My Disney Draft
Posted: Tue Mar 11, 2008 8:07 pm
I am currently in the process of making a story board draft for the story of Rumpelstiltskin, and am hoping to send it to Disney to ask for their opinion of it. I currently have summarized half of it in text, so if anyone wants to read or critique it, please do. I will try to scan some of my concept art when I have the chance. Note: I have no talent of writing songs, so that will be up to Disney.
Rumpelstiltskin
Disney Draft 1
Adapted from the Brother’s Grimm fairy tale of the same name by Travis Russell
First Scene
Setting: Castle Marketplace
Scene begins with vendors yelling out selling goods, screaming out prices and product names. All of a sudden, the castle gate opens, and the lone prince emerges, and a hush falls over the crowd. The prince continues riding, eyes staring at him for a few moments before the vendors begin screaming as normal. The prince breaks out in song, cursing his father for his lady troubles and how he dislikes his father and hates spoiled princesses. Near the end of the song, it begins focusing on a young girl, the same age as the prince. She is unloading a cart full of flour and wheat, and is a miller’s daughter. The prince rides over to her, and begins talking and introducing himself. The girl ignores and continues unpacking, but smashes into the prince by accident, and looks into his eyes. There is obvious chemistry, and the girl drops the flour and begins talking back to the prince. The pair begins walking, and the prince buys her a necklace from a vendor. The girl remembers that her father is probably worried, so she runs back to him prince in tow. As they run, the prince invites her to the castle for dinner. The pair arrives, and the father scolds her daughter for leaving him. The daughter asks him if she can go to the castle, and her father forbids it, not knowing who the prince is. The prince says goodbye, before the daughter whispers that she’ll meet him later at the castle. The scene ends with the girl watching the prince riding away, her father scolding her in the background.
Second Scene
Setting: Throne Room, Inside Castle
Shows king talking to his advisor, and advisor warns that the king is running out of riches and will soon have to step down or will be invaded. The two begin a song, the king sings about his former riches and his youth, while the advisor comes up with a plan: the prince marries a princess, and therefore will inherit all of the princess’s father’s riches. The king thinks this is a wonderful plan, and fully agrees. The prince then storms in, and the king demands to know where he was. The prince explains that he is about to meet a girl that night. The king forbids it, and gets his guards to lock him in his room so to prevent him from seeing the peasant girl. The scene ends with the king and advisor laughing about their plan and counting money.
Third Scene
Setting: Castle courtyard
The peasant girl is admitted to the courtyard, and goes to the arranged meeting place, but the prince never shows. The advisor comes out, and tells her the prince refuses to see her and sends her away. The girl runs out, crying, and the scene ends with the prince staring out his locked window watching the scene unfold before him, visibly upset.
Fourth Scene
Setting: Next morning, Courtyard
The king calls an emergency meeting for all suppliers of food for the king, and lines them up. He demands a price cut, as he can’t afford food in his current financial condition. The miller from the first scene is there, and he refuses to price cut, as he needs money as well. The king orders the guards to bring the miller to the dungeon, but as the miller is being dragged away, the miller offers him anything. At first, he offers the price cut, but the king says it’s too late. Then, he offers his home, but the king refuses. Lastly, he screams that his daughter can spin straw into gold from any normal spinning wheel. (Obviously a lie).The king’s eyes widen, and the king asks if he’s serious. He withdraws the guards, and tells the miller he has a deal. If the miller’s daughter can spin gold, he shall be set free. He still goes to the dungeons, however, until it is proven. The king calls for the daughter, and the scene ends with two guards riding into the forest in search for the miller’s daughter.
Fifth Scene
Setting: Miller’s home, inside forest
The girl is cleaning up the house with a broom, while she sings a happy working song trying to cheer her up. She is still visibly upset about it, and after the song falls on a chair and cries. The guards then bust in the door, and demand to know if she is the miller’s daughter. She answers yes, and they put her on the horse and tell her that it’s a matter of her father being locked up in the dungeon. She hastily gets on one of the horses, and they ride towards the castle. They arrive, and she is promptly thrown into a cell full of hay. The advisor then enters the room, and she recognizes him from last night. She gets up to attack him, but she is thrown against the hay. The advisor explains that she is to make the hay into gold, and leaves before she can protest. The scene darkens with her crying upon the hay.
Sixth Scene
Setting: Prison Cell
The girl is asleep, but woken up by some strange singing noises that are coming closer to the door. She gets ready to throw the spinning wheel at the intruder, but a small dwarf like creature enters the room. She is startled, and the dwarf creature tells her he heard crying, and asks what the matter is. She explains to him that the king expects her to turn this hay into gold, or else her father shall be imprisoned. The dwarf creature explains that he can turn the hay into gold, but for a price. The girl offers the dwarf the prince’s necklace, and the dwarf accepts. The dwarf begins his work, and the girl falls asleep.
Seventh Scene
Setting: Prison Cell, Next morning
The girl is awoken by yelling of the king. The king is so thrilled by the gold, and releases the miller at once. The miller runs to his daughter and hugs her, and asks for a moment alone with her. The king kindly accepts, and the two talk. The miller exclaims that it’s a miracle, but the girl explains about the dwarf. The miller warns her about black magic and is scared. The scene switches to outside the prison, and the king and advisor are talking. The advisor manages to convince the king to make the girl make more gold. The king enters the room, and tells the miller to leave, and go home. When he asks about his daughter, the guards escort him away and the king tells the girl to make more gold, and this time her imprisonment is on the line. More hay is brought into the room, and the king and advisor leave the girl to wait for the dwarf creature once again.
