DVDizzy Forum

This little game I had in my mind was inspired by pap64's post in the Princess and the Frog thread that had me thinking. With knowing how on some forums the comments can get so radical and nitpicky, I got to wondering, what would be people's complaints on a Disney forum be if a Disney classic film was in production. As if imagining Snow White or some other Disney film was being produced today, and Disney fans on the internet were discussing them, just to poke a bit of good fun about the whole insanity sometimes of Disney forums. I'll get the ball rolling.

(on Pinocchio) "Gepetto is too stereotypical Italian! This film sounds interesting, but the footage we've seen on his character, it just screams like a poor Italian stereotype. And Stromboli isn't looking too good either with his ridiculous broken English. Disney please change this!"

"They didn't get Micheal Jackson to write a song for The Great Mouse Detective? That was genius Eisner! Ron and John suck, they couldn't make a decent film even if they were given a good budget. This film will suck now."

“OMG, Snow White’s too fat to be a Disney princess! Too chubby. And look at that hair! What the hell, Disney? Disney Princesses are not UGLY!!!!!!!”

Disney's Divinity wrote:“OMG, Snow White’s too fat to be a Disney princess! Too chubby. And look at that hair! What the hell, Disney? Disney Princesses are not UGLY!!!!!!!”

Well, they wouldn't really have had anything to compare what a Disney Princess should look like, she was the first one.

xxhplinkxx wrote:

Disney's Divinity wrote:“OMG, Snow White’s too fat to be a Disney princess! Too chubby. And look at that hair! What the hell, Disney? Disney Princesses are not UGLY!!!!!!!”

Well, they wouldn't really have had anything to compare what a Disney Princess should look like, she was the first one.

What if she wasn't the first one? What if Ariel was the first Disney Princess?

OMG, they're having her be half-naked in a scene!? I don't care if it's off screen, Disney had better change that, or I'm not taking my kids to see it!

Bambi looks gay.

"Pinocchio's too stupid!"

Well, it's not a Classic, but...

The Little Mermaid II promotes teenage pregnancy!

Magic, sorcery...Hell?

Hell no, I won't take my kids to see "Sleeping Beauty" with all that!

I REFUSE to take my three year old children to see The Little Mermaid! The priest's knee is misplaced, resembling an erection. My children obviously know what an erection is, and thus will be scarred for life!

Ah very clever PrincePhillip, this thread caught my attention, let's see if I got the hang of it... bare with me folks.

Why don't make all the Disney kids orphans, since they obivously were neglected after birth.

Dear Concerned Parents of America,

I have just returned from the cinema where I was granted a special preview of what can be possibly the worst film to come out of Walt Disney Studios since that cross-dressing Chink called Mulan. I simply could not believe how offensive this film was and urge you all to avoid it at all costs. It was an insult to my intelligence and to the intelligence of all respectable parents everywhere. I am talking about a movie entitled Lilo & Stitch.

First off, there are no parental units in this film. It's a broken family, something we are against! Two sisters cannot live together without a mother and a father, how dare Disney even suggest that they could, even in a movie! Now, we all have our beef against Disney because they never show a loving two-parent family in their films (or if they do, like Sleeping Beauty, the parents don't spend time with their children!). But this is just outrageous!

In addition, there are aliens! Ugly aliens! They are in essence, different from us! And if they're different, they're bad! One of them even enjoys dressing in clothes of the opposite sex! And he has a high squeaky voice! He must be Disney's subtle way of putting those bad-bad ideas of homosexualism in our children's heads. First they'll be wearing your dresses, then they'll be tucking their willies between their legs, and before you know it, Junior is going to the prom with a teammate from his football team (and we all know how that horrid sport is really a way for boys to get their homosexual tendancies out while they're young!).

But the worst part of all is that this story even dares to suggest that there are other people in the world who are...prepare yourself...NOT WHITE! And not only are they non-white, but they have curves! They actually have an ass and know how to use it! These people are, to use a word frequently said in the film, an ABOMINATION to our way of life! How dare Disney even think to represent such minorities! They should have stuck to their European fairy tales we've come to know and love!

I for one will no longer take my child to their theme parks (which are run by fairies and queens anyway) or buy them Disney products unless it came during the 1930s to 1950s, when we had good clean acceptable material such as subservient Sunflower in Fantasia and that delightful film Song of the South. Nothing says good family fun like a Negro knowing his place.

Sincerely,
KKKWASPMom57

"Urgh, the animation in The Little Mermaid looks so bitty! Like when Ariel smiles and kisses Sebastian on the beach, she, you know, like moves too much! Seriously, I really, like, think this movie is gonna be bad."

This was a parody of certain people's comments...and not just on The Princess and the Frog...on Enchanted, Home on the Range, Rapunzel...you name it.

Yay! I'm glad to see others have joined into this.

"Cinderella is too weak! She needs to be superproactive and go all Rambo on Lady Tremaine and her stepsisters! That'll make her more independent and feminist!"

I cannot believe that Disney is making a film out of a stupid story like Beauty and the Beast. I mean if you've ever even read the original, it's very boring. They mostly sit around and talk about the day, how will that translate into a good Disney film? Above all that why would a perfectly normal pretty girl fall in love with a monster? I really don't know anyone who would choose a Beast as a lover, well aside from some and I don't think the children in the world need that as a role model. Now I have heard some rumors that they are going to tweak around with the story a bit and make the lead girl (Bell (sp?) is what they are calling her i think) a bit more like Ariel, which is another waste of time, than some of the older princesses.... WTF is up with that!?!?! A woman's place is in the kitchen making me a sandwich while i watch football with my bro's and talk about other women i'd like to... well, you know. Seriously though, Disney needs a priority re-adjustment.

OMG! How dare Cinderella leave the kitchen to rule a country! She should make the Prince a sandwhich while he watches hunting matches, not rule as that proclamation stated in that screencap I saw!

And how dare Snow White live happily ever after as a princess who doesn't cook or clean! And how dare she use cooking and cleaning as a way to live in the dwarf's house, like she's getting paid for work or something!

And how dare animals or magic help women do housework when they should do it all themselves as the serving women they are!

Escapay wrote:How dare Disney even think to represent such minorities!

Huh. Some people were saying gay was a minority and shouldn't be represented in Disney films, cause they're so small and all...in this thread...

Escapay wrote:Sincerely,
KKKWASPMom57

OMG! Hilarous.

OMG. Is that a penis on the cover?!

WHAT THE HELL!!!!!! Sleeping Beauty looks like a flat, vertical mess! What was Walt thinking when he hired that amateur Eyvind Earle?! This looks nothing like classic Disney but just a stupid Saturday morning cartoon! This is gonna suck for sure!!!!!!!!!

WTF!? Beauty And The Beast looks too cheap, like a Saturday morning cartoon!

Does Ariel's carpet match the drapes? And what's with Triton - serious anger management issues obviously stemming from steroid abuse...