Page 6 of 11
Posted: Wed Feb 25, 2004 7:07 pm
by indianajdp
Hmmm....
In my expert opinion, the suckage level in this thread has increased no less than 64.82793% since page two.
I'm honestly scared for all of you if this approaches double figures (pages). You might be irreperably harmed.
Posted: Wed Feb 25, 2004 7:12 pm
by Tangela
indianajdp wrote:Hmmm....
In my expert opinion, the suckage level in this thread has increased no less than 64.82793% since page two.
I'm honestly scared for all of you if this approaches double figures (pages). You might be irreperably harmed.
Page 6! Alright!

Posted: Wed Feb 25, 2004 7:44 pm
by Sekaino Jasmine
Posted: Wed Feb 25, 2004 8:09 pm
by Loomis
indianajdp wrote:Hmmm....
In my expert opinion, the suckage level in this thread has increased no less than 64.82793% since page two.
I'm honestly scared for all of you if this approaches double figures (pages). You might be irreperably harmed.
By my own rough calculations (which happen to coincide exactly with your own), the Suckage Level of this thread is on a downwards slide. If, as indiana has suggestion, it continues to decline we WILL be forced to take measures: rubber suits for everyone; innoculations; novelty products; whiskey; eggs and bacon.
However, we can be redeemed.
If you all agree to sign on for a 4 week trtaining program that I've called
A GUIDE TO MAINTAINING HILARITY BY LOOMIS
Over the course of 4 weeks, I'll teach you to be consistently funny ALL THE TIME. No more suckage; no more wondering what to say; no more unfortunate "foot in mouth" disease.
ACT NOW and not only save the thread, but you receive these novelty fake breasts ABSOLUTELY FREE
Posted: Wed Feb 25, 2004 11:22 pm
by michelle
Loomis wrote:A GUIDE TO MAINTAINING HILARITY BY LOOMIS
Over the course of 4 weeks, I'll teach you to be consistently funny ALL THE TIME. No more suckage; no more wondering what to say; no more unfortunate "foot in mouth" disease.
Talk about the blind leading the blind
Loomis wrote:If, as indiana has suggestion, it continues to decline we WILL be forced to take measures: rubber suits for everyone; innoculations; novelty products; whiskey; eggs and bacon.
And! You forgot cheese. Thank god for cheese, our only saving grace.
Man, I wonder what 5 months on this board has done to me ...
Posted: Thu Feb 26, 2004 1:22 am
by Sekaino Jasmine
Loomis wrote:indianajdp wrote:Hmmm....
In my expert opinion, the suckage level in this thread has increased no less than 64.82793% since page two.
I'm honestly scared for all of you if this approaches double figures (pages). You might be irreperably harmed.
By my own rough calculations (which happen to coincide exactly with your own), the Suckage Level of this thread is on a downwards slide. If, as indiana has suggestion, it continues to decline we WILL be forced to take measures: rubber suits for everyone; innoculations; novelty products; whiskey; eggs and bacon.
However, we can be redeemed.
If you all agree to sign on for a 4 week trtaining program that I've called
A GUIDE TO MAINTAINING HILARITY BY LOOMIS
Over the course of 4 weeks, I'll teach you to be consistently funny ALL THE TIME. No more suckage; no more wondering what to say; no more unfortunate "foot in mouth" disease.
ACT NOW and not only save the thread, but you receive these novelty fake breasts ABSOLUTELY FREE
Cool! Where do I sign up?

Posted: Thu Feb 26, 2004 5:10 am
by Loomis
michelle wrote:
Talk about the blind leading the blind
[...]
And! You forgot cheese. Thank god for cheese, our only saving grace.
Man, I wonder what 5 months on this board has done to me ...
Hey, I represent that remark!
And in 5 short months, I have taught you the saving graces of cheese. ou have done well my child. Now you are ready to accept the teachings of Loomis to their full extent.
Which brings me to Sekaino Jasmine's question:
Sekaino Jasmine wrote:Cool! Where do I sign up?
All you have to do is send your life savings (cash or money order order only) to the following address:
Loomis
42 Wallaby Way
Sydney NSW AUSTRALIA 2000
I also accept Paypal.
Posted: Thu Feb 26, 2004 5:54 am
by Sekaino Jasmine
I don't have any life savings, sorry.
Is there another way?

Posted: Thu Feb 26, 2004 5:59 am
by Loomis
Sekaino Jasmine wrote:I don't have any life savings, sorry.
Is there another way?

Well, I gues YOUR SOUL WILL DO....bwhahahahah

!!!
I accept that with a stamped, self addressed envelope, so that I can send you out your starter kit.
I also accept travellers cheques (that's "checks" in American").
Posted: Thu Feb 26, 2004 6:55 am
by umbreongirl
*tries to fit little body in a box*......*RIP!* Uh-oh.......teh boxxy broke. Can you just send me the kit and I'll send you an IOU?

Posted: Thu Feb 26, 2004 4:20 pm
by Loomis
umbreongirl wrote:*tries to fit little body in a box*......*RIP!* Uh-oh.......teh boxxy broke. Can you just send me the kit and I'll send you an IOU?

