DVDizzy Forum

Divinity, that list is great, as is Enigma's link too.

It still feels strange to live in a world where a gay man can be both Prime Minister or killed/jailed at the same time based on where he lives. Equality and acceptance have come along way, but there's still much more that can be done.

On a different note, while Hillary Clinton's speech was great, the US is still not the best example for "gay rights".

Flanger-Hanger wrote:On a different note, while Hillary Clinton's speech was great, the US is still not the best example for "gay rights".

How could it be, when it tramples *everybody's* human rights on a daily basis?

I had such a random feeling of nostalgia. I just looked through some of the old posts throughout this series of threads and wondered why there aren’t hilarious discussions anymore? *tear*

We need a "Where Are They Now?" reunion special.

A lot of people that used to have a lot of fun on the forum have left because the forum isn't fun for them anymore, probably because of how they felt about certain new people.

Wish I knew exactly what it was that changed this place, and I wonder if I was part of the blame. If I was, I'm sorry, and I wish I could change that while still expressing what I really think and being myself here. But I definately wish I hadn't bashed Beauty and the Beast so much for one thing. I do wonder "Where are they now?" though I have seen some people at other forums...which I think are inferior to UD but whatever.

I feel like this place was hopping before I joined, but after I joined everyone ran away. It's been really quiet and, well, contentious. I don't think you've been the real cause, Disney Duster. I think the cause has just been uncivilized arguments and overbearing opinions. You have some overbearing opinions, to be sure, but you tend to be polite about it.

Linden wrote:I feel like this place was hopping before I joined, but after I joined everyone ran away. It's been really quiet and, well, contentious. I don't think you've been the real cause, Disney Duster. I think the cause has just been uncivilized arguments and overbearing opinions. You have some overbearing opinions, to be sure, but you tend to be polite about it.

lol Thank you. I was only wondering if I was part of the cause but thanks for saying you don't think I am either.

No, people just come and go on forums like these. I've been on hiatus for a couple of months in the past, too, for no particular reason.

I'm still around To keep things slightly-ish on track....

Sometimes I wonder whether or not I should tell my Dad. I know that he and his side of the family are a tad more close minded than my Mom's side, so it does make me worry about all the "What If's" that could come into play if he did find out. With that said, I do intend to talk to my Mom's side more about it since I feel like when I did 'come out' to them it was more of a 'stumble through in a vague manner' so here's hoping that it all gets cleared up!

Goliath wrote:No, people just come and go on forums like these. I've been on hiatus for a couple of months in the past, too, for no particular reason.

I don't know. It seemed like there was a massive die-off not too long ago.

^ I think so too. That's a small reason why I haven't been around lately, but it wasn't the main one.

Some big news today was Prop 8 being declared (again) unconstitutional, this time by a 3 judge 9th circuit panel. Full details on where the case could go from here and reaction by various groups/politicians can be seen here:

http://www.prop8trialtracker.com/2012/0 ... uit-panel/

As the report says, Gay marriages cannot take place in California still as a stay on the ban was issued with the decision.

The same website will give you details on how Washington state is close to becoming the next state to legalize SSM in the US.

Update on Washington: Both the state house and senate have pased the bill and it now just has to be signed into law by the governor, who said she would. This will make that state the 7th to do so in the US, unless a referendum takes place.

I got a picture with him apparently he's from an A list show my fellow gays know?

CampbellzSoup wrote:

I got a picture with him apparently he's from an A list show my fellow gays know?

Looks like Reichen Lehmkuhl.

oh cool thanks Adam

Check Reichen out on Dante's Cove Season 3 or The A List: New York Seasons 1 & 2!

Linden wrote:I feel like this place was hopping before I joined, but after I joined everyone ran away. It's been really quiet and, well, contentious. I don't think you've been the real cause, Disney Duster. I think the cause has just been uncivilized arguments and overbearing opinions. You have some overbearing opinions, to be sure, but you tend to be polite about it.

it was. the problem is that people started arguin, feeling stressed, pessimism reared it's ugly head, and the fun was sucked.

I’m so confused right now.

Life feels like a balancing act. I live in a religious, conservative community and I’m expected to be that way, but I’m not. My family expects me to be that way, but I’m not. To be liberal, to be atheist, to be a homosexual, that makes you an outcast here. And that’s what I am. My family always told me I could pick my political allegiance, but I can’t but imagine that that would be disapproved. We’ve never gone to church regularly, but my family would be appalled if I told them I was an atheist. And to be gay, I don’t know how they’d react to that. Sometimes I wonder why I had to get all this crap loaded onto me, why I couldn’t have been born and lived just like everyone else around me, but then I realize that there’s something good in having these attributes, this background. Whatever it is, I don’t know yet, but I’m sure I’ll find out later.

