DVDizzy Forum

Thanks so much, you guys- I really appreciate your support! I'm going to preface this by saying yesterday I drove to urgent care to try to get tested for Corona but they only do it first thing in the morning; lining up starts at 5:30... My husband didn't think I had to go, said I'm a hypochondriac. But Thurs and Fri my breathing wasn't good and I had a new cough and my non-surgery eye was watery but my nose wasn't affected so I figured maybe not allergies. One of my dogs woke me up at 5:52 this morning (it's 6:35 now). So I could have gotten ready to go to urgent care; I still might. I hope people waiting are social distancing.

My mom wanted me to stay with them for healing from surgery, but I have my 4 dogs I can't bring and I'm working from home so I'd have to disconnect the work computer and 2 monitors and everything, and if I have Corona and gave it to my parents, I would be beside myself.

Rose, I really like your Zoom idea with the sis-in-law! They were supposed to go to the in-laws at noon but they didn't go until 7:50pm. So me not feeling good plus I already started getting ready for bed was a no-way, Jose. The 5 of us are supposed to go to a springs today, said my husband yesterday afternoon... at first I thought the whole fam was going, but no. Maybe I'll get ready and try to go to urgent care now... he wants me there to help watch the kids; I don't feel comfortable being in a car with others #socialdistance

Oh, my husband did put time restrictions on the Internet on the kids' tablet/phone and the living room TV, and he said he'd force them to go to bed and wake up early. I slept great last night.

It was weird because he said I'm a hypochondriac but then said something like what if you give my kids Corona? I said I didn't choose for them to travel during a pandemic.

JeanGrey, that's a great way to think about the job being gone- thank you!

Oh, DD, I wish it were up to me if they went or not.

I don't want to turn this into a Amy bashes her husband thread, because most of the time things are okay with us, but even last evening, a Biden commercial came on YouTube and he said Biden supporters are ___ (I don't remember what, supporting a something). He's not a Trump supporter but he's an Independent and listens to the Joe Rogen podcast...JeanGrey, I know you know the type since we've talked in the SW threads. Sigh, what has this country come to?! (I didn't even mention how awful hub's dad and brother are. So I don't mind not seeing them.)

Thanks for being my therapists, you guys! I have a therapist I haven't gone to in a couple years. IDK if she's doing Zoom during Corona or if she's still there, but it's $60 a pop and money is super tight right now. I think you guys are the best- not just for helping me out- so I'm grateful!!

*edit* 7:25am, just got to urgent care, and the (socially distanced) line is around the building. Hopefully when they open they'll let us know how many tests they can do so we don't wait all day and not get tested. I should have gotten dressed right when I woke up. And I should have grabbed my sunglasses because my eye is super sensitive. I'm a mess.

*edit* 7:55am, they took down my info and will call in 3-4 hours for me to come back to be tested.

*edit, 8:18am, Thanks for going on this journey with me; call me Tour Guide Barbie. Minor thing, but at this point hopefully we can laugh at the small stuff. I got home from the clinic, started taking my eye drops. I see 3 jars of peanut butter out...2 being my dogs' peanut butter (I quadruple-dip the spoon for their medicine, so they're marked "dogs;" one's pretty much empty). Then my clearly-marked "no gluten" on (so hubs won't double-dip and leave gluten crumbs). Um, were the kids making sandwiches out of these? My no gluten jelly probably was tampered with too. Oh goodness.

*edit* 8:36am, this article was I my email inbox, saying it can take many days to get the COVID test results back, but that some places do rapid testing. Fingers crossed that's what I'll be getting. If I do have it, my hubs and his kids should get tested, right? But how long does it take to catch it? If I'm negative, I need to call the doctor Monday since it could be asthma? IDK if she's seeing non-COVID patients. Or maybe it's allergies.(https://www.orlandosentinel.com/coronav ... story.html) (And you can pass COVID onto your pets, right?!)

http://imgur.com/a/Hc7yCRK

Ahhh, it all sounds so stressful, Amy!! I’m sorry you have to deal with all this right now!! Sending you a socially distanced hug.

Thank you <3 Socially distanced hug right back at ya! Still waiting for the clinic to call; I hope they wrote my # right!

*edit* 12:03, I called the clinic- my # was written down wrong! They have 1 person to call before me, and 2 people in the lobby...

*edit 2:39pm, Rapid test came back negative, but is only 50% accurate. I did the 2nd more accurate test; results in 10-14 days. I need to self isolate. The doctor said she's had lots of patients test negative on the rapid test then positive on the other... I asked about my parents, since my dad drove me to surgery; the nurse said I can tell them to watch for symptoms. I said my mom will freak out even if she thinks I have it. She said I can wait for the 2nd test to come back and if it's positive they should be tested. #Florida #2020

Well, I hope your second test comes back negative although considering it'll take 10-14 days, that means that even if you do have it, by the time you know for sure, it should be over anyway since it takes 14 days to recover. I hope your parents will be safe! They seem like very dear people. What has your husband's reaction been now that your doctor said you need to self isolate? And I'm glad that venting here to all of us helps you and it should certainly be cheaper than a therapist so that's also a plus!

