My DVD purchases will be narrated by characters from Little Britain:
Lou and Andy on
Little Britain Live! R2 PAL
Andy: I want that one!
Lou: But didn't you say that the catchphrase comedy of Little Britain were becoming increasingly moribund and the tedium and predictability of the sketches rendered any humour effectively redundant?
Andy: Yeah, I know
Lou: So Are you sure you want this one? Once you buy it, you can't change your mind.
Andy: I want that one!
Lou: [Picks up case] Oh what a kafuffle! At least the Live! performance contains numerous extras like commentary from Matt and David, deleted scenes, a specially recorded sketch in Blackpool, a making of the tour documentary and the documentary on David's charity Big Swim for Sport Relief. The Special Edition comes with a reproduction of the tour programme. Just let me pay for it with Mr. Shopkeeper and then we can go home and watch it.
[Hours later, at home, Lou puts the DVD into the DVD player]
Andy: I don't like it!
Alice Beer on
The I.T. Crowd R2 PAL
Alice: So you want to buy a copy of The IT Crowd, the 'hit' Channel 4 comedy about three social outcasts who are the IT Department of a major London financial firm created by one of the creators of the legendary Father Ted? The disc includes deleted scenes, out-takes, a behind the scenes featurette, an all-new "Hello Friend" short film and commentary. Let me just see…. COMPUTER SAYS NO….. *cough*
Emily Howard on
Grease: The Ultimate Sing-Along Special Edition 2 discs R2 PAL
Emily: I'm a lady, and I like collecting ladies things, such as Grease DVDs. And this DVD is packed full of things for ladies to do, from Beauty Tips for my ladies' face and hair, to how to make sweet and delicious Soda Creams, which ladies can enjoy. And then, my delicate ladies voice can sing along to all of Olivia Newton-Johns ladies songs.
Mr Mann and Roy the Shopkeeper on
The Tarzan Collection Vol 2 3 Discs R1 NTSC
Mr Mann: Hello
Roy: Hello. How may I help you.
Mr Mann: I am looking for a specific series of 6 films, set in a jungle starring the same character in sequence, but not starting at the character's 1st film. There should be 2 films on each disc, and no special features, not even trailers.
Roy: I'll see if I can find anything for you. [Looks around confused] No, I don't think we have anything that matches that description. I'll just ask Margaret… [shouts into the back room] MARGARET?
Margaret: YES?
Roy: THERE'S A GENTLEMAN HERE LOOKING FOR A SPECIFIC SERIES OF 6 FILMS, SET IN A JUNGLE STARRING THE SAME CHARACTER IN SEQUENCE, BUT NOT STARTING AT THE CHARACTER'S 1ST FILM. HE ALSO SAYS THERE SHOULD BE 2 FILMS ON EACH DISC.
Mr Mann: And no special features, not even trailers.
Roy: Oh, yes. AND HE SAYS NO SPECIAL FEATURES NOT EVEN TRAILERS.
Mr Mann: And the films should be shot in black and white, with increasingly smaller budgets.
Roy: AND HE SAYS THE FILMS SHOULD BE SHOT IN BLACK AND WHITE, WITH INCREASINGLY SMALLER BUDGETS.
Mr Mann: And increasingly unbelievable plots
Roy: AND HE ALSO SAYS WITH INCREASINGLY UNBELIEVABLE PLOTS.
Margaret: I CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING… EXCEPT THE TARZAN COLLECTION VOL 2 WHICH INCLUDES THE LAST SIX JOHNNY WEISSMULLER FILMS.
Roy: Oh yes. The Tarzan Collection Vol 2.
Mr Mann: Did I say the star of the films has to be a giant mushroom called 'Bob'?