Well, it doesn't have to be your body....just your soul will suffice.
If not your metaphysical soul, the sole of your shoe will also serve as a symbol of your metaphysical soul and is legally binding under international law and most domestic laws anyways...
Posted: Thu Feb 26, 2004 4:27 pm
by Sekaino Jasmine
Loomis wrote:umbreongirl wrote:*tries to fit little body in a box*......*RIP!* Uh-oh.......teh boxxy broke. Can you just send me the kit and I'll send you an IOU?

Well, it doesn't have to be your body....just your soul will suffice.
If not your metaphysical soul, the sole of your shoe will also serve as a symbol of your metaphysical soul and is legally binding under international law and most domestic laws anyways...
What would you want with the sole of a shoe?
Since the sole of a shoe costs basically nothing, I say that this whole thing be absolutely free.
Posted: Thu Feb 26, 2004 4:41 pm
by Loomis
Sekaino Jasmine wrote:
What would you want with the sole of a shoe?
Since the sole of a shoe costs basically nothing, I say that this whole thing be absolutely free.
That is where you are wrong...to me it is an invaluable commodity....
To get off topic again...
I was out the other night, and at the RSL across the road from my work, there was a menu out the front.
One of the things listed on there was meant to be a banana fritter, but instead it actually read "banana
fitter".
Freudian slip on the part of the signwriter?
Brings up a whole lot of wacky mental pictures...
Posted: Thu Feb 26, 2004 5:54 pm
by Sekaino Jasmine
Loomis wrote:Sekaino Jasmine wrote:
What would you want with the sole of a shoe?
Since the sole of a shoe costs basically nothing, I say that this whole thing be absolutely free.
That is where you are wrong...to me it is an invaluable commodity....
To get off topic again...
I was out the other night, and at the RSL across the road from my work, there was a menu out the front.
One of the things listed on there was meant to be a banana fritter, but instead it actually read "banana
fitter".
Freudian slip on the part of the signwriter?
Brings up a whole lot of wacky mental pictures...
You wanna know something? I have nothing to say that, so I'm just going to look at you strangely.
*Looks at Loomis strangely*
Posted: Thu Feb 26, 2004 7:16 pm
by Loomis
Sekaino Jasmine wrote:
You wanna know something? I have nothing to say that, so I'm just going to look at you strangely.
*Looks at Loomis strangely*
Hee hee hee....amateur....
You don't even know the beginning of actig strangely!
That's why you should take....
A GUIDE TO MAINTAINING STRANGENESS BY LOOMIS
Over the course of 4 weeks, I'll teach you to be consistently strange ALL THE TIME.
ACT NOW and not only save the thread, but you receive these novelty fake breasts ABSOLUTELY FREE (I had a whole box of them left over from the other course....).
Posted: Thu Feb 26, 2004 7:25 pm
by Sekaino Jasmine
Loomis wrote:Sekaino Jasmine wrote:
You wanna know something? I have nothing to say that, so I'm just going to look at you strangely.
*Looks at Loomis strangely*
Hee hee hee....amateur....
You don't even know the beginning of actig strangely!
That's why you should take....
A GUIDE TO MAINTAINING STRANGENESS BY LOOMIS
Over the course of 4 weeks, I'll teach you to be consistently strange ALL THE TIME.
ACT NOW and not only save the thread, but you receive these novelty fake breasts ABSOLUTELY FREE (I had a whole box of them left over from the other course....).
Um, what do I have to do for this one?
Posted: Thu Feb 26, 2004 7:48 pm
by Loomis
Sekaino Jasmine wrote:Loomis wrote:
Hee hee hee....amateur....
You don't even know the beginning of actig strangely!
That's why you should take....
A GUIDE TO MAINTAINING STRANGENESS BY LOOMIS
Over the course of 4 weeks, I'll teach you to be consistently strange ALL THE TIME.
ACT NOW and not only save the thread, but you receive these novelty fake breasts ABSOLUTELY FREE (I had a whole box of them left over from the other course....).
Um, what do I have to do for this one?
This one is like trying to get into the academy in Fame. You have to perform for me. If you can demonstrate that you are strange enough, you earn a scholarship to the Loomis Academy of Strange Acting.
Of course, with fame come a price...Remember my name...
Posted: Thu Feb 26, 2004 7:52 pm
by MickeyMouseboy
Loomis wrote:
Loomis
42 Wallaby Way
Sydney NSW AUSTRALIA 2000
Hey! that's my address!
Posted: Thu Feb 26, 2004 8:03 pm
by Loomis
MickeyMouseboy wrote:Loomis wrote:
Loomis
42 Wallaby Way
Sydney NSW AUSTRALIA 2000
Hey! that's my address!
Shhh...people will find out that my teaching courses are just a front for MMB Inc - the Most Evil Corporation in the World...

Posted: Thu Feb 26, 2004 8:08 pm
by MickeyMouseboy
OMG!

I

gave it away! I better start putting all my files and important things in my vault since they know where i am!
