Posted: Thu Apr 21, 2005 11:30 am
Hello, Hello! You join me now for a special interview, the evil miserly anti Disney brigade have been halted while the sequelwraiths return the evil sequel to them!
Joining me know is winner of most amusing posts, it's Ichabod!
Joan: Hi Ichabod, how do you feel at winning your first Golden Mickey?
Ichabod: I'm simply thrilled! I find it so flattering that the mad warped evil that fills my brain, is found so funny by people!
Joan: Did you have to do any kind of special training to get so funny?
Ichabod: Yes Joan, it takes a lot of work. You can't just get up one morning and think "Hey, I'm going to say something funny", the stress on the unused joke telling muscles or "chuckle muscles" as they are known teachnically could be disastrous!
Joan: So what does your training involve?
Ichabod: I usually start by day by getting up around 4:30, starting by flexing the chuckle muscles by getting iin a few quick quips against some kind of talentless HilaryDuffMaryKateandAshleyLohan looking teen. They're the easiest and allows a gentle start. Them I'd usually head down town and maybe mock a few tramps, laugh derisively at an old woman, and then finish off by pushing someone under a bus. Then on the way home as a warm down it's usually sarcasm fired in the direction of anyone who crosses my path.
Joan: And do you get much rest?
Ichabod: No not at all, it's a 24/7 task! You can never let your guard down, you always need something to say on the off chance that someone falls over or is in emotional turmoil.
Joan: So who influenced you?
Ichabod: Well i was mainly influenced by the jack-asses such as The Disney Board, Ricky Gervais and the creators of Shrek 2, who wouldn't know talent if it came riding into their office on a unicycle juggling 17 puppies whilst reciting the dictionary in the voice of Angela Lansbury! Most of all the fact that comedy has gone so downhill recently, with studio heads something getting the idea that in order to make people laugh they should put dire jokes in films that weren't funny the first time they were uttered! "Are we there yet?" jokes in particular, i mean even Moses raises an unimpressed eyebrow in the Bible, at the oldest known "are we there yet?" joke, and I quote "And they had toiled across the bed of the Red Sea in search of the promised land when a wise assed Black comedian uttered the words "Is our destination at hand?" at which point God angrily allows the flood waters to drown him!"
Joan: How do you feel about the people you may offend, some people are fragile you know!
Ichabod: Don't me ridiculous, "fragile" doesn't mean anything, It's just one of those words people thorw about to hide their abnormalities like "Big-Boned" or "Strawberry-Blonde"!
Joan: It's clear that Michael Eisner and the current Disney Company are a target for your witterings, any particular reason.
Ichabod: Yes, My beef lies with the fact that Michael Eisner is a moron who wouldn't know a good idea if it walked holding a banner marked "I am a good idea"! Although it's fair to say that Michael Eisner is not always aware of what is happening under his nose, a bit like the time my sister thought she had insomnia, but it was really just me crushing prosac into her food! Also a large portion of the blame lies with that idiot marketing department whose trailers so often miss the point and are so dull approximately 6 billion people world wide had commited suicide whilst watching them! Disney's marketing department couldn't sell beer at a Alcoholics' Anonymous meeting!
Joan: Well it's been a fantastic for me talking to you, how's it been for you?
Ichabod: Quite frankly, It's disturbing to look at someone's face and see half of it sliding off the bone, like overcooked beef!
Joan: Anything else you'd like to add!
Ichabod: Yes,
Never remove a fly from your forehead with a ratchet,
If you wish to be blamed for everything that goes wrong on this Earth, get married,
Why doesn't milk taste like beef?
Many a muckle, makes a muckle.
hehehehe can wait to see what Joan will do next....
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