School’s a whole different matter. For as long as I can remember, I’ve been known as the kind, booksmart kid who most people like. Unfortunately, that would go all out the window if I admitted that I was liberal, an atheist, and gay. I know-- I care way too much what people think about me, but that’s not it, I’m too weak to say it, I’m too weak to fight against it. I can handle the rumors, but I couldn’t handle people who were kind to me before they knew all about me to start talking about me behind my back. I couldn’t handle it.

I didn’t understand how people could be so mean and hateful to others until I entered high school. Now, it’s all become so clear, and it makes me sad. I try never to hurt someone’s feelings and if I do, I’m gut wrenched. Because I’m so terribly guarded myself, I know people might show something on one side of their self and be completely different on the other side, so I’m always afraid that if I hurt someone who seems stable, that’ll be what sets them off. Maybe that’s paranoid, but it keeps me from insulting and hurting strangers.

But anyway, at school, I feel like I’m living a lie. I sometimes wish I could have it easy and have been born years later, when homophobia will become as taboo as racism, but I think maybe I have an opportunity to change things for the better. Maybe not now, but maybe when I’m older and achieve some level of success. Maybe I’ll be braver then.

The worst part of all, is lying to my friend. I’ve never been so close to anyone in my life, and recently, I realized, I loved him. I realized, I flirted with him. I realized, I got jealous when he was talking to other people. I assumed I was going to live out the rest of my life as a virgin, but I think I love him.

But, wait for it, here’s the kicker, he’s an ultra-conservative homophobe. And that fuels part of my fear of coming out. If I ever did, he’d be the first person to leave me, and talk about me. I couldn’t handle that. I’d never push him to be with me, but sometimes I wonder, if he’s gay, too. Neither one of us ever talk about girls to each other. Yeah, he bandies about a few soccer players and Helena Bonham Carter, but it’s as real as me talking about Julie Andrews or Judy Garland as potential lovers-- ain’t gonna happen. And supposedly, he’s crushed on one girl for awhile, but we never talk about her, and he’s never tried to make a move on her. Or any girl, for that matter. Sure, maybe he’s a late bloomer. If so, I could accept it and move on. But sometimes, I wonder if he’s just as gay as me, but is too repressed (I might add, his parents are not homophobic, so it’s not been grounded in him through family) to admit it. I mean, for a person, like him, to have grown up with a close gay relative, but then talk about mass genocide of gays at the same hat, is it not possible that that person just hates their self? Or am I making up fairy tales to satisfy myself and is my friend, and someone I would like to be more than with, actually a monster?

This wasn’t even what I meant to type up, but I had to some day. Thanks for reading.

Sorry if it sounded like a pity-fest, which re-reading it, it is. But I never talk about this stuff. I’m just letting it flow, crap and all, so if it was disjointed, I’m sorry.

It's hard to click the submit icon. This will be the first time I've ever described myself with those words outside of my own mind. But here goes...

UmbrellaFish wrote:But, wait for it, here’s the kicker, he’s an ultra-conservative homophobe. And that fuels part of my fear of coming out. If I ever did, he’d be the first person to leave me, and talk about me.

Which begs the question: is he a real friend, then?

If he can't accept you for who you are, then he is not. It's hard to come to that realisation, but that's the truth. It will hurt, undoubtedly, but someone who will abandon you and talk badly about you is not a friend. Better to realize now that friendship is an illusion than to defend him and get disillusioned later on.

I'm sorry to hear about your situation UF, but Goliath is right about what true friends will do. And while it may be hard at first there will be people who acept you for you are (and not just us cyber-UD weirdos ) and whom you can relate too.

Is there a GSA at your school (I'm guessing not based on your description)? If not there's bound to be some people who can at least agree with your attitudes/beliefs (not just about whether it's ok to be gay), even in your community. You just have to find them, and while it may be hard it's very much worth it in the end.

UmbrellaFish wrote:But sometimes, I wonder if he’s just as gay as me, but is too repressed (I might add, his parents are not homophobic, so it’s not been grounded in him through family) to admit it. I mean, for a person, like him, to have grown up with a close gay relative, but then talk about mass genocide of gays at the same hat, is it not possible that that person just hates their self? Or am I making up fairy tales to satisfy myself and is my friend, and someone I would like to be more than with, actually a monster?

I'm majoring in social work, and we learned about internalized homophobia, which is basically a person who is gay who, because of whatever factors, doesn't want to be associated with being gay. It pretty much has to do with people not wanting to be like other 'different' people. There may be feelings of guilt. This is a good article giving an overview of it:

http://revelandriot.com/resources/inter ... homophobia

I'm not an expert by any means, but it is possible that your friend feels this way, or it could be that he is a homophobe. I can't even imagine being in your shoes, having to hide a part of who you are like that. I completely agree with F-H, though- do try to see out a support group. Being surrounded by people who have similar feelings as you do and who have gone through or who are going through a similar experience will give you some strength and insight.