I hope you don't mind my saying this because he's your husband and all, but he seems very inconsiderate. It's funny that he didn't think much of the Corona virus and also felt you were worrying too much about his family not wearing masks, but the second he thinks you might have it, he seems to almost blame you and suddenly he's concerned that his kids might catch it. I understand that often a spouse will put their children from a prior marriage before their new spouse and that can be fine, but it must be very disrespectful and hurtful to hear that he didn't care for your concerns about Corona but he now he cares when he feels like his children are at risk from you. He should be far more loving and kind to you especially when you seem to care very much for him. I don't know if this would help or hurt, but perhaps you should tell him that your online friends all feel that he is treating you poorly and hurting you and should really get a reality check about his priorities. Maybe if he heard it from other people, he'd realize that you are not at fault here.

Oh it's a shame you can't move in with your parents but that's for the best because you don't want them to get infected either. Especially since unlike your husband's family, they seem to actually recognize the dangers of Corona.

I'll be honest and say that in my experience, most people who claim to be Independents are often Trump voters in disguise. That was the case in the 2016 election with Hillary. Trump voters who were too embarrassed to admit they voted for him would instead lie and say they are Independents and voted third-party...which 99% of the time meant they voted for Trump. I knew some people in my liberal circle of friends who didn't want to admit that they voted for Trump, but they clearly didn't like Hillary either, so they would just say they voted Independent if they were asked who they voted for. That was always a clear sign to me to stay far away from these people. And I stay far away from YouTube and Facebook (I deactivated my account a while back) because they are infamous for political hate-mongering for the far-right.

I just must echo what JeanGreyForever said, Amy, and will pray that you and your family don't get Corona, and that if you do, you recover quick and nothing really bad happens.

I hope your second test comes back negative, Amy

Disney Duster wrote:will pray that you and your family don't get Corona, and that if you do, you recover quick and nothing really bad happens.

Thank you, DD! <3

First thing: Last night I almost felt bad for hubs for venting so much but then when I woke up at 3am because everyone (IDK if all 3 kids, but hubs + some kids) was up, being loud, I was like Nope, I don't feel bad. It's nothing I haven't said to his face. (I guess to be fair, the oldest didn't even wake up until 5pm...idk what it's like being a teenage boy; I remember my brother sleeping at weird times...)

JeanGreyForever wrote:I hope your second test comes back negative although considering it'll take 10-14 days, that means that even if you do have it, by the time you know for sure, it should be over anyway since it takes 14 days to recover.

Thank you I asked the Dr exactly that when deciding to take the 2nd test, but she said "Not necessarily," I think meaning that many people have it past 14 days. Mostly because of my parents (and having to cancel appointments), I took the 2nd test. Btw, for anyone reading interested in what the tests are like, the "rapid test" consists of 2 humongous QTips being pushed up your nose. Short but hurts. The 2nd test consisted of what looked like a tiny toilet cleaner brush or something on a really long wire, and that was shoved up even farther. Short but again, still hurt.

JeanGreyForever wrote: I hope your parents will be safe! They seem like very dear people. What has your husband's reaction been now that your doctor said you need to self isolate?

Thank you very much! He's still not concerned. He actually told me the night before (it was right before I went to bed and I forgot to mention it) that myself and my parents are the only ones he's concerned about getting it, so if I don't have it, he has no concerns.

JeanGreyForever wrote:I hope you don't mind my saying this because he's your husband and all, but he seems very inconsiderate.

I agree. Especially since people in his family had it. Boggles my mind.

JeanGreyForever wrote: the second he thinks you might have it, he seems to almost blame you and suddenly he's concerned that his kids might catch it. I understand that often a spouse will put their children from a prior marriage before their new spouse and that can be fine, but it must be very disrespectful and hurtful to hear that he didn't care for your concerns about Corona but he now he cares when he feels like his children are at risk from you.

He didn't say it like he was accusing me or anything, more like a general question. After going to the clinic in the AM, I was just in my room with the door closed, mask on, and hubs came in when he woke up and didn't think I needed the door closed. And then when I came back from testing, I had my mask on, but I had to do laundry (I spilled on my pants so I had put a load in even before he was awake, so it was my choice); he wanted to play board games, so he's not concerned about me getting his kids sick (even if it's not Corona, I'm sick with something?). I was starving so I ate at the card table while playing and when I was done I had my mask on.. He thinks only kids with compromised autoimmune systems get Covid...I don't want the kids to get sick, and while initially I told him I'll play when I'm done eating, so I wouldn't hold them up I ate at the table.. bad Amy.

JeanGreyForever wrote:He should be far more loving and kind to you especially when you seem to care very much for him. I don't know if this would help or hurt, but perhaps you should tell him that your online friends all feel that he is treating you poorly and hurting you and should really get a reality check about his priorities. Maybe if he heard it from other people, he'd realize that you are not at fault here.

Lol, I'm glad it comes through that I care because this has become a bash the hubs thread in my mind. If we have a discussion that warrants me bringing up that you guys are on my side, I sure will. But I don't want him finding the thread. Like I said, it's nothing I haven't said to his face, but still! And last night the 2 of us watched TV and he knew I had to lay down a certain way because of my eye...it was nice.

