Psycho Beach Party (2000 / directed by: Robert Lee King)
This movie used to be a lot of fun but... not anymore. You could say it's just the mood I was in at the time (about 2 weeks ago) but I think as you mature as a viewer, certain things aren't as solid as they seemed before. The problem here is that this is a movie and it's stocked with television actors (Thomas Gibson, Nicholas Brendon, Andrew Levitas, David Chokachi, Channon Roe) giving television performances. Only one I would consider tossing a reprieve: Beth Broderick (
Sabrina, the Teenage Witch). Another problem is that, while it's an amusing satire, it lacks edge. It's trying to be funny and it's not, though it's reaching everywhere for comedic influences- from John Waters to Farrelly Brothers type antics. It never bothered me before that it wasn't funny because - and I still think this is true - there are some very fun characters. Especially Bettina Barnes and the "ambiguously gay" would-be lovers YoYo and Provolone. Oh, yeah, and Amy Adams is here in one of those sure to be infamous "before they were famous" moments playing the movie's bitch. Since the movie has a bodycount, it's important to note that she lives but she also ends up naked from the waist down (with her hands covering her crotch) during a maybe funny monologue; I didn't get it since I don't know anything about what a "presbyterian" is other than some kind of religion. Anyway, the "not funny" thing becomes a problem mainly when
Dharma and Greg's Thomas Gibson and cross-dressing screenwriter Charles Busch have to do really awkward lovemaking scenes. Funnily enough- they both fail at their parts. As does the movie's star, Lauren Ambrose, when she plays her 1st alternate personality- deep- throated dominatrix Ann Bowman. However, she does have a 2nd "black chick" personality, Tylene Carmichael Carmel, that comes out every now and then and she's much more successful at that. The movie does well with its' women characters, SOME of the repressed straight guys are okay, the camp works when it doesn't involve gender-switching characters, and... well, credit is due to the director for not shying away from overtly homoerotic imagery. The ending is actually pretty happy for most of the characters and again, the ideas are clever enough. But overall, it needs to feel more authentic and several people just fail. Not to mention Charles Busch gets some truly repulsive closeups. I think he said he was going for Joan Crawford in his look and I think if she'd ever seen herself onscreen looking like this- she'd scream harder at once than her character did all throughout William Castle's
Strait-Jacket.
But I'm a Cheerleader (1999 / directed by: Jamie Babbit)
Yes, I actually watched it again. And it was the same as it was last year: depressing, painfully unfunny, and badly wishing it were as sharp as John Waters' brand of satire. The cast is great and the actors try their hardest but every scene is riddled with awful stereotype-driven jokes yet it has nothing to say
about stereotypes. Sinead who "likes pain," for example, is still a one-note bitch who is there to dress like a goth, be jealous, and connive. Andre is the prissy guy. And he has nothing to say or do but talk trash, swish on the dancefloor, and swing axes behind him instead of in front of him. Natasha Lyonne's Christian cheerleader character is meant to be the only exception: she's a ditz but she has a big heart and cheerleading just makes her happy. The ending tries to fix the poorly assembled and pointless movie by saying that you shouldn't change who you are. But of course being who you are is a joke here since everyone in the movie is a stereotype except when you're in love. Being in love makes you normal. Unless you have a domestic partnership- then you turn right back into ridiculous, shallow, whiny stereotypes. So, to review: the combination of being young and in love and not judging others makes you worth being treated seriously. Yeah, methinks the movie's confused.
The Big Tease (1999 / directed by: Kevin Allen)
That rating is an uncomfortable compromise. It's a really weird movie. I can see no honest flaws in it. It's a matter of interpretation and what kind of person you are. I like different movies. This fits that bill. But I think it rather lacks a real identity and it doesn't seem tailored for any specific audience. So you kind of wonder how it got made in the first place. There are several
Drew Carey Show cast members helping out Craig Ferguson in this vehicle for him. Between this and the fact that the director is an alum of
French & Saunders should at least produce something that makes sense. This move's just one big "why am I watching this?" all the way through. Basically, it's trying to mock underdog characters and sports competition movies by making everyone in L.A. go nuts over a big hair styling contest (which I don't think exists and am too lazy to go Google). The movie builds to this "will he" get into the line-up of competitors even though he was only invited to sit in the audience. I won't lie- I was pretty into the movie until he actually gets to the competition. Which is one of the most stunning displays of nohing ever captured on film. Taking an absurd idea and carrying on with it for what seems like eternity as though it were
The Karate Kid and there were an actual dramatic resolution riding on how big a deal they could make of it. Here's what makes it so insane: we see Ferguson's underdog character Crawford at work, actually making a new and devoted friend over re-styling her hair. He talks out her love life, points out where she was actually making herself prematurely bald, and gives her a new haircut that gives her this amazing new confidence. Then... at the competition... NO ONE is designing hair!! We see the results of their big projects and... all they're doing is putting the models in dresses and sticking TOYS in their hair!! I'm not kidding. The judges award them high scores for having toy HOUSES and BOATS and SOCCER PLAYERS ON REVOLVING TURNTABLES in their HAIR!! Anyway, in the realm of the star-studded weird comedy, it may not be
Drop Dead Gorgeous (amazingly underrated mockumentary satire about teen high school beauty pageants) but it's leaps and bounds better than
Dr. Jekyll and Ms. Hyde. The cast is great, the music is good, the jokes aren't funny but the characters are likable and highly amusing (though, for obvious reasons,
Grounded for Life's Donal Logue doesn't fit into a gay hairstylist's entourage). And for a movie released by a major Hollywood studio, the fact that it isn't insulting to its' gay character is refreshing. Though I leave it to anyone else who's seen the movie whether the Club Spartacus scene seems like a bad cliche. I think it's a good idea, especially to see the Martin character's reaction.
