DVDizzy Forum

My first year of college is over (YAY!) and I finally have time to reply (YAY again!).

Firstly, Karen (you don't mind if I call you that, right? I'm Keith btw), I'm sorry about all your health struggles, but it really is inspiring to read how you've tackled them. You seem very proactive about taking your health into your own hands, and I admire that. Like running a 5K? Wow! I want to do that, but it seems like a fantasy right now-- but hopefully it will seem more realistic in the near future. How's your progress with getting back to that? I hope you're over your lung infection and things are continuing to improve!

Anxiety runs in my family; both my Dad and my sister take medication for it. I've always thought I had similar issues, but I'm better at hiding it-- I don't get stage fright like them, but I'm terrified of driving a car. Which I absolutely have to learn to do this summer! And I'm really terrified! I hate feeling like I'm being judged by anyone, including other drivers, and I try to perform my best, which just gets me more into my head, and my parents are terrible teachers, and I think there's a lot of social cues involved in driving, too... And you know, getting in an accident, too. Or just having people honk at me because I'm waiting too long to pull out into the road. Little stupid stuff like that freaks me out. But I gotta get over that, right? I kinda need to drive... I feel like I've damaged a lot of relationships and I've relinquished a lot of freedom in not driving...

Also, I think I was having panic attacks in the summer of 2012. I remember one time, literally, thinking and feeling like I was having a heart attack. I went to my room and paced and took breaths in and out and I was okay. I've never told my parents that, because I wasn't the one who was supposed to have those issues...

As for the weight, I've kept losing it! I currently weigh less than I ever did in high school! 273 pounds! I only weigh in on Sundays, so that number is nearly a week old, but I should be on track to lose another 2 or 3 pounds. I still haven't told any of my friends about it. I don't know, I guess vanity wise I kinda want them to notice it first. I've been taking progress pics for awhile, and I've definitely noticed changes in my appearance-- and it's great, it's like going through your own personal Disney transformation sequence. I have a cleft chin! I didn't know that before, haha.

Thought I'd share an update on my progress now that summer is nearly over.

I've kept losing! I weigh 232.2 pounds now, which is less than I can ever remember weighing. It's odd, I'm obviously still overweight-- actually, that's not really true. Medically, I'm still obese, but I'm about ten pounds away from being just overweight. 180 is my goal weight, for the record.

I'm still counting calories with the MyPlate app. I walk most days, 10,000 steps plus. Some days I eat back the calories, some days I don't. My weight loss fluctuates. Some weeks I lose less than a pound, some weeks I lose 4. I've learned not to freak out if the scale doesn't read as low as I expected it to. I know there are a lot of contributing factors beyond calorie consumption when it comes to that number on the scale. As I get closer to my healthy bmi, I know I'm in for the toughest part, when the scale doesn't move as quickly and I have even more severe calorie restrictions to compensate. Oh, and I hear when one gets closer to a healthy BMI, loved ones often tell them they're getting "too" skinny, too, and I think I'll have to face that. I think I'm prepared for it all, which is hopefully acclimating me to adjust to maintenance soon, too. I have to admit, I'm a little scared that I'll lose all the weight and gain it back. But one day at a time right? At this point, I've come to terms with the fact that I may have to count calories for the rest of my life-- but that's not a bad thing. Whatever it takes from keeping me from indulging in bad habits, right?

I'm posted my first progress pics yesterday. I saw someone I graduated high school with recently and she said she almost didn't recognize me since I'd lost a lot of weight, so I thought I ought to post some pics before school starts so people aren't shocked when they see me. It feels good to be complimented, and yet really weird (more so good, however). I guess because as an obese person, I tried not to think about my body and generally people around me didn't try and rock the boat on that. Now, I am thinking about my body, very seriously so, and folks are noticing it, too.