JeanGreyForever wrote:unlike your husband's family, they seem to actually recognize the dangers of Corona.

To my mom, health has always been Priority #1, so I can't even tell her I'm sick or was tested (except in 2 weeks if I'm negative) because she will freak out. The nurse said that's fine to do.

So, he's a registered Independent, because he doesn't lean too right but doesn't lean too left. He actually voted for Hillary. He doesn't like Trump. He didn't like Hillary, he doesn't like Joe. He liked Tulsi and Andrew. I'm a hardcore Democrat, and even he's told me that I'm not "too liberal," when actually I am! So I wonder if he has a vision of extremist people when he thinks of hardcore Democrats? Like, I don't march for rights or anything. (Not that marchers are extremist, but I don't do much except have my beliefs and vote.) But I do speak my mind; people at work know my political feelings. But his dad is a Christian Republican**, and I already don't like him much*, but last time I was over there he was talking about "a Liberal," like they should be slaughtered and I just had to sit there eating my ham. And a few years ago his brother and his gf moved here from across the country. They started staying with us, but we kicked them out (hubs was 100% on my side). Rule #1 was if my dog feels uncomfortable by her dog in any way, they need to find somewhere for their dog to go. Even after putting her in a kennel near the kitchen, my dog was terrified. It was my dog's house, and bro-in-law didn't take it well. Buddy, you knew the rule when you decided to stay with us; we didn't ask you to move without a job or home! One day I was on BuzzFeed and he was like "that Liberal site" in a hateful way. He said I smother my dog and I caused him to be fearful; Jerk, he's a rescue dog who has always been scared and I'm an amazing dog mom. And he called me the b-word and yelled at me...I blocked a lot out but we kicked him out. I said not tonight, but in the morning. Here's the kicker: they went to stay with the parents: they ended up putting a down payment on an apartment because they couldn't live with them either. (Dog issues and who knows what else.)

*One of the first times meeting him, he served Champagne (sp?) and kept refilling my glass, saying you can't get drunk on Champagne. Now, I can't fully blame him- I have a personal 3-drink limit for a reason, but I was trusting a father figure, and I was wrong to do so. He didn't touch me- nothing like that, but let's just say it wasn't a great night. And was this the night I met sis-in-law & their family? Yes, yes it was. And he just is pompous and seems fake. They've stopped drinking as heavily with us there- I haven't been there in a while; but when not drinking much, I do like my hubs' stepmom. But I mean, she has the same beliefs as her husband... But she's not ranting about the Liberals, ya know? She and I don't talk politics, but she did show off her Trump cup before and her fur coat before, and I'm just awkwardly like "OMG gross." But besides all that, they've always been hospitable, and just hanging out with stepmom and even bro-in-law's gf can be fun. The guys are most problematic.

**I never understood how actual Christians (not all! Just specific people with a specific mindset- my uncle is one [he's the outlier of my fam; none of us agree with him], I've known many others) feel like they must be Republicans...I've never talked to one about it, but it's one thing if you're just fiscally conservative, but people who practically worship Trump (before Trump I knew people with this mindset, though)...1. the Bible says not to worship false idols, 2. hello, so much hate! Again, not all Republicans, not all Christians, but you know exactly what type I mean. Jesus preached love, acceptance, right? Christian means follower of Christ, right? I don't get it, I never will.

That was a lot, but hopefully it paints some kind of picture. Hubs isn't a bad guy, just maybe in denial about the dangers of spreading diseases, whether I have Corona or a cold or a flu...(and that his family is worse...) Maybe I'm just an A-hole, but again, it's nothing that I wouldn't say to people's faces...

I'm sorry I haven't commented before, but I just wanted to say I read your posts the other day, bc85. I couldn't think what to say except that I'll keep you in my prayers.

As far as the politics thing, it's unfortunate because I live in the South, which will give you a pretty good indicator of what my family is like. My mother voted Trump (she voted for Obama, but she was with another man who got her brainwashed by FOX News the past few years), my sister's too lazy to vote but supported Trump, my father never votes, my grandfather who always voted Democrat didn't vote at all, so... My grandfather and mother, btw, love Bill Clinton. Hillary though was the most evil thing imaginable. Gee, what could the reason be? I've always been sort of detached from my family emotionally going back to when Bush, Jr. was running against John Kerry and that was the first time same-sex marriage was really heavily discussed nationally (I was in 9th grade at the time), but Trump took it to a whole other level. Still, as horrible as it is, I'd rather know what people really are, you know? Who I can trust in this world and who I can't. So Trump has been a great revealer of people, more than anything else has been. *shrug*

My father doesn't take the Coronavirus very seriously either... Which scares me not just for myself and their own sakes, but for my dog who's pretty old. The virus kills animals as well as people and I don't want anything to happen to her. I'm not sure what a "good death" is, but dying from Coronavirus sounds like a horrible way to go.

Thank you! <3 <3 Poor doggie. Try to keep her safe! <3 They say that if you have it, try to have someone else watch your pets, or at least social distance from them, which is so hard. That's another thing I'm concerned about, if I have it, because I have 4 senior dogs... DD, do you have political conversations with your family? How do those go?

