Here with one more skit is <b>Escapay</b>!:
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<center><b><u>UD Member of the Year</u></b></center>
:
Aaron: And now, presenting our final award of the evening...the ever-enchanting Whoopi Goldberg!
(a burst of fanfare and the spotlight roams the ceiling searching for her, as she was there last year. Whoopi then enters stage right and looks over at the audience, all looking up at the ceiling. She looks confused and looks up as well. One of the spotlights suddenly goes back to the stage and focuses on Whoopi, looking up.)
Whoopi: What are we looking at?
(the audience is surprised and looks over at Whoopi. They begin cheering and give her a standing ovation. She smiles and takes a bow.)
Whoopi: Thank you, thank you, thank you.
(she beckons for the audience to sit down, they sit.)
Whoopi: Member of the Year. It has a nice ring to it, doesn't it? And what is there to say about being Member of the Year? The UltimateDisney forum has become home to nearly 6000 members over the past six years. It's a thriving forum that's ever-changing and ever-expanding, but with the core focus always on the members' love for all things Disney. Many members have come and gone...and come back again. And tonight we honor six nominees that the forum community have considered to be Members of the Year. They may be nominated because of the sheer amount of work they put into the forum and in reviews...or because they're funny...or because they're informative...or because they never have a negative thing to say...or sometimes because they never have a positive thing to say! But most of all, these six nominees represents the ideals and posts that define UltimateDisney.com, and provide a strong and positive presence on the forums.
(there is some murmuring among the audience.)
Whoopi: What's wrong?
Someone in the audience: You said that last year!
Whoopi: I did?
(she looks over at Aaron, he nods.)
Whoopi: I guess I did. Well, it still holds true today. And like last year, we all are Members of the Year. But there aren't enough Golden Mickeys to go around, so now comes the tough part. When it's decided who has been named UltimateDisney.com Member of the Year.
(the lights flare around dramatically then focus solely on Whoopi.)
Whoopi: Originally, we had planned for a grand presentation of the nominees featuring a long skit in which I would re-enact various scenes from several of my movies with the nominees. All of us were pretty excited about it too. I was going to do a bit of The Color Purple and a bit from my award-winning performance in Ghost. We even -
(she's interrupted by a round of applause from the audience)
Whoopi: Thank you, thank you. Anyway, we went so far as to rehearse the complete "Get Up Offa That Thing/Dancing in the Street" scene I did in Sister Act 2. But, unfortunately, with the economy in the toilet, it was decided to have a more low-key and less-expensive presentation.
(the audience groans.)
Whoopi: So...here's a slideshow of the nominee's names.
(slideshow begins)
AwallaceUNC
blackcauldron85
Escapay
Luke
SpringHeelJack
xxhplinkxx
(the audience sighs in disappointment. The slideshow then ends as quickly as it began.)
Whoopi: Then, of course, we decided, "Hey, it's the UD Awards! We're worth the expense!"
(audience cheers.)
Whoopi: So, without further adieu, I present the nominees for UltimateDisney.com Member of the Year!
(audience cheers again. The lights dim, then resume, and we see it's The Color Purple. Whoopi is Celie, blackcauldron85 is Sofia, Luke is Shug, Escapay is Albert, and SpringHeelJack is Grady.)
- Celie: [lunging towards Albert with a knife] I curse you. Until you do right by me everything you think about is gonna crumble!
Sofia: Don't do it Mrs. Celie. Don't trade places with what I been through.
Shug: Come on, Celie, let's go to the car.
Sofia: He ain't worth it, he ain't worth it.
Albert: Who you think you is? You can curse nobody. Look at you. Your black, you're poor, you're ugly, you're a woman, you're nothing at all!
Celie: Until you do right by me, everything you even think about gonna fail!
Grady: It's been a pleasure meeting all of you. Good-bye.
(the lights dim and resume, now it's Ghost. Whoopi is in her award-winning role as Oda Mae Brown, AwallaceUNC is Sam, and xxhplinkxx is the Banker.)
- Banker: Just sign this card on the bottom line, please.
Oda Mae: May I use your pen?
Sam: No! Rita Miller!
Oda Mae: I´m so sorry. I need another one. I signed the wrong name.
Sam: Tell her to send it up to the third floor file, you have a transaction to make.
Oda Mae: Make sure this goes to the third floor, I have a transfusion to make.
