Hey everybody. I've been informed by enigmawing that you guys were curious/concerned about me, so I decided to come in here and explain what is going on.
Yes, I did quietly leave the site. Why? Because I hate it when someone writes a big thread saying how they are leaving because no one is paying attention to them, how they hate the site now and blah blah blah. It just makes you look like a drama queen seeking the attention and rage of others. I know some write some very personal and courteous threads, but I am talking about the ones written on a fit of rage. So again, I wanted to leave quietly and not cause any problems.
Anyways, why did I leave? Well, to clear it up, I am not in "tough shit" as Aurora put it. Yes, I've experienced personal issues in the last half of 2011, but nothing I would say horrible. The problem is that I remained unemployed for the last half of 2011, I've been denied some government help and it got to the point where I felt taken for granted by my friends and family, so it drove me to a small depression where I lost interest in everything. Not only that, I was driven to writer's fatigue due to a freelance gig I took. It nearly destroyed my love for writing content and discussion in general. It got so bad that my best friend asked me in October to read his book and offer feedback, and I didn't do it right away because I wanted to focus solely on myself.
But then I had the help of fellow UD members enigmawing, Escapay and Disneykid, who let me vent when I needed to, and made me realize that just because I am in a tough situation right now it doesn't mean I will always be this way. I was distraught because I felt like none of my dreams would be coming true, but they helped me realize that just because a dream doesn't happen RIGHT NOW it means they will never happen, that I can keep working for it but realize to not stress myself over it. I am not any less of a man because I don't have something or accomplished anything yet. That helped me out greatly as I was able to enjoy the Holiday season greatly, even if our economical situation didn't allow us for presents or any other massive celebrations. In other words, it helped me focus on the smaller things in life while dealing with some issues here and there.
The real reason as to why I left, though, and I apologize right away for being blunt, I began to hate the negativity on the forums. You guys know how hard I tried to bring some peace here, because I really loved this community. It was the first Disney community I ever visited, and it was the site that helped me define my Disney fandom (as in, I always loved Disney, but finding people that are just as passionate as me about it helped me fully embrace it as part of my person). I've made some of the best friends ever thanks to this site, and I became a member just in time as by that time I was beginning to fall away from some of my real life friends who changed and became far too judgmental of my person (except for my best friend, who still respects me and sees me as a great friend to this day
). So I hated how it went on to become overly negative.
Yes, I am aware that forums will never be free of online drama, and that discussions and arguments will be the norm, but on UD I felt like it was too much, to the point where you couldn't say anything without three or four people making a fuss over it. People got way too personal over things like faith, sexuality, preferences in film, religion and more. When people openly insulted each other over something like a TV show you know there is something severely wrong. I hated that, and I made the personal vow to try to eliminate as much negativity and drama and focus, and sadly, UD had to be the one to go. Luckily, I was able to keep the friends I had made thanks to Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr and other sites, so it was like I had left the site, but it's spirit was still there through some awesome friends.
Finally, Super Aurora, the reason I have not logged into AIM is because I upgraded to the developer version of Windows 8, which for some reason HATES AIM, and whenever I try to log in, it gives me an error message. I searched online and there doesn't seem to be a solution for it quite yet.
Now, does this mean I will be returning? Quite frankly, I don't know. The truth is that I do miss this place and the discussions I partook in, but I am still feeling hurt over some of the things said and done on the site, and I don't know if I am quite ready to live through that again.
So as is stands, I am undecided. Hopefully, this will clear things up. Sorry if I made anyone worry. I am fine, things are slightly looking up for me. Nothing solid as of now, but there is far more promise now than there was back in 2011. Again, nothing solid yet, but still something to look forward to.
-pap64