My husband just said "Did you see that Trump finally wore a mask in public and his followers will probably all want to start wearing masks?!" And then he said when he was at his parents' house the other night that he told his dad "Stop watching Fox News!" and he said "I don't watch Fox News!" and then my hubs and his brothers were trying to talk their dad out of it, and his dad said Trump is the best president of all time.

Well, actually this forum has given me a lot of practice the past few years on how to better ignore and not to engage, and that's helped in other situations of my life. I try to never bring politics up around my sister or mother, simply because nobody's going to change their mind, so what's the point really. Better not to cast pearls before swine and all that. I find it easier to talk to my father than ever before, actually. I used to be closer to my mother growing up and distant with my father, and that's pretty much flipped on its head. He's always hated all politicians and thinks there's no point voting; I don't agree with that mentality, but it's much easier to talk freely around him at least.

blackcauldron85 wrote:
My husband just said "Did you see that Trump finally wore a mask in public and his followers will probably all want to start wearing masks?!"

Hopefully more of his supporters will wear masks now.

blackcauldron85 wrote:

Disney Duster wrote:will pray that you and your family don't get Corona, and that if you do, you recover quick and nothing really bad happens.

Thank you, DD! <3

First thing: Last night I almost felt bad for hubs for venting so much but then when I woke up at 3am because everyone (IDK if all 3 kids, but hubs + some kids) was up, being loud, I was like Nope, I don't feel bad. It's nothing I haven't said to his face. (I guess to be fair, the oldest didn't even wake up until 5pm...idk what it's like being a teenage boy; I remember my brother sleeping at weird times...)

JeanGreyForever wrote:I hope your second test comes back negative although considering it'll take 10-14 days, that means that even if you do have it, by the time you know for sure, it should be over anyway since it takes 14 days to recover.

Thank you I asked the Dr exactly that when deciding to take the 2nd test, but she said "Not necessarily," I think meaning that many people have it past 14 days. Mostly because of my parents (and having to cancel appointments), I took the 2nd test. Btw, for anyone reading interested in what the tests are like, the "rapid test" consists of 2 humongous QTips being pushed up your nose. Short but hurts. The 2nd test consisted of what looked like a tiny toilet cleaner brush or something on a really long wire, and that was shoved up even farther. Short but again, still hurt.

JeanGreyForever wrote: I hope your parents will be safe! They seem like very dear people. What has your husband's reaction been now that your doctor said you need to self isolate?

Thank you very much! He's still not concerned. He actually told me the night before (it was right before I went to bed and I forgot to mention it) that myself and my parents are the only ones he's concerned about getting it, so if I don't have it, he has no concerns.

JeanGreyForever wrote:I hope you don't mind my saying this because he's your husband and all, but he seems very inconsiderate.

I agree. Especially since people in his family had it. Boggles my mind.

JeanGreyForever wrote: the second he thinks you might have it, he seems to almost blame you and suddenly he's concerned that his kids might catch it. I understand that often a spouse will put their children from a prior marriage before their new spouse and that can be fine, but it must be very disrespectful and hurtful to hear that he didn't care for your concerns about Corona but he now he cares when he feels like his children are at risk from you.

He didn't say it like he was accusing me or anything, more like a general question. After going to the clinic in the AM, I was just in my room with the door closed, mask on, and hubs came in when he woke up and didn't think I needed the door closed. And then when I came back from testing, I had my mask on, but I had to do laundry (I spilled on my pants so I had put a load in even before he was awake, so it was my choice); he wanted to play board games, so he's not concerned about me getting his kids sick (even if it's not Corona, I'm sick with something?). I was starving so I ate at the card table while playing and when I was done I had my mask on.. He thinks only kids with compromised autoimmune systems get Covid...I don't want the kids to get sick, and while initially I told him I'll play when I'm done eating, so I wouldn't hold them up I ate at the table.. bad Amy.

JeanGreyForever wrote:He should be far more loving and kind to you especially when you seem to care very much for him. I don't know if this would help or hurt, but perhaps you should tell him that your online friends all feel that he is treating you poorly and hurting you and should really get a reality check about his priorities. Maybe if he heard it from other people, he'd realize that you are not at fault here.

Lol, I'm glad it comes through that I care because this has become a bash the hubs thread in my mind. If we have a discussion that warrants me bringing up that you guys are on my side, I sure will. But I don't want him finding the thread. Like I said, it's nothing I haven't said to his face, but still! And last night the 2 of us watched TV and he knew I had to lay down a certain way because of my eye...it was nice.

JeanGreyForever wrote:unlike your husband's family, they seem to actually recognize the dangers of Corona.

To my mom, health has always been Priority #1, so I can't even tell her I'm sick or was tested (except in 2 weeks if I'm negative) because she will freak out. The nurse said that's fine to do.

