened to win one of those myself.

I certainly understand where she and her son may be coming from. If the only awards given were based on the highest academic achievements of the class, I could see one thinking "What about me?" As big as those achievements are, I feel the awards at the ceremony shouldn't be limited to that type of achievement.

I know people who worked as hard as they could and got C's in their classes. I couldn't be more proud of them seeing they worked as hard as they could to get those grades. I feel those people who were went above and beyond in their effort should get praised. I know some people who got straight A's without even trying as academics came easy to them.

I also know people who played the system and got straight A's in easy classes which put themselves in the top 25% giving them free college via the NJ Stars program while I took AP classes and had B's in them and as a result wasn't in the top 25% and thus didn't get the free college. Talk about life being unfair?!

We can sum this all up by saying "Life is unfair" but we can say that about anything. If that was our answer for all of life's problems nothing would get solved.

@TSOD: Congrats on Graduating!

Oh and I know how you feel about Physics. I just finished my second and last semester of Physics with Calculus in college and I disliked it with a passion. My teacher couldn't teach either. What's worse, his tests wouldn't even match what he taught?!