Hansel & Gretel (1987 / directed by: Len Talan)
I say it's still a lot of fun after all these years. Not technically very good: it's cheap as hell and Griselda's house of candy looks toxic at its' most appealing (which works for me, as you can imagine). The acting is iffy at best. And... whose idea was it to make this a musical? The songs are beyond horrendous. They're ghastly. The special effects are infrequent and not that bad; I continue to be especially impressed by the sequence where the house melts into a giant rainbow Slushee. The cast is okay. Cloris Leachman pic'd above is fantastic, as to be expected. The mother/stepmother character is noteworthy for being a dramatic, sympathetic portrayal. Whereas she's usually comical or a complete bitch, this woman (Emily Richard) takes this completely seriously. Very seriously- her performance seemed pretty credible to me. The dialogue is the problem. Her whole beating down the husband for matters of pride and the way she yells at him because he's making
her starve is a little hard to sit through. Why? Because she keeps adding the children onto her speech after it's almost over. She just wants him to know that she can't make it. The kids have WAY too much energy considering they're supposed to be as starved as the mother and you sure don't see her dancing and cavorting around at puppet shows. The last thing I want to mention is just the chemistry Hansel and Gretel have. Of course, for me that means pointing out the scene where she sings about a sprite in the woods and he watches her like he's Christopher Atkins, she's Brooke Shields, and this is
The Blue Lagoon. How romantic. Wait... they're supposed to be brother and sister!
The Ref (1994 / directed by: Ted Demme)
I'm telling you: I scoured that thing looking for a worthy pic (I'm not kidding, I scanned this movie for an hour looking for a frame that interested me) and this is the best I could come up with. It's that overcovered. (I mean- everyone gets their own shot at all times and what I needed was a shot of 2 characters in a moment of realization without flapping their gums and one that excluded the nitwit son.) Getting hungry? Those onion rings sure look good (probably ice cold, though, knowing movie shoots). Anyway, the movie might have been really good. But taking a hard look at it- it suffers from 2 things. 1: 90's-itis. No, I don't mean that it's stocked with alternative songs. I mean that everybody whines too much. Literally. The criminal actually has a discussion where he tells the guy he's holding hostage: "I work for a living." Poorly disguised class warfare, which also comes into play in the scenes of the lieutenant versus the snooty town committee people and the kids (niece and nephew of Kevin Spacey and Judy Davis) versus their parents. Then the son comes in and his entire problem as far as he tells it is that his parents fight. Although the problem seems to be that his father is an asshole to him. The son handles him like a pro though. It's the whole emotional "you're tearing me apart" crap that feels like a joke. The son has no emotions. He's a miniature conman. With the acting range of a used car salesman- you'll only buy it if you don't know what to look for. And the whole plot involving Spacey and Davis in therapy and her being a "wild child" type who seeks existential fulfillment. Bad fads litter the movie.
The 2nd problem is just that the movie's endless scenes of people arguing are pretty jumbled. So many things are lost or not kept track of that the scene of the family members arguing back is a mess. The mother/grandmother and sister-in-law/aunt are the best examples. Both of them start out as overbearing and pretend to be offended when someone else gets angry, then they switch to controntational and then back to offended. I mean, just as Christine Baranski's character stands up to
Mary Poppins's Glynis Johns and tries to make her sympathetic, the movie turns around and has her being gagged with tape and put on the same level as Johns' who is easily the main villain in the movie. Johns plays the entire Family Members Arguing scene as nasty but "I'm an old lady so how dare you use profanity like that, oh my!" and criticizes psychology. The next scene she's analyzing the criminal and saying all men are afraid of people finding out they have small dicks. She's the villain and somehow the homophobic cop lieutenant is this movie's rebel Clint Eastwood hero who doesn't get anywhere near finding Denis Leary's on-the-lam criminal but does get to insult the rich town committee folk and his entire squad of dumbling deputies / officers. As a movie, it needs too much work to fix. It's okay if you don't pay attention. And every now and then, it's pretty smart. And, I don't know what it is about Kevin Spacey in this movie but nofo found my G-spot. Am I insane for wanting to give him a dose of the behind breaker? (That's actually a not-so-subtle reference to a Disney film. Anyone remember which?)