So, he's a registered Independent, because he doesn't lean too right but doesn't lean too left. He actually voted for Hillary. He doesn't like Trump. He didn't like Hillary, he doesn't like Joe. He liked Tulsi and Andrew. I'm a hardcore Democrat, and even he's told me that I'm not "too liberal," when actually I am! So I wonder if he has a vision of extremist people when he thinks of hardcore Democrats? Like, I don't march for rights or anything. (Not that marchers are extremist, but I don't do much except have my beliefs and vote.) But I do speak my mind; people at work know my political feelings. But his dad is a Christian Republican**, and I already don't like him much*, but last time I was over there he was talking about "a Liberal," like they should be slaughtered and I just had to sit there eating my ham. And a few years ago his brother and his gf moved here from across the country. They started staying with us, but we kicked them out (hubs was 100% on my side). Rule #1 was if my dog feels uncomfortable by her dog in any way, they need to find somewhere for their dog to go. Even after putting her in a kennel near the kitchen, my dog was terrified. It was my dog's house, and bro-in-law didn't take it well. Buddy, you knew the rule when you decided to stay with us; we didn't ask you to move without a job or home! One day I was on BuzzFeed and he was like "that Liberal site" in a hateful way. He said I smother my dog and I caused him to be fearful; Jerk, he's a rescue dog who has always been scared and I'm an amazing dog mom. And he called me the b-word and yelled at me...I blocked a lot out but we kicked him out. I said not tonight, but in the morning. Here's the kicker: they went to stay with the parents: they ended up putting a down payment on an apartment because they couldn't live with them either. (Dog issues and who knows what else.)

*One of the first times meeting him, he served Champagne (sp?) and kept refilling my glass, saying you can't get drunk on Champagne. Now, I can't fully blame him- I have a personal 3-drink limit for a reason, but I was trusting a father figure, and I was wrong to do so. He didn't touch me- nothing like that, but let's just say it wasn't a great night. And was this the night I met sis-in-law & their family? Yes, yes it was. And he just is pompous and seems fake. They've stopped drinking as heavily with us there- I haven't been there in a while; but when not drinking much, I do like my hubs' stepmom. But I mean, she has the same beliefs as her husband... But she's not ranting about the Liberals, ya know? She and I don't talk politics, but she did show off her Trump cup before and her fur coat before, and I'm just awkwardly like "OMG gross." But besides all that, they've always been hospitable, and just hanging out with stepmom and even bro-in-law's gf can be fun. The guys are most problematic.

**I never understood how actual Christians (not all! Just specific people with a specific mindset- my uncle is one [he's the outlier of my fam; none of us agree with him], I've known many others) feel like they must be Republicans...I've never talked to one about it, but it's one thing if you're just fiscally conservative, but people who practically worship Trump (before Trump I knew people with this mindset, though)...1. the Bible says not to worship false idols, 2. hello, so much hate! Again, not all Republicans, not all Christians, but you know exactly what type I mean. Jesus preached love, acceptance, right? Christian means follower of Christ, right? I don't get it, I never will.

That was a lot, but hopefully it paints some kind of picture. Hubs isn't a bad guy, just maybe in denial about the dangers of spreading diseases, whether I have Corona or a cold or a flu...(and that his family is worse...) Maybe I'm just an A-hole, but again, it's nothing that I wouldn't say to people's faces...

How old are your stepchildren? I know because of the pandemic and school being out (plus it being the summer now), most teenagers are sleeping really really late and staying up all night so it's not really abnormal behavior.

That makes sense that some people still don't recover after 14 days because nothing seems very consistent about this virus. Thanks for letting us know what the tests are like. At least they aren't too invasive even if they aren't 100% comfortable.

Well that's actually very nice of your husband that he's only concerned for you and his parents, but then I also find it alarming that he's not worried about his own family. I guess because his family doesn't seem to take it seriously which I do find it bizarre considering how some of them were infected. Maybe that's why they don't take it seriously because some of them did get it and they were fine by the end so it doesn't come across as particularly life-threatening. And the children are children so they feel invincible.

That makes it better that he wasn't specifically accusing you. You should let him know (if you haven't already) that children even without compromised autoimmune systems are getting infected so he should be more careful with his own children. The initial belief that children can't get infected isn't accurate at all anymore. I've also heard that dogs can get it now.

At the end of the day every human being has good sides and bad sides. You yourself have mentioned that your husband generally is a very good person who you love and respect and it's only these pandemic issues that have caused some friction between you because your beliefs are different so that's why I don't feel comfortable hating on him either. But I do wish he took it more seriously and so did his family because they are putting their own lives at risk.

I wasn't sure from your previous posts if you had told your mom or not because at one point it seemed like you weren't telling her but in another post after, it seemed like she did know so thanks for clarifying that you haven't told her. I don't blame you because you wouldn't want to cause her endless worry.

Oh yay, he voted for Hillary! You said he didn't like Joe but does that mean he won't vote for Joe in this election or does he dislike Trump enough to vote for Joe even if he doesn't like Joe? Tulsi Gabbard is frankly a very alarming candidate. She's a Republican in Democrat's clothing and there's a reason that Trump and Republicans loved her and were constantly praising her. In her youth, she was part of a cult so that makes me even more wary of her. I always think of Rose McGowan and how messed up she is and she also grew up in a cult so I stay away from people like that. That's funny that he doesn't think you are too liberal but maybe because he isn't liberal himself, being an independent and in the center, it's easier for him to accept your views if he sees you as not being too left. Lol, that's so awkward what your father-in-law was saying in front of you. Oh your brother-in-law sounds very rude and I'm glad your husband was 100% on your side. I guess your brother-in-law doesn't care very much for BuzzFeed quizzes lol, that must be the problem. That's very abusive of him to call you names like that and I'm glad he was kicked out and it seems like karma served him right.