It's interesting to look at the pics. I'm wearing the same thing in both, one from the beginning of my journey and one from now. I had to ask my relatives if they could tell a difference between the before and after shots. Like, I know I look different, but I was afraid the difference wasn't big enough to justify a whole Facebook post? Well, my family was sort of dumbfounded. It's strange, when I compare and contrast, I see lots and lots of differences, but big picture it's harder to see. I was looking at other folks' progress pics and I saw people at a similar height and weight as me, and I think "They look skinnier than me." But then I look at my current pic, and think, "Hey, if I didn't know this pic was of me, I'd think the guy in it looked skinnier, too." I keep thinking about the toilet paper roll analogy, you don't notice the roll getting smaller until one day you're down to the tube.

Body image is nuts, isn't it? When I reach a regular BMI I'll post some before and after pics here if I don't chicken out. I hope everyone else is happy and healthy or on their way to that destination.

I've always been skinny, and stress generally would make me lose weight. Most of my jobs have been ones with a good bit of standing and walking. I have exercised on and off; it depends where I am living at the time (I have moved around a lot these past 5 years). Now I'm 30, and I have a desk job and, besides my walks with my dog, I'm not as active as I have been (my boyfriend and I used to exercise regularly, but he seems off of that kick, and we're in a 2nd story apartment [for now...we're moving to a first-floor apartment soon, so I suppose I can pull out my dance aerobics DVDs and not have a downstairs neighbor hear the thudding!!]). I recently got back to my high school weight (a year and a half ago when I moved back to Florida, I weighed 92 pounds, and now I'm back to 103 [my high school weight was 103, and I had reached 103 recently, and the last time I weighed myself, I was 104][I'm 5'1"]). I think, though, that my metabolism is starting to slow down...due to lack of exercise especially, but I'm not a youngster anymore, either.

I literally just had the "when I move to the first floor, I can regularly exercise again" thought, and I'm super excited- I love choreography, so I really miss doing my dance aerobics daily.

To gain my weight back, I turned to whole milk and as high-fat yogurts as I could find. (And I'm not as stressed as I had been in the past.) (After so, so many years of horrible abdominal pain, I learned about gluten-free eating a few years ago, and that forever changed my life for the better...so I couldn't just carb-load...and I love dairy!)

My sleep lately has been really wonky; I used to take Unisom to fall asleep, and that stopped working. My doctor put me on Trazodone, and the combination of not wanting to take it too late and feeling extra groggy in the morning if I don't get "enough" sleep, and my doctor saying not to become dependent on it, means that...Usually, naturally, I would fall asleep between 8:30 and 9:00 (and usually I'd need my Unisom, regardless of how sleepy I naturally was), and, for example, I was up until 12:30am this morning, and woke up at 4:30ish (without any sleep meds). I don't know why my sleep is so weird lately. But without meds, I only can get 3-4 hours of sleep.

Wonderlicious wrote:There is also something I'm going to address here that I never have before, mainly due to the prejudices surrounding mental health: depression. I've had depression in the past (nothing more than what can be described as mild or moderate depression, but depression nonetheless). In many of my past bouts, I simply swept it under the rug and got on with life as best as I could, but a strong bout of it earlier this year led me to run straight to a doctor. I have started medication to counteract it and it's been doing wonders for me. In fact, I think it helped with my recent coming out. I would definitely recommend anyone who has the slightest fear that they may indeed be depressed to go and see a doctor. You may be "getting by" (as I was), but life is too short to feel constantly miserable.

I suffered from horrible anxiety, and a few months ago was put on a medication. I still have boughts (sp?) of anxiety, but the medication has helped to slow my brain down and not keep on thinking those thoughts. It's been a huge help for me.

Elladorine wrote: I'd like to get more walking in as well, but we've already hit 110º F over here and summer's just begun! I do head to the mall sometimes though to get some indoor walking (and shopping!) in.

I'n in Florida, so it's hot here, as well...I have to walk outside with my dog, but walking at the mall is a genius idea that I need to start doing!!!