Rumpelstiltskin
Disney Draft 1
Adapted from the Brother’s Grimm fairy tale of the same name by Travis Russell
First Scene
Setting: Castle Marketplace
Scene begins with vendors yelling out selling goods, screaming out prices and product names. All of a sudden, the castle gate opens, and the lone prince emerges, and a hush falls over the crowd. The prince continues riding, eyes staring at him for a few moments before the vendors begin screaming as normal. The prince breaks out in song, cursing his father for his lady troubles and how he dislikes his father and hates spoiled princesses. Near the end of the song, it begins focusing on a young girl, the same age as the prince. She is unloading a cart full of flour and wheat, and is a miller’s daughter. The prince rides over to her, and begins talking and introducing himself. The girl ignores and continues unpacking, but smashes into the prince by accident, and looks into his eyes. There is obvious chemistry, and the girl drops the flour and begins talking back to the prince. The pair begins walking, and the prince buys her a necklace from a vendor. The girl remembers that her father is probably worried, so she runs back to him prince in tow. As they run, the prince invites her to the castle for dinner. The pair arrives, and the father scolds her daughter for leaving him. The daughter asks him if she can go to the castle, and her father forbids it, not knowing who the prince is. The prince says goodbye, before the daughter whispers that she’ll meet him later at the castle. The scene ends with the girl watching the prince riding away, her father scolding her in the background.
Second Scene
Setting: Throne Room, Inside Castle
Shows king talking to his advisor, and advisor warns that the king is running out of riches and will soon have to step down or will be invaded. The two begin a song, the king sings about his former riches and his youth, while the advisor comes up with a plan: the prince marries a princess, and therefore will inherit all of the princess’s father’s riches. The king thinks this is a wonderful plan, and fully agrees. The prince then storms in, and the king demands to know where he was. The prince explains that he is about to meet a girl that night. The king forbids it, and gets his guards to lock him in his room so to prevent him from seeing the peasant girl. The scene ends with the king and advisor laughing about their plan and counting money.
Third Scene
Setting: Castle courtyard
The peasant girl is admitted to the courtyard, and goes to the arranged meeting place, but the prince never shows. The advisor comes out, and tells her the prince refuses to see her and sends her away. The girl runs out, crying, and the scene ends with the prince staring out his locked window watching the scene unfold before him, visibly upset.
Fourth Scene
Setting: Next morning, Courtyard
The king calls an emergency meeting for all suppliers of food for the king, and lines them up. He demands a price cut, as he can’t afford food in his current financial condition. The miller from the first scene is there, and he refuses to price cut, as he needs money as well. The king orders the guards to bring the miller to the dungeon, but as the miller is being dragged away, the miller offers him anything. At first, he offers the price cut, but the king says it’s too late. Then, he offers his home, but the king refuses. Lastly, he screams that his daughter can spin straw into gold from any normal spinning wheel. (Obviously a lie).The king’s eyes widen, and the king asks if he’s serious. He withdraws the guards, and tells the miller he has a deal. If the miller’s daughter can spin gold, he shall be set free. He still goes to the dungeons, however, until it is proven. The king calls for the daughter, and the scene ends with two guards riding into the forest in search for the miller’s daughter.
Fifth Scene
Setting: Miller’s home, inside forest
The girl is cleaning up the house with a broom, while she sings a happy working song trying to cheer her up. She is still visibly upset about it, and after the song falls on a chair and cries. The guards then bust in the door, and demand to know if she is the miller’s daughter. She answers yes, and they put her on the horse and tell her that it’s a matter of her father being locked up in the dungeon. She hastily gets on one of the horses, and they ride towards the castle. They arrive, and she is promptly thrown into a cell full of hay. The advisor then enters the room, and she recognizes him from last night. She gets up to attack him, but she is thrown against the hay. The advisor explains that she is to make the hay into gold, and leaves before she can protest. The scene darkens with her crying upon the hay.
Sixth Scene
Setting: Prison Cell
The girl is asleep, but woken up by some strange singing noises that are coming closer to the door. She gets ready to throw the spinning wheel at the intruder, but a small dwarf like creature enters the room. She is startled, and the dwarf creature tells her he heard crying, and asks what the matter is. She explains to him that the king expects her to turn this hay into gold, or else her father shall be imprisoned. The dwarf creature explains that he can turn the hay into gold, but for a price. The girl offers the dwarf the prince’s necklace, and the dwarf accepts. The dwarf begins his work, and the girl falls asleep.
Seventh Scene
Setting: Prison Cell, Next morning
The girl is awoken by yelling of the king. The king is so thrilled by the gold, and releases the miller at once. The miller runs to his daughter and hugs her, and asks for a moment alone with her. The king kindly accepts, and the two talk. The miller exclaims that it’s a miracle, but the girl explains about the dwarf. The miller warns her about black magic and is scared. The scene switches to outside the prison, and the king and advisor are talking. The advisor manages to convince the king to make the girl make more gold. The king enters the room, and tells the miller to leave, and go home. When he asks about his daughter, the guards escort him away and the king tells the girl to make more gold, and this time her imprisonment is on the line. More hay is brought into the room, and the king and advisor leave the girl to wait for the dwarf creature once again.