Oh that experience with your father-in-law sounds awful. I hope it wasn't ill-intentioned on his part because maybe he just has a different capacity for alcohol than you do and he didn't know or I hope that was the case anyway. It seems like he's learned not to do that if they don't drink as much with you guys there anymore so that's progress at least. And I'm glad your husband's stepmom isn't as vocal with her views to make it easier on you and in my experience, it usually is the far-right men who are worse because they have more to lose.

I don't know many Republicans in this day and age who are Republicans because they want to be fiscally conservative. I know several, particularly teenage girls and women, who are Republican primarily because they oppose abortion. I can understand that but I find it hard to accept that they care so much about an unborn fetus but not when the child is born. Why don't they care then that Hispanic children are being locked up in camps or Black children are being shot by the police or children of any color (but typically white) are being killed from gun violence? In fact one woman we know hates Trump but she still voted for him because she doesn't believe in abortion. The ironic thing is that she's Mexican so she voted for him knowing his views on the wall and wanting to deport Mexicans but that didn't bother her so much as abortion apparently. When potential lives are being given weight over actual lives, I don't find that pro-life at all. And I like your point about not worshiping false idols being from the Bible! There are so many good and real Christians out there but unfortunately the Trump supporting ones tend to have warped perceptions of religion and don't tend to practice the way they should. Living in Texas, I've seen a lot of religious hypocrites who bend the commandments to serve their needs for personal gain. I used to find it funny but now it just feels very dangerous.

(note: all quotes below are from JeanGreyForever!)

How old are your stepchildren?

8, 10, & 12

So, one of my dogs has severe skin allergies; I was talking with the 12 year old because he was asking about it. I said she was supposed to get her monthly shot today but because I'm sick I cancelled it. He said "Maybe you have Corona." I said that's why I went to the doctor yesterday, to get tested. But I also said it could just be asthma (but usually my symptoms don't last days, I didn't tell him). I forget what he said but I said "Your dad's not concerned" regarding the kids getting it...

You should let him know (if you haven't already) that children even without compromised autoimmune systems are getting infected so he should be more careful with his own children. The initial belief that children can't get infected isn't accurate at all anymore. I've also heard that dogs can get it now.

I think I just let it be when we had that conversation yesterday- I was tired of going round and round. And yeah, if I have it I'm concerned about my dogs for sure.

Oh yay, he voted for Hillary! You said he didn't like Joe but does that mean he won't vote for Joe in this election or does he dislike Trump enough to vote for Joe even if he doesn't like Joe?

No, he won't vote for Trump! He joked one time a few months ago that between Joe and Trump, he'd vote for Trump, but then quickly he said, "No, I won't do that!" or something similar.

Tulsi Gabbard is frankly a very alarming candidate. She's a Republican in Democrat's clothing and there's a reason that Trump and Republicans loved her and were constantly praising her.

She's a veteran, hubs is a veteran. He liked what she had to say on, of course, the Joe Rogan podcast.

That's funny that he doesn't think you are too liberal but maybe because he isn't liberal himself, being an independent and in the center, it's easier for him to accept your views if he sees you as not being too left.

I think that makes sense!

I guess your brother-in-law doesn't care very much for BuzzFeed quizzes lol, that must be the problem.

My guess is because BuzzFeed News definitely is not right-wing. Who doesn't want to know what Hogwarts house they belong to based on their favorite ice cream flavor?! Seriously, I'm a big BuzzFeed fan, News, quizzes, and in between!

it usually is the far-right men who are worse because they have more to lose.

How so? I always was sheltered, but at 35, I am learning that I'm still very much sheltered and don't know much about people that are "different" from me (not different in a bad way, just different beliefs or backgrounds...).

I know several, particularly teenage girls and women, who are Republican primarily because they oppose abortion. I can understand that but I find it hard to accept that they care so much about an unborn fetus but not when the child is born. Why don't they care then that Hispanic children are being locked up in camps or Black children are being shot by the police or children of any color (but typically white) are being killed from gun violence? ... When potential lives are being given weight over actual lives, I don't find that pro-life at all.

Yeah, I don't understand that at all, other than they were always taught "abortion is bad no matter what" and that's all they know... But I so agree with you.

I've seen a lot of religious hypocrites who bend the commandments to serve their needs for personal gain. I used to find it funny but now it just feels very dangerous.

It's horrible how they feel they're so special that the "rules" don't apply to them; they can cherry pick what they want to abide by, and make excuses for everything else.

JeanGrey, I feel like you're always teaching me things; I don't know if I've ever let you know how much I appreciate your insight, whether it's about this stuff or Star Wars or Kocoum, etc!!