Sam: Let´s go.
Oda Mae: You know what I mean... Can I keep this pen?
Banker: Yes, sure.
Oda Mae: Thank you so much. Bye-bye. I love these pens.
Sam: What do you want to keep the pen for?
(as they leave, the lights dim. They brighten up again and Whoopi is once again wearing her Sister Mary Clarence outfit, and begins singing "Get Up Offa That Thing". A bunch of dancers then start dancing in the aisle, and there is a surprise cameo by Kathy Najimy and Wendy Makkena. Some UD Forum Award Security Guards are holding out the church baskets to get money from the audience.)
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(Audience gets up and starts to dance too...but for some odd reason, the youtube video ends early, as does the dance at the UD Awards. All the lights shut off, and then the singular spotlight is back on Whoopi, this time with the nominees around her.)
Whoopi: Ladies and Gentlemen, here are the nominees for UltimateDisney.com Member of the Year...
AwallaceUNC
blackcauldron85
Escapay
Luke
SpringHeelJack
xxhplinkxx
(applause from the audience. The nominees then leave the stage to stand waiting in the wings.)
Whoopi: Now...last year, I had a giveaway game in which I ended up throwing the results envelope into a great big bonfire of slipcovers.
(gasp from slipcover lovers who did not attend the awards last year.)
Whoopi: This year, in an effort to be more eco-friendly all the results were tabulated online to save on printing paper, and as we speak, Aaron Wallace is backstage with his cell phone. He will randomly send the result to someone in this room right...now.
(someone's cell phone rings. A hush falls over the crowd.)
Whoopi: Will that lucky audience member please stand up?
(An audience member stands up somewhere in Section J. It's CampbellzSoup. A stagehand brings a microphone over.)
CampbellzSoup: Um...hi!
Whoopi: Hello there. What's your name, kiddo?
CampbellzSoup: My name is CampbellzSoup, though people know me as Mike.
Whoopi: Mike? Don't we have a Mike?
(Disney Duster, Disney Villain, and lighthousemike stand up and wave at Whoopi.)
Whoopi: Oh wow, three Mikes...unless I left someone out...or Escapay did, he wrote this for me! So I guess that makes you Mike the Fourth!
CampbellzSoup: I guess so.
Whoopi: Is this your first UD Awards?
CampbellzSoup: Yes.
Whoopi: Awesome. Think you can read your text message for me?
CampbellzSoup: Sure!
(CampbellzSoup opens phone, retrieves text message.)
CampbellzSoup: (reading) Want to have some fun tonight? Text "Party" to...
Whoopi: (interrupts) Wait, wait, wait...that's not right.
CampbellzSoup: That's what my text message says.
Whoopi: Hold on...did anyone else get a text message?
(CampbellzSoup sits down as everyone checks their phone. Someone screams and starts waving their phone in the air. It's Dottie in Section C2.)
Dottie: Yay! Yay! It's me, it's me!
Whoopi: Congratulations!
(another stagehand brings over a microphone.)
Dottie: Oh my gosh, I can't believe it, I'm talking to Whoopi!
Whoopi: Yes, you are!
(Dottie is hyperventilating)
Dottie: It's Whoopi! It's Whoopi! It's Whoopi!
Whoopi: It is! It is! It is!
(audience and Dottie laugh.)
Whoopi: What does your text message say, honey?
Dottie: (reading) "Where are you? Parking is a bitch and I can't find a spot!" Oh wait...that's from Wonderlicious. Sorry!
(Dottie sits down and texts him back. Aaron comes out now with his cell phone.)
Aaron: Sorry, Whoopi, for some reason I didn't get service backstage so the text message didn't go through. I'll send it now.
(Aaron hits send on his cell phone. Whoopi's cell phone rings. The audience laughs as she takes it out.)
Whoopi: I should have known. Thanks, Aaron.
Aaron: No problem, Whoopi.
(he leaves, and Whoopi looks back at her cell phone.)
Whoopi: The Golden Mickey for UltimateDisney.com Member of the Year goes to...
(She opens the cell phone to read the winner's name.)
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blackcauldron85
<i>This is blackcauldron85's 4th Golden Mickey Award and second this year. She has seven this year.</i></center>
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Congratulations, Amy!
-Aaron
:
don't ever change scapes
Congratulations to all the winners!!! 