Dr Frankenollie wrote:It seems as though there's abundant ignorance regarding depression - it isn't simply feeling a little sad. It's certainly not something controllable by mere will.

disneyboy20022 wrote:I agree. Some people say just get over it, and it's all in your head kinda attitudes which I hate. I agree with you 110% on this. What's sad is some people who have depression are told that it's in their head believe it and their life can go to heck because of it.

I was very depressed back in high school, and I used to cut myself, and my parents didn't do anything other than...my mom left a note on my bed with the phone number of the mental health department of our doctors' office. And in high school I wrote a report on teenage depression, and my dad said, "What to teenagers have to be depressed about?!" All the while, their daughter was harming herself because she was miserable...

Another light-bulb-just-went-off thought: Could my anxiety medication slow my metabolism? It really started to slow after I started taking it...hmmm...

Keith, I was smiling when I read your post!! You seem to have a great attitude and a commitment to reaching your goals!!

Elladorine wrote:every little aspect of my life has gotten better since I've gotten treatment.

I'm so proud of you, Karen!! For the weight loss, for wanting to be healthy for yourself and your family, and for having a positive outlook!!

Oh, and Karen, before your lung infection, how in the world did you run a 5K with your asthma? I have asthma, and I can't do anymore than sprint and I start gasping for air! You are awesome!

Keith wrote:it's like going through your own personal Disney transformation sequence. I have a cleft chin! I didn't know that before, haha.

!!! I love that analogy!

Well this is hard to admit. The healthy foods such as salads and leafy greens I can't eat. Mainly because it upsets my Ulcerative colitis. I tried a salad the other day and let's just say that was a bad idea. It's frustrating too because I liked eating salads

The good news is since July I gave up soda and now drink tea. I've also lost 30 pounds since April so there's some good news at least

disneyboy, can you eat other vegetables without feeling sick? That's awesome that you lost sor much weight!!

Good for you on your progress with your health, Amy! My sister is just at the threshold of being underweight and I know how difficult it is for her to gain. Dance aerobics sounds like a fun way to work out. What sort of DVDs do you watch? I hope you're able to get your sleeping all sorted out. I know it's one of the worst things to make everything else about your body feel miserable.

Congrats on your weight loss, Disneyboy20022! Especially in light of your setbacks with UC. And good on you for giving up soda! I really think I was addicted to the stuff, and it feels so good not to be, doesn't it? If you can conquer soda, you can conquer it all.

Short update: I weigh 217. 18 pounds from "Onederland." Officially, just overweight now, and about 40 pounds from a healthy bmi!

Also, we got a blue tick hound puppy named Dolly yesterday. Nothing to do with my health, really, but she's super cute.

Congratsm UF!!! Not too far from your goal, really, if you think about it, huh?!

UmbrellaFish wrote:Good for you on your progress with your health, Amy! What sort of DVDs do you watch?

My favorite workout DVDs are "15-minute workouts," Denise Austin, Kendra Wilkinson (surprisingly, her workout DVD is pretty good), and Pussycat Dolls.

The holidays suck. Too much food. But I've been (mostly) good and have kept losing. But without a doubt, the month of December has been the most challenging month for me by far. Anybody who starts a diet right before the last Thursday of November and sticks to it must be a god! Still, I'm down to 190!! That's 10 pounds away from my initial goal, which was just for a healthy weight. Now, my new goal is to reach 160 and then gain ten pounds of muscle to 170. I need to do more research on that, but it's a couple months away.

I've surprised myself with the diet. It makes me realize a person can do anything if they set their mind to it. Corny, I know, but a healthy weight was always a dream, something I hoped would just magically happen one day. Then, last December I did some research, implemented what I found out into my life, and here I am. I'm not a completely different person-- I wouldn't want to be-- but now, a year later, I've gone from weighing over 300 pounds to having a number 1 at the front of my weight. It's insane.

Once again, I hope everyone is happy and healthy or at least on your way to those destinations! Happy Holidays!

Wow, 300 pounds to 190 pounds! That's amazing! Great job UmbrellaFish!