Amy, I am so glad your husband is not as awful as I feared! But he doesn't care about his other family members getting corona?!!! Even his kids?!!!!!! That's messed up! Also, your bro-in-law was an asshole to you! I am sorry he was like that, but good on your for kicking him out and also good on you for sticking up for yourself and your dogs! Also good on you for speaking your mind and standing up for yourself in general! I am also sorry about your dad-in-law being the way he is.

About abortion...I would say people do not hold to anti-abortion beliefs from what they ate taught but mostly from their very own mind and heart feeling a fetus is a human soul that should not be killed. I am ok with abortion but I am speaking as someone who used to not be.

DD wrote:But he doesn't care about his other family members getting corona?!!! Even his kids?!!!!!! That's messed up!

I think JeanGrey is right in that because 2 of his family members had it (they weren't able to be tested months ago but based on symptoms), he assumes they're all able to fight it if they get it. We haven't talked about it since the other day but he thinks only "sick kids" can get sick from it. It's a rough situation. I just hope I don't have it and they don't get sick.

DD wrote:Also good on you for speaking your mind and standing up for yourself in general!

Thank you!

DD wrote:About abortion...I would say people do not hold to anti-abortion beliefs from what they ate taught but mostly from their very own mind and heart feeling a fetus is a human soul that should not be killed. I am ok with abortion but I am speaking as someone who used to not be.

Thank you for sharing your insight on this! I'm curious if others in your family feel as you do, or if you had just changed your mind as you got older. Abortion was never something my parents and I spoke about; coming from a liberal, non-religious family, it just never came up. During my first semester in college, I had a class debate and I was on the pro-life side, and that's really the first time I learned about abortion (I knew it was an option but knew nothing about it).

blackcauldron85 wrote:My guess is because BuzzFeed News definitely is not right-wing. Who doesn't want to know what Hogwarts house they belong to based on their favorite ice cream flavor?! Seriously, I'm a big BuzzFeed fan, News, quizzes, and in between!

I follow politics too closely, so... I think it's because right after the election, a dossier tracking Trump's connections to Russia was dropped on the media via BuzzFeed.

blackcauldron85 wrote:(note: all quotes below are from JeanGreyForever!)

How old are your stepchildren?

8, 10, & 12

So, one of my dogs has severe skin allergies; I was talking with the 12 year old because he was asking about it. I said she was supposed to get her monthly shot today but because I'm sick I cancelled it. He said "Maybe you have Corona." I said that's why I went to the doctor yesterday, to get tested. But I also said it could just be asthma (but usually my symptoms don't last days, I didn't tell him). I forget what he said but I said "Your dad's not concerned" regarding the kids getting it...

You should let him know (if you haven't already) that children even without compromised autoimmune systems are getting infected so he should be more careful with his own children. The initial belief that children can't get infected isn't accurate at all anymore. I've also heard that dogs can get it now.

I think I just let it be when we had that conversation yesterday- I was tired of going round and round. And yeah, if I have it I'm concerned about my dogs for sure.

Oh yay, he voted for Hillary! You said he didn't like Joe but does that mean he won't vote for Joe in this election or does he dislike Trump enough to vote for Joe even if he doesn't like Joe?

No, he won't vote for Trump! He joked one time a few months ago that between Joe and Trump, he'd vote for Trump, but then quickly he said, "No, I won't do that!" or something similar.

Tulsi Gabbard is frankly a very alarming candidate. She's a Republican in Democrat's clothing and there's a reason that Trump and Republicans loved her and were constantly praising her.

She's a veteran, hubs is a veteran. He liked what she had to say on, of course, the Joe Rogan podcast.

That's funny that he doesn't think you are too liberal but maybe because he isn't liberal himself, being an independent and in the center, it's easier for him to accept your views if he sees you as not being too left.

I think that makes sense!

I guess your brother-in-law doesn't care very much for BuzzFeed quizzes lol, that must be the problem.

My guess is because BuzzFeed News definitely is not right-wing. Who doesn't want to know what Hogwarts house they belong to based on their favorite ice cream flavor?! Seriously, I'm a big BuzzFeed fan, News, quizzes, and in between!

it usually is the far-right men who are worse because they have more to lose.

How so? I always was sheltered, but at 35, I am learning that I'm still very much sheltered and don't know much about people that are "different" from me (not different in a bad way, just different beliefs or backgrounds...).

I know several, particularly teenage girls and women, who are Republican primarily because they oppose abortion. I can understand that but I find it hard to accept that they care so much about an unborn fetus but not when the child is born. Why don't they care then that Hispanic children are being locked up in camps or Black children are being shot by the police or children of any color (but typically white) are being killed from gun violence? ... When potential lives are being given weight over actual lives, I don't find that pro-life at all.

Yeah, I don't understand that at all, other than they were always taught "abortion is bad no matter what" and that's all they know... But I so agree with you.

I've seen a lot of religious hypocrites who bend the commandments to serve their needs for personal gain. I used to find it funny but now it just feels very dangerous.

It's horrible how they feel they're so special that the "rules" don't apply to them; they can cherry pick what they want to abide by, and make excuses for everything else.

