Here's another skit, this time from <b>Julian Carter</b>, presenting our first special category award!:
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<center><b><u>Special Award: Most Artistic Member of the Year </u></b></center>

:
This award is presented by Pierre de Toilettes, a flamboyant and often melodramatic French-born showman, artist and illusionist. Pierre’s behaviour often juggles between the calm and composed to the somewhat eccentric. He’s rather touchy when people mock his surname in any way … which is part of his birth name and not simply a stage name.
Pierre de Toilettes
: (enters in a shower of sparks and pyrotechnics; French accent) "Ladies and gentlemen … being both an artist and an illusionist, I am about to unceremoniously yank you out of your seats, elevate your souls sky high, and immerse you in an unforgettable artful journey that will find us the most artistic, currently active user at Ultimate Disney.com!
Audience
: (intrigued) "Oooh!"
Pierre de Toilettes rotates both his arms in an outward spiral, a wind machine makes his clothes flutter, and the entire hall shakes relentlessly. The ceiling seems to fade away into a starry night sky. Everybody is enthralled, wondering how something of this sort could possibly be just a simple illusion.
Pierre de Toilettes
: "And, I have taken us high into the heavens!"
Aaron
: (to Luke) "Wow … this toilet guy really is goo-"
Pierre de Toilettes
: "Ah! What is that I hear? You there!"
Aaron
: "Er?"
Pierre de Toilettes
: "You just called me Toilet Guy! I am Pierre de Toilettes! It is a dignified name that you have just insulted! Do you dare argue that indisputable fact!?"
Aaron
: (mumbles) "Um … sorry."
Pierre de Toilettes
: "Sorry!? Just ‘sorry’!? If you think I’m going to tolerate this sort of attitude …"
Pierre de Toilettes rants and raves. In the meantime …
Marge
: (whispers to her friend Mabel) "I’m so fed up with all this toilet humour, Mabel. Don’t know what they think is funny about it. Did this Pierre think he was being awfully clever opting for such a stupid stage name?"
Mabel
: "You’re so right, Marge. I miss the comedy we had back in ‘55."
Marge
: "Oh, Jerry Lewis! Cute!"
Pierre de Toilettes proceeds with the show.
Pierre de Toilettes
: "And now I will call upon me the three great Renaissance painters and sculptors to decide who is Ultimate Disney’s best artist!"
With a swish of Pierre de Toilettes’s hand, three translucent spirits enter the hall. They descend, alight with an ethereal glow.
Leonardo da Vinci
: "Dio mio! Sono vivo! Sono vivo!"
Michelangelo Buonarroti
: "Sei sempre stato un idiota! Non hai mai stato più morto!"
Pierre de Toilettes
: "Ahem! Translation, please?"
Michelangelo Buonarroti
: "Oh yes, of course. (to Leonardo) You idiot! You idiot! You’ve never been deader! You’d think the floating sensation and general lack of opacity would’ve clued you in by now. Sheesh!"
Leonardo da Vinci
: "I never liked you. (grumble grumble) Bighead. (grumble grumble)"
Michelangelo Buonarroti
: "Your Mona Lisa looks like a sissy."
Leonardo da Vinci
: (with obvious effort) "I will retain my composure and refrain from saying what is so darned wrong with that sentence."
Michelangelo Buonarroti
: "I might add that your Last Supper resembles peeling corn flakes, thanks to your brilliant experiments!"
Leonardo da Vinci
: (hurt) "Well … your David could use a spot of Viagra! So there!"
Michelangelo Buonarroti:
"Your sketches are scribbles!"
Leonardo da Vinci
: "Your fresco depicting Adam isn’t that hot!"
Michelangelo Buonarroti
: "Your paintings are smelly!"
Leonardo da Vinci
: "Your face is smelly!"
Raphael
: "And what is going on here, gentlemen?"
Leonardo
and Michelangelo: (in unison) "You keep your oils out of this!"
Raphael
: (welling up) "Fine! I’ll take my palette, go in the corner and sulk!"
Joan Rivers
: "Hi boys! I thought I’d visit! Any of you interested in a Looney Tunes vinyl handbag?"
Leonardo da Vinci
: "Mamma mia! Che bellezza!"
Michelangelo Buonarroti
: "Not interested."
Leonardo da Vinci
: (excitedly) "Ma che donna sensuale! I suoi occhi! I suoi capelli!"
Joan Rivers
: "Why I don’t know what lingo this guy’s speakin’, but (laughs) I sure feel like I’m being flattered!"
Leonardo da Vinci
: "Bambola mia, noi dobbiamo fare …"
Joan Rivers
: "Yes?"
Leonardo da Vinci
: " … il sesso!"
Joan Rivers
: "Now that sounds familiar. Let me see. Somebody hand me an Italian-English dictionary."
Joan Rivers’ assisitant
: "Here you are, madame."
Joan Rivers
: (leafs through pages) "So, lemme see. Oh, here it is! Hmmm …"
Leonardo da Vinci
: "Bacio?"
Joan Rivers
: (finally comprehending what’s going on) "Oh, you perv!! (slaps Leonardo’s ghostly figure in the face) How dare you sexually harass me!? Like I’d be interested in a mouldy old coot like you, and it’s not like you’ve got anything to offer. A carrot would make for more satisfying sex. And not to mention that I’m engaged to ol’ David here."
ichabod
: "Yuck. I am so suing her for slander!"
Luke
: "Joan always had an undeniable attraction for our ichabod."
ichabod
: "You’re in on this, aren’t you!?"
Pierre de Toilettes
: "ENOUGH!!! I have had it up to here with all of you! You three (points to Michelangelo, Leonardo and Raphael) can get your Renaissance butts back where they belong!
Raphael
: "But sir, I didn’t do anything! Leonardo started it!"
Pierre de Toilettes
: "That is entirely beside the point!"
Raphael
: "Boo-hoo! Sob!"
Pierre de Toilettes
: "As for you, Ms Rivers … I’ll take care of you!"
Joan Rivers
: "Handbag?"
With a dramatic gesture, Pierre de Toilettes makes Joan disappear in a cloud of acrid smoke. A solitary, beige, leather handbag rather poignantly remains where she once stood. A fallen warrior …
Nah. Pierre de Toilettes just sent her to the Galapagos Islands.
Pierre de Toilettes
: "Now that that’s taken care of, we can finally declare the winner - which I initially wanted to do in a really lofty manner involving all three of those buffoons - but their bad behaviour requires me to dole out punishments."
enigmawing
: (whispering to slave2moonlight) "You know, Nathan, I was actually getting quite a kick out of those three bitching around."
slave2moonlight
: "Me too. I was hoping we’d get a battle of the neo-classicists next."
Luke
: "And so, we come to our result."
Escapay
: (indignantly) "Talk about an anti-climax."
Mr. Toad
: "Yeah. I’d reckon Death himself could take out the show with more of a bang."
Death
: "Don’t tempt me."
Luke
: And now, the award for Most Artistic Member of the Year...!
<center>...Third Place goes to...
Mooky
...Second place goes to...
slave2moonlight
...And the Golden Mickey goes to...
enigmawing

<i>This is enigmawing's second Golden Mickey Award and her second this year.</i> </center>
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Congratulations again to enigmawing, as well as to Mooky and slave2moonlight!
Thanks for presenting the award, Julian Carter!
Stay tuned -- more is on the way!
-Aaron