JeanGrey, I feel like you're always teaching me things; I don't know if I've ever let you know how much I appreciate your insight, whether it's about this stuff or Star Wars or Kocoum, etc!!

I guess your stepchildren are all pretty young right now and even the oldest isn't in his teens so staying up all night really isn't a good idea. And I had no idea that dogs could have skin allergies! I just hope your dog only has skin allergies and nothing else right now.

I'm glad to hear he won't vote for Trump. There are some rumors that Joe Biden might pick Tammy Baldwin (a veteran who lost both her legs) as VP, especially after Republicans got a lot of backlash for attacking Baldwin and claiming she is un-American and not patriotic.

I know BuzzFeed isn't as popular now as it was sometime back, but I still enjoy taking quizzes every so often. Whether it's which Pitch Perfect character you are, which Twilight guy you should end up with, which Hunger Games district are you from, etc. And of course, all the Disney ones. I've even taken a Kardashian one that tells you which Kardashian you are lol.

That's not to say that there aren't some far-right women who aren't bad, because some of them are really bad. But there's a reason that men lean more towards being Republicans compared to women, particularly white men. The Republican party has always protected white men and given them privileges they don't extend to women and minorities. For many white men who have ruled the roost in their homes and the country for so long, they're very fearful that suddenly they are no longer the ones in charge and they're "losing" rights. In fact they aren't losing rights, but it feels that way to them because suddenly they see women and minorities gaining rights which threatens their power. Think about how when films like Captain Marvel and Star Wars come out, it's usually the white men who freak out about how these films are "political" because they feature female leads or minority leads (films like Moana and Black Panther got this flack as well). It's because they aren't using to seeing anyone who didn't resemble them on film for so long so suddenly this feels like an attack on them. I have an older Canadian friend who is pretty left-leaning but even he gets uncomfortable by how women and minorities are being lifted up at a pace that seems like the white man's reign is over. They really do see it as an attack on their identities and their power.

And the worst part is that they pass these traits down to their children. I had one very Christian friend who used to constantly do whatever she wanted under the guise of religion. Like she'd cheat on tests and steal answers and claim that even though stealing is against the commandments, she's allowed to break that because she's fulfilling a greater commandment by honoring her parents by getting better grades to please them. Sabotaging other people in her dance class was apparently also something she justified this way whenever she had petty jealousies.

Oh, I'm glad to hear that! It's really heartening to hear that somebody enjoys the stuff I have to say and not only that but gets some sort of value out of it! So thank you so much for those kind words! In fact you're probably the user I've learned the most from here since you also are always sharing ideas and facts about Disney and non-Disney stuff which I never knew before.

Disney's Divinity wrote:I follow politics too closely, so... I think it's because right after the election, a dossier tracking Trump's connections to Russia was dropped on the media via BuzzFeed.

That actually makes a lot of sense. I can't believe that so many people blindly believe everything Trump says.

JeanGreyForever wrote:And I had no idea that dogs could have skin allergies! I just hope your dog only has skin allergies and nothing else right now.

Oh, yes! I was actually going through my own allergy testing the same time my Trixi was, and we have a lot of allergies in common. The severity of her allergies sucks. She bites at herself, scratches, and gets ear infections. My poor baby.

JeanGreyForever wrote:There are some rumors that Joe Biden might pick Tammy Baldwin

I will have to look her up!!

That was a really good explanation of why those people feel that they have stuff to lose. :/

JeanGreyForever wrote:In fact you're probably the user I've learned the most from here since you also are always sharing ideas and facts about Disney and non-Disney stuff which I never knew before.

Wow, I'm honored! If you ever need someone to look up Disney data, I'm your girl!

Well, Amy, at least your husband may have his reasons for why he thinks his family will survive no matter what, but still...he should be concerned for all of his family!!!

My mother said she doesn't approve of abortion, but from her saying just that, I think she is still approving of women having the choice. I don't know. I also don't know about pretty much all the rest of my family, though the cousin I am so close to is definitely pro-choice.

^So maybe your mom would rather someone not, but she respects that it's up to the woman?

blackcauldron85 wrote:

JeanGreyForever wrote:And I had no idea that dogs could have skin allergies! I just hope your dog only has skin allergies and nothing else right now.

Oh, yes! I was actually going through my own allergy testing the same time my Trixi was, and we have a lot of allergies in common. The severity of her allergies sucks. She bites at herself, scratches, and gets ear infections. My poor baby.

JeanGreyForever wrote:In fact you're probably the user I've learned the most from here since you also are always sharing ideas and facts about Disney and non-Disney stuff which I never knew before.

Wow, I'm honored! If you ever need someone to look up Disney data, I'm your girl!

Oh that sounds awful for the poor dear. Are there any medications she can be treated with so she doesn't suffer too much?

blackcauldron85 wrote:^So maybe your mom would rather someone not, but she respects that it's up to the woman?

I like that mentality a lot. I know some women who would never want to get an abortion themselves, but at the same time they would never deny another woman's right to an abortion. At the end of the day, what conservatives don't realize is that Democrats want women to have the right to choose, whatever decision they might make about their own bodies. Nobody is stating that every woman MUST have an abortion no matter what. That's just part of their twisted narrative.